Mr. Black's Proposal (6 page)

“I don’t know,” I said. “No. It went okay. But then I went to kiss him and he nearly tripped over himself trying to get me away from him.”

“Oh, sis.” Andy held out the Kleenex box and I pulled out a handful of tissues, blotting them ineffectually against my eyes.

“And then he called me a cab and didn’t even kiss me on the lips, and GOD, I feel so rejected!”

“He’s an idiot.”

“He’s not. I’m the idiot.”

“Steph, you are the smartest woman I know.”

I blinked my tears away.

“Who are you and what have you done with my little brother?” I asked, sniffing into the tissue. Andy smiled sympathetically.

“Well. This may not be the best time to tell you this,” Andy said. “Buuuuuut….”

“Tell me what?”

“Perq Coffee called. They want to double their order for cupcakes.”

“Double?”

“Starting next week Monday.”

“That’s impossible. We can’t do it.” We were already at full capacity. We might be able to squeeze out a few more batches, but that was it for now.

“Well, that’s the thing.”

“What’s the thing?” All of my tears were gone, replaced by a stabbing worry in my chest. I didn’t know which was better.

“They said if we can’t do it, they’ll have to move to another supplier.”

“What?”

“Sorry. I just—”

“What?”

“If you maybe asked Lucas for a loan, we could—”

“No. Uh-uh. Not happening. After tonight? No. No way.”

“But we can’t—”

“It doesn’t matter.” I stood up. “I’ll make more cupcakes starting now.”

“More cupcakes? What are you going to do, give up sleep?”

“Sure. And I’ll find us a bigger spot and get a loan from the bank.”

“That’s going to take longer than a few days.”

“We’ll manage.”

“How?”

I could cry. This would have been great news if they had given us more notice, but I didn’t know how I could make the timeline work. I pursed my lips and thought about what I would have to do.

“Somehow,” I said finally. “I’m magical, remember?”

Monday came and went. I was too busy to do anything other than work, but I got out the double batch of cupcakes to Perq like they wanted.

Tuesday, Rachel texted me to say she was singing at a jazz club, but I couldn’t make it. Then she texted me again, all excited about some guy. I would have been happy for her, but I was too tired to feel anything after getting only three hours of sleep.

Wednesday I had to tell Lacey I couldn’t make it to her dress fitting. She understood, but I was still upset. I was her maid of honor, after all. How was I going to be any help when I was so freaking busy?

Lucas called me and left messages. I was too embarrassed to call him back after the last time. Even if I had time to date, I didn’t think I could take being rejected again.

By Friday evening, I had bags under my eyes. I was dirt tired. I couldn’t keep it up.

Then, the mixer stopped working again right as I’d dumped the last of the expensive clove and cinnamon spice jar into the unmixed batter.

“No! No, no, no!”

I slammed my hand against it. The mixer whined and whined and didn’t mix.

“NO!”

I took the unmixed batter and threw the bowl against the wall. The cinnamon puffed into the air as the rest of the batter went everywhere. Flour and eggs and milk splashed over the floor. It was terrible and stupid and utterly satisfying. For the first time all week, I felt like I had finally expressed my anger.

Then the doorbell jangled in the front of the shop.

I looked down at my apron, covered in flour. I was pretty sure my hair was in a similar state. Oh, well. There was no way this day was getting any worse, no matter how bad I looked in front of customers. I marched out to the front of the shop, gritting my teeth and ready for anything.

Anything except
him
.

Before I could turn around, Lucas raised his head. He was leaning against the front counter, looking so handsome I could cry. His hair was perfectly styled and he wore a slim dark suit that accentuated his perfect figure. When he smiled, I think my heart broke apart a little inside.

“You didn’t answer my calls,” he said. God, he looked too perfect. Why was he even here?

“I’ve been busy.”

“Too busy to send a text?”

“Yes, actually,” I said.

“You look tired.”

That was it. He could come in here with his perfect suit and his perfect smile, but there was no way I was going to sit back and let myself be insulted like that.

“Thanks a lot,” I snapped. “You’re a real Prince fucking Charming, you know that?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His smile melted into concern. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Andy told me about the new order you have from that coffeeshop.”

I held up my hand.

“Don’t even talk about it.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t need your help.”

I saw my mom in my mind’s eye, with one of the men she’d dated. I shook the thought away.

Lucas raised one eyebrow.

“Why not?”

“I’m not… I don’t want to be one of your girls like that.”

“Steph—”

“No! I won’t be like that!”

In my mind, my mom was clinging to her date’s elbow at the door. She whispered in his ear, and he reached into his pocket.
No. Not like that.

“Like what?” Lucas asked.

“So fucking needy! So fucking dependent! Just like my mom. I’d rather die!”

I turned away so he couldn’t see the tears in my eyes. Instead of leaving, though, Lucas came quickly around the counter. He put a hand on my shoulder and I cringed. I didn’t want his pity.

“Your mom? What does your mom have to do with this?” he asked softly.

I shook my head, unwilling to look him in the eye.

“She was like that, always dating another guy as soon as the last one left her. She took their money, always, or drugs. She never worked. She just sucked up their money until they were dry.”

I couldn’t stop talking. Now that he’d opened it up, I just couldn’t stop.

“She fucked them and took their money, and she said they were just being nice guys, but they weren’t. Most of them knew exactly what they were doing. Hey, it’s cheaper than a hooker, right?”

