My Beautiful (The Beautiful Series)
Copyright © 2013 by Alicia Rae
All rights reserved.
Cover Designer: Sarah Hansen,
Okay Creations
Editor and Interior Designer: Jovana Shirley,
Unforeseen Editing
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except
for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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http://www.aliciaraeauthor.com
I
felt weightless as my mind was consumed with so many thoughts. I feared the possibility of letting my heart love again. It was a step forward, but once taken, it could never be reversed without more heartache.
My chest constricted as I was overwhelmed with emotions pulling and dragging me in so many directions. It was hard to breathe...
Until I saw a bright light.
When I looked beyond it, I could see a shadow. While my eyes penetrated into the depths of its presence, my pulse began to steady. A sense of tranquility settled over me as the dark shadow came toward me. An indescribable gravitational pull from my core wanted me to get closer and closer.
This shadow was my air, my light, and my heaven on earth.
I needed him as much as he needed me.
***
“Lily!”
As I came to in my parents’ backyard, the fire crackled into the dark sky while the air was cool and crisp on my exposed skin. Kyle and I were on the ground with me lying across his lap.
Kyle’s right arm cradled my waist while his other hand caressed my cheek with the backs of his fingers. “Lily! Are you alright?” he asked, his voice panicked.
While he held me, I tried to make my eyes focus on his face. His eyebrows were creased with worry.
“Yes…I think so.” The little white spots in my line of vision were starting to fade. I blinked and glanced around into the darkness surrounding the fire pit at my family home, trying to wrap my mind around what had just happened. Somehow, we had ended up on the ground in front of the hammock.
Did I just…faint?
Oh shit, I did.
Kyle sighed in relief. Wrapping his other hand around me, he supported my back. His arms tightened around me like a lifeline. “You scared the living daylights out of me. Your whole face went pale, and then…” He shook his head as if to block the memory.
Kyle shifted back on the ground as I sat up in his arms with my side against his chest. Resting my cheek on his shoulder, I tried to steady my breathing. I stared at the fire crackling from the pit, still trying to put my mind and body back together, piece by piece.
Kyle loves me.
I closed my eyes, knowing that I loved him, too, if only I could allow myself the chance to dream of a happily ever after.
Could I tell him that? Am I brave enough to open myself up to him and lay my heart on the line? What if it gets shattered again? If something happens to us, I wouldn’t survive it.
He was already a part of me. That would never change.
“Lily,” Kyle said softly, “tell me what you are thinking about, please.”
I spun my body around, placing my legs on either side of Kyle’s thighs
.
I stared at him, watching the emotions play across his face. Guilt flooded me as I realized I was responsible for the profound worry etched on his face.
I had to tell him. I could not stand to see his vulnerability caused by the unknown. It was not fair to him. None of this was fair to him. It was wrong of me to drag him into a relationship when I was emotionally unstable.
But as much as I was his, he was mine. I could not change the way my heart felt. I would just have to be stronger and push past my fears.
My hand reached for his. After I slowly linked our fingers together, Kyle gave my hand a gentle squeeze.
I remembered his precious words when he’d regarded me with such love in his eyes.
I’m in love with you, Lily, and I know you’re in love with me, too. Come to Lake Tahoe with me and give us a chance. I know you have things in your life that you’re working on, and so do I, but we can do them together. I love you, and I want you to be mine.
I thought of his breathtaking smile.
Just take a chance with me, my beautiful Lily. I love you.
I felt the same vulnerability he must have had as he’d looked deep into my eyes.
You have my heart in your hands, Lily. Please don’t break it.
He’d opened up his heart, and he deserved the very same from me.
I nervously clenched my free hand into a tight ball. “I was thinking that…you are right.”
Kyle’s eyes widened, his eyebrows lifting, in surprise. “I am?” he asked, taking in my words. “About which part?”
I inhaled deeply, gathering my strength. I was not very good with speaking words, only writing them.
Here goes.
“I know that you love me…”
“Yes…” he replied quietly, his hand rising to caress my cheek, soft and tender. “I do.”
“And…I love you,” I whispered, looking into those brownish-green eyes that I adored so much.
His lips curved up into one of his breathtaking smiles, and I was awarded with a brief appearance of a dimple before his mouth crushed onto mine. My heart overflowed with love, my pulse beating all the way to my toes.
Kyle pulled back abruptly. “Say it again,” he breathed.
I brushed my thumb across his lower lip, momentarily feeling its fullness. I cupped both sides of his jaw and drew him closer until I could feel his breath on me. “I. Love. You.”
I barely completed those three words before Kyle kissed me, impatiently this time. As he released a low moan into my mouth, his hands held me tighter into his embrace as if he were silently promising to never let me go.
I loved it when he pulled my body closer into his. It was like he
had
to touch me, and I reciprocated that need. I never wanted any distance between us.
I was perfectly content to end our conversation and lose myself in his kiss. Telling him that I loved him, to me, was a huge step. I could never take back my words. I would never
want
to take them back.
Kyle leaned back and grinned. My insides warmed at how beautiful he was on the outside while my heart melted at how he was genuine and full of love.
“Sorry that I keep attacking you, but damn, I’ve been waiting a while to hear those words come from that soft mouth of yours. I want to make love to you, right here in front of the fire under the stars.” He stroked his thumb down the center of my bottom lip.
Me, too.
“But I need to hear more from you, Lily. I want to wake up next to you in my bed every day.”
As he hesitated briefly, I braced my hand on his heart, fearing what I knew was coming next.
“Will you move to Lake Tahoe and live with me?”
I could feel his chest rising and falling beneath the palm of my hand. The thought of moving to Lake Tahoe with Kyle made my pulse kick into overdrive.
Move to Lake Tahoe? With Kyle? Move in with Kyle? Shit.
“Just give it a chance, Lily. I meant what I said. If you don’t like Lake Tahoe, we’ll go wherever you want, but I think you’ll enjoy living there. One day, I hope that you’ll call it your home.”
I knew this was what he needed. It was also the most practical solution, too. A writer could work from just about anywhere. His company was based in California, and his family was there, so it only made sense to live there, especially if I did not plan to stay near my family.
I had to at least try. I was nervous to move, period. It was hard to start over. I knew from my experience when I’d left Colorado and ended up in Florida. Once again, I’d be giving up on everything that was familiar to me. At least this time, I would not be alone. My heart warmed at the thought.
“Okay, I’ll try,” I answered quietly, smiling softly at Kyle. “But I can’t make any promises…I’m nervous to start over in a new place, and about us living together. I’m still going to keep my cottage.”
“Thank you,” he said as his eyes filled with happiness. He leaned in to kiss my cheek. “You won’t be starting over, Lily. We’ll be moving forward together. I’ll check with the association about your cottage, too, and see if we need to do anything before you move.”