Morgan, Nicole - Intimate Confessions [Intimate Temptations 2] (Siren Publishing Allure) (18 page)

“Oh well, yeah, there is that, so I can see how hard it must be on you.”

His tone was sarcastic, so she gave him a little slug in his stomach. “Next time tell me you’re leaving? At least until I stop being so nervous?”

She knew it was a ridiculous and juvenile request, but she didn’t care. There were no words to describe the fear she felt when after waking up, she realized he was gone, again.

“Okay, babe, if that’s what it’s going to take to believe I won’t leave, I’ll do it. Sooner or later though, you’re going to just start having faith in me. Faith in us.”

He sealed his promise to her with a kiss and gave her a hard smack on the ass. One of many she’d received since the locker room. So many, in fact, she wondered if it was for her pleasure or his because he sure seemed to enjoy it.

“Now you go see if you can figure out how this thing we call clothing works. I’m going to run to the kitchen and grab us something to drink. I’m guessing wine for m’lady?” He winked as he asked.

She couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear at how sweet he was. “Actually, I think I’ll have whatever my man is having.”

With raised eyebrows, he answered, “Oh, broadening your horizons are you? Okay, beer it is then.”

He gave her a quick peck on the nose and left. She watched him leave. She never tired of looking at his butt in a pair of jeans. He really was the sexiest man she had ever come across in her life.

Surveying her reflection in the mirror, she was amused with how ridiculous she did look. It was no wonder he was laughing at her. She slid her shorts off and walked to the dresser, deciding panties were meant to be worn, not sit in her drawer. She finished dressing and gave her reflection an exasperated look. Her hair was a mess, and she had zero makeup on her face.

“Well, aren’t you the sight. A sad one.”

She hurried to the bathroom and reached for her small makeup bag with one hand as the other turned on the warm water. Quickly, she washed her face and ran her wet fingers through her hair to be followed up by a quick brushing. Tilting her head upside down and bunching her hair between her two hands, she put her ponytail holder in and pulled the ends through. It wasn’t a supermodel look, but it was better than having her hair shooting off in twenty different directions as though she’d just stuck her finger in a light socket. She put on a tiny line of eye makeup and gave her lashes a couple swipes with her mascara. Again, she reminded herself that while she wouldn’t grace any magazine covers with her look, at least she was not going to scare the man she loved.

“Woman? What the hell are you doing in there? Get out here and eat. I’m starving.”

She couldn’t help but smile from the immense happiness she felt of hearing him talk to her in such a domestic way.

“Coming, dear.”

She walked into the next room and saw him sitting on the bed, his motions were frozen as though he was about to take a bite, but then stopped.

“What’s wrong?”

“Coming? No, sweetie, believe me, you’ll know when that happens.”

She rolled her eyes, laughing, reached for a slice, and took the biggest bite she could. She’d barely eaten in days and suddenly was famished.

It was nearly an hour later when Derek fell back on the bed after letting out a very loud belch. He unfastened the top button to his jeans and let out a big breath while holding his stomach.

Sandi picked up the paper plates and napkins and carried them to the trash can before heading to the bathroom to wash her hands. Warmth filled her heart looking at him lying there. He was miserable from eating too much and looked like the stereotypical suburban man unbuttoning his pants after a big meal, but to her she’d never seen anything so wonderful. Her thoughts wandered to images of him as they got older. She could envision him leaning back in his chair at the kitchen table after eating a big Thanksgiving dinner.

He looked over at her then and winked. “What are you smiling at? Don’t be laughing at me. I ate a lot. Someone had to. Your measly two pieces were nothing compared to the six I ate.”

She rolled her eyes while grinning, “Oh yes, I know. I stopped myself when I got full. I didn’t realize you were training for an eating competition though.”

“Shut it, woman! That pie was delicious and wanted to be eaten! Its sole purpose in life is to have someone chew and relish every single bite. To not eat it would have been an insult not just to the chef but to the pizza! I did it for the pizza, baby. See how generous your man is?” He was practically laughing at himself as he got out the last words.

“Oh my goodness, I never realized just how selfless you were.”

She was mocking him, but it was all in good fun. Just to be here with him laughing and living life together was like a heaven on earth. Sitting beside him, she took his hand in hers and intertwined their fingers together.

“Thank you.”

He didn’t answer but brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it.

“This is just the beginning for us.”

For some reason, she found herself completely believing him. No. Not just him, but his words, not the promises he was making, but truly believing that this was the beginning of a very long life filled with nothing but happiness for them. Somehow she knew that nothing would be able to tear them apart after they’d found a way into each other’s arms again.

“Derek?”

His eyes were closed, and one arm was rested behind his head. “Yeah, babe?”

“What we talked about earlier, in the locker room? Did that bother you? And please, before you answer, be completely honest with me. I will be the first person to admit that sometimes, sexually, I don’t know what takes over me. I just get lost, and all of these crazy and insane ideas fly into my head.”

“Sandi, why are they insane? Because society and people like your parents would tell you that sort of behavior is unacceptable?”

“I don’t know. I suppose maybe that’s why.”

“Well, forgive me for saying this, sweetheart, but your parents and society as a whole are all pretty fucked up.”

She nodded in agreement.

“Seriously, why would God give you a body that feels good with certain things if you weren’t supposed to enjoy it?”

“I guess that’s what I don’t understand. Why do I enjoy things that go against what we’re taught?”

He raised his brows at her. “What we’re taught? Is this about you telling me you wanted another man to join us?”

“Yes,” she answered softly. She wished it wasn’t something she wanted.

“Baby, do you have any idea how many men in the Bible had multiple wives?”

