Montana Wild (12 page)

On the outside, it probably looked like she was having fun, but on the inside she felt raw. During one of the lulls in the conversation, Jamie stared sadly at her beer. Ben caught her expression and leaned over to rub her shoulder with a knowing look. Returning his look with a weak smile, her eyes watered for just a second but she willed the tears away before they could fall. Ben took her hand and led her out to the dance floor and they danced like two fools with no worry about public humiliation. The dancing wore off their alcohol and exhausted, they knew it was time to leave. Both had to get up early the next morning, this being only Tuesday night. Serious partying must be saved for the weekends.

On the ride home, they laughed as they recounted some of the evening’s highlights. Then on a serious note, Ben brought up Kevin.

“Don’t count him out, Jamie.” She didn’t know what to say so she said nothing. “He’s a good guy. Don’t count him out yet, okay? I don’t want to get involved in your and Kevin’s business, I’m just looking out for you.” Ben glanced in her direction.

Jamie didn’t comment; she didn’t know what to say about Kevin but she did think this would be a good opening for her. “What about you and Crystal?” She turned the tables on him. “Do you think she’s the right girl for you?”

“Well, it’s pretty early for us.”

“I know I just met her.” Jamie knew she had to tread delicately here. “But she doesn’t seem your type.”

“You don’t think so, huh? Well, what’s my type?”

She knew exactly how to answer. “Your type is someone who’s going to cherish you for the loving, caring, fun person you are. I just didn’t see that in Crystal.” There, she’d said it. She continued, “She doesn’t seem to appreciate you for who you are. You have so much to offer a woman. Don’t sell yourself short, even if that means waiting. You wait for her Ben, she’ll come.”

He didn’t say anything. They rode the rest of the way in silence as if both were deep in thought. After parking the truck, he walked her to her cabin. He remained quiet and now Jamie began to feel guilty about her bluntness. Basically she told him that she didn’t think Crystal was good enough for him, which was the truth, but still, maybe she should’ve held her tongue.

“Ben, I’m sorry. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I’m sorry if I said anything that offended you. Hurting you is the last thing I want to do, I consider you a dear friend.” Jamie spit it all out.

“No need to apologize; I’m not hurt. You brought up something that’s been in the back of my mind for a while. I needed an objective view. Thank you.”

“I don’t think you realize what a great guy and what a good catch you are. I want you to hold out for that lucky woman who deserves you and is going to treat you like the prince you are. I know it sounds hokey, but I’m dead serious.”

They were in front of Jamie’s cabin. Ben stopped walking and looked at her. He reached out and hugged her, holding on for a minute and whispered in her ear.

“Thank you, Jamie. I needed that. You don’t know how good it is to hear that from someone like you.” He kissed her cheek and let her go.

“G’night.”

“Good night, Ben.” In a pensive mood after talking with Ben, her thoughts wandered back to how she ended up in Montana.
What exactly am I doing here?
Lying in bed with the stillness of night surrounding her took her back to the initial phone conversations with Kevin. It was rare and liberating to open up to someone when barriers of one's looks, social standing, and career choices were unknown. Then life complicates things. She had to laugh to keep from crying.

Kevin was awake in Ben’s cabin when he opened the door.

“Where were you?” Kevin asked.

“At the bar. I went to rehearse but ended up staying much later than I planned. Jamie went with me.” Ben got that out in the open right away.

“Oh.” Kevin’s unspoken question was answered. He had looked for her and wondered about her whereabouts.

“How is she?”

Ben took a moment to answer. “She was okay most of the time, but she seemed preoccupied. She didn’t bring it up and neither did I. But, Kevin, I know what’s on her mind. You.”

Kevin looked up at Ben and this statement lifted his spirits.

“I’ve made a mess of things and I don’t quite know how to fix it.” Kevin confessed.

“A dilemma over two beautiful women. Oh, I should have such problems.” Ben attempted some humor.

“There is no comparing the two,” Kevin said. “They couldn’t be more different.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make light of your situation.”

“I don’t know what to do. Lola won’t leave. I’ve told her that whatever we had is done, but she won’t go. And I can’t force her. I can’t physically throw her out. That would be ugly and I don’t want or need ugly. And Jamie’s not going to come anywhere near me as long as Lola’s around. I’m not even sure Jamie will have anything to do with me even when Lola leaves, if that ever happens. What a mess!”

