Must Love Cakes: Watkin's Pond, Book 3 (4 page)

Chapter Four

After showering, she shaved.

Usually, this wasn’t really a reason for her hands to shake when she applied eyeliner. Actually, putting on makeup after she showered from work deviated from her normal night, but the shaving seemed telling. As if she planned to seduce her two best pals into a threesome.

Which was dumb. She would never do that.

She wanted to do that. She wondered what it would feel like to be twisting between them, four hands streaking across her skin and igniting the passion she held in check for them.

Dropping the eyeliner because her hand trembled, she breathed through it.

I can do this.

Brushing hands down her pant legs because they felt sweaty with nerves, she rolled her eyes at the image reflected in her bathroom mirror. Rounded face, blue eyes and stringy long hair—not the face of a woman who could seduce two men into playing a few rounds of naked Twister.

Yeah, I can do this because there’s not a shot in hell they both actually want me like that. They love me, but want me? Sexually?

Yeah fucking right.

The self-recrimination helped bolster her spine, making her able to face them.

The doorbell rang, as if triggered by her preparedness, and she padded barefoot out to answer it. Although she’d put on makeup for some idiotic reason, she knew that getting all dressed up for “The Talk” would have been too obvious. She could bear a lot of things, but them making fun of her for this? She wasn’t sure she could take it.

Opening the door, she let them both in and they towered over her. In all the time they’d been friends, she’d never noticed how much bigger they both were than her until recently. “Takeout is in the kitchen.”

“You remember cheese wontons?” Ben asked, giving her a one-armed hug as he passed.

“Of course.” She avoided Grady’s gaze, knowing he wasn’t playing at the façade of normality anymore. If she didn’t look at him, she wouldn’t fantasize.

Yeah, right.

Taking the white cardboard box from Grady, Ben read his lips.
Are you going to say something?

Sighing, Ben dug chopsticks into the carton, searching in a sea of noodles for a shrimp. Grady always came out of the gate, like some angry bull, plowing into situations without thinking and going with his gut while Ben was left to finesse things.

This situation might require finesse.

His gaze tracked to Carrie, legs curled up on the chair next to his and face bent over her own white carton.

The outfit she’d chosen didn’t help his lust any. The tight tank top outlined the large breasts he’d always wanted to taste. Built like a woman, not a girl, Carrie always reminded him of some classical painting. With her creamy skin, abundant breasts and curving hips, he’d never been able to resist her. He never knew if she’d set the standard for beauty for him because he loved her or if it had been the way he was wired to begin with…but it didn’t matter either way. He wanted to touch that soft skin and listen to her moan, always had and likely always would.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he reminded himself they were in business together. They were friends. Friend rule number one:
You don’t bend your friend over her dining room table and make her scream out orgasms until her legs shook.
No matter how much you wanted to.

The idea of sharing her with Grady, of watching her suck his cock while she took Ben’s, notched the pressure in his pants higher and he shifted his hips to make room for his blood-filled cock.
Finesse.
“Grady mentioned he’d started to discuss with you what happened at Darcy Winter’s party.”

Casual.
There, the perfect tone for broaching the subject.

Clicking her fingers, she grinned at him. “
That’s
whose party it was. I honestly couldn’t remember why we were there. Old age, huh?” She focused on her food again, still acting oblivious.

“Carrie.” One word from Grady and she dropped the chopsticks.

“Okay, fine. We kissed. No biggie. We’re all adults.”

Her eyes seemed to search Ben’s, looking for a response. Looking for the logic they both expected from him, the logical one.

“Yes, we kissed.” He managed to choke the words out. She waited. Glancing at Grady, he knew the other man wasn’t going to let this go. He could say something.
Defuse the tension filling the room
. “I want to kiss you again.” Coming out in a rush, Ben wanted to yank the words back out of the air as soon as he’d said them. Those weren’t defusing words.

But the heady blend of relief and panic from saying it out loud left his blood pressure rising. He’d told her.

Would she laugh and reject them both?

“You’re kidding, right? I’m not your type. I’m not
his
type.” She gestured to Grady before tucking a strand of her shining hair behind an ear. Her chest heaved, only causing him to notice her breasts again, which didn’t help his stiff dick any.

“I’m not kidding.”

She digested the information, plucking at the tablecloth. “So you expect me to believe that you’re both attracted to me?”

Something he didn’t take into account was her poor self-image. Knowing her this long, he should have assumed she would doubt her draw. The douchebags she dated certainly never told her how beautiful she really was. “Whether you believe it or not, you’ve been fap fantasy material for me for years. I’m sure Grady’s too.”

“Fucking look at you,” Grady added. “Those tits, that ass…you have to know what you do to us. There is no way we’ve hidden how we feel from you that well for all these years.”

