Mr. Darcy's Forbidden Love-kindle (15 page)

“I am sorry, Fitzwilliam. Having had no children of my own to practice upon, I have no finesse when it comes to parental skills, though God knows I think of you and Georgiana as my own. I can only be honest with you and expect the same in return. Pray tell me, is your present melancholy due to Gisela?” 

“She is always a part of my misery, but no more so than usual.”

“Then I can only surmise that you have fallen in love.”

William’s blue eyes were wide as he gazed up at her. “Wha...what makes you say that?”

“I have watched you very closely since your marriage, Fitzwilliam—mainly because I feared for your sanity. I have seen you persevere in the face of tremendous sorrow and heartache, and I concluded long ago that the one thing that would collapse your carefully constructed house of cards would be for you to fall in love. And I see from the look on your face that you have.”

William moaned, dropping his head back into his hands. When he finally spoke, it was with mumbled resignation. “I cannot let anyone know—not Georgiana and especially not Gisela. Besides, it can amount to nothing. I am married, and she can never be mine.”

“I do not suppose you want to tell me about her?”

“I would rather not. It is hard to persuade my heart not to care when I am constantly reminded of her.”

“Oh, Fitzwilliam, my dear, dear boy!” Audrey Ashcroft leaned down to kiss the top of his head again. “You will learn that the heart cannot be persuaded who to love, or not to love, as the case may be. I know because I never met the man that could replace my beloved Joseph. That is why I have remained a widow all these years.”

She smoothed William’s hair back from his forehead, just as she had when he was a little boy. “It is not too late to divorce that harridan.”

“I cannot. Not until I am sure that Georgiana will not be affected by whatever I choose to do.”

“Your concern for your sister is honourable, Fitzwilliam, but Anne would never have wanted you to sacrifice your life for Georgiana’s.” Lady Ashcroft walked back around the desk, sitting down in the chair once more, before leaning forward to take his hand. “Now, tell me what I can do to ease your suffering?”

“You do too much already, Aunt. But if I had a request, it would be for you to continue to keep Georgiana occupied so that she will not notice my melancholy. I do not wish to burden her with my troubles.”

“I shall do my best, but you know that she notices everything that affects you.” She smiled warmly now. “Lord Landingham has already sent a note asking us to accompany him to the theatre tomorrow. I know Georgiana would love for you to attend with us.”

“I shall attend, though I believe Landingham is most looking forward to being
your
escort.”

William’s aunt chuckled at his tease, “Fitzwilliam Darcy, are you trying to ruffle my feathers, for if you are, you shall be greatly disappointed. I have had many men vie for my hand since I was widowed, and I turned them all down.”

“I would not know about that, Aunt. However, I do know that you seem to enjoy his company and he yours. And I can name no man that I think more highly of than Marshall Landingham.”

“I agree with you that he is a good and decent man, and if I were looking to marry again, he would be at the top of my list.” She stood to leave with a bemused expression. “How is it that this conversation has turned from your love life to mine?”

William was able to smile wanly. “Is love not a fair subject?”

“While love may be a fair subject, love is far from fair,” Audrey Ashcroft replied, a trace of sadness in her voice. “I have found that it most often catches us unaware, comes at the most inopportune times and leaves us vulnerable as babes.” 

At William’s bewildered look, she continued. “However, it is the only thing that makes life worth living. It is obvious that you love your family, but you, my nephew, are a rare breed. You are not like the majority of men who care not which woman warms their bed. You love with all your heart and soul, and you deserve to be loved equally. If you have found that kind of love, I beg you, do not wait too long to embrace it. I had only three years with the love of my life before he was taken from me, so I know how fleeting true happiness can be.”

