Read Murder With Peacocks Online
Authors: Donna Andrews
Tags: #Women detectives, #Humorous stories, #Reference, #Mystery & Detective, #Weddings, #General, #Mystery fiction, #Murder, #Langslow; Meg (Fictitious character), #Women Sleuths, #Yorktown (Va.), #Women detectives - Virginia - Yorktown, #Fiction
I shut up so he could save his breath for carrying me. Mother, Dad, Jake, and Mrs. Fenniman were sitting on the porch chatting when he staggered up with me.
"Someone should get over to the Brewsters' house right away," Michael ordered. "Apparently all the guests are dropping like flies from food poisoning. Don't worry, I'll take care of Meg."
All four of them took off immediately. Even, wonder of wonders, Mother. Dad had his ever-ready black bag, so I figured I could stop worrying about the others. Michael carried me upstairs, correctly figured out from my feeble gestures which bathroom I wanted and deposited me there just in time.
It was a long night. About the time I thought I had finished throwing up, some of the neighbors began setting off their fireworks, and for some reason that set me off again. Maybe it wasn't the neighbors' fault; maybe I was destined to get the dry heaves at about that point anyway, but the light hurt my eyes, the noise made my headache worse, and I wasn't in the mood for celebrating anything.
I think Dad came by once or twice to check on me. Michael stuck it out to the end, holding my head when I threw up, and then always ready with a glass of water, a clean washcloth, or a cold compress. It's a good thing it's Michael seeing you puking, I told myself, and not Mr. Right. I couldn't bear to think of Mr. Right, whoever he might turn out to be, seeing me heave my guts up seventeen times in succession. It was embarrassing enough having Michael see it.
Tuesday, July 5
I spent the next day in bed, as did most of the rest of the guests at the shower. I was one of the lucky ones; some of the other guests had also had diarrhea and convulsions. Dad had to send some of the worst cases off to the hospital. To Mrs. Brewster's complete mortification, the local paper ran a story about the incident, making it sound a great deal more hilarious than any of us in attendance thought it had been. I slept a lot. Mother and Eileen were too worried about me to mention any of the thousand tasks that weren't getting done, and Samantha was in the hospital. What a pity I spent most of this unexpected respite sleeping. And playing with the kitten, since no one had found the time to take him back to Mrs. Thornhill.
Wednesday, July 6
Perhaps the worst thing about being sick in bed is that everyone knows exactly where to find you. Barry attempted to smother me with attention. Dad shooed him out as often as possible, along with various neighborhood ladies who dropped by to report how bravely poor Samantha was holding up and how she was still doing everything she could to keep the wedding plans moving. Since the only thing I could discover she'd done was call me up three or four times to issue new orders and complain about the things I hadn't felt well enough to get done, a certain lack of cordiality tended to creep into these conversations.
But Dad liked Michael, or at least found him entertaining, and so didn't shoo him away as he did with most of the people who came to visit. In fact, Michael made me feel much better by reporting that he had convinced Mother that the blue fabric still in hiding at Pam's was the perfect thing for the living room, if only it could be found. He brushed away my repeated grateful thanks--about the fabric and his nursing services--and regaled me with the outrageous antics of the various bridal parties who'd been in and out of the shop all week. I was actually in a reasonably good mood when Dad dropped by with news that only he would have considered cheering for a recovering invalid.
"It wasn't food poisoning, you know," he said, with enthusiasm.
"Then what was it?" I asked. "Surely we weren't all simultaneously overcome with the force of Samantha's personality? After all, she was a victim, too."
Michael sniggered, but Dad, full of his news, ignored my sarcasm.
"Some sort of vegetable alkaloid in the salsa," he said.
"How does that differ from food poisoning?" I asked.
"It wasn't something that ought to have been in the salsa to begin with," Dad explained. "Probably something in the amaryllis family. I've had the residue sent to the ME in Richmond, but we may not be able to tell much more. It was out in the heat rather a long time before anyone thought to preserve it."
"How remiss of me," I said. "Poor Pam! She must be frantic; it was her secret recipe for the salsa, after all."
