Must Love Cakes: Watkin's Pond, Book 3 (5 page)

Regardless of the future, in the present she was sexually frustrated, twisted up in a tangled knot of love, hormones and needs. It seemed the easiest way to resolve her issues would be to satisfy the physical side of things. Maybe then she could think more clearly about the problem rather than being distracted by the desire raging through her system like an out-of-control wildfire.

Reaching into her bedside drawer, she pulled out the black silk sack that hid her toy collection. She’d been single for a while, off and on throughout her adult life, so she’d accumulated a few interesting things, not to mention the stuff that could be used with a partner. From the sex dice—useless, unimaginative and not worth the four dollars and ninety-five cents she’d spent on them—to her battery-operated buddies, she rummaged around in the sack until she dug out her favorite bullet and a bottle of lube. Determined to find some kind of satisfaction and straighten out her dirty mind, she stripped and lubed up with rushed excitement. Maybe all she needed was a few orgasms and,
poof
, she’d feel better.

On her back, she turned the toy on the lowest speed and swirled it around her nipple, imagining Ben’s mouth instead of the hard plastic. Damn, that boy could kiss. And Grady? He’d not be satisfied watching. He’d probably suck the other nipple deep into his mouth. Maybe bite a little.

Simulating the sensation, she tweaked her own nipple hard, her hips moving restlessly as she delayed the satisfaction she craved. Only once her breath rushed out and her heartbeat pounded in her chest did she tease herself with only a fingertip against her clit. She wanted them so badly.

Finally using the toy against the part of her that ached to be touched, the feel of the vibration against her clit left her moaning and riding into her own hand. If they were with her—

The phone rang and she fumbled to grab it, dropping the toy to the floor, flustered, interrupted before she could orgasm. “Hello?” she managed, while diving over the edge of the bed to search for the dropped toy. It vibrated loudly against her floor and she yanked the dust ruffle up to find it.

“You’re out of breath. Are you okay?” Ben’s voice while she was revved up and ready was the last thing she needed right then.

“I’m fine. I’m busy. Uh, cleaning out my bathroom.” Finally getting her hand on the cord to the toy, she yanked it free and rolled back onto the bed. Her fingers felt awkward and uncoordinated in her panic and horniness, so she fought to turn it off.

“What is that noise…?” Silence on the other end of the line as she finally managed to turn off the exuberant vibrator and pant into her end of the call.

“Uh, my toothbrush?” Lame, but it was the best she could come up with on the fly. She must have been blushing. It felt like her face was on fire. Almost like being caught masturbating in person rather than by phone call.

When Ben spoke again, his voice was huskier than she’d ever heard it before. “Are you naked, Carrie?”

Pinching her legs together and closing her eyes tight as just the sound of him made her even hotter, she shook her head. Realizing he couldn’t see her, she mumbled, “To clean my bathroom? C’mon.”

He knew. Somehow, he knew she’d been touching herself and thinking of him. She wasn’t sure if she was more embarrassed or turned on by the prospect of it.

“Since when do you lie to me?” Even softer, harder to hear, so she pressed the phone against her ear.

“What? Do you want me to admit that fooling around with you both left me horny as hell? That I can’t seem to get the idea out of my head and I’m lying in my bed fingering myself, trying to find a moment’s peace from the constant lust that thinking about it causes? Because if you’re about to make fun of me, Benjamin…” She wasn’t sure where she was going with that threat, but she’d think of something when she wasn’t still wanting to go back to pleasuring herself.

“I’m home alone too.”

His words dropped like stones into a pond, ripples taking a seemingly endless amount of time to reach the far shore of her understanding. When the meaning finally lapped against the banks of her comprehension, she bit her lip. “You are?”

“Yeah, and I was thinking of you. I wanted to hear your voice, to come see you, so I came up with a lame-ass reason to call. So do you want to talk about next week’s spring festival…or do you want to tell me more about your
toothbrush
?”

She couldn’t resist giggling, but she clamped her hand over her mouth—she wasn’t a teenager, for God’s sake. Giggling? Gah. She wouldn’t be that woman, even if talking to him like this made her feel like it. “It’s not a toothbrush.” The confession left her lips curled in a smile.