“Wish I could help you, bud. If you think of any way that I can, let me know. You know I will,” Ben offered his best friend.

“Yeah, I know you would.”

“Not that I don’t love sharing this tiny little cabin with you!” Ben said sarcastically and threw a pillow at him. “Maybe I should go sleep elsewhere.”

“Oh no you don’t. I told you. You are my alibi that I’m here every night, all night. That’s what I need you to do for me right now. Just put up with me.” He pleaded to his old friend.

“Well, if you put it that way.” Ben slugged Kevin playfully. “Now shut up and get some sleep.”

Chapter 15

Jamie slept restlessly again. Funny how a little heartache can mess with your sleep, your body, and your mind. However, it didn’t feel like a little heartache and she had a hard time grasping why it hurt so much. It wasn’t like she’d known Kevin long or that he’d made her any promises. He hadn’t lied to her; she tried to analyze it. Over the past few weeks, he had become a big part of her life and she was starting to fall for him, despite her own vow. After their kiss, she thought he felt the same way but witnessing him with Lola had woken her up. Best to stop it now before her heart became fully invested. But to be honest, other than one kiss, he had not led her on and she had no reason to be angry with him. And the kiss — he’d probably just been caught up in the moment. She wasn’t even sure that she was so much angry as hurt. She couldn’t blame him because her heart jumped miles ahead of what really was occurring between them, which was friendship.

She had to work on getting a flight home. Locating a shuttle to the local airport had proved difficult and she didn’t want to ask someone at the ranch. That would be a last resort. There was no rush to depart when things were going smoothly, but she needed to put some real effort into it now without being too obvious that she was leaving due to a broken heart. She did not want to appear pathetic.

Jamie got out of bed and dressed, dreading the possibility of running into Kevin or Lola. Thankful that she hadn’t seen Kevin at all last night, her mind wandered as to what he may have been doing and she snapped it back.
Stop! Why torture yourself with thoughts like that? Let it go.
She decided to think about Jack instead which perked up her spirit, and she headed out the door.

Only a few hands were in the mess hall securing their cup of morning joe. Jamie was stirring the milk into her tea concentrating on the swirls of white dancing with the dark tea when a voice behind her made her jump.

“Nothing like a cup of caffeine to get the day started.” Kevin grabbed a cup for his coffee.

She didn’t see him come in. “Yep, you know me and my tea.” She smiled weakly.

“How’s the riding going?”

“It’s going great. I’m learning a lot from Hector. He’s amazing.”
Stay cool, aloof.

“Yeah, he’s good. And he says you seem to have a natural talent with the horses.”

“Go figure, a city girl like me.” Jamie forced a laugh.

“How about going for a ride with me later this afternoon? There’s a new trail I’d like to show you. It’s a bit more challenging.” Kevin eyed Jamie hopefully.

“Oh, sorry. I’ve got a pretty busy day planned with Hector.” She mumbled out a quick excuse.

His face grew serious. “Jamie, can we talk? I would like to explain some things to you.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary.”

“Yes it is. I need to talk to . . .”

“Kevin!” One of the hands called him from the entrance and he turned his head toward the voice. “They’re here with the feed shipment but they won’t let me sign.”

With that interruption, Jamie slipped out the back door. She had listened to Derrick’s excuses and apologies so often she had become immune to them. In her heart she knew it was not fair to hold Kevin to Derrick’s low standards but she had forgiven too much for too long and she couldn’t go through that again.
Just stay friends and protect your heart
.

As she left the mess hall, Jamie saw Consuelo carrying a breakfast tray toward the house. Breakfast in bed for Lola? And Consuelo delivering it? That just didn’t seem like Kevin but she was learning new things about him every day.
Maybe I didn’t know him like I thought I did.

Once Jamie entered the barn, she headed straight to Jack’s stall. Calling out to him as she neared, he poked his head out of the stall to greet her.

“Good morning, Jack.” She stroked his neck and face. “How’d you sleep? I hope better than me.” She continued to stroke his head. “I need to find Hector and see what he has planned for me today. See you later.” He retreated back into his stall as she left.

“What’s the plan today, boss? I’m all yours,” she asked with a smile. Jamie enjoyed her work with the horses and looked forward to every day there. Realizing this was a gift that would end soon she planned on enjoying every minute of every day.