"The sheriff and I have both questioned Pam about the salsa, and it's hard to see how she could have done it by accident," Dad said. "The dishes she used to prepare it were still in her kitchen and showed no traces of poison, so it must have been added after she put it in the two serving bowls. And none of the kids admit to having played any tricks with it, and I believe them. There's just one thing that bothers me."
"Just one?" Michael muttered.
"The rigged fuse box was probably directed at me," Dad said. "But these last two incidents--the bomb and the poisoned salsa--they were directed at you, Meg."
"Not necessarily," I said. "The bomb, yes; but the salsa was probably aimed at you."
"I wasn't even invited to the shower," Dad protested.
"Yes, but the killer could have guessed you'd show up to nibble on the food before the party started," I said. "Everyone in town knows to fix more food than they need for a party, to feed the nibblers. And you're king of the nibblers."
"That's ridiculous," Dad said, but his face had turned a bright red that suggested he saw the truth, even if he wouldn't admit it.
"It's a good thing you were busy elsewhere all day," I went on. "If two bowls of salsa split among twenty people did all that damage, imagine what it would have done to you if you'd scarfed down a whole bowl the way you usually do with salsa. The only reason we had two bowls of the stuff is that you usually finish off one before the guests get to it, so Pam always makes one for you and one that she hopes you won't find."
"Oh, well," Dad said, looking shaken and not bothering to protest. "Good point, I suppose. Anyway, there's no way Pam could have accidentally introduced a potentially fatal dosage of a highly toxic vegetable alkaloid into the salsa."
"That's a relief."
"The question is, who tampered with the salsa after Pam finished with it?"
"And why? Was it aimed at you, or Meg, or just at causing maximum death and injury?" Michael put in.
"Dad, you've got to be careful," I said. "We all do."
"Right. No nibbling." Michael said.
"Yes, we should all be very careful indeed," Dad said. And with that, he patted my hand and trotted away, no doubt to confer with the sheriff and the ME.
"Why the hell hasn't your sheriff done something?" Michael asked, with irritation. "Called in the FBI or something."
"Well, up until the bomb, I don't think anyone was that worried," I said. "The sheriff still seemed to think the fuse box incident and Mrs. Grover's death could have been accidents. And after all, when it comes to homicides, Dad has rather a history of crying wolf."
"I wasn't sure I believed him myself, before," Michael said. "But after this weekend, I'm sold. Whatever you and your dad have been doing with your detecting, you've definitely scared somebody. And that somebody's after you."
I closed my eyes briefly and shuddered at the idea of a cold-blooded killer stalking my occasionally demented but thoroughly lovable Dad. I didn't want to believe it. And I hadn't even begun to sort out how I felt about joining Dad on the killer's most wanted list. Why me? Had I found out something vital? If I had, it was news to me.
"I really don't need this," I said. "I have enough on my mind without this. These damned weddings are enough to worry about, without having a homicidal maniac on the loose."
"Yes, life in Yorktown is getting very complicated," Michael said. "Don't walk on the bluffs, don't play with fuse boxes, don't open any packages, and don't eat the salsa. Anyway, you look tired; I'll let you sleep. I think I'll go home and start harassing some law enforcement agencies to take action."
"Good idea."
"Anything I can do for you on my way out?"
"Yes," I said, handing him a bag. "Take this herb tea and ask Dad to take a look at it to see if it's safe to drink."
"You think someone is trying to poison you again?" he asked, holding the bag as if it contained another ticking bomb.
"Not deliberately, but I've learned to distrust Eileen's home remedies. And take these damned lilies of the valley away, too. Give them to Mrs. Tranh and the ladies if you like."
"Are they poisonous too?" he joked.
"Actually, yes. Highly toxic. Warn them not to eat them. Even the water they've been soaking in could kill you."
"I can see why you don't want them around." "I don't want them around because they're from Barry," I said, rather peevishly. "I thought he was safely off at a craft fair with Steven and Eileen for the weekend, but he showed up here instead. I'd be tempted to feed him the damn flowers and be done with him if I thought there was any chance they could decide on a new best man in time. But come July Sixteenth, Barry had better watch out."
