She flipped him off and kept studying her attorney’s latest volley back to Cooper’s owners. “I’m busy. Go away.”
“I know you’re busy. But I need to tell you something.”
She sighed and leaned back in her chair. The stunning diamond of her engagement right caught the sunlight, throwing brilliant prisms of color against the opposite wall. She had agreed to wear it and had been doing so for the last few years. They had agreed to continue the “next level” at a comfortable pace, without too much rushing, and so far, other than the typical conflicts inherent in a relationship between two very strong personalities, all was well. Especially since they were both keen about not pressuring the other into taking that final step.
The fact she’d managed to stretch out her engagement three years was not lost on her. But she justified it by claiming she enjoyed him too much to ruin it by calling him “my husband.” Which, she knew, was wearing thin with the man himself.
“My friend Evan is going ape-shit over the fact that you won’t set a wedding date. Which, as I tell him, is kinda girlie. But I’m curious, too. What is your problem?”
She blinked, hoping not to betray her shock at his mind reading capabilities. “You know what, Gordon? You are in no position to talk to me about relationship fuck-ups. You are the one with a kid and have pissed off the woman who bore you that kid so many times she will hardly let you near her. So back away, Dr. Phil.”
“Yeah.” Jack ran a hand down his face. “I guess you could make that argument. But seriously, Julie. It may feel like you just traded one piece of jewelry for another but,” he pointed to the large diamond on her left hand, “
that
means more than you might think to a guy like Evan.”
Julie put her hands on the desk and tried to quell the quaking that had begun in her knees and was making its way up her spine. Jack was right, and she knew it. She’d been avoiding the whole thing, going through the motions of her life co-habitating with Evan without even considering what he might want.
He had asked a grand total of three times in the last few years, each time leading to the sort of argument from which many couples would never recover. But she smiled and turned the ring around; she and Evan were hardly “any couple.” The bond they’d finally acknowledged was strong. Yet she still resisted it – that final moment. That last stage in the natural progression of a truly healthy relationship.
And lately she was wondering why he’d stopped asking her to set the date, a little worried she’d had one too many temper tantrums over the question. She had requested and received an official divorce from James Dawson. She’d been terrified about how James’ mother would react, but he and Grant met with the woman in the south of France for a heart-to-heart ending with Mama Dawson in tears, claiming all she wanted was her boy to be happy. Well, that, and a monthly dividend check, which they all agreed Julie could provide. So the executed divorce papers rested in her desk drawer and her position as head of the company was still secure. She hadn’t told Evan yet but had planned to soon. Once the takeover of Cooper was complete.
“His mindset and mine are different but similar in many ways. And while the mistakes I’ve made in the last four years are so many I don’t even want to start counting them, Evan has a different agenda, one that’s way more focused than mine. Trust me.” He took her hand and used that oh-so-charming Jack Gordon smile on her. “Make this happen with him, Julie. I know you want to, and I know what you’ve been through to get here.”
She pulled her hand away and frowned at him. “I assume if he has sent you to beg me, he’s pretty damn desperate.”
“He didn’t send me. If he knew I was here on his behalf he’d probably never golf with me again.”
She smiled at the man who had become as much a fixture in her life as he was in Evan’s. When she and Evan started going down to The Suite in Detroit, Jack had come along a few times, once dragging some horrible woman with him while he was still in denial over how he felt about Sara Thornton, the mother of his child. Julie leaned on her elbows, studying him. He had aged a lot in the last few years, coming to terms with his life as “Uncle Jack” to the little girl everyone knew was his daughter.
“Tell you what, handsome. I’ll make you a deal.” She smiled, and he raised an eyebrow at her rakish implication. “I’ll set a date with your bestie for that walk down the aisle when you smack some sense into Sara, clonk her over the head, and drag her to your cave.”
“Touché,” he said, getting to his feet. “Let’s get some lunch.”
She laughed, turned off her computer, and went with him. Jack was the sort of guy who required other people around him, and she could tell he was in a mood. Evan was out of town for a week, at the craft beer conference on the West Coast, scoping out some new equipment. She was so comfortable in their current arrangement she almost didn’t want to change anything, nervous that becoming “husband and wife” would be a recipe for failure for them.
