Moving On Without You (10 page)

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it?"

"I don't know what to say. I guess we break
up now?"

"I cheated on you and you don't even
care?"

"I can't say I didn't see this coming. This
isn't the first time this has happened to me. Do you want to work it out or
something or are we done here?"

"You're such a bitch."

"I'm not. I just have a lot of homework and
you're calling me to tell me you kissed a girl and hung out with her. It
doesn't seem like a huge thing, but if you want to be with her that's cool.
I've been through worse."

"Wow."

The words were cruel, but she had gotten so tired
of MD that it was not hard to dismiss him. This was a good enough excuse and
why shouldn't she take it? He was cold throughout most of their relationship.
She was no better with him.

"It's no big deal. I'm over it already. Talk
to you later."

She heard the phone cut out before he said
good-bye, but she was relieved. It was like a giant brick lifted off of her
chest. Tracy had been planning an exit strategy since they started the
relationship. It felt good to be done. Plus, Sabrina was waiting.

Tracy's bus got them to
school later than usual. She made it to through the metal detectors just as the
second bell rang. There was no time to zip up her bag. She had to make it to
homebase before they started the hall sweep or she would be stuck in detention
again. Mrs. Jones was sipping her coffee when Tracy arrived.

"Good morning!"

"Good morning."

Tracy found her seat, relieved she didn't have to
show a pass. She scanned through her chemistry notes. They had a test coming up
in a few days and she wanted to be prepared. All the distractions in her life
lately were ruining her focus. Now that MD was out of the picture she could get
back to worrying about what really mattered. Sabrina was a slight distraction,
but it did not bother Tracy to etch out some time for her because Sabrina made
her happy. She did not ask for much except time and that was something Tracy
did not mind giving her.

They're relationship was still a big secret. Tracy
never brought it up to anyone. She had not met any of Sabrina's friends or
family members. Sabrina sometimes spoke about her mother, but Tracy had only
seen the woman in pictures. It was like they were good friends. That is how
Tracy explained it to her mother and Janet never questioned it.

On the way to Chemistry Tracy stopped in the
bathroom to pin up her hair. It had gotten frizzy from the snow and kept
falling in her eyes. A couple girls walked in the bathroom behind her and
stopped talking when she turned to face them. Then they burst into laughter as
they walked past. She turned back to the mirror and went on with her hair. Once
it was in place she left the giggling girls standing in front of the sinks.

Tracy made it to Chemistry before the bell rang
and found her seat. Chloe was penciling in her notebook.

"Hey, Chlo."

"Hey."

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

Chloe looked nervous, but Tracy wasn't sure why.
She took her notebook out of her bag and opened a fresh page while she waited
on Mr. Shafer to start the lecture. When she looked up at the front door she
saw MD coming in with his friends. He looked at her and sneered. Tracy turned
to Chloe to see if she had seen what Tracy saw, but Chloe just looked down at
the desk.

"What the hell?" Tracy asked.

"He's mad, but I wouldn't worry about it. You
guys were dating for a while."

"Why should I be worried?"

Tracy wondered how Chloe knew they had broken up.
This was the first time they saw each other all day. Had MD really gone to tell
on her? She couldn't imagine he was that petty.

"He told me what you did," Chloe said.

"What did I do?"

"I don't want to say it out loud."

"Write it down."

Chloe scribbled in her notebook for a while and
Tracy waited to read the news. It couldn't be anything positive. When Chloe
finished writing her paragraph she passed it to Tracy.

MD called me last night
and told me that you two had sex and you were a freak. He said you slept around
with a bunch of guys he knows and you broke up with him last night. He said you
didn't even care. You were a bitch to him and you never loved him.

Tracy looked at the note for a while before facing
her friend.

"You believe him?" Tracy asked.

"I don't know what went on between you two.
You don't ever talk about it."

"Mohammed is an ass and most of what he said
is not true. We had sex, but we were in a relationship so I thought I was safe.
The rest of what he said is a lie, but if that's what he wants people to think
I don't care."

"So you didn't cheat on him?"

