Mr. Darcy's Forbidden Love-kindle (58 page)

“You may. I promise.”

William stepped back to her, placing a kiss on her forehead and then embraced her tightly. “I must find Miss Elizabeth and express my appreciation for all that she has done for us.”

“Then go, Brother. I am certain that she will be eager to see you again.”

“I pray you are right.”

Georgiana watched him leave, following his progress through the sitting room and out into the hall. A lump formed in her throat as she considered how diligently he had cared for her since their parents’ deaths and how badly she had disappointed him. A fresh pool of tears rolled silently down her face as she vowed never to disobey him again.

~~~*~~~

The Library

Since sending a maid after his aunt and entering the vacant library, Fitzwilliam Darcy had employed his usual method of dealing with anger— generating a steady cadence with his boots on the parquet floor near the hearth. As he stalked, his steps kept pace with the pounding of his heart, and he ran his hands through his hair absently. The slow burn that had begun deep inside when Georgiana spoke of Wilkens’ assault of Elizabeth had turned into a raging fire.

If he could be thankful for anything, it was that his aunt was not there to tell him to stop pacing, for he did not think it was possible for him to cease. He had tried to keep his anger under good regulation since learning of Wickham’s scheme and Elizabeth and Marshall’s injuries, concerned that Georgiana would learn just how angry he could become. But learning of additional injuries to Elizabeth at Wilkens’ hand had pushed him past his storied control.

Elizabeth, how can I protect you? I cannot claim you for my own, and I cannot bear to see you hurt!

After reading his aunt’s account of what transpired that day at Ramsgate, his hatred for George Wickham had consumed him, and he had pondered penalties worthy of that blackguard. But it was one thing to read of an assault and quite another to see the results. Landingham’s scalp featured a long bloody crease, evidence of the shot that would have killed him had it been a hair to the left. The sight of that wound drove home just how close he came to losing a man that he loved like a father.

And to think that Elizabeth could have been the one shot and that she bore the evidence of assaults by Wickham and Wilkens made him weak in the knees. Would he be able to compose himself before she came into the room? If not, he was certain that his behaviour would frighten her.

Calm down! You cannot help her as long as you pace about as a madman!

At just that moment, there was a rap at the door, and he stopped dead still. A maid entered, curtseyed silently to him and then began to light the numerous candelabras about the room as daylight was beginning to fade. Immediately when she had finished and was about to depart, he addressed her.

“My aunt—have you seen her?”

“No, sir. Last I heard she was going to the lake to fetch Miss Bennet.”

Curtseying once more, she quit the room as silently as she had entered and closed the door soundly. Left on his own, William lapsed into his former activity and was startled when there was another rap on the door. 

~~~*~~~

Ashcroft Park

It was late afternoon, and Elizabeth had circled the entire lake and rambled through most of the gardens. All the while, a dutiful footman had discretely followed about a hundred feet behind. She had not protested his presence as she normally would, because she had not wished to argue the point with her hostess. Still, after walking for the better part of three hours, she was just as unsure of her mind as when she had begun. Only now the wind was picking up, a gusty breeze doing its part to impede her progress, and she was quite certain that, had she not held it in place, her bonnet would have taken flight with the last strong gale.

She wrapped her arms around her waist at a sudden chill—whether from the wind or what occupied her mind, she was uncertain. But eyeing the tumultuous sky to the north with its darkening clouds and hearing the distant sound of thunder, she decided that she had best return to the manor and turned in that direction. Perhaps, she thought, she might slip inside and have a few more minutes to herself before anyone noticed her presence. In any event, there was no way she was going to let the footman suffer the weather on her account.

Silence was what she had sought. Ever desirous of evaluating what to do about Fitzwilliam the next time they met, she had no doubt that he would be waiting for her when they reached Town. Having grown quite fond of Georgiana as well as Fitzwilliam’s aunt, she knew it would be hard to maintain a friendship with them if she could not foresee a future with him. It would be too painful being near him but not truly being
with
him. Her heart fluttered at the thought.