She and Jack laughed their way through a long lunch and then parted ways. He gave her a fierce hug before she got in her car. “You are something special, you know that, ya bitch?”
“Yeah, I do know. Now stop being such a pussy and go get your woman.”
“Whatever.” He waved as he walked away.
She frowned and picked up her phone, needing to hear Evan’s voice.
“Hey,” he answered almost immediately. “Missing me?”
Julie felt her face split into a lunatic-level grin. She missed him so much it was actual physical pain, could hardly sleep without him cradling her in his arms, and the last few nights the terror had come back. The nightmare of being alone and abused with no one on her side – a confusing and scary mix of old memory, but she never went near enough to deal with it, choosing instead to jump up, go for a run, and ignore it until it left her alone in the busyness of her day.
She took a breath. “Of course. But actually wanted to let you know your boyfriend Jack just took me to lunch. He is losing it. Why won’t he and Sara just stop all this bullshit and get it together?”
“You got me, babe. He was burned once, as you know. But that was a long time ago. I never imagined he would have such a hard time making a real emotional connection. They are prefect together. But in a way that’s a little alarming to them both, I think. Sounds like another couple I know.”
She closed her eyes. “Evan, I’m… um, I got the divorce. From James.” She gazed out into the busy parking lot, biting her lip.
There was a long moment of quiet on his end but it wasn’t tense. It was just… Evan. She was used to it by now. “Okay,” he said, and the noises behind him faded. “And so that means what, exactly?”
“It means, Mister Obtuse, I… I want to, you know…” The silence stretched out. She blew out a puff of air and tried not to lose her temper, again. “I hate it when you do that,” she whispered, leaning her head against the car window. He maintained his vigil, letting her stew a few more minutes. “God damn it.” She flopped back, feeling a trickle of sweat form between her breasts.
“You don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for, Julie,” he said, his infernal calm making her ire rise.
She gulped it back. “Don’t patronize me, Francis.”
“Don’t use your safe word when you don’t need it.” His low bedroom voice made her face flush.
She cursed him but sensed the goofy-ass smile spread over her face again. “Let’s get married, Country Club. What d’ya say? Make our illegitimate cat all legal and shit.”
He laughed long enough to make her nervous, then pissed.
“I’m so glad you find my request amusing.” She stared at the giant ring, her throat tightening. “Jerk.” But she kept smiling.
“I’ll think about it. Not sure I’m… you know ready for that last step yet.”
“You are an ass. I don’t know why I tolerate you.” She put the key in the ignition, felt the powerful motor roar to life, hitting the phone icon on the steering wheel, and loving the sound of his strong reassuring voice filling the interior of her car.
“I’m pretty sure it’s the way I can make you orgasm.” He chuckled.
“Yeah, that’s a big part of your charm for sure.” She put the car in gear and joined the line to exit the parking lot. “That and you don’t mind folding laundry. Oh, and your giant cock. I have my standards you know.”
“I remember, size queen. Listen, how about you come out here for the last weekend of this thing? I heard about a club… we could… discuss the un-discussable – the date of a wedding.”
She frowned. “You know I can’t leave right now. This takeover thing is – ”
“I know, I know. Thought I could distract you with my – ”
“Giant cock?” She smiled when he laughed again. Dear Lord, she loved him. “I’m gonna want a huge, over-the-top wedding, you know. Expensive. Exclusive. Black tie. Dripping with flowers and prime rib dinner reception, oh, and a live band, I’m thinking the Foo Fighters.”
“Your wish, my love. All I ask is we keep one thing in mind.”
“What’s that, Country Club?” A sudden light feeling in her chest made her smile again.
“When they ask you the question, the one you are supposed to answer ‘I do’ to, you don’t freak out and run off. It’s a bit of a recurring nightmare I have.”
“Let’s see… I’ll practice, how about that? And you should call Jack. He looks like shit. I’m a little worried about him.”
“Maybe you should call Sara. You guys would get along pretty well, I think.”