She thought about it and realized she had no idea at all. While her parents made her go to church every Sunday, it was never about the teachings of God or the belief of religion. It was a social gathering for them to get together with other members of society and show off their perfect family. She hated how she was told to sit so perfectly still, hands on lap, never to make eye contact with others but rather look straight ahead to the person delivering the sermon. It was that constant, robot-like behavior that was drilled into her which caused her to often drift off into daydreams and never pay attention to what was being said.

“No, I honestly have no idea. But still, should I want something like that? I love you, Derek. Just you!”

“Come here.” He pulled her down to lie in the crook of his shoulder. “I know that. I believe that.”

“Why aren’t you mad?”

He chuckled. “You want me to be mad, baby? After I told you that you could tell me anything in the world, and I would not judge you? After I swore to you there would be no consequence for your honesty?”

“So it does bother you.” She knew it. She chided herself at how stupid she was for having been so selfish to tell him something like that.

“No, sweetie, no. Listen to me, okay?”

She had begun to tense but calmed as soon as his arms held her tight. One of his hands gently caressed her hair as they looked up at the ceiling.

“All right, I’ll listen, but you have to be honest, too, no matter what. Please, please promise me that, Derek.”

She felt his chest expand as he took a deep breath, a habit he had when he was either trying to keep his cool or say something that was going to be hard for him to get out. She placed a hand on his heart and waited for him to begin.

“It bothered me when you left me for another man. It bothered me when you let another man have you and take you. I hated that. It killed me.”

Her eyes closed unbearably tight trying to keep the tears from spilling free. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know, sweetie. I know. But what bothered me was because you were no longer with me. Don’t you understand? You were mine. And he took you away from me. I would’ve given you anything. Any desire, any want, any need you had, I would’ve given to you. He took that chance away from me though. You were just gone. I couldn’t give you anything you wanted or needed. I was forced to lie in bed alone every night knowing someone else was giving you what you desired.”

“Oh, Derek.” Her tears were fighting so hard to break free, but she didn’t want him to feel the wetness hit his chest.

“Let me get this out, I want you to understand. Maybe if you understand, you’ll realize just how important it is to me that you’re honest about those things with me.”

She waited while he took a few more breaths, obviously trying to steady his nerves. She could feel he was becoming more and more tense as he went on, but she was determined to not act on it. He said to listen, and that was what she would do. That was the very least she could do.

“Don’t you see? I want to give you pleasure. I want to make you feel good. I want to be the one who gives you those things. No one else. And, sweetie, I hate to shock you with this news, but you are not the only woman who has that fantasy. I’ve heard it a lot.”

Surprised, she interrupted him. “You have? Have you ever…given that to a woman before?” Even more shocking was she didn’t feel jealousy creeping up on her like she would’ve expected. She was curious and nothing more. She felt no fear or insecurities over what his answer may be.

“Yes, I have. I’ve also had women give me the same.”

They sat in silence for a few moments. She wasn’t sure what he’d meant. Did that mean he’d been with a man? How could she have never known that side to him?

“Do you understand what I mean by that?” he asked.

“You’ve done things with men,” she answered.

“No, not with men. You have a fantasy of being with more than one man. I’ve had fantasies of being with more than one woman. So while I’ve given women their fantasies, I’ve also had women indulge me in mine.”

Her stomach turned at the thought. She knew she had no right to be, but she was damn jealous. She wanted to be the only one giving him his fantasies and making him happy. No one else had that right. Sadly, she now understood how it must have felt for him when she allowed someone else to try to fulfill hers.

“Please don’t say anymore. I don’t want to know. I understand why I hurt you so bad. I can’t even think of anyone else giving you what you most want in this world. It’s just too painful.”

“Hey, hey, now I want you to stop that right now. Baby, the honesty goes both ways, okay? What I did with those women was long before I knew you.”

“I know it’s horrible of me to be jealous that another woman gave you your fantasy, but I can’t help it. It makes me sick. I want to be the one giving you everything.”

“You have. She didn’t give me what I wanted most in this world. She gave me a night of sex. There was no feelings, no emotions. My heart wasn’t connected to her like it is to you. You are what I want most in this world, honey. And you are my everything. Every fantasy, every dream I’ve ever had was you. Just you.”

She gave into her tears and let them fall. They weren’t droplets of sadness though. They were of pure joy. She was so happy. She felt so utterly complete with him. Lifting her head just barely, she placed a kiss to his chest.

“Those better not be tears I feel.”

His tone was teasing and made her laugh. “Me? Since when have you known me to cry?”

“Oh, never.”

Abruptly, and before she even knew what was happening, Derek rolled them over, his body now on top of hers while his elbows were down on the bed on either side of her shoulders as he gently stroked her cheeks with the backs of his hands.

“Whatever we do, whatever we decide, we will decide it together. When we hit a fork in the road, we’ll decide if the right or the left path is what’s best for us, and we’ll take that chance together. Nothing, and I mean this, baby, nothing will ever keep us apart again. We finally are learning about one another like we should have done years ago. Let’s not dwell on the past anymore, but concentrate on our future. On where the road ahead will take us.”

He didn’t wait for her answer. He leaned down and gave her a deep and passionate kiss. It was filled with such hope and promise that she could swear she felt his soul in that kiss.

As his mouth left hers and trailed down to her neck, she whispered, “I’ll go wherever you are, Derek. I love you.”

Chapter 21

Zach entered the breakfast room as his eyes scanned the financial section of the times. Smiling because he was pleased with some wise investments he’d made, he set the newspaper down and pulled out his chair to sit. It wasn’t until he set his napkin down on his lap that he felt eyes on him. Looking up, he saw Derek and Sandi standing in the doorway from the kitchen carrying two plates. An awkward and somewhat uncomfortable silence filled the room as they all stared at one another for a moment.