Mr. Hollywood (Celebrity #1) (31 page)

“
Deal!
”
he said, extending his hand toward
me and I shook it.

“
Deal,
”
I replied, smiling. I was really
looking forward to spending some time alone with him and hearing about
everything that had happened over the last ten days. After an extreme amount of
sex, that was.

It was funny. I
’
d gone ten years without it. Now
ten days seemed like the worst kind of torture. I
’
d
barely been with him and already I craved him.

We had so much to catch up on.

“Rumors Still
Swirling about Z McCartney and Possible Stay In Rehab: Is He an Addict?”

 
~
Globe
Movie News
~

Chapter Twenty-Four

Z

Dr. Wilson greeted us at the door to his office.
“
Hello, you two. It
’
s nice to see you both. Come on in.
”
Holding the door open wider, the
doctor stepped aside and I guided Aubrey in, my hand never leaving the small of
her back. Goose bumps flared across her skin as I continued to draw circles
with my thumb against her spine. I loved that I could make her react to my
touch in that manner.

“
Aubrey,
”
Dr. Wilson continued on.
“
I really hate to spring this on
you, especially after you made the effort to come to the session, but I spoke
with Andy, who is joining us this morning. He
’
d
actually feel more comfortable if it were just Zane and myself in the session
together. Would you mind sitting this one out? If you
’
d like your own session together
still, I can see if we can squeeze in something later today, or we can just do
something on a different day altogether.
”

“
I
didn
’
t really have anything I needed to
add,
”
she replied.
“
Mainly, I was just coming to
support Zane and listen to anything he might need to tell me.
”

“
We
can do that later ourselves, in private,
”
I added, my hand drifting
lower and patting her ass.
“
I don
’
t
think we need any kind of mediator. I feel safe with Aubrey
—
hopefully she feels the same with
me.
”
I pinched her, struggling not to
laugh when she tried not to flinch.

She cast an
“
attempted
”
hard glare in my direction, but I
could still see the humor twinkling in her eyes.
“
Are
you going to be all right?
”
Concern was evident in her
voice.

“
Sure,
especially knowing you
’
re waiting for me. I really am
sorry about all this. I wouldn
’
t have dragged you down here had I
known.
”

“
You
didn
’
t drag me anywhere. I
’
m happy to be here. And if you
’
d left without me coming to get
you, I
’
d have been upset. I want to be
involved in your care and help however I can.
”

Her words made me love her even more. Even after
everything I
’
d thrown at her, the fact that she
’
d managed to forgive me repeatedly
told me exactly what kind of person she was. I just hoped I
’
d grow to be the man she really
deserved, because she deserved everything that was good in the world. I wanted
to be the one to give it to her
—
in more ways than one.

Damn.
I couldn
’
t seem to keep my thoughts away
from sex very long when she was around. As soon as I had a good break in my
schedule, I wanted to whisk her away to some luxurious secluded place and spend
days
—
weeks even
—
worshipping her body in every
single possible way I could come up with.

I had no problem giving up the multitude of women in
my past for Aubrey. No one had ever compared to her. But I did like sex and
needed a lot of it. I was looking forward to having all those sexual needs
fulfilled by her, over and over again.

Damn it, my dick was already rising to the occasion. I
needed to think about something else.
“
Do you want to go wait in my room?
”
I asked.
“
You said things were crazy at home.
Maybe you could take a nap here where it
’
s quiet, until I
’
m able to leave.
”
The idea of her lying on my bed
wasn
’
t helping the growing condition in
my pants.

“
Actually,
that sounds really wonderful. It
’
s been an exhausting time and very
emotional too, with everything going on.
”

“
Perfect,
”
Dr. Wilson exclaimed.
“
We
’
ll let you know as soon as we are finished.
”

“
It
’
s no problem, really.
”

Dr. Wilson ushered Audrey back through the door and
she paused, glancing back at me.
“
Good luck, Zane. You
’
ve got this.
”

“
Thank
you,
”
I replied with a smile and she
disappeared around the corner. I was sad to see her go, even though she wouldn
’
t be far away. I had no idea what
the next hour might hold for me, but anything I had to go through would
’
ve definitely been easier on me
with her at my side. She was good for me. She soothed and relaxed me
—
I glanced down briefly at my
tenting pants
—
well, most of me anyway. Some parts
of me were constantly at full attention when she was around.