“I—” A shake of her head, then she practically whispered, “I’m not sure what I know or believe anymore.”

“How about an experiment?” Grady nodded, encouraging him, so Ben continued. “We kiss again, sober this time, and see if anything comes of it.” He worked to keep the casual tone, to keep the need thrumming through his body from rippling into his voice.

She breathed in slowly, as if testing the air. “And if something happens…?”

“It doesn’t change the business. This is just us. We enjoy each other’s company. We please each other in a thousand ways every day. You know we love you, Carrie, and this doesn’t change that. It’s an experiment and we take it as it comes and decide as we go on.”

Logical.

He sounded logical.

Even if he literally sat on his hands to keep from closing the distance between them.

Her slow nod fueled him, his body revving to life like a motorcycle given gas. “So, how do we do this?” She shifted, looking a bit uncomfortable.

Rising, he tilted his head, gesturing for Grady to follow his lead. Catching her hand, he pulled her to her feet. Grady at his back, he met her blue-eyed gaze. “You let me know if this feels good sober, okay?”

He kissed her, closing his eyes and drowning in the ripe flavor of her, as he’d wanted to since his first taste. They might have been drunk that night, but he’d been sober enough to remember every vivid detail. Carolyn Barrister, love of his life and secret teenage crush, in his arms, her mouth opening like a flower to light. Lost in the feel of her, he almost forgot to shift her, to turn her so Grady could run a hand down her arm.

Releasing her, he watched as Grady bent to drink from her lips. The sight of them kissing, of Grady’s hand cupping her ass, made Ben hope they’d all be naked soon.

Either that or his dick was going to smother in his pants.

Chapter Five

“No sex.”

Grady froze at Carrie’s words. He’d managed to practically lift her into his arms while he tasted her lips. Letting her slide down his body enough so that he could focus on her face without going cross-eyed, he brushed his hand across her cheek. “And what makes you think this is leading to sex?”

She obviously recognized the humor in the statement, and his girl, his brave and daring girl, surfaced past her insecurities. He knew before she moved, simply by the mischievous curve of her lips, that she was about to do something risqué. “This.” Her hand cupped his cock and he bit his lip to hold back a groan. It felt so damned right.

“Okay, I can see where you’d think I had sex on my mind.”

Ben laughed and his hand skated up her arm. “You trust us, right?”

Instead of pulling away, Carrie leaned into Ben without releasing her hold on Grady. “With everything that I am. But I don’t want to move too fast. So, well, no sex. I’m willing to…experiment, however I don’t think we should get too carried away.”

Grady might not be the logical planner of their trio, but he knew Ben and Carrie as well as he knew himself. Even if they tried to sugarcoat it, even if they tried to pretend this might not go all the way, he understood that their whole lives had led up to this. They’d always loved her and vice versa. There was really only one possible outcome.

Then again, he’d always been the one willing to tumble headfirst into something new. “Look, this isn’t going any further than you’re comfortable with. Period.”

Ben nodded, even as he kissed her fingertips. “Agreed. Even if you hadn’t said a word, there is no way we’d do something you didn’t like.”

Lurching forward, she bit Grady’s shoulder and rubbed against him in a wave of motion. He didn’t resist digging his fingertips into her back, holding her close as his pulse raced.

“I’m not worried about you doing something I don’t like. I’m far more concerned with liking it too much.”

Grady snorted, but met Ben’s eyes. “No sex.”

“No sex.” Ben didn’t look thrilled to agree, either.

“That does, however, leave lots of room for interpretation. For instance, do you consider this sex?” He caught her mound in his hand and rubbed her through her clothes. Her head lolled back and her gasp was the only sound as she began to move with his touch.

“No,” she said, but her voice trembled on the words.

“Good, glad to clarify.” Thinking fast, he smiled when the solution came to him. “I have an idea you might approve of, actually.”

“If it’s one of your harebrained schemes, she might agree, but I probably won’t,” Ben inserted.

With a smirk, Grady raised one brow. “But if she agrees, you’ll go along with it because you secretly wanted to do it anyway, which we all know, so how about you let me talk before you babble, brain boy?”

“It is a good thing I like you, jock.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. As I was saying…” He took a moment, reveling in his new freedom to touch her. So many nights he’d imagined coming up behind her and pulling her close. How many times did he imagine trailing kisses across her shoulder, licking his way across the line of her collarbone? He couldn’t stop himself from satisfying those cravings, stealing a few seconds to explore. She gasped and clenched her fingertips. “You like that, Care-bear?”

“You had an idea,” she reminded him, her breathless voice and the catch in her words leaving him grinning in masculine triumph.

“Have either of you ever played Never Have I Ever?”

They both stared at him with almost identical blank expressions. The anticlimactic nature of the moment amused him. “I’m going to take your non-response as a no,” he added.

