Mr. Darcy's Forbidden Love-kindle (7 page)

Bingley interrupted impatiently, “This is not the time to be restrained, Darcy. He thinks you are a cad of the worst kind! At least tell him that you have never lived with that woman, that she is your wife in name only!”

With Charles’ disclosure, Mr. Bennet sat back down, his anger diminishing a bit as he studied the obviously uneasy young man before him. “I pride myself on being able to sketch a man’s character, and from our first meeting, I believed you to be a gentleman.  If there is any explanation for your behaviour, I am ready to listen to it now.”

William sat down wearily, dropped his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes. He was not used to sharing his personal affairs with anyone, certainly not a perfect stranger. Nevertheless, he admired Mr. Bennet’s determination to protect his daughter, just as he had always tried to protect Georgiana. They were kindred spirits in that regard and it pained him that Mr. Bennet might think him less than honourable in his intentions towards Elizabeth. Having resolved the issue in his heart, he lifted his head. “I will tell you the situation regarding my marriage, if you will swear never to reveal a word of it to anyone. You have to understand that this is very difficult for me, as I love my parents, flawed though they were.” 

“You have my word as a gentleman.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, William began. “A little over two years ago, before my father died, I was in London with him. One afternoon while I was at my club, I received a summons to an unfamiliar address, ostensibly to assist my father. When I arrived at this townhouse, I found him being treated by a physician for a sudden heart ailment. The house belonged to a widow, Lady Gisela Grantham, with whom I
was
familiar. I met her about six months before at a dinner party, where she was brazen enough to follow me onto a balcony and suggest we have an affair. I refused but she would not take no for an answer. She began to appear wherever I happened to be—dinner parties, the opera, even Hyde Park—and repeated her offer. That was when I realised that I had to be blunt. I told her plainly that I could never be interested in someone like her, and she was the last woman in the world I would bed. Apparently, she had decided to retaliate against me by seducing my father. I had him transported to our townhouse as soon as it was feasible, and when he was able to travel, I took him home to our estate, Pemberley, in Derbyshire.

“A little over a month later, this woman had the audacity to come to Pemberley. Luckily, I was able to intercept her and direct her into the study where she informed me that she was carrying my father’s child. She demanded that I marry her or she would see to it that my mother learned of the paternity of the child. At that time, my mother was in very ill health and would likely not have survived this revelation. I also had the welfare of a twelve-year-old sister to consider. After discussing the matter with my father, I was told that the child could indeed be his. Thus, I felt I was left with no choice but to purchase her silence with marriage, howbeit a marriage in name only.

“Three months after the marriage, my father’s weakened heart failed and he died, and my mother expired shortly thereafter. By then it was obvious that Gisela was not with child, so I instructed my solicitor to begin drawing up the documents to annul the marriage. That was when she produced a letter written by my mother that would seal my fate.”

William stood quickly, moving to the windows to stare out into the gardens as he continued.  “I was shown only an excerpt, but I recognised her handwriting. How Gisela could have come into possession of it is a mystery.”  He hesitated, his voice barely discernable. “Nothing that I will relate to you now can change the fact that my mother was the most gentle, kind and godly person I have ever known. She put her family’s needs above her own, and I will always revere her memory.” Looking over his shoulder, he saw Mr. Bennet nod so he continued.

“Before my father’s death, he spoke to me of his relationship with my mother, including the miscarriages she had suffered. He credited his fear that she would perish if she had another child as the impetus for his liaisons with other women, although I refuted that justification
.
In any event, he said that because of his seeming abandonment of her, my mother had sought solace with another man—an old friend that he refused to name and who fathered Georgiana. Apparently the letter Gisela acquired names my sister’s father, and she swears that if I attempt to sever the marriage, she will make this information public.”

William turned, his voice rising as he walked towards Mr. Bennet. “My parents’ deaths were a cruel blow from which Georgiana is just now recovering. As her sole guardian, I refuse to let anything else destroy her.”

