Morgan, Nicole - Intimate Confessions [Intimate Temptations 2] (Siren Publishing Allure) (6 page)

Do not cry! she told herself. The self-given advice seemed foolish though since just fifteen minutes ago she was sniveling like a child.

And that was what really upset her even more. He always got to her. From that first night he stopped her outside of the Roadhouse, he had a way of getting to every one of her emotions. Whether it was anger, sadness, happiness, or love, he always knew the key to unlock every emotion that she was capable of feeling.

Brushing his fingers along her cheek, he added, “Yes, you did very good. You, I’m sure, will be a very good submissive.”

She heard the words, but didn’t want to believe them. Was he really just reducing what they had just done to an act of submission? They loved each other. They were going to get married. How could he?

That was how, she reminded herself. They
were
going to be married. They
once
were in love. That was until she had screwed it up and cheated on him.

She was nothing more than a submissive to him now. Of course, he was treating her like she was nothing. She lost any right to feel special to him the moment she walked out on him.

Swallowing her pride and the lump forming in her throat, she responded. “Thank you.”

He raised his eyebrows and stared at her disapprovingly. “Thank you?”

Instantly she knew her mistake. “Thank you, Sir.”

He seemed happy with her quick recovery. Removing his hand from her face, he stepped away and picked up his clothes from the floor.

Feeling awkward about the vulnerable position she was in, she began to move in an attempt to cover herself.

“Uh-uh-uh,” he scolded her.

His back was still toward her as he stepped into his jeans. She stayed there in the same position and waited for him to say something more. Instead, he just turned around and walked toward the door.

That was it? Was he just going to leave her like that? He had never left her wanting for more in the past. He had always been so attentive, so concerned with her pleasure. Now he was just walking out of the room like she was some random pickup.

The tears stung her eyes too severely this time and fell freely. He stopped in his tracks and turned back toward her.

“No. There will be no tears. You did good. You have absolutely no reason to be upset. Get yourself cleaned up and rest. I’ll meet you in the Red Room at seven o’clock.” With those final instructions, he then shut the door.

“Oh God,” she whispered to herself.

Tears streamed down her cheek. Her arms which were once holding her up now were shaking violently. How could she mean so little to him?

She gave into the grief and allowed herself to fall onto the bed. Crying at will and clutching onto the bedspread, she began to silently wish she had never come here. Missing him was hard enough without— Her head turned toward the door at the sound of it opening.

“Derek?” Instinctively she asked for the man that she wanted and needed so desperately.

It wasn’t him.

Hurriedly, she grabbed at the covers and pulled them up and over her as best she could.

“Zach? What are you doing in here?”

“Oh Jesus, Sandi.” He reached for a robe on the back of her bathroom door and handed it to her. Turning around, he continued, “Are you okay?”

Fighting her tears and putting on the robe, she answered, “Am I okay?”

Reaching her arm out to him, she swung him around and slapped him across the face. He looked at her in shock while rubbing his jaw.

“What the hell?”

“You deserved that. You deserved that and much more! Why did you do this? Why did you bring me here?”

“Ahh. I see you have the same questions my old friend, Derek, does.”

She was surprised by his comment. “Derek asked you that? He didn’t know I would be here?”

The knowledge that he came here to screw another woman, actually probably several other women, tore right through her. Why should it though? She was the one who had cheated on him. Did she really expect him to sit around and be celibate his whole life? The sad truth was she realized that subconsciously she had expected that.

“Of course he didn’t. Do you honestly think he would have come if he knew you were here?”

Somehow his words didn’t shock her. They hurt, but they were no big surprise.

“No, of course he wouldn’t have.”

Zach sighed. “Look, Sandi. I’m not trying to hurt you. I think you are a remarkable woman, and if you were my type, I would be doing everything in my power to seduce you.”

She wasn’t sure why, but his “not his type” comment caught her off guard. She wasn’t insulted, but she did feel something hidden in his statement.

“Don’t get me wrong, sweetie,” he continued. “You are a strikingly beautiful woman and sexy as all hell, but it wouldn’t matter if you were my type anyway. You belong Derek now.”

With a bitterness, she laughed at his statement. She was hardly Derek Travis’s property. He could care less about her. Oh sure, once there was a time he would have proudly claimed her as his own, but that time was long past.

“You doubt that? My dear, did you or did you not just submit to what Derek wanted?”

Hesitantly, she answered, “Yes, but I don’t know what that has to do with anything. It was just sex to him.”

“Really? Was it? Are you completely sure about that?”

She didn’t know what he was trying to get at, but she was tired and growing weary of this whole situation.

“What’s your point, Zach?”

Shaking his head, he sat down on the bed next to her and motioned with his head for her to join him. When she sat beside him, he took her hand.

“Sandi, I told myself I wasn’t going to tell you this. Neither of you. Ever.”

She was worried by his tone and choice of words. “What is it? What are you keeping from me? From us?” She waited while he appeared to be struggling with whether he was actually going to tell her or not.

“Zach, please?”

“All right, but I need you to trust me. Trust is a very important part of what we do here, Sandi. If you can’t trust then—”

Getting impatient, she motioned with her hands for him to hurry up and continue. “Yes. Yes, I trust you. Now please. Just tell me.”

“Okay, I ran into Quinn a while back. It was just shortly after you and I had met in that run-down club in Houston. He was
shopping
, shall we say, for him and his fiancée at the time.”

She looked at him confused by the way he was beating around the bush. What did Quinn have to do with any of this?