Tracy looked at her friend blankly. She had
cheated on Mohammed but not with a bunch of guys. The story of what happened
with the two of them was too long to explain during this Chemistry class and
Tracy wasn't sure she wanted Chloe to know the gory details anyway. It might
clear her name to a certain extent but more than likely it would further
incriminate her. Chloe wasn't ready to know the truth anyway. She had barely
been kissed.

"I told him some things about my past. Now he
wants to use it against me, but he hasn't been boyfriend of the year himself."

"He made it seem like you were mistreating
him. Did you really tell him you didn't love him?"

"I said 'I am not going to say I love you
unless I am sure' and I wasn't sure. Three months is too quick to say you love
someone anyway. I've dated people for longer that I had stronger feelings for
and even then I didn't say 'I love you.' He should be glad I didn't lie to him.
Wouldn't that be worse?"

"Like I said, you guys were dating for a
while. You could have done worse."

What exactly was that supposed to mean? Whose side
was Chloe on? Every time there was an altercation, Chloe always chose the other
person's point of view. She never defended Tracy. Why were they even friends?

Tracy was fuming when she came into the cafeteria,
but she did not want to hide or run away. That would only make people believe
what Mohammed was saying was true. Tracy had no reason to hide. Mohammed was a coward.
He had gotten his heart broken and instead of taking it like a man, he went
around the school gossiping. Tracy couldn't believe how immature he was being.
She found her usual table with John and sat down waiting for him to chime in
with his thoughts about the rumors.

"You think you're ready for the test?"
John asked.

Was he going to pretend he had not heard or was it
that he really didn't care? Tracy looked at her friend and smiled because she
was happy he wasn't forcing her to talk about it.

"I stated studying last night, but after
today's review I'm not so sure. I might have to come meet Mr. Shafer during
homebase."

"Yeah, I think I'm almost ready. I just need
to do a little more memorizing and I'll be fine."

"Thank you for not bringing up. . . .you know
what Chloe was talking about."

"I heard about it this morning, but I knew it
wasn't true. I know you better than that."

"Really? So you believe me?"

"I don't think it's anything to lie about and
like I said before, Mohammed is a scumbag. I don't know why you were with him
in the first place. He talks a whole lot like a female. I can't understand
it."

"I don't know what I was thinking. I got
bored I guess."

"You have too much going for yourself to get
caught up with a guy like that. He'll never be anything in life. You shouldn't
even be upset. You know who you are."

Tracy had never heard John speak so highly of her.
She was glad he had been paying attention because her best friend at school
couldn't even see that. It was a good thing she switched lunch tables when she
did. Chloe wondered why Tracy did not tell her anything, but today she had
proven yet again that she couldn't be trusted.

After school Tracy got right into her homework.
Her head was full of everything that Chloe had said, what Mohammed had supposedly
said, the looks she got in the hallway, the frowns of disappointment. She
couldn't stop reliving it. It had been one of the most embarrassing days and
she wanted to crawl into bed and stay there. She didn't know if she could go
back to school for another day of torment. Why couldn't she change schools or
move or anything to get out of there? Janet would never understand though and
explaining it would mean she was giving the incident more life.
You
shouldn't be offended. You know who you are.
Remembering John's words
helped her calm down. She knew the truth and she hadn't done anything she was
ashamed of. That was what really mattered.

Tracy decided to call Sean to vent about the whole
thing. She wouldn't be able to get through her homework until she got this off
her mind.

"Are you serious?" Sean asked.

"Yes. I can't believe this is happening to me
right now. I never do anything and then I finally try to have some fun and the
whole thing backfires on me."

"I know you didn't sleep with a bunch of guys.
That's just ridiculous, but why would he say all that stuff? And what's wrong
with being a freak? I'd take that as a compliment."

"You're a mess. If I had slept around I would
own up to it. I don't even care, but I'm just mad because I didn't do those things.
He cheated on me, called to brag about it, and then gets mad when I break it
off with him. I mean, isn't that what he wanted? Why else would he tell on
himself like that?"

"Because he's a damn fool! Maybe he thought
you would cry or something."

"He knows I wasn't in love with him. He
manipulated that whole thing."

"Whatever. I believe you, but I just don't
get why Chloe doesn't. She should know better than to take his word for it.
Guys will always lie about sex."