“Maybe.” She sat at a red light, ready to jump back on the interstate towards her office. “I love you.”
“I know you do. Sure I can’t convince you to play hooky this weekend? I’m guessing we can find all sorts of mischief to get into out here.”
“Ah, you’re just horny.”
“Yeah. And you’re not?”
“I’m busy. I am a very important businesswoman. But yeah, I’m horny.”
“So, pull over. I’ll talk you through one.”
Her face flushed, and her entire body went on instant alert at his tone. “Save it for tonight.”
“Whatever. But I’m gonna have to wait a while to walk back into the conference. My huge cock is making an embarrassing show of itself. Hang on a sec, I got a call from… oh, it’s Mom’s nurse. I’ll call you right back.”
Julie hung up, floored the accelerator, and waited for him to call again. She loved the man, there was no doubt about that. But the “next level” beyond the one they currently occupied still made her more than a little anxious. She wanted him back home, truth be told. With her, at night, so those dreams would leave her alone. It was annoying the piss out of her, especially now when she was trying to get Dawson Associates over this hump in the road. She had no time or patience for things like wedding plans, or any other nonsense.
But Jack was right. Evan wanted it, and she did too. Time to stop making excuses which were sounding stale even to her. She took a deep breath.
Time to grow up, Julie. Make the plans and walk down the aisle
.
Quit your lame-ass stalling.
But she wasn’t kidding when she said she wanted a huge wedding. Her mind was already turning to thoughts of hiring a planner, videographer, and florist when Evan called back. Dread settled in her chest like a heavy stone at the sound of his frantic voice.
“It’s Mom. She fell. They think she had a stroke. She’s at U of M. Julie, can you please go? I know how busy you are, but…”
“I’m headed there now. It will be fine. I’ll call you as soon as I talk to a doctor.” She exited the freeway and turned around, pointed the car back towards Ann Arbor as she spoke.
“I’m on my way to the airport so leave a message if I don’t answer. And thanks.”
“Of course, Evan. I… I love you. It will be all right.”
“I know you do. And I hope you’re right.”
* * * *
By the time she’d driven all the way to Ann Arbor and arrived at the sprawling University hospital complex, it was nearly four o’clock. She jumped out of her car, tossed her keys to a valet, and marched into the emergency room, thinking it was as good a place as any to start. After nearly thirty minutes of bullshit red tape, she had a visitor’s badge and was making her way up and over to the Intensive Care Unit where Amanda Adams lay with a broken hip, a black eye from hitting the edge of her dresser, and likely a concussion.
Julie strong-armed her way in, insisting she was the woman’s daughter-in-law, flashing her giant ring around, and telling all within earshot her husband would be here as soon as he could get back from the West Coast. The words “husband” and “daughter-in-law” felt so right; she was even more resolved to take action to make those words fact, the second she could.
As soon as she sat next to the tiny woman covered in monitors, with a bandage around her head, she had a spooky feeling, like she was being watched. She glanced over her shoulder but the only activity at the glass window was of medical personnel scurrying around. She took Amanda’s cold hand, held it, patted it, and started talking.
She told her everything, all about how she and Evan met, how he’d dragged her better self kicking and screaming out of the hard bitchy shell she’d encased herself in for so many years. Leaving out the more explicit methods he’d used to do that, she admitted to the unconscious woman Evan still struggled with anger over Damian, guilt about Olivia, and frustration with his mother and her willingness to let the whole thing happen right under her nose. Finally, unable to think of a single thing more and willing the woman to open her eyes so Evan would not have to sit here and communicate with her like this, Julie put her head down on the side of the bed and cried.
Suddenly, a sick wash of memory crashed through her brain, inexorable and terrifying, like tidal waves she couldn’t outrun. One in particular kept chasing her. The hospital smell – it was familiar, somehow. The memories piled in; the dam broke.
It started with the police station where she’d had the first confrontation with her mother, who stood next to the man who’d raped her own daughter and accused her, the daughter, of “making it all up.” The cops had insisted on having a rape kit done at a hospital. Amy had held her hand while the doctor examined her and confirmed she had had sex within the last twenty hours, and she showed signs of past abuse.