“Okay, Captain Obvious, have you never had a sexy phone call before? Go watch that movie…the one you made us watch a few years back. That cat and dog one?” She could hear the smile in his voice and had no trouble imagining him lying back on his bed, grinning.

“You remember that?” Laughing, she got comfortable and played with her nipple, feeling reckless and a little dangerous to do so while on the phone with him. “Dork.”

“You made us. Anyway, am I supposed to ask what you’re wearing or is that clichéd?”

“Clichéd, Ben. So very clichéd.” Nibbling her lip, she waited a beat before adding. “Plus, who says I’m wearing anything?”

“You
are
naked? You’re lying on that giant bed of yours naked and thinking of us? Shit, that’s a sexy thought, Carrie. I’m good. G’night.”

“If you hang up, I’m coming over and smacking you.” She trailed her hand down her body as she spoke, imagining him doing so. “And I won’t be gentle.”

“Other than smacking me, if you were here, what would you want me to do?” His tone went quiet again, hardly a whisper of sound.

“Could I tell you to touch yourself? There’s something hot about a man grabbing his dick in his hand…I don’t know.” Again, she twisted, tangled in equally overpowering needs. She thought she should be embarrassed, but she wanted him to talk dirty to her. To touch himself.

“Just grab it? Like this?” She couldn’t see him, but she imagined him doing it.

“Yes, but I want you to start out slow. Kind of stroking it… Are you doing that, Ben?”

His breath quickened a little and he whispered to her, “But I want you to touch yourself too. Spread your legs, spread them as far apart as you can, so I can see you wet and pink for me. Then touch yourself. Are you wet for me, Carrie?”

She checked.
Yes, very wet
. “You just want me to check?”

“No.” She could hear control warring with desire in his voice and it sent a shiver across her flesh, like liquid need being poured over her already desperate skin. “No, I want you to rub it. Your clit. Rub it in circles. Are your hips moving up off the bed? Does it make you want me there, kneeling between your legs so I can shove inside you?”

Her breath caught and a small moan slipped out. Yeah, she could imagine him doing that. And her fingers slipped as she tried to rub faster and harder to reach the pinnacle sitting barely out of reach. “Yeah, it does. Are you rubbing your cock while we talk, Ben? Are you wanting me as much as I’m needing you right now? I’ve always wondered what it would be like…”

Her fingers weren’t enough and she reached for the toy, turning it on low and going back to moving. She wanted him, actually
them
, so badly.

“Don’t stop there, Carrie.” His breath was ragged, cutting into his words like desire was a knife interrupting the sound. “Did you want to suck my cock? You can’t possibly have wanted that as badly as I’ve wanted to push up those little skirts you wear and taste you. You always smell so sweet…I’ve always wanted to dip my tongue inside your wet pussy and see if you taste as good as you smell. Would you ride my face, grinding that round ass of yours against me as you try to come, but unable to until I let you?”

She’d bitten her own lip hard enough that it hurt and she released it to pant in the phone. Her hips arched up, seeking the orgasm she was so close to. “Yes, Ben…shit, I’m so close.”

“Come. Carrie, come for me.”

His words seemed to trigger the orgasm free, as if she’d been waiting for permission. Lying there, sweaty and naked and alone, she cradled the phone close and listened to the grunt and gasp that meant he’d followed her off the edge of insanity. Phone sex? Lame, if you’d asked her yesterday.

But then again she’d never needed someone so much that his voice could make her shatter alone in her bed. When silence echoed on the other end of the line, she nibbled her lip, nerves returning full force. “So, well, if we’d done this as teenagers, it probably wouldn’t have been awkward.”

“Carrie?”

“Yeah, Ben?”

“It’s only awkward if you don’t wish I was there, that we were there. Do you still want us both as much as you did before this call?”

“I…I have to go. Goodnight, Ben.” She clicked end on the call before she said something she might regret. Because the damnable thing was that she’d not even begun to take the edge off her need for them. If anything, it was worse to imagine their touch and know she could have it…

And that only logic stopped her from getting it.

Chapter Six

“So I’m not supposed to lust after her at work, but you can have phone sex with her? That is fucked up, man.” Grady wasn’t sure whether he was amused or jealous as hell. He’d driven right over when Ben texted him and said they should talk, but hearing they’d shared such an intimate moment without him wasn’t a topic he’d expected. “Did you call her with that in mind or was it spur-of-the-moment jerking off?”