"This is what burns me up about Chloe. She
never takes my side."

"Girl, even if I knew he was telling the
truth I would have still denied it because you're my friend. I'm not gonna let
him talk about you like that!"

"Right! Chloe listened to him and didn't even
call me to let me know what happened. She's such a fake bitch."

"I told you she was fake last year!"

Tracy was glad her real friends knew the truth.
The rest of the school was not relevant. Hearing Sean's opinion really put it
in perspective. Chloe was someone Tracy should distance herself from because
she did not have her best interest at heart.

The weather was beginning to get better which made
the walks to Sabrina's house easier. Sabrina was always eager to see Tracy and
this was motivation enough. It had been a long day, but Tracy needed to be
around someone who adored her and made her feel like no one else mattered.

Sabrina was already in her sweats, but she did not
lead Tracy to her bedroom. She brought her to the kitchen instead.

"What the heck are you doing?" Tracy
asked.

"I know I won't see you on your birthday so I
made you cupcakes today instead."

Talk about a pick-me-up. Sabrina was full of
surprises. She had baked twelve cupcakes and frosted them pink and blue. Tracy
had forgotten her birthday was coming with all the drama that was going on.

"You had time for this?"

"I made time."

"I thought you weren't domesticated?"

"I'm doing this for you and you're
complaining?"

"I'm not. I love it."

Tracy pulled Sabrina close and hugged her tightly.

"You have no idea how much I needed
this."

Janet was sitting in the dining room on the phone
when Tracy came in. Tracy tried to slip by her mother and creep off to her
room.

"Tracy!"

Caught.

"Yes?"

"What do you want for your birthday?"

"My driver's license."

"You can get that on your own."

"I can't afford that."

"You don't have any money?"

Tracy had been saving her allowance up for a while
but Janet did not know that.

"No."

"You don't want to do anything for your
birthday?"

"We can go to dinner."

"Okay. I'll arrange something for
Saturday."

Tracy was taken aback. Everyone had remembered her
birthday except for her. Some of her classmates were having sweet sixteen
parties, but Tracy did not have enough friends to throw a big bash. She didn't
want the extra attention anyway. She had gotten the perfect gift already.

"Where are you coming from anyway?"

"Sabrina's."

"You sure do spend a lot of time over
there."

"I guess."

Janet swiveled back around in the chair letting
Tracy off the hook. Tracy had to be more careful. Her mother was watching more
closely than she had first imagined but she could have never guessed what was
really going on.

Friday night came and Tracy wanted to go over
Sabrina's after school, but Sabrina's mother was off on Friday and Saturday
afternoons. Tracy didn't even like to call Sabrina when her mother was home. It
gave the girls a little break until Monday. Sometimes Tracy wondered what might
happen if she did visit Sabrina when her mother was there. Would the woman even
be suspicious? Tracy's mother had asked about Sabrina, but she did not appear
to know much.

Sean called while Tracy was watching television.

"I have great news," he said.

"What?"

"Max moved and he is on my bus now. And you
know what else?"

"What?"

"He asked me how you were doing. I told him I
was coming over for your birthday dinner and he asked if I would give him your
number."

"Shut up!"

"I'm serious!"

"He rides your bus? I wonder where he
lives."

"Not far. He is the bus stop before mine.
Anyway, I gave him your number."

"I can't believe you did that."

"You know you want to talk to him."

Tracy was excited to hear the news. She had
started to forget about Max, but he was still thinking of her. She sat back
thinking about why he wanted to talk to her again. Could she really be this
lucky?

After cleaning the house Saturday morning, Tracy
started looking for something to wear to the dinner. It was an early dinner and
they had to leave to get Sean before it started. All the outfits looked like
they had been worn one thousand times. Nothing was good enough.
It's only
Applebee's,
she tried to remind herself.

Tracy heard the phone ringing and she ran to the
living room to get it. She had been waiting since last night to hear from Max,
but every phone call turned out to be someone calling for her mother. Every
time she heard the phone ring she rushed to the caller ID, but it was never
him. She caught the phone in the kitchen before it stopped ringing.

"Hi, can I speak to Tracy?"

It was him. He had finally called after more than
a year. He was on the other end of the line waiting for her.