Quickly moving to the couch, I sat in my traditional
place and dropped my hands to cover the giant tower my cock was apparently
erecting to Aubrey. Blowing out a breath, I searched for something else to
capture my attention.

“
Feeling
nervous?
”
Dr. Wilson asked, totally
misreading my sigh, but I ran with it anyway. It was the distraction I needed.

“
Actually,
yes. I
’
ve not seen this man since that
day. If I were in his shoes, I wonder if I would
’
ve
agreed to meet me. Personally, I think that says a whole lot about the strength
of his character, and nothing very good about mine.
”

Dr. Wilson shook his head.
“
I disagree. Don
’
t pressure yourself, Zane. Just
because you reacted badly to something doesn
’
t
mean you didn
’
t react honestly. While I
’
m definitely not advocating
assault, some people who have suffered trauma
—
even
emotional trauma, like you
’
ve had
—
respond to situations differently
than others might.

“
Think
of it this way. We
’
re all hard wired by our previous
experiences. Everything we go through shapes us into who we are right now, in
this minute. And this minute here will define us in future minutes to come.
True, you reacted to this in a violent manner that caused a lot of harm, but
that
’
s because you were conditioned to
react that way by your subconscious, which is constantly trying to protect you
from perceived threats.

“
This
is why we, as therapists, try to guide people away from such terms as right or
wrong, or good and bad. Those terms are all subjective to the user. There is no
absolute
—
only what we perceive to be
absolute. In a perfect world, everyone would be left to decide for themselves
what they consider to be right or wrong, or good and bad, without outside
influences. It
’
s not a perfect world though, and
every time we come in contact with someone we immediately begin sharing
information
—
whether it be through our style of
clothing, or how we look, how we act, etcetera. During that information
exchange, we begin to form an initial impression of where we think the person
we
’
re observing fits into society.

“
My
assumption of you could be completely and totally inaccurate, but in that
moment of time I
’
m drawing conclusions based on what
I know about you.

“
When
you woke up that fateful morning, you used the information you had available to
make your assumption.
”

“
Yeah,
the wrong assumption,
”
I grumbled.

“
Was
it wrong? Should you have taken more time to gather facts? Probably, but you
were in a fight or flight mode
—
that crucial second where you
decide to act or run. You acted .
 
.
 
. which also says a lot about your
character. It doesn
’
t tell me you
’
re awful. It tells me you were
ready to fight for what you believed was right. There is no dishonor in trying
to protect yourself from what you perceived as a threat.
”

His words made sense, and I stayed silent, listening
and attempting to absorb what he was trying to tell me.

“
What
I might consider bad behavior, you might think is fine
—
or vice versa. When we try to
purposely label everything we only make life more difficult for ourselves. I
think it would be better to focus on how something makes you feel as an
individual.

“
Do
your actions bring you peace, joy, or happiness? Or does it make you feel
guilty, depressed, and cause you to lose your own self worth? Our body, mind,
and spirit are constantly telling us which way to go. Everything about each of
us is individual and unique. We all have different ideas about what is best and
how to do things. Do what
’
s right for you
—
not just what
’
ll bring you a few moments of
gratification
—
do the things that will shape you
into the person you want to be in the next minutes of your life. Everything you
’
re thinking right now is shaping
your life and the outcome.
”

There were a few short moments of silence
—
profound silence, I
’
d even say
—
as his words sunk into my heart and
mind. I understood everything he was telling me, and was amazed I
’
d never seen things in this light
before. The whole time I
’
d been wallowing in my depression,
I
’
d simply been bringing more of the
same into my life.

Thoughts were powerful, and they could and did shape
the lives of every single living being on this planet. And if it all boiled
down to thoughts, then I needed to change mine for the better and quit focusing
on everything that had gone wrong in my past and start focusing on what could
go right in my present and future.

Suddenly, I felt as if a whole new world had opened up
for me to explore and I couldn
’
t wait to get started as excitement
flooded through me. Anything was possible
—
everything was possible
—
it simply had to start with how I
viewed things. It was as if someone had flipped a light switch of understanding
on in my head.

A clapping sound filled the air and both of us turned
to the open doorway. My pulse rate spiked when I realized it was Andy Scott. I
hadn
’
t seen him since that day and I
wasn
’
t sure what the tone of this
meeting would be.