If Ben was lying to him, it might destroy their friendship. Trust was something Grady didn’t give easily, and once lost, never gave again.

“No. Like I said, I wanted to hear her voice. So I fabricated a reason to call her. Once I called her and heard her all breathless, practically panting into the phone, and the buzzing in the background, I put one and one together and came up with masturbation. From there, I couldn’t resist…fuck, man. She’s so hot. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a woman like I want her.” Ben’s frustrated tone wasn’t hiding an iota of his feelings on the topic and Grady turned his back on him.

He understood what Ben meant. He wasn’t sure if the desire could be attributed to the fact they both loved her, the taboo nature of the idea of sleeping with his best friends or because he needed her. He’d never been the jealous type, not once. But with Carrie?

He could learn to be the jealous type.

Ben didn’t let the fact that he’d turned away stop him from continuing. “Look, we could all fall into bed and have a helluva good time, but there’s something holding her back. Some reason she’s hesitating. Before we can touch her again, we need to have a serious conversation.”

The worst part about the way Ben slammed out fact after fact was that Grady couldn’t even say he was wrong. Grady’s fists clenched and he resisted punching something. He didn’t want to talk. He knew what he wanted, even if none of them had the balls to reach for the happiness dangling right in front of their eyes for years.

“Hey, guys, what’s the emergency?” Breathless and with flushed cheeks, Carrie walked through the dining room entrance at Grady’s and then froze as if she sensed the tension in the room. “Did I come at a bad time?”

“You texted her?” He wasn’t sure why he’d asked, since it seemed obvious.

Ben nodded. “Same time as I texted you. I knew you’d beat her here, leadfoot.”

“So what’s up?” Her posture might seem casual, but it was too casual. Planned casual when they’d been entirely comfortable together for too many years to count.

“How many times have we all sat curled on a couch together, watching movies or playing video games late at night?” Grady suddenly knew how to lead the conversation, to get her talking. Striding to her side, he looked down at her and framed her lovely face in one of his hands. Her jagged sigh spurred him onward. “How many nights have we cried together, laughed together, been together?”

She shrugged and avoided his gaze. “That’s a dumb question. Look—”

“How many nights could any of us have gone elsewhere, but didn’t? How many times have we chosen to be together, just the three of us, when we could be dating, moving on, whatever? How many, do you think, my Care-bear?”

She blinked fast, a tell that emotion was overriding her good sense. “Well, shit, Grady, I don’t know. A lot, okay? We’ve been together a lot of nights.”

“Do you love me?”

Her mouth opened, closed, then fury replaced her confusion. “Of course I love you, moron. I’ve always loved you.”

“And Ben, do you love Ben?”

This time, she didn’t hold back, balling her fist like they’d taught her and swinging her fist to connect with his shoulder. “Of course I love Ben.”

“And you know we love you, right?”

Shoving him, trying to regain her space, she looked about ready to kick his ass rather than kiss him. “I’ve never doubted that once, not ever.”

“Then why do you think this—” he grabbed her hand and placed it on his dick, “—will change how we feel about one another?”

Her breath shuddered out and the flush he was growing to crave spread up her neck. “We discussed this already. We even experimented and—”

Satisfying himself, at least a little, he rubbed her hand against him. Within seconds, she’d taken over the motion, seeming fascinated by the desire he didn’t even try to hide from her. “We’ve only half-experimented. We’ve toyed with touching. I don’t want to play around. I want you. Ben wants you. I’ve wanted you for a long time. Just tell us if that isn’t what you want, and we’ll back off. Can you see yourself with us?”

Releasing him and backing up, one hand plucking at her tank top to fan air and the other clearly shaking, she shook her head. “See myself with you both for what? A fuck? A few fucks? What, so I can fall entirely in love with you both and know what it feels like to be between you, to have your entire focus on me? Then what, Grady?”

“What do you mean, then what?” Ben closed the distance between them, moving to face off with her side-by-side with Grady. “What do you think happens after we make love, Carrie?”

