Moonlight and Diamonds & The Vampire's Fall (39 page)

Chapter 20

B
lade grabbed the newly purchased tools out of the truck bed and carried them up to Stryke's work shed. His brother wasn't around, which was a good thing. Blade's mind was anywhere but in the moment. It was still back in the alleyway, shoved up against the wall by that arrogant demon.

Kesabel? Did he know someone, anyone, who had knowledge of demons and who might tell him something about the pale intruder? Maybe Dez, who studied diabology, could help him?

None of that mattered right now. Zen was destined to become a demon queen? That was twenty ways wrong. She'd fallen from Above with the intention of being crowned queen.

So why was he trying to stop that from happening?

Because until now he hadn't known it was supposed to go down that way. And now that he did, what would he do? Would it be fair to Zen to force her to become something she had no knowledge of agreeing to? Maybe being crowned the Casiphean queen would bring back her memory?

Only one thing mattered. Zen was destined to become demon. And that trumped all.

He'd opened his home and his life to a woman who was demon. Or who was supposed to become demon. But according to Kesabel, if she remained in this realm for much longer she could instead become faery.

He set the skill saw on a workbench and decided against leaving Stryke a note. His brother would figure things out when he saw the tools. Hopping back into the rusty old white Ford he'd driven because his usual ride did indeed need a new radiator, Blade shifted into gear, but didn't take his foot off the brake pedal. “Ah, hell, I forgot.”

He was supposed to meet Zen at Panera. And... He glanced at the dashboard clock. He was an hour late.

He tugged out his cell phone, then remembered she didn't have a phone. Nor did she know her real name. Neither did she know her wicked destiny.

Gripping the steering wheel he squeezed.

Could he tell her? Had he a right to tell her? What if he kept this information to himself? He could continue to slay any demon that went near Zen and take out the occasional angel, as well. She'd never have to know.

As long as she never got back her memory.

“Stupid,” he muttered, and shifted into gear, letting the truck roll down the gravel road. The two of them had started something. A relationship of sorts. Maybe? He'd been firm about not being friends with her. Look what had come of that.

It was a relationship. And that bond demanded truth and trust. “I have to tell her.”

And then it would be up to Zen to decide which direction her future would move—toward continuing the relationship with him, or toward Daemonia.

Blade knew what he wanted her to decide. He didn't want to hope, either, but somewhere along the line he'd fallen for the woman. Fangs, wings and heart.

* * *

Pulling into the garage beneath the loft, Blade was relieved to see Zen's Mini parked outside. Of course, he had invited her to stay with him. She had nowhere else to go.

He'd invited a demon queen to stay with him. What. The. Hell?

And she would probably be angry. He had stood her up for lunch.

So the best way to do this, he decided as he strode up the stairs, was to blurt out everything he had to say right away. Distract her from his mistake of being late. Make it all about her. Because it was.

This situation had become all about her in all the wrong ways.

He couldn't think about it that way. She deserved compassion and understanding. And probably a place to sit and a shoulder to cry on after he revealed her truth. He could do that. He wanted to do that. Because Zen meant something to him. And yet the thought to push her away was strong.

He smelled something savory as he topped the stairs and Oogie scampered up to curl about his ankle. She was cooking again? This could not end well.

Bending to give the attention-starved feline a scratch at the base of his spine, Blade scooped up the purring cat and wandered toward the kitchen. Zen pulled a couple bowls out of the microwave oven. Oogie didn't even flinch when he entered the kitchen. Had the two come to some kind of understanding?

She spied him. “Oh, hi! I'm so sorry, but I missed our date.”

“Uh, you did?”

Oogie squirmed in his grasp so he let the now-nervous cat drop to the floor to race out of the room. Did the cat know what she really was? Oogie liked demons less than Blade did. Hell, Oogie had known all along. What an idiot he had been not to pay more attention to his pet's discomfort around her.

“So we missed our date. But you brought home supper?” he asked.

“As an apology. I was so busy shopping—I really like shopping. And I got this!” She shifted her hip forward to display the rhinestone-encrusted belt wrapped around her pink sundress. The woman did love to sparkle. “Anyway, the time slipped away from me. It's baked potato soup with bacon and cheese. Doesn't that sound delicious? And I didn't cook it. It's from the restaurant, so it's safe. Oh! Guess what?”

“I, uh...”

She wasn't angry. She was just her usual, gorgeous, bright self. Completely unaware. And always trying to please him, of all things.

“Zen, we need to talk. I learned something today—”

“So did I.” She set the bowls on the counter and took his hand. “I rescued a baby.”

