Moon Bound (Glorious Darkness Book 1) (27 page)

(53) Forsake

|Regan's POV|

Flashes of reality, words echoing like they are spoken from a distance, coming into the catacombs of my mind. Locked inside, I listen to these bits and pieces coming through. A loophole he missed or one he's allowing?

I don't know. Perhaps I never will.

All that I know are those flashes of her. Hands that are dragging her towards the crowd, screams that are breaking over her lips, ending as abruptly as they came.

An unexpected fortune or a curse to know what's happening yet be helpless to do anything?

Was it all in his plans or is this just a turn of events not even he could foresee - having me under control while she's fighting... fighting alone now and I am not there to save her?

The thought is killing everything in me.

Wishing I could climb up the abyss, everything around me is dark but these flashes. Eyes watching, not seeing all they need to see, they are released for a second and then blindfolded. Still alive, the man has been buried inside his own body while the beast is left alone to fight something he couldn't fight alone.

Crowd parting to take her in, hold her where she no longer belongs - never did, clawed arms are weaving around her, chaining her in place without the need for real restraints.

Wounded animal howling the hurt out, calling me out just like I'm reaching for him. Out of grasp, no contact is possible when he's standing in between, oppressing the beast and commanding the man.

Imprisoning them both.

Collen is walking in the middle of the circle. Gleaming with insanity, yellow eyes are watching those steps, wild creatures taking in every word he's offering.

"ShadowFang, tonight I'm standing before you as your Alpha. A true leader who won't promise you a better life or a peaceful existence. No, I can't promise you any of this but I can give you what you deserve. A glorious battle. A name others will fear. A reputation that will precedes you. An identity." Voice breathless, he's letting me listen to every word. 

Who is really that man who took reign over something that has never been tamed, never conquered? Who is that monster? How is he possible?

"Tonight, ShadowFang, is a night of changes. And the choice is yours. Stand by me, fight with me, follow me instead of this shell of a man who is too weak to lead you and too fickle to stay loyal or this girl who's always running away, who couldn't keep her own mate by her side. Stand by me and taste everything your nature can give you or die underneath these illusions."

A flash of him - arms open, raised on both sides, he's holding them up, pointing both directions - mine and hers, like a statue pointing the flaws that need to be removed.

Pain like poison running through my veins, I can feel it as well as I can feel his pleasure. Knowing that he is the reason for this feeling, the source of my torment, he's giving me more and more of it until there's no space left to be filled and then he's pouring out more.

"A night of changes, ShadowFang! A night of choices! Are you ready to take what's rightfully yours, ShadowFang? Are you ready to forsake weakness and fear and fight for what was taken from you? Are you ready to embrace all that you could be, each one of you could be? Are you ready, ShadowFang?"

Words like fists of steel hitting a brick wall until it starts crumbling under the impact, more and more of it, the chokehold he has on me is slowly getting loose, allowing the flashes to turn into reality, at first a blur of images and then a sight that's crystal clear.

Standing in the middle of the circle, no longer just his own watching him, with each moment he stays, with each word that sinks into realization, more and more eyes are turning to him. Hopes for a future, as dark as it is, still a future better than any I can give them.

At last, my gaze finds her amidst the crowd of wildlings and wolves. Body limp in the arms of her captors, the fight is gone out of her, replaced by a quiet desperation I can see written all over her face. The storms in her eyes are gone, tears illuminated by the Moon making them look like two mirrors staring back at nothing and everything at once.

Reflecting.

Why did I keep her here? Why did I want her to be by my side? She would have been safer without me. Now, surrounded by my enemies, by those who always threatened us, it's my fault and, finally, I know I have nothing of what I thought I had.

What I have, what I am... Nothing.

Weak.

Hand resting on cold flesh, the touch is burning on my skin. It's not her skin I can feel against mine. 

Cheater.

Begging for that chance, promising to be the man she needed...

Liar.

"Will you follow me, ShadowFang?" A shout in a desert, an echo from the words of a god, eery with a promise that will be fulfilled, unlike mine.

Minutes passing by, wasted in stillness and indecision, the Moon is watching from above like she always does.

Watching as her children are about to betray her, every one of them for their own private reasons. Right or wrong, hopeful or hopeless...

