My Best Friend and My Man (23 page)

“Ursula, why are you still with him?”

“I don’t have anybody else. And having somebody is better than having nobody.”

“No, no,” I say, reaching out to touch her hand. “Ursula, it shouldn’t be that way. You deserve better than that, and so do I.”

“Well, all that sounds good, but for the life of me I feel stuck like Chuck right now. My man has physically threatened me, can you believe it? I don’t listen to him half the time, but other times I wonder if he’s serious or if it’s just the Courvoisier talking. Most of the time it’s the booze. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Me, either,” I say, trying to fight off the guilt that’s plaguing my heart. If Seaphes isn’t worthy then let him be unworthy. I don’t feel right going through his phone, his personal file. I shut the folder and decide to just take it right back inside and put it back in his office while he’s at his meeting. And I’m never going to check his phone again.

I need to figure out for myself what I want to do about Seaphes.

—39—

D
EMETRIA

I am driving like
a wild woman
down I-45 south, returning to the scene of the crime. Bennigan’s. The spot where I met a man for lunch today. The food was good, the conversation was better, and the sex was off the chain.

Mario Rodriguez is my Hispanic hottie. With his buff body, beautiful dark brown eyes, and thick eyebrows, he makes me feel woozy whenever he stares into my eyes, even though he’s kind of a slacker who drives an old beat-up van with tinted windows. I haven’t kicked it with Mario in months, but it was time for a recharge.

I spent fifteen minutes eating in the restaurant with him, and then another twenty minutes on his lap, in the back of his van, with my dress bunched up around my waist, my panties pulled to the side, and his dick stuffed inside of me, casually making love and continuing the conversation that we started while eating. I loved rocking back and forth on his lap, his arms wrapped around my waist, him speaking Spanish with his thin lips and thick mustache pressed against my neck.

“Amo su cuerpa,”
he says, squeezing his fingernails into my arms.

“What does that mean?”

“I love your body.”

“Mmmm,” I moan. I furiously hop up and down on him some more until we both get released and relaxed and are ready to return to work.

And now I am parking crooked in Bennigan’s parking lot so I can run inside. I realize when I get in that I took off my shoes in the car and left them there.

“I’m sorry I’m barefoot, but I lost something,” I explain to the hostess, who’s staring at my feet. Yeah, I’m barefoot, but at least my feet don’t stink and I just got a nice pedicure. “Anybody turn in a phone?” I ask.

“No, ma’am. But we have tons of umbrellas and sunglasses.”

“Thanks for nothing.” I leave the restaurant cursing up a storm. I need to get a grip. It’s not the first time I’ve forgotten where I’ve left my phone. Sometimes I find it under my bed, inside the linen closet, or beneath the couch cushion in my living room.

Later, I’m minutes away from calling Verizon and reporting a lost phone when Veron walks in holding my phone in her hand.

“Phew! Thank you, babe. Where was it?”

“Ladies’ room.”

“Oh,” I say, puzzled. “I don’t even remember going there. Oh well—I’m glad I got it back. You’re the best, Vee.”

“Thanks,” she says, her eyes gleaming. “Glad I could help.”

“I’m totally losing it, though. I swear, I don’t remember visiting the restroom at all today.”

“Demetria, I have never seen you so stressed out. You must still be pining over Thaddeus.”

“I guess that’s it. He has no idea how much he’s hurting me. I can’t even think straight half the time.”

“You need to do something different,” Veron says. “Take your mind off him.”

“But I can’t. I have to see him, give it one last shot. If I can remind him of all the fun we’ve had and how much he means to me, I know I can get him back.”

Veron sits down and gives me a sympathetic look. “Well, let me know if I can do anything to help. I want to see you happy again. You’re not yourself.”

“Well, in some ways I still am,” I say and laugh. “I got me some on the side during lunch,” I whisper.

Instead of giggling with me, her face falls. “With who?”

“Shhh, lower your voice. No one you know.”

“You sure about that?”

“What, you know everyone I do? Anyway, his name is Mario.”

“Mario what?”

“Rodriguez.”

“That his real name or…”

“Yeah, girl! What the hell? Stop tripping.”

She just looks skeptically at me.

“What? You think I’m lying? He drives a white van and works for Home Depot.”

She shakes her head, still looking doubtful. “Describe his penis.”

“It’s pretty big, beautiful brown, smooth, chunky. But unfortunately it tasted like chlorine. He likes to swim every morning before work, but it was still good.”

“Okay, fine.”