With those few words of wisdom, she smiled at him lovingly, squeezed his hand, stood and exited the room. William watched her go as he pondered all that she had said.

~~~*~~~

London
Holmes House
The drawing room

Elizabeth could not believe her good fortune. She was sitting in the exquisitely fashioned drawing room of Lady Penelope Holmes, alongside her Aunt Gardiner, paying little attention as the cousins reminisced about their childhood adventures.  The Holmes’ townhouse was situated in the fashionable section of Mayfair, right across the street from Hyde Park, and after getting a glimpse of the fair prospect when they arrived, she longed to escape her aunt’s watch to take a turn about it. But since that was certainly not going to happen today, Elizabeth filed that aspiration away for another time.

Consequently, while the older women were occupied with their memories, she surreptitiously examined the elegantly appointed room and its furnishings more closely as she delighted in such study. The carpets were of forest green, with borders of cream interspersed with multi-coloured flowers and vines which complemented the subtle cream wallpaper, festooned with these same subjects. All the sofas and chairs were upholstered in pale greens and corals, while the wood trim was mahogany, matching the other pieces of furniture. Intricately carved tables were decorated with Dresden figurines, silver pieces and crystal vases of flowers. In fact, Elizabeth noticed that flowers adorned every available surface, many out of season, a sure indication that the townhouse had a conservatory. And as her eyes came to rest on the tall windows which faced the park, Elizabeth had to admit that while she loved the countryside of Hertfordshire, were she to reside in London, this stately home with the large park in close proximity was her idea of heaven.

“Lizzy?” Madeline Gardiner touched her arm.

“I… I am sorry Aunt,” Elizabeth floundered, coming back to the present. “I am afraid I was woolgathering.”

“My cousin asked how you like London.”

Elizabeth turned all her attention to Mrs. Holmes, who looked as though she belonged in one of Lydia’s fashion magazines. Very petite—dainty actually—she looked a lot younger than her age, which Aunt Gardiner had mentioned was five and thirty. She had perfect, ivory complexion, light-brown hair that was scattered with gold tresses and hazel eyes which now danced with mirth as she awaited Elizabeth’s reply.

“I enjoy London very much. Especially spending time with my aunt and uncle and playing with my cousins.”

“That is natural, but surely you enjoy the entertainment. The theatre, the opera, the—” 

At that very moment, the door flew open, and a man and a woman entered the room, a frustrated butler following right behind.

Lady Holmes shook her head in mock disapproval. “Never mind, Chalmers. You must know by now that my cousin never waits to be announced.”

The man, who had an arrogant air about him, appeared to be about three and thirty years of age. He was of medium height with light brown hair, brown eyes and was somewhat portly.  His features were nondescript, with nothing to recommend them. The girl, who was evidently several years younger, had the same colouring and appearance, though she was trim.
     “John! Alfreda! You are early!  What a grand surprise!”  Their hostess rushed to the newcomers, kissing each before introducing them.

“Ladies, may I present my cousins, Lord John Wilkens, Earl of Hampton, and Lady Alfreda Wilkens of Gatesbridge in Kent. They are the children of the late Lord Carlton and Lady Kathleen Wilkens, Walter’s aunt and uncle. And if I remember correctly, Madeline, I wrote to you that Lord Carlton died unexpectedly last year.” 

Mrs. Gardiner, who had stood along with Elizabeth, nodded.

Then addressing the couple, she offered, “This is my cousin, Madeline Gardiner, and her niece, Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”

John Wilkens released his sister’s arm, walking forward until he stood in front of Elizabeth with his hands balled, resting upon his hips. His eyes stayed fixed on her as he examined her pointedly. Then he bowed slightly, addressing her and her aunt. “I am pleased to meet you, Miss Bennet… Mrs. Gardiner.” 

Elizabeth appeared somewhat flustered at his marked attention, but was diverted as Alfreda Wilkens moved forward to take her brother’s arm once more.

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” the girl offered shyly, as she bobbed a curtsey. Recognizing her bashful nature, Elizabeth gave Alfreda a warm smile and received one in return. 

Lady Holmes took advantage of the silence to declare, “Now that my cousin has the management of the estate well in hand, he has time to concentrate on procuring a mistress for Gatesbridge!”

 “Cousin, how often have I asked you not to play the matchmaker? I shall make my own choice,” Wilkens chided Lady Holmes, not even attempting to hide his annoyance.

“I am only informing the ladies,” Lady Holmes rejoined, ignoring his irritation and winking at Elizabeth. “Now, before you entered, I was about to enquire if Miss Bennet would attend the ball the colonel and I are giving next week.” Instantly she covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh, my! How will I ever get used to calling Walter
the earl
, when I have called him
the colonel
so many years?”  

As all the ladies except Elizabeth giggled, as she was still uncomfortable under the earl’s gaze. Lord Wilkens took the opportunity to address her again. “Do say that you shall attend the ball, Miss Bennet, and that I may have the honour of the first set.”

Feeling a bit trapped, Elizabeth cut her eyes to her aunt who instantly declared, “Of course, you shall attend the ball with your uncle and me.”

It was not as though she did not wish to attend, but Elizabeth had a feeling that this gentleman was used to getting his way, and that did not sit well with her. Nevertheless, she was not in a position to refuse.  “I accept your kind invitation to dance, sir.”

He seemed smug after her consent, which caused Elizabeth even more trepidation. But upon noting her aunt’s expression and remembering her promise to Jane to find matches for them both, she forced a smile.

I might as well get down to the business of being all sweetness and light!

Fortuitously, Alfreda Wilkens quickly claimed the seat next to Elizabeth as she sat back down, and they began a conversation, chatting affably while the other occupants of the room talked among themselves. And after almost a quarter-hour, her new friend made a request.

“I would love for you to stay here with me the night before the ball,” Alfreda urged as she covered Elizabeth’s hand with her own. “My cousin has plenty of room, and I often invite friends to stay when I am in Town. If you will say yes, you and I shall sit up late and talk!”

Elizabeth smiled at the thought. She had really missed her late night talks with Jane since she had come to London. “We shall see if that is possible.”

“Marvellous! With your consent, I shall make all the arrangements.”