Doing nothing.

There's only one direction to this road. She knows it. They know it. The man knows.

The beast, at last, in agreement with the human side that has been buried inside, will follow.

"Well? Who's going to be first?" Engaged in his victorious speech, there won't be a better time than the present.

Reaching out, twisting flesh and bones that are not real but feel like they are, exploring the inside like neither one of them has done before, completion is what they seek, what we need to be freed from these separated cells the monster's holding us in.

Only I can hear the howls. Only he can hear my screams. A song that only the other can understand.

Fingers digging into that feminine flesh, sensation coming back on a tide that will bring my ultimate destruction, I can finally understand what the growls mean.

'Let me out, let me reign, let me lead,' 
he says.

Pulling away, breaking the contact with her, the red, still bleeding mark on her skin mocking everything I've ever thought of myself, it's just a step. Putting one foot in front of another, moving just a few inches away from where I stand, it's a so small thing to do, yet it means so much.

"I will but, please, Collen, I beg of you, let her go. I will do everything. You just let her go. Please."

Whipping his head around to look at me, arching a brow in surprise, 
Anything? Are you sure, Regan? 
he asks, never saying the words out loud but sending them to my mind instead.

Anything... Alpha.

(54) Live And Die

|Scarlet's POV|

Marking another, now asking him to let me free, what is this man doing? 

An Alpha on his knees begging for mercy, letting go of everything that should have mattered to him for someone who may never love him, why?

Why is he breaking my heart again and again? What am I supposed to think of his actions? What is the reason he's doing it now when all he should think of is the other?

He's thinking of me. He's pleading for me. Giving away what he's taken from me, giving it back to someone who deserves it even less.

"Everything," he says with tears in his eyes, barely glancing at me, barely able to move his eyes away once they meet mine.

Hands that are holding me in place, claws that are sticking in my flesh, he's the first and the last thing I see every time I blink. Trying to make sense of it all, trying to find reason where there is none, I don't know why - why I had to do the things I did, why I kept rejecting him, why I caved in...

Why am I now surrounded by my enemies? Why am I standing against my friends who turned into enemies? Why do I have nothing when I should have had it all?

Everything has changed so quick, in the split of a second, another has claimed the place and the mate that belonged to me and now he's back.

Giving me reasons to hate him and then throwing me reasons to love him.

Connecting the dots backwards, it's the only way for me to see the whole picture. I'm ready to see him for all that he is. A man and a monster both. My monster, the one person who has hurt me more than anyone else in this world but is now my only hope.

The need to feel the touch of his hand again, to feel him against me, it's more selfish than I care to admit but I can't let anyone take that from me.

Where we'll be in a moment? What will come of us when this storm ends?

He's the only thing that I have left and he may not even be mine.

"No!" a scream that comes from my lips, a girl fighting an internal battle, breaking away from that grasp, she will be caught but not now when the motion is unwavering.

Closing my eyes, forgetting that it's only a matter of time, running to him in my own desperation to save something that's lost, there's nothing but us when I reach him.

Offering a hand, helping him to his feet, eyes that stare back at me, guilt that's living beneath the color of spring, he's shaking. He's letting me hold him but trying to pull away.

Tears blurring his image in front of me, I will them back but they won't go. I wish the time will go back, that tonight will be just a dream and it will be yesterday still, that I will wake up in his arms after the most horrible nightmare has visited my dreams, that I will choose to love and not run.

Squeezing the material of his shirt between my fingers, pulling him closer to me, he's the only thing I have left now.

Pressing my lips to his, biting his, gliding my tongue over his, I will him to be that man from before who never cheated on my faith, who never betrayed our bond.

Loving and hating, forgiving and blaming, breaking the boundaries. Right. Now.

I can feel him blending with me, his soul with mine, his heart bleeding along. The kiss is anything but gentle. It's passion and pain mingled together to give me the most exquisite of sensations. Completion that I'm finally accepting the real him.

The lover and the cheater. The man... and the monster.

Everything I have left.

Lasting no longer than a flicker of a butterfly's wings, that moment is broken by Cole's hands clamped over my elbows. One Alpha drags me away from another.