“That mean you believe me? What’s gotten into you, Vee, questioning me?”

“I don’t know,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted. Hey, I didn’t tell you that Thad and I are meeting up tonight. He wants to explain his side of the story, and if I have my way I’m going to spend the night with him…and every other night from here on out. I’m just ready to settle down, you know what I’m saying? I’m finally ready. Because I’ve come so close to losing someone that means a lot to me, well, it makes me want to change. And Thad’s the right man, the one who can support me.”

“Don’t get mad at me for asking this, but Demetria, if you really want to be with Thad as much as you say you do, why do you sleep around with other guys?”

I stare down at my hands and search for words that could make her understand. After several moments pass, she just shakes her head at me and walks out of my office.

She doesn’t get it; I know…it’s something I struggle with. I sniff and dab at my eyes with some tissue. And I spend the rest of the day trying to concentrate on work, but preoccupied with beating myself up. I have to change, be better, be right.

Because tonight is so important, I go through a ritual that I’ve created for whenever I need to have a clear mind. So I get off work an hour early. When I get home I light seven candles throughout my house. I draw the soapiest and hottest bubble bath I possibly can. When I slide into the water I wince; the heat is so high that I start sweating instantly, but I need the water to be hot, so it can cleanse me of my sins. After drying off, I give myself a facial, exfoliating and moisturizing with a cleanser that is supposed to give my skin energy and make it glow. And I wear the multicolored brocade dress that Thad got me in India. I want to look more beautiful than I’ve ever looked in my life, and by the time I blow out the candles and step out the door, I feel like my mission has been accomplished.

Thad is picking me up, which is good so I can spend the maximum amount of time with him. He opens the door of his silver Aston Martin for me, and I feel like the old Thad is back. This is a show-off ride if there ever was one. The convertible top is down, and the breeze hitting my face feels good. But the rush of the wind is so loud that I don’t feel like competing against it in order to talk to Thad. And he’s not saying anything to me either, he just gives me occasional glances, and I make sure to smile at him every time he sees me looking at him.

When we end up at Morton’s in downtown, I say, “I thought we were going to P.F. Chang’s.”

“Is this not good enough for you, Demetria?” Thad asks. We get out of the car and head for the restaurant.

“It’s perfect, Thad. Anywhere I can be with you is perfect.”

Thad requests a booth in a semiprivate area. That leaves me confused, too. Usually he enjoys showing me off and likes to sit front and center, so all the other men in the restaurant can stare at us with envy. But maybe he has something else in mind, something that requires privacy. I know I do.

We sit, and I order a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. I’m glad when it arrives; I know my nerves will soon be calmed.

“Thad, I have a question for you.”

“I have some for you, too.”

“Um, have you missed me?” He doesn’t say anything. “Because I sure have missed you.”

“What exactly have you missed?”

“You, babe, you. I miss hearing your voice. I miss you calling me Sweetness. I miss you spoiling me. I’ve been so miserable without you.”

“Are you positive about that?”

“Yes, baby, why wouldn’t I be positive?”

He just stares at me and quietly sips his wine.

“Most of all,” I tell him, “I’ve missed us making love. I miss touching your body, you touching mine. Oh, Thad, I hope we can work things out, because I’m going crazy without you in my life.”

“I see,” he says.

“Um, is that all you can say? You sound like you don’t believe me.”

“I am not sure what to believe.”

“Why not, baby? You need me to prove it to you?”

“Yep, prove it. Prove to me that I’m the most important man, the
only
man in your life. Prove to me that you’ve been faithful to me, that while I’m gone taking care of business, you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing at home: holding on to your honor and giving me a good reason to rush back home to you.”

“I, I, uh.” I take a long, deep sip of wine. It impacts my brain immediately, and I feel like holding on to the table even though I’m sitting down. “All I can say is you’re all I want, honey bun. In spite of your questions, in spite of what you think, I want to be with you. And that’s final.”

I wait for him to respond, but he doesn’t.

My appetizer is shrimp cocktail, which is one of Thad’s favorites. I dip a huge piece of shrimp in the zesty sauce and lift it toward Thad’s mouth, but he shakes his head and munches on his jumbo crab cake.

“Well, I’m so happy we’re together tonight, babe,” I say. “I got three new outfits and two new bikinis with the money you gave me.”

“Good for you.”

“They’re for our cruise,” I say.

He continues munching on crab cake.

“Uh…you’re still going, aren’t you?” I ask sweetly.

