Moonlight and Diamonds & The Vampire's Fall (37 page)

Yeah. This was getting too deep too fast. Right? But he was encouraging her. And the feel of her hand running down his abs and so close...

He gripped her wrist. “I think with you, slow would be a good idea.”

She pouted.

Damn it, why was he so conflicted about this?

Then she sniffed. “You smell so good. I think you're warming up. At least...” She glanced down to the towel. “Some part of you is.”

She was not going to let up. Nor did he want her to. This thing with Zen was different than his usual encounters with women who were intent on one thing. Much as she was also that intent, he sensed a playfulness in her that he'd never had the opportunity to experience with other women.

“I want you, Zen,” he honestly declared. “I just don't want you to feel—”

“Rushed? Oh, no, I don't feel that way at all. Blade, I want to have sex with you. I mean, like...a lot.” She hugged him. “We're not moving too quickly. Oh.” Her fingers stroked across his back curiously.

He knew what she was doing and cringed.

“What is that?” She peered up at him. “Feels like a scar. Lots of them. Can I look?”

That she had asked and hadn't brazenly ducked under his arm to gawk meant the world to Blade. It was the part of him that reminded him he had wronged a woman. The part he wanted to forget. And yet, he couldn't move forward with Zen and continue to hide.

He nodded. “I don't want to talk about the reason for the scars tonight, but you can look.”

She kissed him, bowed her forehead to his lips, then slipped around behind him and spread her hands across his back. At her soft, exploratory touch, Blade sucked in a hiss. Eighteen scars in all. A one-night stand had counted them for him one evening. She'd been too drunk to care what they had come from and had accepted his lie about a farming accident.

In truth, every one of them had come from a demon talon.

“This makes me sad,” she said quietly. “Aren't vampires supposed to heal fast?”

“Demon talons have poison in them. Counteracts the healing process.”

“Demons,” she whispered. He'd not intended to tell her that. It was too easy to relax with Zen.

And then the gentlest kiss landed on one of those scars, and he shivered. His muscles tightened and his heart trembled. It wasn't from the lingering chill of an unholy angel, but rather the promise of something he feared more than the pain. Connection. Goddess, but it reduced him to something he wasn't familiar with.

Something that felt better than he could ever imagine.

“I will treat you with care,” Zen said. “Because you deserve it.”

A kiss to one of the scars branded him with innocent kindness. And then another, and then she moved around in front of him, took his hand and led him into the bedroom.

They fell onto the bed in a tumble of sighs and kisses, strokes and moans. Zen's skin, fire under his palms, coaxed him closer, deeper, toward something so innocent. Untouchable.

Yet he held her now, and wasn't about to let go.

Gliding his tongue along her arm, he aimed toward the cream-colored markings, slipping a wet trail over the arabesques, and then toward her shoulder. He kissed her there. And there. And at the base of her jaw, and then her open mouth. She gasped into him, exhaling sweet breath. Giving to him.

“Zen,” he whispered. A prayer. A sonnet to her beauty. Simply a name. Not even her name. But it fit her. And him.

Her hand glided down his abs and landed over his crotch. She cooed and nudged up her hip. “That feels interesting.”

He would give her interesting. He tugged the towel loose and she eagerly tore it away from his hips. Before he could resume kissing her, she'd grabbed hold of his cock.

“Wow, it's so hard and hot.”

He growled and bowed his head to her breast. “That feels good when you give it a squeeze. Mmm, and that firm stroking. Oh, Zen...”

She took to the exploratory touching with a zest that didn't surprise Blade at all. She was a curious woman. And for that, he would not complain.

As she continued to squeeze and stretch and stroke him, he kissed her breasts and teased her nipples with his tongue. She hadn't developed a rhythm but she didn't need to. Her awkward play was actually making him harder and increasing his breaths. She squirmed and hummed a satisfied tone. A supple explorer lay beside him. It felt so different from any encounter with a woman he'd had previously. This felt real.

“I trust you, Blade.”

Though he'd heard it before, that statement meant a lot to him coming from a woman who had no solid grasp on her life. She needed to trust someone. And she trusted him. So he would treat her as the precious entity she was.

Feathering his fingers down her breast and tweaking her nipple to the accompaniment of her grateful moan, he then glided his fingertips over her stomach and parted her legs. She was warm and wet. So ready for him. Her hands bracketed his head, luring him to her breasts. He kissed them both, suckling them while he fingered her teasingly.

