Mutual Release (46 page)

“Dear Lord, you do know how to turn a man on with your dirty mouth.” He’d grinned, raised his beer bottle to her.

By the time she’d looked back up at him, he was sound asleep on the couch. She had smiled and pulled a blanket up to his chin letting her fingers trail along the line of his rough jaw. When he woke up an hour or so later he was pensive again. All the more reason to pull away she’d reasoned to herself. She had no time or energy for a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde arrangement with anyone, even the man she trusted with her body more than she probably should.

And now? She cleared her throat to get his wandering attention. He tore his eyes from the girl who was, if Julie was not mistaken, working her way even closer to the edge of the dance floor. “Sorry to interrupt your ogling session. But I was under the impression we were going to a club… you know, of the kinky sort.” She gripped her hands under the table and willed herself not to flush bright red with anger.

He ran a hand down his face and leaned forward. She steeled herself for the “this is a mistake” conversation and tried to send firm vibes of “I don’t care” in his direction.

“I’m not ogling anyone. I don’t even see any other women but you right now, Julie.”

“Oh, that is a load of horseshit. Please give me more credit, Country Club.”

He grimaced. “You have a lot to learn about me.”

She tried to understand what that meant in the scope of things, but before she could think, he had her on her feet and swept into his arms. She struggled, unwilling to let him kiss his way out of how badly this day had progressed. But his lips were on hers, his tongue gentle, probing, and she was transported by him and her own need to let him.

He broke the kiss first, but kept her close. “Let’s go. Time for the kinky bit. You ready?”

She nodded, shivering as his hands moved possessively down her body, setting her nerve endings dancing. Having a bunch of killer orgasms she would take. But she tried to reconstruct the wall she’d been building in her mind all day – the one she would not let him breach. Without acknowledging that perhaps he was picking up on her new, hopefully nonchalant attitude about their hook-up, she smiled, reminding herself she had to keep herself safe, even from him.

They kept their fingers entwined in the elevator all the way down to the lower floor of the glitzy building. She bit her lip as the doors slid open revealing a scene that surprised her completely. Her imagination about a “BDSM club” ran to dark paneled walls, black leather, guys in masks holding whips and women with chains and collars, candles, scary music and random screaming in the background – a sort of haunted house, only with the sex thing. What she saw was more along the lines of a typical Miami bar, filled with light, laughter, well-dressed couples holding what looked like juice glasses, several classy waterfall features, and white or cream furniture. Evan smiled and pulled her into the main room. They were greeted by a stunningly beautiful woman who shook their hands.

“The festivities will begin soon,” she said with a slight accent. “We are honored to have you on this special night.”

Julie leaned into Evan’s ear. “Please tell me the staff isn’t going to come out holding sparklers and sing ‘Happy Birthday’.”

He turned and smiled, kissed her once, and led her to a couch. After accepting a glass of lemon water, she sipped, put it down, and crossed her legs. There was not a single person in the room who couldn’t pass as a cover model. She shifted and looked harder. All the women had on a dress similar to hers, same general cut – short skirt, low neckline, simple and classy but in different colors. She glanced over at Evan once, but he just sat watching her.

The couples laughed, flirted, sipped juice and tea. A small tickle started at the base of her brain. There was something else about every one of the women which kept catching her eye. But just as she was about to figure it out, an entire wall of light birch wood disappeared behind the bar area. Four women including the host lady stood there all dressed in the same filmy, barely-there sort of gown. The crowd quieted.

Evan put a hand on her knee, making her jump and then flush with embarrassment. “Are you ready?” he asked, sort of loudly, she thought.

She looked at him then around when she felt the eyes of the entire room on them. “Um, should I be?” Her self-defense mechanism was attempting to kick in, to drown out the eager submissive he’d brought out in her.

He leaned closer. “Answer without thinking, Julie. Stop trying to fight it.”

She gulped, then convincing herself the whole thing could be faked, leaving her untouched, she squared her shoulders and nodded her head. “Yes, I am.”

He stood and held out an arm. Together they led the parade of people into a large, vintage-looking auditorium but one where the stage was in the middle of a circle of soft chairs and loveseats.

“What the hell is this, Evan?” she hissed, as panic began burrowing into her brain.

He led her all the way down to the stage without answering, holding onto the hand she had hooked into his bent elbow as if sensing her urge to flee. They stopped in the middle next to a low white leather-covered bench. She noted similar white straps hanging from the ceiling but nothing else. He turned to face her and cradled her face in his hands. She blinked and let the calm from his touch ooze through her system settling her fluttering nerves. She sensed people taking seats all around them, but Evan held her gaze. The brave, strong, independent Julie who knew she could resist him melted, leaving behind a woman she no longer recognized.

“How do you do that?” she whispered, her hands at her sides. “Why? What
is
this, Evan?”

“It’s only me, asking you to wear this.” He held out his hand and someone nearby put something in it. She looked down and saw the distinctive Tiffany-colored box.

“I’m not… I can’t… it’s…” A tear ran down her face.

“It’s not what you think, but it is just as important. If not more so.” He opened the box and pulled out an exquisite thick platinum chain with a stunning diamond set in the center. “Don’t be afraid. You don’t ever have to be afraid again, Julie.”

Hands appeared, sliding her dress off her shoulders, leaving her completely naked in front of a room full of strangers. She never even blinked, just kept her eyes pinned to his. He held out his other hand and a bright white leather whip was placed in it. She gulped, and felt her body harden and pulse at the sight of it. The chain stayed in his other hand.

“Turn around and bend over the bench,” he whispered.