I can see the light in those green eyes, the beast lurking underneath as the man watches me, his lips barely containing the screams. Missing my touch, my hands around him, his own embracing me.

Will he turn to her now? Will he plead for me again?

I struggle under the steel hold, crying out both in fear and disgust that he has his dirty paws on me, wishing I could rip them off.

You need to leave, Scarlet!
 Regan shouts into my mind, whatever spell he has been under - now broken as his voice carries the warmth into our bond. 

A single light in a world of darkness.

Despair is all over his face, his body shaking with his suppressed anger to have the self-proclaimed Alpha's hands on me, like a rag doll ready to be thrown to the wolves.

I'm not leaving you,
 I tell him kicking my captor, nails scratching anywhere I can reach. 

I can't let you do this,
 I say when what I want to tell him is, 'I can't let you go. You're the only one I have left now. I can't lose everything again. Mate or not, I can't lose you too.'

"Scarlet, be still!" It's Cole's voice that utters the command and it isn't. This is not my friend. He's not the man I thought he was.

Turning towards him, he doesn't look like my friend either. His face is unreadable but now I can see that darkness inside him. Hiving under his skin, how did I miss it for so long?

"Don't make this more difficult for you than it already is, Scarlet," he threatens. "Don't let Regan's sacrifice for you go to waste."

"Fuck you, Cole!" I spit out, ripping away from him and going back to stand next to Regan.

Tension is oozing out of him as he measures up the other man. Body shifting in a preparation for his attack, 
This is your chance, Scarlet. Be ready to run. On my signal, you run and never look back, you hear me, love? 
he says to me, placing a hand across my middle, trying to push me behind him.

Shaking my head, 
I don't want to. I can't.

Please, I don't want you here when all hell breaks loose. There are things I haven't told you. We can't win... I can't have you here, Scarlet. Please... Just go and never look back. I'll try to hold him for as long as I can. 
I can hear it in his voice. A conviction that's mirrored on his face.

It's hopeless.

"It's disrespectful of the two of you to have a private conversation when we're all here waiting for you," Cole chuckles but I ignore him.

We can fight him and the wildlings. We can try-

No, he's more dangerous than you think,
 Regan cuts me off, a look of regret crossing his face before he turns his vigilant gaze back to Cole. 

We can fight together--

And then we will die together. I want... no, I need you to live, Scarlet. Do you understand what I'm telling you?

I close my eyes for just a second, thinking about his words, thinking about what they mean, thinking about all that has happened - why did it happen, and then I think of everything that could have been but never will.

On my signal, you run. Promise me!
  

Giving him the slightest nod, in that moment I hate myself more than ever before.  

Now!
 he shouts, lunging at Cole, his war cry more feral than I've ever heard him as he shifts parts of his body mid-jump.

Captured by the terrifying sight of my mate turning into half-man and half-beast, I take a moment to admire the creature colliding with the other male before gathering all my strength to do what I know I have to do.

Cole has been right. This is a night of choices and, at last, I have to do mine.

Live and die on this night?

I should have never run away. I should have accepted it and never interfered with the Moon's workings. Never left this pack. Never defied him in the first place.

Live and die on this night?

Run, my love. Run and be safe. 
Desperation in his voice, war shifting his muscles, fur covering flesh and claws growing underneath the skin, he's fighting for life, just not his own.

Wolves that have been offered to betray their Alpha are finally taking a stand against what they deem to be wrong. Choosing love. Choosing trust. Choosing hope in place of the death he has offered.

Wolves that are more human than the monsters who never show their true faces beneath the fur, bodies colliding with bodies, greater in number but lesser in strength... 

Why are they fighting a losing battle? Why are they hoping to change an outcome that has already been decided?

I move like I imagine the damned do, cursed. Distancing myself from the fight, trying to place one foot in front of another without stumbling, blocking the cries of the pack, blocking the bond that's vibrating like a played string every time he takes a hit.

Swirling back, all I can see in front of me is that path of darkness, feel nothing but the blood staining my skin, sticking to my palms.

Why is this happening to us? 

I'm running into the fight instead of away from it, breaking a promise that was never spoken aloud and I feel like it's me. Bad luck. Poison.

Live or die on this night.