“You—what?” This conversation was all over the place. Blade needed to give her the truth about herself. Before he chickened out and decided to keep it to himself. “Listen, Zen, there's something you should know.”

“Exactly.” She beamed up at him, her eyes as bright as rhinestones. “I
do
know. Blade, after I rescued the baby, I experienced this weird zinging jolt to my head. And then...”

“And then?”

“I remembered.” She grabbed his hands and bounced with giddy glee. “I know who I am.”

Chapter 21

H
er eyes were emerald, Blade realized. Not kaleidoscope, as would be an angel's eyes. Nor were they red, as would be a demon's eyes. Not even violet, indicative of the sidhe. And she stood...straighter. With more poise than he had noted up to this point. She exuded well-being and a certain strength. Confidence. Not to mention the effusive joy that spilled from her like sunshine.

She had come into herself. Because she had remembered. And Blade found himself walking up to her to be close, a part of her excitement, and yet, at the same time, his heart cringed and dropped.

She knew.

Would she walk away from him now? Go on to become a demon queen? The thought was revolting to him. But was it more because of the idea of losing someone who was a species he hated or whom he was starting to care about?

She took his hands and was literally bouncing on her toes. “I fell,” she said. “And I am meant to be the Casiphean queen.”

Yep, she knew it all. Damn. He'd lost this one. But had she ever been his? Did it matter to him?

Yes. Damn it, yes. She'd touched his scars. She'd kissed them. Had accepted him.

“So you know that you were once an angel?” he asked.

She nodded. “I fell with a purpose. Or so I assume. I know who I was and that I fell to become a queen, but there's some fuzzy stuff in there, too. It'll probably come back to me slowly. Or who knows? Maybe it'll pop back into my head if I have another harrowing moment like the one with the baby.”

“The baby?”

“I saved a baby from being hit by a car. I think, in that moment, with my heart pumping and my body out of sorts, is when it all returned. Anyway, I know there is a denizen of demons awaiting their queen.”

“And...you're eager to join them?”

“Well.” She squeezed his hand and settled her enthusiasm. “I know how you feel about demons. I'm so sorry to give you this news.”

“No, that's okay.” It was far from okay, but he wasn't going to spoil her good mood. He had no right. “My only goal was to help you get your memory back. Now you have it. What happens next...” No, he couldn't tell her what he wanted to happen next. “You gotta do what you gotta do.”

“And so do you. Which is slaying demons. Does that mean you're going to slay me now?”

“Don't be ridiculous.” He crossed his arms over his chest. Yeah, put up a shield. Easier that way. “You still bleeding ichor as well as the black stuff?”

“Not sure. Do you want to check again?”

“No, that's uh...”

Words felt wrong. He could never harm her. But could she really walk away from him and put on a demon crown like a pretty accessory? Never looking back at what could have been?

What could have been with him. Ah, hell, he'd gone and started caring for this woman. Just like before.

And just like before, she was demon.

But at least this time he had advance warning of her nature. Not that it would do his hurting heart any good. The damage had been done.

She'd touched him.

“Blade.” She stroked his hair and caressed his cheek. He almost pulled away, but then he realized if he did, he might be pulling away from the last touch she would ever give him. “What we've started? I like it. The sex. The sharing and companionship. The trust.”

Trust was everything. And now he could not trust her.

Or could he?

“But I've always had it in the back of my mind that you would never commit to me,” she continued. “Because you couldn't be sure what I was.”

“And now I know.”

“And it's not your favorite species in the world. Well. I'm not demon yet. Right now I'm sort of in the middle. Becoming, like the witch said. I could become faery if I stayed here on the mortal realm.”

“But you won't do that because you have a goal. A destiny.”

“Yes. Destiny.” She sighed. Her giddy smile did not escape his notice. But she saw him looking at her and pulled on a straight face. “You're upset. Do you... Blade, do you care about me?”

If he lied he'd lose her. If he told the truth, his heart would break. He didn't like either option.

She bracketed his head, slipping her fingers through his hair, and kissed him. Urgently. Deeply. Forever. And it felt as though he was falling alongside an angel swiftly plummeting from Above. Her wings enveloped him and he felt safe—yet leery. He didn't want either of them to land. Could he stop this fall and keep her in a free fall forever?

He wrapped his hands around her back and pulled her in. What luck that the second time he should find someone to care about she turned out to be another demon. Did the gods have something against him? Was he never meant to be happy?

Don't think about it. Take this kiss
. Remember it. Never forget the intensity of it. The soft regard of it. The knowing that it was more right than any kiss he'd ever had before.

Take the fall
.