“So you have no relationship with this woman—your
wife
?”

“Our arrangement specifies that she live at her own residences, an estate in Derbyshire and a townhouse in London that she inherited from her late husband, Lord Grantham. It stipulates that there will be no children from our marriage. I, in turn, pay all expenses for the residences and give her an allowance. She has my name, not my respect or my love.”

“And now? Surely you want a son to inherit Pemberley?”

“Georgiana and her children are allowed to inherit Pemberley. That is how it has always been.”

The older man studied William intently. “It seems you have taken upon yourself burdens that were not yours to bear, all in order to protect your family. I can respect you for that, but I do not feel you were entirely honest with my daughter or me. Why were you silent regarding your marriage when you arrived in Meryton? ”

William stared wistfully at the sun now rising over the horizon. “The question never arose, but had it, I would not have lied.” He turned to face his accuser. “From the moment I met your daughter, I was captivated by her intelligence and unaffected manner. Against my better judgement, I convinced myself that we could be friends. Yet, when you and I talked at the ball, it was obvious that you had already recognized deeper feelings—feelings I had not acknowledged. And I knew that if you had discerned my admiration, then she most likely had or would. Rather than hurt her, I determined that I must leave Meryton immediately. That was the purpose of my being out so late yesterday—to finish the survey.”

“Oddly, I believe you.”

“I am gratified that you do, for it is the truth.”

“And you do not want Elizabeth or anyone else to know what you have told me.” 

William blinked several times, trying to control his widely swinging emotions. “Above all, I do not want
her
to know.” 

“May I ask why?”

William grew solemn. “I believe that she may harbour feelings of… gratitude for my help last night. And because she is so very young, she may mistake those feelings for more. I have found her to be very kind, and if she knew the truth about my situation, she would likely pity me—want to befriend me.”

“She may never suspect you are married. No mention of it was made at the ball, and as far as I know, it has not been made public. Even my wife, who knows all the gossip, believes you are single.”

“Bingley and his family are most likely the only ones in Meryton who know, though my marriage and the circumstances surrounding it are well-documented in the gossip sheets of London. However, like the rest of the
ton
, Caroline Bingley prefers to think that I am available, and she perpetrates the lie that I am hers for the taking—thus people believe I am single. Apparently she is under the delusion that I shall eventually be free, and she will be my choice.”

Charles groaned audibly and shook his head.

“I apologise, Charles.”

“It is the truth, Darcy. Much as I hate to admit it, Caroline is just that foolish.”

“In any event, she will not spread that fact here, nor will Louisa, so hopefully there will be no need to inform Elizabeth of my
unusual
marriage.”

“You were leaving before this unfortunate incident. Is that still your plan?”

“Yes. I believe that Miss Elizabeth will consider us, at the least, good friends after the ordeal we shared last evening, but it would best serve her interests if she does not. Therefore, I shall leave straightaway.”

Mr. Bennet nodded.  “I have to say that I am impressed with your concern for my Elizabeth. I am relieved to know that I was not wrong—I did sketch your character correctly the first time. I ask you to accept my heartfelt thanks for rescuing her. You likely saved her life.”

“There is no reason to thank me for doing what any man would. And please accept my apology, as it was foolish of me to think we could be friends. After getting to know Miss Elizabeth better, I realise that I would never have been satisfied with so little.”

“I believe your foolishness lies in thinking you can instruct your heart whom to love.”

“You may be right.”