“Steph—”

“And when they couldn’t do it anymore, they would dump her, and she’d go out and find another one. I remember her caking on the makeup to try and look younger. She couldn’t do it forever, and it got harder and harder as she got older, and when I left home, she was still doing it. Can you imagine, fifty-five years old and fucking whatever guys would buy her dinner and maybe slip her a twenty? She might as well have been a hooker, for all the guys she went through like that. There was one time…”

I trailed off, seeing the scene like it was yesterday.

“What?”

“Don’t tell Andy,” I said. “You can’t tell him. He doesn’t know. He was too young to understand.”

Lucas put one hand on mine. I couldn’t believe I was telling him this. But it felt good, in a way, to let all of the bad stuff just pour out of me. I was too exhausted to stop it.

“Understand what?”

“She came back with this new guy. He was old and smelled terrible, and they had been drinking. I only knew a little bit about drugs back then, but I knew when she had run out. When she ran out, it was bad. And that night, it was bad. They were on the couch, and I saw him with his hands all over her, his body on top of her. And her head lolled back, and—”

There was a lump in my throat. I choked it down. I had never told anyone about this, but now I couldn’t help it. It was like a poisonous blister that had been festering for too long, and all I wanted to do was pop it and drain all the poison away.

“And her eyes were just
dead.
Like she didn’t care about him at all, there was nothing there. Nothing but a blank, stupid need. She needed drugs, she needed money, and this was just something that she had to do before she could shoot up again. And I turned and ran away back to the bedroom where Andy was sleeping and I stayed there while it happened.”

I wiped the tears from my eyes, but more spilled over my cheeks.

“This isn’t about you helping me with my business, Lucas. It’s about letting a guy be in control of my happiness. I won’t let that happen. Because if you give me something, you can take it away. And I… I can’t risk that.”

He stood in front of me. His blue eyes gleamed with unshed tears. And then he held out his arms.

“I won’t ever do that to you, Steph,” he said. “Please. Just… please…”

I crumpled into his arms. He folded me up into an embrace that was gentle and firm and good, too good. I didn’t deserve it.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” I sobbed against his chest.

“Shhh,” he said. “It’s okay.”

I gripped his shoulder with my hand as I stifled the sobs that seemed to bubble up, neverending, from the past.

“It’s not okay!” I said. “I can’t keep this up, I can’t.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I do!” I ripped away from his chest and stood at arm’s length. “Rent went up, and if we lose the Perq contract, that’s it! We’re fucking done for! It’ll all be over!”

Lucas still had one hand on my arm, cradling my elbow. It felt so good. I hated that it felt so good. I didn’t want him to be able to make me feel good like that, to have that kind of power over me. He brushed my hair back and looked me right in the face. I’d looked at his eyes before, but never like this.

“Listen to me.”

“What?”

“Remember I told you about my first magazine? Hey, listen. It’s the same thing, Steph.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really. The second time, you know what was different?”

“What?”

“There was an older guy who headed up the editing department for Vogue. He sat me down and told me exactly what I was doing wrong. And he offered to bankroll me if I started again.”

I blinked at Lucas, unsure what he was getting at.

“I didn’t want to take his help, God knows. I wanted to do things my way, without anyone helping.”

That sounded familiar.

“But eventually I broke down and let him help me get started. You can’t do everything yourself, Steph. You just can’t.”

My chin sank down to my chest and sobs shuddered my body. That’s exactly what I’d been doing. I hadn’t even let Andy come in to help me, because I didn’t want him to be as tired as I was. I didn’t let anyone else do anything if I could do it.

He put his hands on mine and kissed my forehead.

“Let me tell you what’s going to happen, okay?”

“Okay.” I hated how weak I sounded.

“I’m going to steal you away from here—”

“No! I have to finish this batch before tomorrow.”

“Shh. Listen. I’m going to steal you away from here and Andy is going to finish for you. And tomorrow you’re going to take my investment capital and hire an assistant and start looking for a new location to expand to.”

“But…”

“Don’t.” Lucas spoke firmly, and I shut my mouth. “When I offered to invest in your company, it’s because I thought you had a good idea going,” Lucas said. “You’re obviously very smart and capable. I want to help you grow your company. But—hey, listen. Listen.”

I choked back another sob and sniffled into his handkerchief.

“It has absolutely nothing to do with you and me personally. It has nothing to do with our relationship. Okay? That’s totally separate. You don’t ever have to go on another date with me again if you don’t want to. I still want to invest in this bakery.”

I burst out in exhausted tears. He was so sweet, and I was the biggest idiot in the world for fucking everything up. Here he had come to talk to me, and I was crying and rambling like a complete moron.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get you to bed.”

I was too tired to even agree with more than a weak nod. I tried to stand up and stumbled. Before I could even straighten myself up, he scooped me up into his arms.

“Lucas—”

“Shhh,” he said. “Shhh. Let me.”

My head fell against his chest. So warm. So strong. I could hear his heart beating as he carried me out of the back bakery and started up the stairs to my apartment. I remember feeling safe, feeling protected, and then my eyes closed and I was asleep before we’d even reached the door.

When I woke up the next morning, I rubbed my eyes. I felt… different. Not tired. I was in my bed, but I didn’t remember going to sleep. Then I saw my clothes piled up on the floor next to my bed. I peeked under the sheets and saw that I was naked.