Because Zen made him realize that it didn't matter what you were but who you were. What went on in your thoughts, and how you responded to the actions of others. To arrogantly assume that all demons should die simply because one group of them had hurt him? How dare he? He wasn't making the world a better place. He was harming it. Demon by demon.

Blade stood back, still holding Zen's head between his hands. He pressed his forehead to hers. He wanted to ask her, to beg her to stay. To be his. To be the demon he could welcome without judgment.

To be his woman.

But something kept that want from leaping free.

She pulled his hands from her head, and as she lowered them, he reluctantly dropped their connection. “I'm heading to the club tonight,” she said. “You know, the place with the portal.”

Whoa. She was moving fast. And with a determination that felt similar to when he'd been going after demons.

“There's just one thing,” she said, and she turned to pick up the halo from the couch. “I'm not sure why I held on to this. Like I said, some things are fuzzy. But it'll be a nice souvenir, I guess. I'll see if I can take it with me.”

So it was as easy as that for her? Memory returned. Back to her mission. Leave the vampire standing in the lurch.

Of course it had to be that easy.

“What's wrong, Blade?”

“I, uh...” Sighing out his apprehension, Blade pulled back his shoulders and blurted out what had to be said, “I talked to Kesabel earlier today.”

“Kesabel?”

“You don't know that name?” Shouldn't she know the leader of the demon denizen she was to eventually help repopulate? Although, he wasn't sure if Kesabel was the leader. He had named himself lord of the Casipheans. Whatever that meant. “He's demon. The Casiphean agent come to this realm to ensure you complete your journey to Daemonia.”

“Oh. So you knew? Why didn't you say anything?”

“I was going to, but you and your happy bouncing feet beat me to it.”

She nodded. Bounced once more. “It's pretty cool, isn't it?”

No. Not cool at all.

“You betcha. Cool. Are you sure about this, Zen? I mean, you don't even know these demons. And to become their queen... That's a big commitment.”

“Oh, listen to you, the master of avoiding commitment.”

That snarky response slapped Blade across the face as if her hand had done it. He touched his cheek, because the feeling was that palpable. “I suppose you did want this. It's why you fell.”

She nodded. “I can't say why I want this, but if I made the fall it must have been for good reason. So you want some soup?”

Soup? What the— On to a new tangent when he was still drowning in the reality of her truth? Blade shoved his hands into his jeans' pockets. “I'm not hungry. But thanks for thinking of me.”

“Then, I should probably get going. Things to do before I leave. I was going to donate the car to a homeless shelter. Would that be okay?”

She had really thought this through. “Great idea.” He forced on a smile.

“Then, I'll be seeing you!”

She grabbed the backpack by the fridge and headed toward the stairs. Blade couldn't bring himself to call out to her, to ask her to reconsider. To stay. To stop the fall to Daemonia.

She had a mission. He had no right to stop her.

And he had made the fall—only to crash, wings splayed and heart completely shattered.

* * *

Zen drove mindlessly toward town. The birch trees lining the gravel road shushed by like slats on a fence and revealed open field at the stop where she turned left and drove toward Tangle Lake.

She'd had to leave Blade's place quickly. And without lingering in that incredible kiss. A kiss that had felt like falling. A good kind of falling. But to stay and draw out her exit would have killed her.

Why had she had to remember that she was waited for by an entire demon race? That they needed her to take her place as their queen? To marry and repopulate a dying breed. She'd not told Blade that part. He wouldn't have taken it lightly.

“I'm a queen?” she muttered. And then with the pride it instilled within her, she announced, “I'm a queen. That's cool. Right? Queens get crowns. I could so rock a crown.”

Her fingers curved tightly about the steering wheel as anxiety reared up. “Why?” she asked. She didn't want to lead a denizen of demons. Or an entire race. She didn't need the crown. She just wanted to stand in Blade's arms and know he loved her.

But she'd had to leave. Because he'd never said he loved her.

The man—vampire, faery—had just been helping her to get her memory back. A man who had been hurt in the past because he had loved a demoness. There was no way she could expect him to accept her truth now.

She had lost him.

As much as she'd wanted to stay, leaving had been her only option.

She touched her mouth, trying to remember the irrepressible heat of his kiss. Too quickly it faded. She couldn't remember his mouth against hers. She needed that feeling back!

Slowing at a stop sign at the entry to town, she shifted into Park and bowed her head against the steering wheel.

“I don't want to do this.”

But she had been destined to this. By falling she had taken on the task, had agreed to this monumental undertaking. She mustn't disappoint the Casipheans. For if she did, might she risk their anger and a rage of demons storming this mortal realm?

If Blade thought he could take out the few demons that tread this earth now, he'd never be able to handle an entire rage. She had to do this. To save Blade.