Be still!
She admonished her most traitorous member
. Just because I am in love does not mean I have the right to rush into his arms. I have to remember my duty to my sisters.

Instantly she pictured him as he had looked that day in London, when he confessed his love for her, and her resolve collapsed along with her stoic expression. For she could not deny that from that day on her efforts
not
to love him had failed utterly and completely. Against all her strength, her very will, he possessed her heart. It was his gentle expression, gazing at her as though she were his whole world, that she imagined whenever Wilkens had belittled her. Moreover, his love had sustained her throughout the horrible ordeal at Gatesbridge. For during that endless night, his voice was the one she heard imploring her not to quit… to persevere… to come back to him.

Despite all your talk of duty, your greatest fear is that you will no longer be able to refuse him when you meet again.
At that realisation, she came to a complete halt.
Then how shall I ever face him?

In the reflection that followed, a greeting wafted over the wind, and she looked up to see Lady Ashcroft coming in her direction. As the gap closed between them, the Mistress of Ashcroft Park dismissed the footman with a wave of her hand, and when he was sufficiently out of range, she began to speak.

“Goodness! From the strength of the winds, there will be quite a storm.”

Elizabeth nodded, inspecting the sky anew. Her wish to be alone a while longer was not to be, and she accepted it with some disappointment.

“I have good news! At least it pleases me. But I want you to tell me truthfully how you feel about it.” Elizabeth waited expectantly, so Lady Ashcroft put an arm around her shoulder and began to direct her back to the house. “My nephew, Fitzwilliam, is here.” Elizabeth’s posture stiffened a little so she offered, “I pray that his presence will not disturb you. He came to escort Georgiana—well, all of us—back to London. I believe you know him well enough to understand how protective he is of those he loves.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath and sighed. “He has a right to be protective of his sister, especially after what has happened. It is just…”

“Just?” Lady Ashcroft urged gently.

“I… I care so deeply for him, but I do not understand how our situation can ever change.” She blinked to keep from crying. “I will not be his mistress. I could not bear to share so little of his life or the shame it would bring upon me and my family.” She added softly, “Not to mention any children.”

Audrey turned Elizabeth so that they faced each other. “I assure you that he would never ask that of you. He is not the kind of man to take a mistress, and he loves you dearly. Do you remember the first time I met you in the park?” Elizabeth nodded. “I told you then that he had decided to seek a divorce. Well, he has already taken the first steps. The evidences of Gisela’s infidelities are numerous and so are the witnesses. In addition, he has the support of many members of the House of Lords as well as the archbishop, so it will come to pass. It may take years, but eventually, he will be granted a divorce.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “But what of the letters of extortion used to secure him?”

“The basis for the extortion will no longer exist in a short while, so they will be useless. But let me be perfectly honest. I would be remiss if I did not caution you that it would not be an easy path should you decide to love him. It could mean years of uncertainty and mockery. Nevertheless, as someone who knows him well, I am convinced that you would never regret it.”

“I am certain there would be a scandal if anyone so much as suspected we were in love,” Elizabeth murmured, searching the distant horizon for answers.

“You are correct. If word reached the
ton
of your relationship, they would rip you to shreds in their parlours as well as in the gossip sheets. And I have no doubt that Gisela would shout it from the housetops if she ever suspected that Fitzwilliam loved you, even though she has had at least seven lovers that I am aware of since their marriage. In any event, in our society, married men are allowed to have mistresses, so long as they are discreet, while the women who are their mistresses are vilified.”

Elizabeth tried to correct her. “But, I said that I would never—”

“No one would ever believe that, Elizabeth. You would be branded a fallen woman by society, and regrettably, your sisters would be affected by the scandal. On the other hand, my nephew is very wealthy, well able to supplement their dowries and see to it they are introduced to decent men, respectable men. Despite the consequences, your sisters would probably be better situated than they are at present and much better off than being bartered to men like Wilkens for wealth and connections.”