“Good morning,
Señorita
. You know the drill, as they say. Start wherever you want.”

“Hector.” Jamie looked at him, eyes wide with hope. “Do you think I could ride Jack again today? I will be so careful, I promise. I’ll take it slow. Please.”

“
Señorita
. You know how Kevin is about anyone riding Jack. He does not want anyone to get hurt.”

“I know and I can appreciate that. But I also know that Jack won’t hurt me. I KNOW that, Hector.” She looked him in the eye.

“I can sense that too,” he admitted. “But I can’t grant you permission to do so.”

Her face fell.

“But,” Hector continued, “sometimes I’m so busy that I can’t keep watch on everything that goes on around here and sometimes I don’t even notice if a horse is in his stall or not. And I think I’m going to be very busy today.” Hector winked at Jamie.

Jamie realized what Hector meant and nearly shouted out loud. Smiling back at Hector, she put her fist over her heart.

“
Gracias,
Hector,” she whispered and went off to start her chores.

Kevin tried talking to Lola several times but she just didn’t get it.

“Lola, whatever we had is over. I’m interested in another woman now.” She sat on the leather sofa in his great room, filing her nails, a housewives reality show on TV. He stood between her and the TV to get her full attention.

“Kevin, you tried ending it before with me but you always changed your mind.” Putting down her file, she smiled at him with ruby red lips.

“Not this time, Lola. It’s over. There is someone else and I’m serious about her. I know we used to hook up whenever you came to town, but it’s different now. I’m not interested in you anymore. I can’t be blunter than that. I’m sorry.”

“I know you’ll change your mind again, you always do. Remember when we were in Vegas? We never left the hotel room, remember?” She batted her lashes at him, walked over, and started rubbing his shoulder.

“No! This is different. It’s over.” He moved away from her, toward the kitchen. “C’mon, Lola, you know we never were serious about each other. What do you want? I can have a driver take you to the airport or anywhere. Seriously, what do you want? I don’t want to get a court order to get you out of here. Don’t force me to do some ugly shit like that. Let’s end this on a civil note, okay?”

“I know you don’t mean this. And I’m not leaving. Go ahead, call the cops, and I’ll call the press. Songwriter bullies lover off of his ranch. Yeah, go ahead.”

Kevin couldn’t listen to her crap and walked out, slamming the door. How can he be held prisoner in his own house? What did he ever see in her other than the obvious physical attributes? Was he crazy? Did he ever know Lola, really know her, other than sexually?
That’s what you get when you play around with fire. Burned
! If this didn’t end soon, he would have to call his lawyer. He didn’t know what the hell to do. He knew what he wanted to do, he wanted to physically pick her up and throw her butt out the door. But that was just not him.

Kevin had basically moved out of the house when she moved in. Consuelo had been an angel and had offered to bring Lola’s meals to her. She never approved of Lola’s visits and it was obvious by her demeanor to Kevin whenever Lola was around. Kevin also knew that Consuelo had picked up on his interest in Jamie and her offering to bring meals to the house kept Lola away from Jamie. He was grateful and told her so.

He needed Lola to vacate, and fast. Jamie wouldn’t stay at the ranch for long, especially under these conditions. She was upset with Lola’s presence and in a way, this flattered him. He hoped that it meant she cared for him more than a friend, but how long would she put up with this? He needed to get Lola out of here.

Knowing her time at the ranch was now on the downswing, Jamie wanted as much Jack time as possible. She outfitted him and led him out the back of the barn.

“Let’s go.” They trotted off along a hilly trail for a half hour before stopping at a stream. The water looked inviting so she took off her boots and waded in.

“Whoa! I forgot how cold this water can be.” Picking up stones from the stream floor, she tried her hand at making them skip across the calm areas where the water pooled. “I never could get the hang of that. Kevin’s good at it.” Speaking his name out loud revived her ache. “Oh, Jack, I know I have to go home but . . .” Her voice caught as she heard herself say the words. The horse kept his eyes on her the whole time as if listening. Jamie looked down at her feet, bent over and reached into the water to retrieve a heart-shaped rock. She studied it carefully
. Is this an omen?
Believing in signs, she deposited the keepsake into her pocket.