And she did, shaking, eyes downcast. He put his hand on her hair, reassuring her everything was fine without even speaking. Then he pulled hard, tugging her head back and bringing fresh tears to her eyes. His lips were at her ear, words poured out of his mouth, and she nearly had an orgasm at the sound of his voice.

“You have to know you can trust me. You have to let go of everything and give it over to me. I know what you need. And I know when you’re faking it. I am not asking you to change or be something you’re not. But to give me what you have.” He bit her earlobe. She could feel him, rock-hard behind his trousers, pressed against her bare ass. “And in exchange for your trust, I give you…,” he was quiet a moment. “… my protection. And my heart.”

He let go of her, stepped away, and the sharp sting of a deftly held whip hit her ankles, calves, thighs, and ass. Teasing, hurting just enough to make her tingle. She spread her legs, wanting something she could not even name. A pair of hands appeared below her and placed metal on her nipples. She groaned as a white light started edging its way around her brain, threatening her with total shut-down. The flickers along her legs and ass kept coming. The exquisite pain of the clamps made her shudder. She fought the onrushing quiet, the complete calm that somehow was threatening by its very existence. Burrowing into the pain, she found peace. And all she heard was the sound of her man’s voice, which centered her, gave her control over that very pain he was inflicting.

Evan’s hands were on her now, his palm smacked her ass, making her shiver and her body ache with need. She heard nothing but him. Knew nothing but him. The fact that probably a hundred people were watching as she cried out his name, as the whiteness descended on her psyche, blotting out the world and leaving only his body and his voice, meant nothing to her at all.

“It’s okay, Julie,” he said, his hands threaded in her hair once more. “I’m here.” He ran a warm palm along her neck, down her back, to the stinging flesh of her ass, let his fingers flicker over her sex, making her whimper and arch her back. “Shh… my love.”

She kept her eyes down and dropped into a strange sensory rabbit hole. Her ears were full of a whooshing sound, her skin felt enervated, and she was so close to an orgasm she was about to weep and beg him to fuck her.

“This is how I make you forget the terrible thing that happened to you. Do you understand? Let go of all of that and hand it to me. I’ll take it away.”

A sob tore from her throat and fear enveloped her for a split-second. Then the whooshing noise was gone, and Evan’s eyes were on hers as he crouched down and fastened the chain around her neck. He held a miniscule key up so she could see it.

“You never take this off. I’m the only one who can.”

She nodded. “Yes, Sir,” she whispered, her breathing ragged. “I-I-I’m afraid.”

He smiled and ran a hand down her face. “I know you are. That’s why it’s important for you to do this. To face the fear, own it, then give it to me.” He narrowed his eyes. “
Love
is not a word that comes easy to me. But I love you, Julie. And I want to take care of you, be with you, if you will let me.”

She nodded. He reached down and removed the clips, making her moan with pain as blood rushed back to her nipples as he suckled them gently. But the corresponding pulse between her legs turned the moan into a sigh of pleasure.

“I’m going to fuck you now, Julie. Right here. In front of these people,” he whispered, standing and moving around behind her.

“Yes, Sir,” she whispered, never wanting anything more.

Evan’s whole body was on fire, but frozen. His brain was burning, but ice-cold. Love? Did he really
love
her? As he watched her huge eyes fill with tears, he brushed them away, then stood, letting his fingertips trail down her bare skin. Hands plucked off his coat, unzipped him, and stripped him down to his unbuttoned shirt. He touched the red skin of her ass where he’d whipped her, spanked her, and saw her tremble, smelled her need so strong he nearly dropped to his knees to taste it. But this moment was different.

No longer aware of all the eyes on them, all the noises of kissing, sucking, groaning, and fucking going on around him, Evan slid into her moist depths, hard, with a firm stroke, gripping her hips and groaning her name at the exquisite grip of her body around him. Watching as his cock slid in and out of her, going slow and deep at first, his vision darkened, and he heard her cry out, felt her tense, then release, the contractions of her body tugging him towards climax.

He held her hair and pounded into her, marking her as his, and as the darkness lifted and the orgasm gripped the base of his spine and made him go up on his toes with the strength of it, he said it again as he draped over her back. “I love you, Julie,” he whispered, holding her close, terrified by it and praying he had done the right thing.

Chapter Fourteen

Evan put another bite of mango to Julie’s lips, smiling when she sucked his fingers more than was necessary before letting him go. He fed her a few bites of cheese, then sighed and lay back on the blanket. The January sun was weak but warm and made him drowsy – well, that and the two orgasms he’d already had that morning. They had to catch an early flight the next day and jump feet first back into reality. But for the moment, he was content to doze, listening to the tide, and feeling her body next to his.

“So, I’m wondering something,” she said, startling him out of a near sleep.

“Hmm?” he said, rolling onto his side and running a hand down her leg.

“This…” She put her hand to her throat. Evan’s pulse raced at the sight of it – the collar she wore declaring her status as his to the world. “It’s like going steady? Or are we married now, or what?” She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair.

“It’s whatever you want to tell people, but to you and me it’s a commitment deeper than any other kind.” He leaned in and touched the diamond in the center. “But we should have a talk now and get a few things clarified.” He sat up, crossed his legs, and grabbed a beer from their cooler. “I would like for you to move in with me, soon. And you should take James up on his offer to divorce you.”

She frowned, and his finely-tuned Julie radar started sending him warning signals.

He grabbed her hand. “I said I would like for you to. Not that you had to, yet.”

“Okay. And what else?” She sipped her own beer, her eyes wary. She still had some boundaries he had to breach. But he felt confident they’d get past them.

“I also want you to contact your mother. Have an adult conversation with her and tell her how you feel.”