“Isn’t that some truth variety game, so you can get to know someone? Like for icebreakers or something?” Carrie asked.

“Like you answer ‘never have I ever’ or whatever?” Ben said.

“Basically.” It only took a slight tug to have Carrie sprawled on his lap on the couch, a position he found he liked immensely. “You want to keep our clothes on, and I figure we can’t talk with our mouths full, so the game should work, right?”

Her laugh broke more tension, relaxing her into his arms, which pleased him. “It might, although it is rather cocky of you to assume any of us would have our mouths full.”

He and Ben exchanged another glance. Neither of them believed she really didn’t see it ending in bed, but they weren’t calling her out on it either, something they agreed upon silently with a brief nod.

“That said…” She paused to glare at them both, suggesting she not only saw their exchange, but also translated their silent communication just fine—likely one of the unforeseen flaws of them all being friends for so long. “Since we know each other and have shared all of our secrets, it doesn’t really seem like a logical game for us to play, right?” Her glance at Ben earned a shrug from him. He plopped on the couch next to them and leaned forward.

“May I?” he asked.

“May you what? Oh, er, yes.” She realized he’d leaned in to kiss her and allowed him to angle her head. When their mouths merged, Grady bit back a groan. Ben practically surged into her, crushing her body harder against Grady’s and she automatically rocked her hips into his own. It felt good.

Damned good. Not to mention the sight of them together was right out of his dirtiest and most forbidden fantasies. Not willing to be left out of the play, he reached forward to touch her breast through her shirt. Her hand cupped his, holding him tight to her.

When Ben broke away, Carrie leaned toward him, looking lost for a second until Grady caught her. “Steady,” he soothed.

Her breathing was ragged, her body boneless in his arms. “Game,” she snapped.

He chuckled. “Seems like a much better idea when you want your mouth full, doesn’t it?”

The glare she shot him amused him more than scared him, so he whispered close to her ear, “Have you ever kissed another woman?”

“No!”

“Hey!” Ben complained. “I couldn’t hear the question.”

Grady nibbled her ear. Once satisfied that she nuzzled back toward him, longing for his kiss, he said to Ben, “I asked if she’d ever kissed a woman.”

“My turn,” she said. “Ben, have you ever kept a secret you never told us?”

“Good one, Care,” Grady said in approval.

“Yes. My turn,” Ben answered.

“That’s cheating.” Carrie smacked his chest, moving so that she half straddled each of them. “It was supposed to be more than a yes or no answer.”

“Who says?”

“I do.” Her flushed cheeks and rumpled hair drew Grady in an irresistible way. Dragging his nails up and down her legs, he couldn’t seem to stop touching her now that he’d gotten permission to do so. “Even though you are both making it hard to concentrate.”

“I’ve already told you my biggest secret,” Ben admitted. Leaning forward, he tugged her shirt down so he could nuzzle at her neck while streaking his hands across her torso. Her hands were equally busy, roaming from his head to his back as her breath raced and her hips bucked restlessly.

“Which was?” Her demanding words didn’t match her body’s reaction, unspoken pleas for more that their promise kept them from fulfilling.

“I’ve wanted you,
we’ve
wanted you for years.”

Her eyes fluttered closed and Grady nudged Ben aside so he could take her lips before he took his turn. He didn’t think he’d ever tire of kissing her. “Carrie, have you ever or never?”

“Have I ever or never what?”

“Have you ever or never been in love?” Grady asked.

Shaking her head, she smiled. “We’ve all been in love, right? I mean, you even got married…”

“Puppy love. Young, silly love based more on temporary obsession with the theoretically unattainable rather than anything deep. I’ve only ever loved once in my life and it has lasted a lifetime so far. It isn’t my turn, though, it’s yours.”

She went still in his arms. “I can’t answer that.”

“You think about it. We have all the time in the world.” With a gentle kiss to her forehead, he very regrettably lifted her and deposited her onto the couch.

Ben also kissed her, though he lingered at the task before he said goodbye, leaving Carrie still shell-shocked, and ventured into the night.

“So,” Ben asked, once they were alone outside. “Were you playing that by ear or did you plan it to go that way to get her thinking?”

Grady grinned at him. “By ear…but she’s thinking. By God, for the first time in our lives, I think we’re all thinking about the exact same thing and I can’t even begin to tell you how happy that makes me.”

Manda Watkin accepted the éclair and looked at Carrie with obvious concern. “You slept with them, didn’t you?”

“Don’t be silly.” Pulling out a donut for herself, Carrie waved it in a circle before taking a big bite. She hadn’t slept with them. Fondled. Been tempted to devour…but only with their clothes on. It did very little but prove for a fact that she wanted them both, even if it was an obvious impossibility, sure. But no sex.