His soft words after their impassioned ones left all of them breathing deep for a moment before Carrie raised her hands in an almost submissive posture—like she gave up. “
Fucking
, Ben. Call it what it would be. If we fucked, had a threesome, it would be hot. It would probably blow my mind. But it would be that—a fuck. What else could come of the three of us having sex? We can’t be in a relationship, not all of us together. So then what happens? Let me fill in the blanks for you. I’d then always know what it was like to be with you, both of you. I’d have to watch you go on with your lives, maybe get married or have kids, whatever. I wouldn’t want to lose either of you, so I’d stay part of your world, maybe bounce your kids on my knee or something equally lame… But I think it would break my heart. I can’t bear a life without either of you in it. At least this way, it will always be what could have been rather than me learning to live with the carnal knowledge of what it felt like. It’s just…I don’t know, safer.”

Grady shook his head slowly. “Life and love aren’t safe, they aren’t fair, and you’re suppositioning the rest of our lives away. Carrie, I don’t know that I will ever want anyone as much as I want you. Ben and I have talked about it—we both feel the same way. We’re not looking to screw you and leave. Maybe you’re right. Maybe it wouldn’t work out long term. But what if it did?”

She shook her head, hands coming up to hug herself as if to fend off his words or protect her from the possibilities he offered. “Maybe? What, the three of us might possibly move in together? Make a life together? In what—”

Ben interrupted, reaching for her. Closing his hands over her upper arms, he tugged her close enough that he could rest his forehead against hers. “That’s what we’re trying to tell you, Carrie. We’ve already built our lives together. We’ve already chosen to be together. Any one of us could have gotten in another relationship over the years. None of us have, not for a damned long time. Because we’re in a relationship already—with you.”

She shook her head. “I’m not your type and how—”

Grady reached out a hand, delving it into her soft hair. “You’re my type. You’ve always been my type. No other relationship had a chance—not when I was already happy with you two assholes.”

She sniffled and laughed at the same time before blinking up at them both. “What you’re saying is that we’re already together in every way but this?”

“We eat together.” Ducking his head, Grady grazed her jawbone with his teeth. He felt Ben bend to do the same on the other side of her face and their breath mingled. “We laugh together. We play together. We have always been together. The only thing we haven’t shared was our bodies.”

“Neither of you would be freaked out to have sex—be naked—with the other in the bed?”

Her question amused Grady and he looked up as Ben moved to do the same. Their eyes met and he nodded. Time to air their guilty secret. “We’ve shared women before, Carrie.”

Her eyes widened, her fingers gripping both their shoulders as if for support. She whispered, as if she was asking something taboo. “Have you ever…you know, touched each other?”

Ben shrugged and Grady answered, “Yeah. It’s okay, but not as fun as kissing you.”

She licked her lips and Grady couldn’t resist his fascination with the movement. “Will you kiss while I’m watching?” she asked.

Grady was rather done with talking. Snaring one hand around Ben’s neck, he tugged the other man close. Ben didn’t resist and their mouths met, tongues demanding and both of them sizzling in the desire she’d wakened. But it wasn’t quite enough, so Grady backed out of the embrace.

The look on her face made it worth it. Her eyes were glazed with a need he was only too happy to fulfill. “You have any other questions?”

She shook her head.

“Any other reservations about being with us?”

She shook her head.

She didn’t run away but she took one step back and stopped. Gaze shifting between them, she sucked in a deep breath before reaching down and pulling her sundress over her head. Dropping it to the floor, she raised her chin and practically dared them to say or do something about her almost nudity.

Grady didn’t mind complying, reaching for her to pull her back into the circle of their arms. Propping her up against Ben, he reached down to flick her front-clasp bra and freed her lovely breasts to his view. “You forgot some garments, Care. Let me help you with those.”

He’d wanted her for too long, his patience was gone. With one tug, he ripped off her panties, and left her naked against Ben. The erotic nature of her fully naked framed by Ben’s fully clothed body flat-out did it for Grady.

“Holy shit, Grady.” She mumbled the words and raised a hand as if to cover herself. Ben snared it, pinning it back at her side with a nod from Grady.

“Told you, I’m horny as hell for you, sweetheart.” Done with talking, done with words, he decided to use his mouth for more interesting occupations.

When he sucked on her lovely titties, he realized it was a good thing Ben had her arms. Otherwise, she might have dropped boneless to the floor when his hand cupped her wet pussy.