Mother of Darkwaters: Book one of the Vessel series (38 page)

   The woman with red hair depicting the scene of a weeping willow tree narrows her brows, “You're not making journey recipes on your own are you? You can die if you make a mistake.”

   “No grams,” Julianna speaks up, “Dream. I swear.”

   “That's unusual.”

   “What's unusual?”

   “To dream about Lilith is one thing, but I'm not so sure you were dreaming. A dream couldn't have told you about the Lilith diamond – let alone tell you where it was.”

   “Don't creep me out, grams,” Julianna warns.

   Martha grins.

   “Okay let's change the subject then,” Martha agrees to the girl's terms.

   “Sounds good.”

   “Can you tell me what you've learned about prophecy in general?”

   “Sure,” Julianna answers with a nod, “Prophecy can change, divide, break away, split into parallel lines, and restart itself. But no matter how it behaves, in the end it's always fulfilled.”

   “And what's that regurgitation of a text book's definition actually mean to you?”

   Julianna shakes her head with a grin.

   “To me,” the girl clarifies that this will not be the text book definition, “It means that if a prophecy is to be fulfilled through me, then it will do so because of my free choices. It won't require that I alter my decisions because of what I think the prophecy means.”

   “So you're telling me if a prophecy is about you, then you don't have to change who you are in order to make it come true?”

   “Um-yeah. That's what I'm saying,” Julianna suddenly feels less confident about her observation.

   “You're going to stand there and tell me you won't have to alter any of your decision-making in order to fulfill your destiny?”

   “No such thing as destiny, grams,” Julianna counters, “Destiny chooses nothing for me. I choose. Destiny would imply the lack of free choice.”

   “And what makes you think you're not being guided into your choices?”

   “Everyone's guided in one form or another. But at the end of the day we all make the final decision.”

   Martha doesn't respond.

   “I'm not so sure I believe in this prophecy stuff anyway,” Julianna confesses, “But if I did, I wouldn't waste my life trying to fulfill a bunch of mumbo jumbo written on a wall. If it's legit, then it will fulfill itself
because
of my free will. Not because I try to make it happen.”

   Martha crosses her arms.

   “My - my,” Martha adores her granddaughter with a partial smile; “You're a smart one. Far beyond your years.”

   “Did I get it right?”

   “And then some,” Martha answers while lowering her arms to her side.

   Julianna pokes out her tongue.

   Martha laughs as she walks past her granddaughter, into the hallway, and towards her granddaughter's room.

   “Have you thought about what you want for your birthday?”, Martha speaks over her right shoulder, “It's right around the corner.”

   Julianna reaches into her short-short's front left pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper. She catches up to her gram's right side and hands off the note. Martha unfolds the paper.

   “Looks like someone's improving on their calligraphy,” Martha comments on the fancy writing upon the page. She enters Julianna's room, walks over to the staircase leading upstairs into the main library, and turns around. Her eyes scan over the page held within her right hand. She pauses and looks up. Julianna watches nervously. Martha adds to the girl's discomfort by giving her a look of disapproval.

   “You said not to worry about the expenses,” Julianna tries to excuse the lengthy list.

   “Hmm,” Martha answers while looking back to the paper. The woman reads more of the list. She slightly lifts one of her brows and shakes her head. Julianna fidgets from her left foot to her right.

   “I see,” Martha comments while checking the list. Julianna clears her dry throat.

   “I don't need anything, grams,” Julianna interjects, “You've already done so much for me. I only made it because you told me to.”

   Martha folds the piece of paper up. She looks up and winks.

   “Done,” Martha declares, “Just liked watching you squirm.”

   “Grams, that's horrible.”

   “Even your grams needs a little fun sometimes,” Martha answers.

   “I'm here anytime,” Julianna throws both arms into the air before allowing her hands to rests upon her hips, “Feel free to use me as your comedic punching bag.”