“Time to go, even though I could stay here forever with you. It’s so hard to think about leaving.” She stroked Jack and he nuzzled up to her. Jamie grabbed his reins, put her foot in the stirrup, and mounted him. Jack was a tall boy but she loved him. She analyzed this emotion in her mind and heart.
I’ve never loved an animal before. I’ve never even had a pet other than a goldfish. I’ve heard about it, I’ve read about it, but I thought people that talked about their love of animals were nutty. Now I know what they were talking about
. Jamie had to ponder this for a while. They rode back slowly, not wanting their time together to end.

“Jack, I don’t know what to do. I need to go home but I don’t want to. But with Lola being here, and things changing with Kevin, I can’t stay. The tough part is that I’ve made so many friends, good friends, like you and Ben, Rick and Tommy, Consuelo and Hector, it’s going to be tough to leave. And this land, it gets into your blood. I love New York City but this, this just feels right for me. And I won’t even get into my feelings about Kevin, despite what my common sense tells me. And what about you? It’s going to be very tough to leave you. I’m going to have to pull my Scarlett routine and not think about it now. I’ll think about all that tomorrow.” Rambling on she had to deliberately lift her mood so she could enjoy this time with Jack. The ride back was slow and peaceful but sad at the same time.

Once Jamie and Jack returned to the barn, she brushed him down, fed and watered him, and hugged her best friend good night. She retreated out of the barn, but stopped to bid Hector good-night and voice more words of appreciation.

“I don’t know what it is about that horse, Hector, but he’s special to me. I was born and raised in the city. I never knew one could have such feelings for an animal,” Jamie confided.

“We are all God’s creatures. And I don’t necessarily think humans are on a higher level than other animals.”

“You’re so right, Hector. Good night.”

Some major shifting was going on in the barn today so Hector warned her that Jack would be in the main corral in front of the barn. Jamie thanked him for the heads-up and would have to plan how she would steal Jack from that corral so she could ride him in the afternoon.

She sat next to Ben at lunch and he was pumped for his show tonight. Excitement filled the air as the ranch hands were committed to seeing Ben at his finest. A lot of joking and wagering was going on. Some bet that Ben would chicken out because the show had gotten more advertisement than ever imagined. Pledges for the shelter had exceeded their goal. In fact, there had been a little airtime about it on one of the local radio stations.

“Are you ready?” Jamie asked Ben at lunch.

“Yeah, I’m ready. Did you hear how much money they raised for the shelter? That makes me feel good. That alone is reason to go through with this. Hey, who cares if I ruin my reputation and get laughed out of town, as long as I make money for the shelter? That’s what’s important, right, Jamie? Please tell me yes!”

Jamie laughed. “Yes. Really, that’s what this is all about. Remember, you’re a bigger person because of the reason behind why you’re doing this.” She tried to convince him but she couldn’t help but add, “However, I’m so glad it’s you and not me that has to make a fool of yourself!” Jamie laughed and hugged him. “Just kidding. It’s going to be great. You’re going to be great. Don’t worry. Hey, do you mind if I catch a ride with you today?”

“Sure, but I’ll be leaving early. I could use your moral support.”

“You have my total, unconditional support.”

“Thanks, that means a lot. I'm planning on leaving about six. Is that okay?”

“Sure. Whatever works for you. I’ll be ready. See you then.” Jamie gave his arm a squeeze and returned to the barn.

As foretold, Jack was in the large corral in the front of the barn, in full view of most of the ranch. How would she sneak him out? Jamie was in and out of the barn all day as her duties had been altered with all the work going on.

Later in the afternoon as she worked in the barn, she heard commotion outside. Jack could be heard snorting loudly and neighing then she heard a woman screaming. Jamie ran out of the barn toward the noise and saw Lola in the corral backed into a corner with Jack rearing at her. The ranch hands were running toward the ruckus too and there were harsh voices yelling at Jack to back down. Their shouts only seemed to excite him more as he ran in a tight circle, rearing up in front of the shrieking Lola.

“Get some ropes. We need to rope him in!”

“He’s out of control. We have to get her out of there!”

“Grab the whip!”

To her horror she even heard someone yell to get a gun! In shock, she couldn’t believe her eyes and ears. This was her beloved, mild-mannered Jack rearing up like a wild animal and the men would do whatever they needed to do to protect Lola.