Moving in Reverse (9 page)

“
What’s wrong?” I said,
reality coming back to me. “There’s something, isn’t
there?”

He sighed, sitting down next to me
without answering my question. There was silence for a moment, and
then his face brightened.

“
Let’s get out of here,”
he said, looking at me excitedly.

“
Okay,” I said, feeling
like I was a step behind him. “Where to? Are you hungry?” I’d
barely picked at my dinner, worrying the whole time about why Blake
hadn’t written me back.

“
No, I mean
really
out of here,”
Blake said, his eyes glinting in the fluorescent dorm room light.
“Let’s go to L.A.”

I blinked, looking at him to see if he
was serious. He grinned at me, looking as happy as I’d seen him all
day.

“
Come on,” he said. “It’s
ugly here. It’s cold. People are on top of us all the time. Let’s
take a little break — this time tomorrow, we could be on the
beach.”

I looked at him skeptically. “What
about Monday? You want to fly to California for 24
hours?”

He shook his head,
dismissing the thought. “What
about
Monday?” He said it reflexively, not expecting an
answer. “I think Columbia could function without us for a week or
two.”

“
A week
or two
?” I didn’t want
to sound like a killjoy, but I was already close to a C in our
English class. Blake might be able to coast his way through
freshman year, but I was on thin ice.

“
Why not? Come on, Casey,”
he paused for a second. “What are we even doing here
anyway?”

I heard a tinge of something else in
Blake’s voice, and for a moment I wondered if he’d asked himself
that question more than once this semester.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t wondered it
too.

“
Blake, I can’t just miss
a week of classes.” I wanted to be the impulsive, carefree girl
who’d followed him across the country on a whim this summer, but
this was real life. We weren’t leaving behind a few weeks of
helping out at my mom’s office and babysitting my brother — this
was our freshman year of college.

Disappointment flashed across his
face, and he turned away from me for a second. “Fine,” he said. “No
big deal. Whatever.”

“
Blake, I’m sorry—” I
brushed my hand against his, trying to cheer him up. “You wouldn’t
want to miss Halloween, would you?”

It didn’t cheer him up. “Right,” he
said, still obviously annoyed. “Wouldn’t want to miss Halloween
frat parties, obviously.”

We sat in silence for a
second.

“
I guess I’ll get going,”
I said, wanting him to stop me.

“
I guess,” he flipped on
his phone and checked the time.

I lingered before walking to the door,
and a thought occurred to me.

“
Wait,” I said, turning
back to Blake. “What about fall break?”

Columbia had a week-long break in
early November, midway through the semester. I’d been planning to
go home to Rockland, but my parents could always come into the city
in between, or just wait another few weeks till
Thanksgiving.

Blake looked at me with a small smile.
“When does it start?”

I met his eyes helplessly. “I don’t
know,” I giggled. “I’ve lost track of what month it is at this
point. Darby had to remind me that tomorrow was Halloween. Soon,
though. It’s a whole week.”

A smile spread across his face, the
tension starting to evaporate. “Ok,” he said, smiling. “Fall
break.”

“
I’ll put it in my
calendar,” I met Blake’s eyes. “Wouldn’t be so bad to have a few
days to ourselves.” I kept my voice light and flirtatious, hoping
he’d catch my meaning.

He pulled me back onto the bed,
covering my body with his and pressing down with a long, slow kiss.
“Figure out the dates,” he said, his voice hoarse in my ear. “And
I’ll buy the plane tickets tomorrow.”

His lips moved down to my neck. I
closed my eyes, sinking deeper into the pillow. In a week or two,
I’d be in California. Alone. With Blake.

It was all going to be
okay.

Chapter Twelve

Halloween was warm for October, and
Darby and I walked out to the Kappa party together on Saturday
night, trying to ignore the appreciative whistles as we walked in
our costumes down the New York sidewalk.

Blake, who was in a much better mood
after booking us two first class tickets to LAX in six days, had
even agreed to meet us out later in the night.

“
Casey,” Jen, the Kappa
president who I’d hardly seen since the first day of Rush, ran up
to us as soon as we walked in. “Darby, awesome. We’re so glad to
have you guys,” she handed us two glasses of a pink drink that I
guessed was about seventy percent sugar, thirty percent alcohol. I
looked around the party and noticed that just about every girl had
pink-stained lips from the punch.

“
We’re so excited,” Darby
said, matching Jen’s enthusiasm. “Oh my gosh, I love your costume.”
Her voice was about an octave higher than it normally was, nearly
breaking into a squeak.

Jen was dressed as a sixties airline
stewardess in a skintight blue minidress and cropped jacket,
complete with a pillbox hat and her hair set into old Hollywood
curls. Darby was right — it was actually really cute.

“
You guys look great,” Jen
said, her eyes darting over my Madonna costume with a slightly
surprised expression. “Very rock and roll, Casey — I like
it.”

“
I figured everyone would
do Kate Middleton,” I explained, and sure enough, I saw a dozen
lace wedding dresses cruising the room.

“
It’s going to be a fun
night,” a male voice said, and I turned to see Jeff standing behind
us. “Glad to see you guys found the punch okay,” he winked at Darby
and me.

Jen glanced back and forth from Jeff
to me. “Casey, I think you already know Jeff...” she said, her head
tilted a bit to the side.

“
Right,” I smiled at him,
and then glanced over to Darby to introduce her, but stopped short.
Darby was gritting her teeth, forcing a smile that anyone within a
half mile could tell was completely and totally fake. “Let’s, um,
go find the other pledges,” I took Darby’s hand and walked deeper
into the party, leaving Jeff and Jen by the entrance.

“
You want to tell me
what’s wrong?” I whispered to Darby the second we were out of
earshot.