   “Ha-ha-ha,” Martha laughs. She turns to face the staircase and begins her ascension, “Your list was actually pathetic, dear. I think Frank and I will have to spruce it up a bit.”

   “I love you, too, grams.”

   “Just wait, dear,” Martha answers while continually climbing the stairs, “You haven't lived until you've partied with us old folk.”

   Julianna shakes her head and walks over to her desk. She pulls out the chair, sits down, and reaches for an open wooden jewelry box her grams gave her. Reaching into the white oak box, Julianna picks up a picture of Johnathan and stares. It doesn’t seem it has been nearly a year since his death. Yet at the same time, she has learned so much since then.

   She used to believe in her love of him, but it wasn't the kind of love she would have been willing to die for. She may have thought that whenever he died. But the truth is, she didn't love him like she told herself she did. Sure, he was her first love. However, she couldn't love him like he loved her. How could she? Beyond her father, Julianna never witnessed what true love actually looks like. And with him, alcohol was his love above her. He always said otherwise, but she knows all too well how actions speak louder than words.

   Julianna traces the face within the picture. Guilty regret fills her soul. She is torn between two worlds: one which was – one that is. And it's not like she would ever say her life is better off
because
of Johnathan's death. But reality shouts the opposite within her. The truth is that her life is better off.

   She has been reconnected to her family after so many long years. And thanks to her mother's diary and the brief moment she received on the beach with Lilith, Julianna feels closer to her mother than ever before. A feat she thought impossible. But how is she to measure such treasures against such a horrible and needless tragedy? Better yet, why would anyone ever put another person into such a predicament?

   But if the God of Heaven is actually real and in control as everyone claims, then He did this very thing to her. Factually speaking, only someone who is twisted and cruel could ever desire to harm in the way He has harmed her. She never did anything to Him to warrant this kind of senseless torture. If anything, she loved Him. At least as a child she did. But He has made it abundantly clear that her love meant nothing to Him. And all she has to do is to look back on her life in order to see the proof. It's not like He covers His tracks.

   Julianna places the picture of her and Johnathan back into the box. The guilt she feels is not of his death. She has come to terms with that. Her guilt comes from the way she feels about her life today because of the tragedy.

   Today, she has money. She has never known what it means to not scrape by. Not until Johnathan died, anyway. Today, she has power. She sees it within the way other people treat her grandparents as though they were some kind of royalty. She has never asked about it or made any comments. But she is no fool. She sees it. And today, she has a purpose beyond a meaningless life of just trying to survive into the next day. She has reason to live. And it has nothing to do with a boy. She wants to live because she is truly happy with living. A feeling she has not known since before her mother's death.

   Reality shouts the truth within her. Through Johnathan's death she has been given a new life, a new chance. Reborn into this world as it was always meant to be. Reborn as an individual. Reborn into her family in which she had once been deprived. A child's naiveté interior burned and refined by the pure fires of death itself. Yes, Johnathan's anger when they argued that day cost him his life as he carelessly floored the gas pedal. But his anger, also, brought her to the birthing chamber of renewal.

   The truth about Johnathan is that he thought he loved her. But he no more loved her than she loved him. They both loved the idea of being in love. Johnathan made her feel wanted and accepted during her dark hours of existence. And she allowed him to feel like the man he wanted to be. A savior to all. That's want he really wanted from her. Her soul to be saved as defined by his beliefs. And for his benefit, she would dangle the prospect of such a notion within his reach without ever letting him to take hold of it. But he never knew that. He always thought she believed. But she didn't. She couldn't.

   It's just too much to agree to kneel before the very entity in which she knows could have prevented such terrible atrocities against her as a child. And it amazes her how people could blindly ignore such a truth as this. They swear He is all powerful, can be everywhere at the same time, and is all-knowing. They stand firmly behind their beliefs in that He is good, merciful, and kind. Yet, if a human were to do such a thing to a child as their God has done to her, they would be the first to scream out for justice against Him. But they don't. They, instead, replace the reality of who He is with a blatantly watered down version of His existence. And what's the excuse they all use? Their excuse is that we cannot understand His ways because they are not our own. So pathetic. Yet, millions follow this ignorant reasoning. And for the life of her, she can't figure out why. Reality shouts the truth loud and clear. But millions refuse to listen. However, Julianna listens. And that's all that really matters.