~~~*~~~

As they rode in the open carriage back to Gracechurch Street, Madeline Gardiner observed as different emotions played across Lizzy’s face. She had gone to some trouble to make sure that they were there when Penelope’s cousins arrived and was disappointed by her niece’s reaction to the earl. In addition, she wondered at her unusual quietness, especially after such a grand adventure as visiting Mayfair, since Lizzy had always enjoyed touring such grand houses in the past. Nevertheless, she felt she must know Lizzy’s opinion of John Wilkens, as she had held high hopes of him admiring either her or Jane.

When asked her opinion of the earl, Elizabeth immediately ceased pretending to study the people in the nearby park and met her aunt’s gaze steadfastly, not unaware of why she was asking.

“I… I suppose he is a proper gentleman. I really did not have time to sketch his character. His sister, however, is so pleasant that she reminds me of Jane.”

“Yes, Alfreda is a sweet girl. I had no doubt that you and she would be fast friends. However, I have heard many good things from Penelope about her nephew, as well. He assumed a great deal of responsibility with his father’s death, and as his mother passed years ago, there is only he and his sister left. Nevertheless, I have been told that he has done an admirable job of running the estate, caring for Alfreda and taking his place as the earl.”

Elizabeth studied her aunt for a long time. “And you are telling me this because you want me to try to gain his attention?”

“You have already gained his attention, Lizzy. What I am saying is simply give the man a chance and see how things progress.”

Elizabeth turned to face the park again, the look on her face and the sigh she released evidence of her misgivings.

Mrs. Gardiner hurried to caution, “You and your sisters have little dowry, no connections and heaven knows your mother and younger sisters behave atrociously at times, all of which will not be overlooked by the
ton
.” 

As Elizabeth acknowledged these points with barely a nod, her aunt pressed her case. “Most of society will reject you and Jane outright because of these misfortunes, but John Wilkens has no parents or close relations to please, other than Alfreda, and she warmed to you quickly. This is a great opportunity. Do you understand?”

“He can marry whomever he chooses, so I would be wise to accept him if he offers.”

Mrs. Gardiner’s shoulders visibly relaxed, and she released a breath she had been holding. “Precisely! Why else do you think you are in London but to secure a husband? And if you were to marry an earl, then Jane would have a much greater chance of marrying well and your other sisters would follow, not to mention the fact that a wealthy man can take over Fanny’s care if your father should die.” 

She leaned over to take her niece’s hand. “You know that your uncle and I value you and Jane for the fine young women that you are, and we certainly do not wish you to be unhappy. But Lizzy you must be practical. It is just as easy to learn to care for a wealthy man as a poor one, and you will be doing your family a great service.”