“Zach, this doesn’t make any sense. Are you saying Quinn asked you to bring me here?”

He shook his head at her and sighed. “No. Can you just be patient? I didn’t think I was going to be telling you this, so I just hadn’t thought about how I would say it, okay?”

She nodded. “Of course, I’m sorry. Please continue.”

“Okay. Well, he was at a store that sells certain types of toys, if you catch my drift. I was purchasing things for Pleasure Seekers. We were still in the beginning stages and didn’t quite have the level of amenities we offer now.”

She knew from her initial tour of the house when she’d arrived days ago that Zach definitely did offer his guests a wide array of amenities to enjoy. The memory of some of those rooms made her think of Derek, something she did not want to distract herself with now. Directing her attention back toward Zach, she waited for answers to why she was here.

“Quinn and I got to talking and decided to grab a bite for lunch.” He chuckled at the memory. “He was beside himself when he learned about my exclusive club and what its purpose was.”

Literally bent over in laughter, he had to take a moment to compose himself. “Anyway, after he got over his initial shock, we just started to catch up. Chat really, talk about how things were in Oakdale. The whole who’s dating who and who married who type of idle conversation. When we got on the subject of Derek though, I could see in Quinn’s face that he was not exaggerating when he said his brother was destroyed by his once angel who left him for another man.”

She actually gasped when he’d said that. Angel. That’s what he used to call her. He used to say she was his angel sent down from heaven.

“Is something wrong, Sandi?”

Shaking her head, she motioned for him to continue.

“It would have just been meaningless information really. Later that day, I got to thinking though. It donned on me that the man you had talked about loving so much was named Derek. I remembered you said it was in a small town.”

Zach shrugged and got up from the bed. Turning to face her, he added. “So, I did a little digging. Asked a few questions. It really wasn’t that hard. People in Oakdale love their gossip and will tell it just to hear themselves speak.”

Boy, she knew that was true. Judging from how much the community loved Derek, she could only imagine what they had to say about her, too.

“Long story short, I deduced that it was Derek you were still so in love with. The person you truly craved to dominate you, the only person who could sexually satisfy you, because it was not just the need to submit that you desired, but the perfect man to do it.”

Her mouth dropped open. He was right. He knew that after just talking with her a few times. How could she have not known it when she was with Derek? That one perfect man that would complete the complex puzzle of her lust?

“It just so happens that I owe Derek. He did something for me once when we were younger. He didn’t have to, but he did. I will never forget that, and I promised myself a long time ago I would not let a good deed go unrewarded or a debt of mine to go unpaid.”

“So you arranged all of this? The way you took me under your wing?” She remembered how he was so kind to her, so understanding of her confusion over what her body told her she wanted.

“Ahh. Well, my dear, I did that because you are an incredibly sweet person with an even bigger hurt. Quite honestly, if I hadn’t though, you would’ve met up with some unsavory characters who might not have cared about your happiness or what you got out of your submission experiences.”

She remembered all too well a few of the people he was talking about. That was how they had met. She was on her knees kneeling before a man who claimed to be a Dom. He was more like a sadist, hell-bent on humiliating her and using her for his demented amusement. Had Zach not broke the door down on the small room she was locked in with the man, she might have been forced to do things she was not prepared for.

“I can see your mind wandering, dear. Don’t let it. The important thing is, you are here. Derek is here. And hopefully, you two will find a way to submit to one another.”

“Submit to one another?” Derek had claimed to be a Dominant. Why would Zach assume that he would reverse rolls? she wondered.

“No, you misunderstand and, as usual, are overthinking what I am telling you. You both have issues to overcome. You need to come to terms with your guilt and make amends not just to Derek, but to yourself as well. Once you forgive you, Derek will soon follow.”

“If only it were that simple.”

“It can be. And as for Derek, well, he needs to submit his heart to you. Again.”

And there it was, she thought. Her biggest fear. The fear that, despite all they shared, she would never have his heart again.

Zach walked toward her and brushed her hair from her eyes. “You need not worry, Sandi. Derek still loves you. Now whether he knows that is unclear, but the signs are very evident. You are the only submissive he wants, needs, and will ever desire.”

He softly kissed her on the forehead and exited the room. Could he be right? Was she the only one for Derek and he the only one for her?

She lay back on the bed and thought on that. Staring up at the ceiling, she wondered what it would be like. A life with Derek complete with being able to fulfill her deepest desires and fantasies. The mere thought of such a life gave her butterflies and sent a warmth through her body, filling her heart, her womb, and her pussy.

She loved Derek so much. There wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t wake up and see images of him behind her eyelids before opening them to realize he was not there. Even when she was lying beside Tony, she couldn’t get Derek out of her mind or heart. She should have told him. Instead, she let her stupid fears and embarrassment over what her body wanted become more important than the only man who had ever treated her like she mattered. Derek had cherished her and loved her so much.

Had.

Every memory of Derek began with “had,” “was,” or “did.” Everything was in the past tense.

“No!”

She jolted up from the bed and went to stand before her full length mirror.

“You will not mess this up, Sandi, just because you did once before. Derek
will
be yours again, and you will spend the rest of your life cherishing him, just like he did you.”

With a newfound purpose and focus, she went into the bathroom and started the shower. Removing her robe, she made a final vow.

Derek said to clean up and get rest before meeting him in the Red Room at seven o’clock, and that was exactly what she was going to do. She would do everything that he asked, obey him completely, and never ever take him for granted again.