“At some point you will know for certain that I am.”

~~~*~~~

Netherfield
The next day

It was early morning, but William’s coach was packed and ready to leave. Four footmen and the driver, in their finest livery, stood at attention in the morning mist beside the imposing coach. Matching sets of greys pawed the ground in anticipation of beginning the journey, occasionally shaking their heads and snorting, their breath visible in the chilly morning air.  Mr. Foster, William’s driver, surreptitiously kept his eyes trained on the portico where the master stood talking with Mr. Bingley.

On the portico, Charles had closed the door as he exited so that the butler and footman just inside could not hear. He tried not to smile as he teased, “By the way, I have to ask. Caroline told me last night that she wants to return to London straightaway so I told her to pack her bags. Would you mind letting her and her maid ride back to London with you?”

William tensed, readying a sharp reply before catching the gleam in Bingley’s eye and beginning to smile. “Thank you, Charles. I needed that to brighten my spirits.” 

Slowly the smile was replaced with a look of remorse. “I feel absolutely horrid for leaving without saying goodbye to Miss Elizabeth.  If I have caused her any pain…” Ceasing as his voice cracked, William managed to murmur roughly, “I have never felt this much for any woman, Charles.”

Bingley placed a hand on his friend’s arm. “I admire your courage and resolve, Darcy. I am not sure that I could sacrifice as you have, even to protect my family.”

William’s next words were barely above a whisper.  “See that she is taken care of—for me.”

“You have my word.” 

William smiled wanly as he turned and began to walk briskly down the steps, Charles sighed. 
I pray the future holds more happiness for you than the past, my friend.

“Mount up!”  Mr. Foster called, and in seconds all the men were in place except for Jones, who held the door for his master. By the time William was settled in the seat, the crack of a whip stirred the horses. As he leaned out the window to wave to Charles, William caught a glimpse of Caroline standing in the doorway of a small balcony on the second floor. It appeared that she was clad only in her night clothes, and he pretended he had not seen her. Settling back into the comfortable cushions of his conveyance, William closed his eyes while his mind swirled, revisiting the conversation he had had with Charles in the library late the night before.

“I hate that you are leaving so soon, Darcy. I feel that it is my fault for allowing Caroline to barge in on us,” Charles handed William a glass of brandy and watched him walk to the hearth and study the flames.“While I dearly hate Caroline’s manoeuvrings, you know I must leave Meryton because of my stupidity. I should never have tried to pursue a friendship with Miss Elizabeth. I knew it would never work, but I let my heart overrule my reason.”

“You are just a man, Darcy. Try not to be too hard on yourself.”

“I am old enough to know better. Eliz… Miss Elizabeth is very young and impressionable, and the thought that I may have caused her pain will lie heavy on my conscience. If her heart was touched, as was mine, leaving without saying goodbye will cause her to despise me and rightly so.”

“I was heartened at Mr. Bennet’s acceptance of your personal physician’s assistance, as it appears he believed your account of the incident and has forgiven you.”

William chuckled mirthlessly, never turning. “Yes, he was definitely kinder when we left Longbourn than when we arrived. As for Mr. Meacham, I was not about to let the local apothecary attend Miss Elizabeth.” He looked over his shoulder at Bingley. “Are you sure that you do not mind that he will be staying at Netherfield? He should arrive late this evening or in the morning.”

“Of course not! I am pleased to have him under my roof.”

“It is just as well that I received the post from the retired solicitor Mr. Barton hired, requesting my presence in London. Unfortunately, Mr. Lowell has a habit of not explaining anything in his letters, which leaves me conjuring up the worst possible outcome. I do not expect the man to talk of particulars, but he could at least say whether things are going well with his investigation of the joint venture.”

“I pray Lowell’s news is nothing dreadful, as you have had your fair share of misery. I am still awaiting word from the investigator Barton recommended to look into the ship lost with all my goods aboard. One cannot run a successful mercantile without goods, and the stock in my warehouse in Liverpool is getting sparse, what with the loss. If you would, ask Mr. Barton if he has heard from Mr. Carter.”

“I will certainly do that, and my offer of a loan to replace the loss at sea still stands.” 

Charles walked over to pat William’s shoulder. “As we discussed, I have no need for it at this time, but I appreciate the gesture.”

William nodded, continuing, “In any event, I got a letter from my Aunt Audrey right before I left London. She will be bringing Georgiana back to Town in another week or so, so I would have returned then in any event.”