"Until they catch whoever spiked the salsa, all of us better watch out," Michael said gravely. "Be careful."
Thursday, July 7
Fortunately for my peace of mind, it wasn't until Thursday afternoon that I was reminded of what was in store for me over the weekend. Undeterred by the dramatic events at the shower, the Brewsters were going full steam ahead with plans for a weekend house party for a number of Samantha's and Rob's friends. Actually, mostly Samantha's friends. Rob was being firmly but gently detached from any of his circle of friends of whom Samantha did not approve. Which generally meant the interesting ones, as far as I could see.
The house party had seemed like such a good idea when Mrs. Brewster first suggested it. I'm not, as a rule, a keen party goer, and spending the evening in a roomful of Samantha's friends was on a par with visiting one of the lower circles of hell. But I had been having difficulty getting some members of the wedding party to come in for final fittings. It occurred to me as soon as the party was suggested that it would be just the thing to lure any holdouts into town where they could be fitted and, if necessary, read the riot act while I had them in my clutches. So Samantha and her mother had planned a fun-filled weekend of parties and picnics, and I had suggested that they pay overtime to have Michael's ladies on standby all weekend.
But I'd completely forgotten about the whole wretched thing until Mother glided into my room early Thursday morning. Considerably earlier than I had been intending to wake up.
"I think you should plan on getting up today," she said. "You need to start getting your strength back." She was probably right. I sighed.
"Pammy is fixing us a nice breakfast," she continued. I was touched.
"And after breakfast you can both help me plan a new menu for the tea party I'm giving for Samantha and her little friends on Sunday."
I pulled the covers back over my head and refused to budge until noon. Which only meant that we did the menu-planning after lunch.
"Meg, I'm beginning to think that blue fabric has been stolen," Mother said that evening. "We should go down tomorrow and see if they can order some more."
"Why don't you let me look for it first," I said. Great; now I had to find a way to lure Mother out of the house, sneak down to Pam's, lug the fabric back, and hide it someplace where Mother could be convinced she hadn't already looked. I didn't feel up to it. I collared Dad and Michael after dinner and asked them if they would take care of it.
"Of course," Dad said, patting my hand.
"Provided you'll vouch for us if we're caught," Michael added.
"I'll keep Mother well out of the way," I said.
"I wasn't thinking of your mother," Michael said. "I was thinking of how the neighbors will react when they see the two of us sneaking about with wrapped parcels about the size and shape of human bodies."
"We won't sneak," Dad said. "You can get away with almost anything as long as you act as if you have a perfect right to be doing whatever you're doing."
"Perhaps that's how our murderer got away with it," I said.
"I should think that even around here it would be a little hard to shove someone over the bluffs without exciting comment from the neighbors," Michael objected.
"Not if they thought shoving that particular someone was the reasonable thing to do," I said, testily, spotting Samantha heading down the driveway.
"And besides," Dad protested, "I thought I'd made that clear: she couldn't possibly have been shoved over the cliff."
"True, but what about Meg's theory that she was walking on the beach when a stone hit her on the head?" Michael replied.
They ambled off to Pam's house, cheerfully debating their various theories about Mrs. Grover's death. I eluded Samantha and went to help Mother prepare for her Sunday afternoon tea. By dint of looking wan and pale--I'd had a lot of practice over the past several days--I managed to talk her out of having me cook all kinds of complicated goodies. We drove down to three of the local bakeries and placed orders with each for a supply of their specialties.
Driving home, I wondered if placing the order several days ahead of time was such a good idea. Plenty of time for anyone to find out, duplicate one of the pastries we were serving, and prepare a doctored batch. I'd have to pick them up myself. And then hide them until the party. Perhaps there was some way I could mark them so I'd know they were the ones I'd picked up. And then if I saw someone lifting a pastry without the telltale mark, I could dash it from her hands ...
You're just being silly, I told myself. At least I hoped I was. Then again, if I were one of the out-of-town bridesmaids who'd lived through last weekend, I wouldn't be that quick to eat the local cuisine. Or open any packages.