“So many sensations,” she said on a gasp.

“You overwhelmed?” he asked.

She shook her head. “My heart is racing. Every part of me tingles in the coolest way. Your kisses feel like the best thing ever. And what you're doing with your fingers... Don't stop, Blade. Please, don't stop.”

“I won't. I want to be inside you, Zen. You ready for that?”

She gripped the head of his cock and guided him between her legs. “Yes.”

He entered her slowly, steadily. The tight squeeze of her made it difficult not to come immediately, but he was determined to give her pleasure first before he came and then just wanted to roll over and fall asleep.

She murmured next to his ear that he was so remarkable. Fingers clutching at his shoulders and back, she tilted back her head as his thrusts grew faster, deeper. She hadn't cried out, as if a virgin, but that meant little. All women were different. There was no real way to know if she had done this before.

Didn't matter. She was here in his arms, and he had been gifted her trust.

“Oh...” Zen gasped, her hands dropping away from him as her body shuddered. “That's...” The orgasm shivered her body minutely beneath him. A smile curled onto her lips.

And Blade felt as if an angel had just fallen into his life.

Chapter 17

Z
en woke in the black bedroom, which was more a slate gray thanks to the morning light beaming through the window. The forest was close, and a mosaic of leaves shifted in the soft breeze. She pulled the sheet up to her neck and tucked her legs against the heat lying beside her. And then she realized she was lying next to Blade and stretched down her legs so she could snuggle along the length of him.

And some other length suddenly bobbed against her belly.

She murmured in satisfaction. “I like that guy.”

“He likes you” came a voice from under the sheet. He tugged it down and leaned in to kiss her through the hair spilled over his face. She swept it away to reveal one gray eye. “Morning. Would you mind pulling the shade? Vamps aren't keen on bright light so early in the day.”

“Of course.” She slipped out of bed and pulled the shade, reducing the room to a subtle darkness save for a glimmer of light sneaking in on either side of the shade. “Better?”

“Much. Come back to me.”

She slid into bed, and he pulled her up against his body, then moved on top of her, supporting himself with his elbows and a knee. Pressing kisses to her breasts, he lingered in tasting her, feeling her, holding his ear against her chest to listen to her heartbeats.

“Do I sound normal?” she asked.

“I hope not. There's something so wrong about normal. On the other hand, normal is in the eye of the beholder, yes?”

“Like being an amnesia chick?”

“Yep. For me being vampire with wings is normal. My brothers find being werewolf normal. So who is to say what your normal is?”

“I do know not remembering isn't normal.”

“If you are or were an angel, maybe the not-remembering part is all part of the plan?”

She screwed up her lips in thought. “Vampires and werewolves sound a lot easier to me. If your father is werewolf, and I think you mentioned your mother is faery, how did you manage the vampire part?”

“My grandfather. He is married to a werewolf. They had twins, Kambriel and Malakai. Kam's a vamp. Dad's the wolf. Grandpa's bloodsucking genes just happened to show up in me.”

“Do you regret not being werewolf like your siblings?”

“No. I've known nothing else. And I've never been made to feel I was different. Besides, Kelyn is full faery. If there's a weirdo in our family, it's my little brother.” He chuckled and nuzzled his face between her breasts for a kiss. “But you know I like weirdoes.”

“You're a weirdo, too,” Zen said. “You're quiet and dark. It's because of these, isn't it?” She ran her fingers over the scars on his back that wrapped around to his sides. “Tell me about them. Please?”

She felt his fingers glide between her legs. “Later,” he murmured. “Right now I want to delve into you.”

He moved down on the bed, kissing her stomach, her hip, her thighs, until he kissed her deeply between her moist folds.

Zen squirmed and reached down to thread her fingers through his silken hair. She wasn't quite sure what he was doing with his tongue, but she didn't require an explanation. It was marvelous.

* * *

Blade watched Zen wander to the window to pull up the shade. Those waves of copper hair glinted like metal when the sun embraced her silhouette, as if she was some kind of goddess.

Or an angel.

“She was a demon,” he suddenly said.