“Oh, yeah, I’m going.”

I wait for him to continue talking. When he doesn’t, I can’t take it anymore.

“Look, Thad, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for anything I’ve done that may have hurt you. But I don’t like how this meeting is going at all.”

“What do you expect, Demetria, for me to bow down to you so you can kick me in the teeth one more time? You’re fortunate I’m not spitting in your face right now.”

I pause. “What did you say?”

“It’s not what I say. It’s the things that you’ve said. Take a listen to this.”

Thad pulls a mini tape recorder from his jacket pocket. And I hear the sounds of me and Darren moaning and grunting while we make love.

“Oh, God, I love this, I love this shit,”
a recording of my voice cries out.
“You the best pussy-eating mofo I’ve ever had.”

“Cut it off, now!” I say, looking around to see if anyone heard.

“Isn’t that your voice, Demetria? Is that how you prove how much you love me? By spreading your legs wide open to anyone who wants to come in?”

I dump my face in my hands, unable to hold back the tears. If it weren’t for all the people sitting near us, I’m sure I’d start wailing. I’ve never felt so much humiliation, so much pain, in my life. And I can’t believe he’d set me up like this, taking me to a restaurant to do this. I calm down and wipe my face with the cloth napkin.

“Okay, fine. I’m busted. Was this in the plan all along? How long have you been spying on me, hiding tape recorders in my house, huh, Thad? You got cameras, too, you pervert?”

“Never think you can outsmart a rich and powerful man. Who knows, you might not see this Darren guy in one piece for too much longer. There’s a bayou somewhere with his name on it.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me, you lying used-up whore.”

I grit my teeth. “Why would you do this? Why would you bring me all the way to this restaurant just to treat me like crap?”

“You, for some reason, don’t know how to take no for an answer. I figured you would get it if I pulled you up on a stage in front of a lot of people and
showed
you, instead of just telling you, that you are not good enough to be fucked by a lame dog.”

Somehow I calmly get up from the table. I remove the Dodge Nitro car keys from my key ring and toss them in Thad’s glass of wine. And I walk away from his hate-filled eyes. My legs feel like bricks are attached to them, and I have a long walk ahead of me, but that’s okay. Because if it takes me an hour to get away from this sorry son of a bitch, then let it happen. I’m out.

I walk four blocks in the airy Houston night and dial up Seaphes.

“Come get me, please. I know it’ll take you a while to get here, but I don’t care how long it takes. I need help. Now!”

It takes him half an hour to reach me, but when I get in his car, I know I feel much safer with Seaphes by my side. While waiting for him to arrive, at least ten men whistled or gave me creepy looks, and I’m so glad to be inside his car.

“You’re my boy, Seaphes,” I say, holding back tears. “When I call you, you don’t laugh at me, you don’t tell me to fuck off, and you’re there like Johnny on the spot. I don’t know how I can ever repay you, but I will. You’re a good man, yes, you are.”

“It’s okay, Demetria, damn, I can’t believe old boy would just leave you like that.”

“I left him, Seaphes. When I took a good, long look at him and listened to the filth coming out of his mouth, I knew I had to get away. He violated my privacy, and violated me. And then he was talking about some crazy shit. This is a side of him that I don’t know. And,” I say and take a deep breath, “it scared me. I couldn’t deal. And now, of course, I don’t have a ride anymore.”

“Why not?”

“He, uh, he paid the notes for the Nitro. And I gave my other car to my sister, so I’m screwed. I can’t believe my life has come to this.”

“Well, you can get another car.”

“How?”

“I’ll drive you to a dealer tomorrow on my lunch break. I’m sure your credit is good, you should qualify for something. You got a nice-paying job. Think positive, Demetria. You’ll be alright.”

I lean against him while he’s driving and cry out all the pain. When we pull up in front of my house, I’m too angry to move or think. But I let him open my door, and he walks me in.

When we’re safely inside, he makes me promise to call him if anything strange goes down. “Don’t try to talk to him alone, Demetria. You’re strong but never be stupid. Call me, call the police, keep your doors locked, and don’t ever talk to or meet this Thad guy again, you hear me?”

I nod.

“Don’t nod. Answer me, Demetria.”

“Yes, Seaphes, yes, I promise I’m through with him for good. I just want this nightmare to be over.”

“It’s a hard bump in the road, but that’s all it is, a bump. You have too much to offer to let this guy bring you down.”

“Yeah, I do, don’t I?” I sniff. “I just need something to take my mind off all this.”