Darby didn’t even look at me, her lips
set in a thin, deliberate line.

“
Wait—” I stopped walking,
remembering the conversation we’d had after one of the first rush
parties. “Is Jeff the guy? The one you liked?”

Her eyes flashed at me, angry and
hurt. “So what if he was? Not like it mattered to you.”

I looked at her, trying to figure out
what she was talking about.

“
Darby, I don’t know what
you’re—”

She didn’t let me finish. Turning on a
dime, she disappeared into the party, her blonde hair flashing
behind her.

I stood there for a minute, confused,
when suddenly I felt a hand on my back. I turned around, relieved,
hoping that Blake had finally made it to the party.

“
Are you avoiding me?”
Jeff leaned down close to my ear to say it, and I involuntarily
took a step back.

“
Did you—” I wasn’t sure
how to say it. Do you like my roommate? It sounded like something a
twelve year old might ask. I didn’t want to make Darby any angrier
with me than she already was, even if it seemed more or less
inexplicable.

I sighed.

“
Come on, Casey,” Jeff
said, sliding another cup of pink punch into my hand, setting it
inside my already-empty cup. “It’s Halloween. Loosen up a little.
Don’t you know this is the only night of the year you can be
someone else?”

I took a big gulp.

“
You have to be someone in
the first place before you can be someone else,” I
muttered.

Jeff grinned, as if I’d actually said
something funny. I was starting to wonder if he could even hear
me.

“
Bottoms up,” he said,
finishing the last of his beer. “Let’s go get us another
one.”

I started to protest, but what was
really the point? Freshman year was supposed to be all about
getting drunk at dumb frat parties, so why not?

As if reading my thoughts, Jeff
grabbed my hand and led me in the direction of the keg. I glanced
back once to try to find Darby, but all I could see were dozens of
strangers, not a single person I recognized.

Maybe I should have paid more
attention at Rush, I thought to myself, and followed Jeff deeper
into the party. I bet Darby knew all the girl’s birthdays by
now.

I knew when Blake got to the party,
because everyone started lowering their voices.

I was used to it, sort of. When we’d
walk down the street over the summer, most of the time people would
do this double take, as if his face was so familiar that they
thought he’d gone to high school with them, or was that
friend-of-a-friend whose name you couldn’t place.

Then they’d realize who he was, and
their faces would change. I could see it happen every time. First
they’d go all wide-eyed, looking him up and down as if it was funny
that he suddenly existed in real life. Then they’d kind of barely
conceal this smile, like, hey, I recognize you, but I’m not even
going to say anything. I’ll just nod like we’re friends, and you’ll
appreciate the privacy, so you’ll nod back.

That was if it wasn’t a teenage girl,
at least. Teen girls didn’t really care about Blake’s privacy, but
they sure were excited to see him.

Columbia students were a slightly more
jaded group, I figured, because it was more or less the first
reaction. I heard the whispers first, the girls nudging each other
to look over at him. It wasn’t like the party quieted down — the
music was still blaring in my ears, some awful pop remix that
sounded like someone had had one too many Red Bulls before
recording it. But everyone’s conversations got quieter, more
distracted, as people half paid attention to each other and half
watched Blake.

“
Hey,” I waved, figuring
it would do more good than calling out his name. I was sitting on
someone’s desk, two empty cups on the ledge next to me. I’d spent
most of the party talking to Jeff, hoping that Darby or one of the
other girls would reappear. He didn’t seem to mind.

“
Hey,” Blake walked up to
us, giving Jeff a curt nod and leaning over to kiss me. “So this is
a frat party, huh?”

When Blake went out in L.A., he’d had
roped-off VIP rooms, bodyguards provided by the clubs. To say that
a crowded dorm party wasn’t really his scene was a major
understatement.

“
Well, well,” Jeff said.
“Blake Parker.”

Blake caught the edge in Jeff’s voice
and I watched him tense up. I tried to diffuse it, forcing a
smile.

“
Blake, this is Jeff.
Jeff, this is my boyfriend, Blake.” I emphasized the word
boyfriend, trying to remind everybody where they stood.

“
Well, thanks for coming,
Blake,” Jeff said, clamping his hand onto Blake’s shoulder. “No
costume?”

Blake was wearing jeans and a
long-sleeved tee shirt, his hair scruffy like always.

“
He’s going as a rock
star,” I smiled, jumping down from the desk.

Jeff muttered something I couldn’t
hear, and I saw Blake’s body tense.

“
What was that?” He raised
an eyebrow, taking a step towards Jeff.

Jeff smirked. “A washed up rock star,
maybe.”

I saw Blake’s hand form a fist. I
didn’t know what to do, but I had to get everyone to calm down.
Fast.

Last summer, the tabloids had had a
field day when Blake had gotten into a fight in New Orleans with a
guy who wouldn’t leave me alone. The last thing he needed was for
something like that to happen again.

Without thinking, I jumped in between
them.

“
Hey, maybe we should go,”
I said to Blake, pleading with my eyes.

“
Casey, stay out of this,”
Jeff said, pushing me to the side. I wasn’t ready for it and lost
my balance, hitting the side of the desk, hard.

“
Don’t. Touch. Her.”
Blake’s voice cut through the air like a knife, and he shoved Jeff
backwards with both hands.

He could probably take Jeff, but in a
room full of Jeff’s fraternity brothers?

I was kind of partial to Blake’s face
the way it was. Without a broken nose.

“
Blake,” I murmured,
stepping between them more forcefully and pushing him backwards
with my hands. “Let’s go.”

Blake shot one more look at Jeff,
anger coming off his body in waves.

Then he shook his head, as if making a
decision, and turned around.

I sighed with relief, leading us out
of the party.

And we almost got to the
door.