Sitting up on the bed, he smoothed a hand over the wrinkled sheet draped across his lap. The sun wasn't too bright on this north side of the barn. His skin wouldn't burn unless he endured prolonged exposure to direct rays. And the faery part of him provided added protection that most vamps didn't have and without which would see them running for the shade long before he did.

Zen spun around. “She?”

“The woman from my past who is the reason why I like to keep my distance from other women. The reason for these scars on my back.”

“Oh.” She planted a kiss on his forehead. Stroking his hair over a shoulder, she smiled warmly upon him. “You've kind of shot that need for distance to hell with us, eh?”

He kissed the top of her breast. “It was worth the risk.”

“Risk? Right. You thought I could be demon. Or worse, an angel.”

“I still don't know what you are.”

“But she was demon. This woman from your past? And...things did not go well with her, I take it?”

He shoved down the sheets and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Patting the bed, he waited for her to sit beside him. The heat of her body was as blessed as spring rain. Every part of him shivered and joined together to embrace the goodness he'd been gifted by Zen's presence.

And because of that, he owed her his truth. She deserved to know him. Good, bad and so terrible.

“Her name was Octavia. I met her in the springtime. Midnight, at a local drive-in movie theater that was still open. It shows classics once a month and the whole town attends. She was wearing a yellow dress and flashed me a fanged smile. I thought she was vampire. She even gave off the telltale shimmer that we vamps feel when we touch another of our kind.”

“What's that feel like?” she asked, hugging against his side.

“It's sort of a tickle with an electric-shock kick. But not as strong as when you walk across a carpet and touch metal. It's a
knowing
, is the best way to put it.”

She placed her hand on his thigh and, tilting her head aside his shoulder, silently entreated him to continue.

“We had an affair,” he said. “Brief. Heated. I fell fast for her. That happens with me. If I like a woman, there's usually no going back.”

He peered into Zen's bright azure eyes and saw worlds beyond his comprehension. And he liked it there. Lost in her world. He didn't desire to go back now that he had ventured in.

Yeah, so he fell hard and fast. He was a wimp when it came to love.

“I had no idea she was toying with me. Gaining my trust. Grooming me for something unspeakable.”

The spill of her hair over his skin lightened his darkening mood. Yet at the same time, it reminded him that he held a woman, and women tended to be tricky. But how to trick him when she didn't even know herself?

“I wanted to bond with her. Vampires do that by sharing the bite and blood. It's a way of taking a mate. For life.”

He let that settle in. Because yes, he'd thought to love her that much. Had thought he could spend the rest of his life with her. Once, love had been a marvelous thing to him. Something to value, to desire.

“She was my first real love. Or so I thought. So I bit her. If she had been merely vampire she would have responded with a bite. We'd not bitten each other before. And in fact, when I'd brought it up she had always said she wanted to save it for the bonding. Which is why I knew she would accept my bite. Anyway...”

He pressed his hands to his knees and exhaled, taking a moment to fortify his courage. Did the scars burn? No, it was his imagination. But memory burned deep into his being.

“My faery wanted to get in on the action as well, so my wings unfurled. And in that moment, with my fangs embedded in her neck, she let out a blood-curdling howl and shifted into her demonic shape. That was the first time I suspected she was half demon. I didn't even consider she could be completely demon. I was stunned. Felt betrayed. But still, I wanted to love her, to believe she'd merely forgotten to tell me her truth.

“But then she started to spasm and react to the bite. Because while vampires can bite demons and come away with nothing more than a nasty mouthful of black blood, vampires who are also part faery really work a number on demons. Faery ichor can poison demons. And she got a good mouthful of my faery saliva. She screamed that she was
mimicus
, a breed of demon that is capable of mimicking other breeds.

“I freaked out. I didn't know what to do. So I took her home. Waiting for her was her entire denizen. They were oddly pleased to see me, and didn't give Octavia much attention. And...they were wearing protective armor. It didn't occur to me until later what it would protect them from. They moved in on me swiftly. While I was stricken by what I had done to her, I learned that she had been toying with me. A demon trying to lure a vampire into the denizen so they could have their way with me. But she had no idea what the rest of her denizen knew—that I was part faery.

“What happened next I could have never anticipated.”

He spread his fingers over Zen's hand, clasping it tightly against his chest. Heartbeats raced and his skin was clammy. An inhale; gasped breath. Difficult not to fall back into that feeling of danger even though he knew it was long past.