Noting Elizabeth’s countenance fall even further at the mention of being bartered, Audrey added sympathetically, “Forgive me if I have offended you, but when we first met, you stressed that you
had
to marry well for your family’s sake, so I assumed that none of you have large dowries.”

The nodding of Elizabeth’s head was the only confirmation.

“Furthermore, if you and Fitzwilliam were to marry, the
ton
would soon lose interest and move on to the next scandal. And you may rely on this—I will stand by you, along with most of our family and those who are our true friends.”

“Most of your family?”

“My oldest sister, Catherine, would never accept or support anyone that Fitzwilliam desired.” Audrey tried to jest. “But every family has to have at least one aberration. It keeps us from becoming too conceited.”

Her ploy worked, as Elizabeth did manage a small smile.

“Fitzwilliam has many powerful friends who value him and would never shun him for seeking a divorce. In fact, a good many, knowing that he was entrapped, have already encouraged him to seek one.”

“I assume that he would like to speak to me.”

“I am to bring you to the library so you can talk. However, if that is not acceptable to you, you may return to your room to prepare for dinner. Even so, he will want to thank you for helping Georgiana. I will be pleased to accompany you, if you do not wish to be alone with him, and I assure you that he will not seek further contact with you if you do not wish it.”

“I do not fear being alone with him,” Elizabeth offered. “It is for my heart that I fear.”

Suddenly feeling protective, Audrey pulled Elizabeth into a motherly embrace.

“I completely understand. It is a difficult decision. But please consider one other argument.  What were the results of trying to please your family? What fate would have befallen you had you accepted an offer from John Wilkens weeks ago? Your lively nature would never have survived under his dominion. I truly believe he would have destroyed you before he would have let you break an engagement, and if the man became so violent while in public, one can only imagine how brutal he would have become in private after marriage. Sadly, he embodies most men of the
ton
. I should know, as I have been an observer of them my entire life.”

Her expression softened. “Nonetheless, would you believe me if I told you that in every generation there are a few men who treasure a woman as a gift from God.” Her eyes suddenly became shiny. “My Joseph was such a man. So is Fitzwilliam.”

Elizabeth’s eyes grew wet as well. “I knew that he was very special the first time we met.” They stood perfectly still until she whispered, “I shall talk to him… alone.”

Audrey Ashcroft hugged her. “I had hoped you would. Now, let us return to the house before we are drenched.”

~~~*~~~

Having decided to change into a more elegant gown before seeing Fitzwilliam, Elizabeth looked truly beautiful in an emerald green sateen creation when she emerged from her bedroom to find Lady Audrey waiting for her in the hallway. Baring her shoulders and designed with a lower bodice than her day gowns, it fit snugly from her décolletage to her waist and drew attention to her generous bosom, small waist and perfectly rounded hips. The garnet cross her father had given her for her sixteenth birthday hung just above the hollow of her breasts. And, while her lush curls were pulled up to form a halo on top of her head, held by combs on both sides, the balance hung in ringlets down her back. 

“You look lovely, Elizabeth!” her hostess exclaimed as she took the young woman’s hands and then stretched out her arms to examine her. “I am so glad you decided to change gowns.  This one is stunning.”

Elizabeth’s nervous smile went unobserved as a close clap of thunder made known that the storm she had seen earlier was almost upon them.

“Come, Fitzwilliam may fear that you are still out in this weather.”

Lady Ashcroft proceeded towards the library, and as they progressed through the manor, Elizabeth began to note the servants busily lighting candles along the way, as the approaching clouds hid the sun. When at length they stood before the elaborately carved double doors, Lady Audrey paused dramatically to take one last look at her charge before rapping loudly, immediately opening one side and entering, leading Elizabeth in by her hand. The combination of the storm and the heavy damask drapes had left the room in darkness, save for the candles reflected in the enormous matching mirrors hung on all sides of the room. Their flickering flames pranced across the walls and ceiling, giving the place a magical appeal.