Clearly. Even if she’d almost orgasmed in her pants.

Not seeming convinced, Manda leaned back on the tree nearest the blanket they’d dropped for their weekly picnic-slash-bullshit fest. “Okay, maybe you didn’t sleep, but you’ve done something, Carolyn Louise Bannister, and don’t you pretend otherwise.”

Since she wanted to talk about it to someone, and since talking to them about it seemed somehow self-defeating, Carrie crossed her legs and leaned closer. “Promise not to tell a soul, ever.”

Manda snorted. “Bitch, please.”

“Okay, that was lame, but yes, we had a bit of an experiment.”

Manda laughed so hard that she choked on her éclair. “A bit of an experiment? You are messing around with Ben and Grady—they’re like mancandy on a stick—and you’re calling it a bit of an experiment? Apparently you were watching different episodes of the
Science Guy
than I was, or maybe you accidentally switched to an adult channel, but sweetie? Nothing you’re doing with those two men could be called experimenting. I’m pretty sure they know their way around a mattress, if you know what I’m saying, and you’re no virginal miss either.”

Punching her friend, Carrie tried to look offended and figured she failed. “Okay, well if you’re looking at it from a simply biological sense, yes, we all know how to fit tab A into slot B, but—”

Manda laughed harder. “You mean tab A and tab B into slot C…and maybe D, sometimes E?”

“Sometimes E? You sick little bitch. This is why I love you.” Licking cream off her fingertip, she shook her head. “In all seriousness, no tabs met slots and none of them were for the jackpot, if you get what I mean.”

“So you haven’t actually done the deed, but you’ve been practicing?” Manda reached for the Thermos of milk Carrie’d packed for their meeting. “Honey, if you’re not sure what to do with them, I’d be happy to loan you some porn.”

Grinning, Carrie said, “I’d love to say I knew what I was doing, but although I can think of plenty of things to do with the
tabs
, I’m still not sure it’s a good idea. I mean, what can possibly come of it?”

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. Guess that’s a good point. You’re not blinded by the golden cocks and your brain is still working. Kudos, girl, because in your position, I think I’d be too busy ripping their clothes off to remember it can’t possibly work for the long term.”

Smart. Waiting and not leaping into bed with them was a sign her brain was controlling her hormones. Proof she wasn’t simply a carnal creature set on devastatingly amazing sex rather than logical and rational decision-making skills.

“Right. I’m totally not blinded. I’m thinking logically.” Carrie picked at her food, no real interest in any of it.

“But maybe that is the problem.”

Snapping her head up, Carrie stared at Manda.

Manda waved a hand. “Let’s summarize, shall we? You’ve dated guys who were either emotionally unavailable, too clingy to the point of almost needy, or otherwise altogether wrong.”

“I don’t know that I’d agree with that. I’m sure at least a few of my relationships had the potential to work out.” Carrie defended it, even if she wasn’t sure if she believed her own words.

“I’m sure. Really, though, you weren’t ever really interested in them, which has always struck me as weird, since it seemed more like you had this mental checklist of what a boyfriend
should
be like and you found men who matched up with the boxes rather than looking for someone you liked.” Manda looked away, as if her gaze focused on the past rather than the view of the park.

“Doesn’t everyone do that, though? I mean, know what they want and try to fill that need?”

Manda shook her head. “I’m not sure why, but I stick with my point. You weren’t into them, not really. Maybe that was because you were already involved with two great guys you liked and didn’t want to pick between them? I don’t know. Maybe that is the key.”

“I hardly think Grady and Ben are the key to some psychoanalyzing mumbo jumbo which sounds like something you pulled out of a quiz from a magazine.”

Manda poked her in the shoulder. “Oh! Maybe you never wanted to pick between Ben and Grady and, to avoid picking, you just dated all the wrong men. Well, we’re adults now, so pick one and date him. They’re both great, you love them…just pick one and give it a go.”

The advice seemed logical enough, on the outside, but it didn’t sit well with Carrie for some reason. It lay under her skin with all the irritation of a burr she couldn’t quite pick out. Carrie lay in her bed that night, trying to find sleep, still running circles around the idea. Instead of sleeping, every time she closed her eyes, she imagined them. Their mouths on her body, their hands on her skin… She could never pick one of them. Call her a greedy bitch, but she wanted them both.

With them she felt lovely. Needed. Sexy.

Manda’s words came back to her, though. Where could a relationship with either or both of them possibly have a snowball’s chance in hell? She couldn’t pick one over the other, because she loved them both. If she was honest with herself, she wanted them both and couldn’t settle for less than the whole package…or packages, as the case might be. At the same time, she wanted kids, marriage and a normal life someday. Could she really be satisfied by any one man if she’d been pleasured by both of her dream guys at once?