“They tortured me. I don't know how long. Days? Weeks? Felt like forever. And that armor I'd wondered over? It protected the demons from my ichor-tainted blood. All the while, the leader kept bringing Octavia out to show me that she was slowly dying. That hurt me more than any talon to my heart could have. The denizen could have saved her. Could have used demonic magic to force the faery taint from her system, or even witch magic, but they didn't. They let her suffer. And I couldn't do anything to help her because at times I was stretched out on a rack being clawed and beaten and burned.”

Zen shivered against him.

“At other times I was free to fend off the dozens of monsters who came at me tearing at my skin and muscles and digging their talons in deep.”

She spread a hand over his back. “These are from that torture.”

He nodded. “The scars mean nothing. What haunts me is that I couldn't help her. That she was a sacrifice merely for the denizen's twisted penchant for torturing others. No woman should be treated that way. Just left to die. And she wouldn't have died had I not bitten her. She received a small amount of faery taint, which was why it took her so long to die. It was my fault. And, Zen...” He breathed in deeply. “I loved her.”

She hugged him so tightly he felt her heartbeats match the pace of his own. Rib to rib, skin to skin. Pulse to pulse. It was too wondrous. Did he deserve this woman?

“I'm sorry, Blade. You shouldn't have had to face that. But if she was lying to you...”

“Yes, she was tricking me, toying with me. It hurts my heart to admit that. But still, it was no reason to allow her to die.”

“You're right. You are an honorable man. You wouldn't wish pain on anyone.”

Yes, well. She did not know he wanted to slay all the demons now. And the more painful their demise the better.

She hugged him and just let him be still. The silence did not feel heavy or awkward. His breathing was calm yet his heartbeats ran. He'd just revealed a part of himself he had kept locked and sealed. That he had trusted her enough to reveal that was immense. She would honor his trust.

“What can I do?” she asked. “To make this easier for you to bear?”

“Just listening is good. I...don't normally do this. Spill my guts. But I thought you should know. She was demon, Zen. And with us being uncertain what, exactly, you are...”

“I understand. You don't want to make the leap to complete trust with me. You can't. I respect that.”

“I trust you. I just don't know what you are. And...you should also know I made a deal with a stranger to kill the demons in the area.”

“What?”

“He came to me in the Darkwood not long before I met you. Said the demons are rising, increasing their numbers. He asked me to annihilate them. At first I refused. But after slaying the demons who would have gone after you, I agreed to help. Innocent humans could be harmed. They all need to die, Zen.”

She pulled away and turned to sit facing him. She ran a shaky hand over her hair. “I, uh, don't know what to say to that.”

“I'm sorry.”

And if she was a demon? His declaration that all demons needed to die went against his conviction to save the one demon who had tricked him into the torture into the first place.

If he had saved her, then how could he conceive of slaying so many others?

“I don't feel as if I am demon,” Zen felt it necessary to state. “But then, I don't feel as if I am anything in particular.” She spied the bowie knife lying on the floor beside Blade's combat boots and lunged to grab it. “Cut me,” she said, handing him the blade. “I want to check again.”

He took the knife and she held out her palm to him. “Don't worry. I'll heal.”

Without a word, he drew the knife tip across her skin. Black blood bubbled up, then spilled in clear, glinting streams down the side of her hand before hitting the black bed sheet.

“No more blue,” she said in awe.

“But still black,” he offered.

“But then it turned clear. That's ichor, isn't it?”

He nodded. “It could be anything.”

“Becoming.” She whispered the word the witch had used. “What do you think I will become?”

He clasped her hand and kissed the back of it. “My ally,” he said.

“Not in the fight against demons. I don't think... I don't want to be a part of that destruction. But I can stand by your side.”

“How about you simply be my friend?”

“Really? You're willing to let me be a friend?”

“Actually, I think we've gone beyond that. What with the sex.”

She glided a hand down his back. “You are an amazing lover, Blade. And to be honest, I think that was my first time.”

He tilted a look at her. “Could have been. No regrets?”

“Never. I'd love to do it again. Anytime you're willing.”

“Is that so?”

She nodded.

Blade twisted and pushed her back against the pillows. “How about a good-morning shag?”

“Does shag mean sex?”

“It does.”

“I'm in.”