   She closes the box and slides it to the back of the desk top. Looking to her left, her green eyes adore the gorgeous matching white oak mini tree sitting next to the desk. It was a gift from the Lady Lanecia. Used to hold jewelry, the white branches serve as an alternative means to house her rings and necklaces instead of the normality of using the box. Each branch is stripped of its bark and sanded to a smooth finish. Swamp moss covers the base and lights up with the fiber optic coloring of her choosing. She usually leans towards the color matching her mood, but not always. Sometimes she is just too lazy to change it. Other times, she just doesn't care.

   Julianna removes her necklaces, stands up, and walks over to the tree standing four feet in height. She places her black onyx family emblem upon one of its branches. Its geometric shape is a perfect form to that of the star inside of a circle within the library's carpet upstairs. A ribbon arches over the circle's top.
Gariatu Estidium Merné
is the words carved within the ribbon just as they are embroidered into the carpet upstairs.

   She looks at the Lilith diamond within her left hand and smiles. The shiny black gem is etched, carved, and cut to create the triangle's three angles. More flat than three-dimensional, the object is no thicker than a quarter. Each of the larger sides is etched with the same markings on both sides. Lines begin at the triangle's three corners and converge inward towards the center. But they never meet. Instead, they all point to another set of lines. These lines are wavy like the depiction of water. And each of these three lines stacks one above the other, respectively. No one except Julianna has ever worn it before. Or at least, that's the story she's been getting. It's hard to imagine no one ever trying it on. Even with the reverence her family has carried on about such things over the years. Yet, somehow, Julianna sort of believes the claims. If her ancestors were anything like her grams is now, Julianna knows no one has ever worn it. Her grams can be a bit intense about this stuff. And if truth be told, her passion for the library and its contents are probably characteristics woven into her from her mother – Julianna's great grandmother.

   The diamond is supposedly an item reserved only for the Mother of Darkwaters. And although Martha can be quite playful at times, when it comes to family business, the older woman does not joke…at all. But while some may view her grams as eccentric in this area, Julianna has come to understand over this past year the seriousness of this library.  Martha isn't eccentric. She understands when to play and when to be grown up. A valuable lesson Julianna learned at the Lady Lanecia's house; whenever, a simple cleansing ritual turned deadly.

   Julianna picks a branch and places the Lilith diamond's necklace over one of the ending sprouts. She studies the markings with her eyes. The three converging lines is thought by the gem's creators to represent the balancing powers which keep the living from tearing away the spiritual veil of the black sea. In other words, the three lines are believed to represent the God of Heaven. His power prevents the living from witnessing the realm of the dead.  

   The balancing part of this act allows the dead to view the living. And at times, they interact. But as Julianna sees it, this is no more than a sick and perverted punishment against those who have passed on, but refused to bow to Him. They are forced to watch while their family members live out their physical lives. Lives wrought with pain, regret, sadness, and grief. And the few brief moments of joy – any life can expect to experience – can never tip the unbalanced scales of His creation.

   The creators of this diamond may have thought these converging lines represented the God of Heaven, but Julianna understands this isn't entirely true. The creators' philosophy is correct, but not within the lines themselves. These lines have nothing to do with Him. The proof is in the gem itself. It is the Lilith diamond. Not the God diamond. The converging lines are nothing more than the rules of prophecy governing the Mother of Darkwaters' arrival.

   One of the first things Julianna did upon her return from the disastrous cleansing ritual was to buckle down on the Lilith language. After quickly finding out that it would take time to learn such a vast language, she decided to work on it in between her studies of the color-tagged books.