Authors: Hazel Kelly
Chapter 23: Andi
I
wished I could put it all out there like he was, wished I could just flirt with
him like it was second nature.
But
it was hard to flex a muscle that had been deliberately left to deteriorate for
so long.
And
where was this all coming from anyway?
It
seemed unlikely that he’d developed a brain tumor, and I knew better than to think
it was because he didn’t have other options.
Then
again, I suppose it could've been that kiss.
I
always thought women were more predisposed to being wooed by a single kiss. But
if he was even half as intrigued as I was by the sparks that flew in my
doorway- by the way our bodies felt pressed against each other- it might
explain his sudden change of feelings.
Unfortunately,
despite the desire churning in my stomach, my mind was obsessed by all the
reasons we were betraying ourselves, betraying Izzy.
Our
three way Musketeer loyalty had been the one thing I could always count on. Was
it really worth risking it just to see what was behind Shane's heavy belt
buckle?
I
sighed and leaned against the wall of the barn.
At
least I knew where he stood. Sort of.
I
watched him oversee the grill being fired up and the tapping of the kegs before
delegating pumping duties to a few younger guys. Even from a distance, it was
obvious that he wasn't just the alpha male in my life.
The
younger boys hung on his every word, and his peers seemed to have endless back
slaps and bursts of laughter that they were eager to spend in exchange for even
his fleeting attention.
And
not surprisingly, there wasn't a single sorority girl that hadn't checked him
out.
Did
he know how they all looked at him? Like he was head of the pride and they were
all just female lions, blinking and posing and trying to catch his eye?
Or
was he so used to being checked out that he didn't even notice the special attention
his presence attracted?
Either
way, even if he hadn't been all those things to all those other people, I still
would've been proud to be at the dance with him.
It
was a dream come true really, a dream I gave up on long before he surprised me
by asking if I'd accompany him to our last high school dance. I lost a lot of
sleep over the fact that I said no.
But
back then it seemed like a date was all he wanted, whereas this time he
obviously wanted more.
And
the fact that I trusted him more than I trusted myself put me in a difficult
position.
Because
I didn't know how to behave.
All
I knew was that if he tried to kiss me again-
"Funny
meeting you here," Tyler said when he came around the corner. His eyes
looked me up and down as he planted one hand over my shoulder against the barn.
"Hi
Tyler."
He
craned his neck back without giving me anymore space. "You remember my
name?"
"Yeah,"
I said, wondering how many of his drunken introductions I’d been subjected to
over the years. "We've met a few times."
"In
my dreams?" he asked, staring at my mouth so intensely I feared my lip
gloss was smeared. "Or in yours?"
"Good
one."
He
kept staring at me like an idiot, and if his breath was anything to go by, he was
already shitfaced.
"So
who did you bring to the dance tonight?" I asked, hoping he'd take a hint.
"My
cousin," he said. "She's thinking about going here next year."
I
raised my eyebrows. "So she's only eighteen?"
He
shrugged.
"Don't
you think you should keep an eye on her?"
"She's
a big girl," he said, shifting his feet so I completely lost my view of
Shane. "She can take care of herself."
"I
have to disagree," I said, fixing my eyes on him. "And I think it's
your responsibility to make sure some creep doesn't get up in her face."
He
narrowed his blue eyes at me. "She's fine. She's sucking up to some Thetas
over there." He tilted his head in a random direction. "And
personally, I'm more interested in what you're doing all by yourself over
here."
I
swallowed.
"Seems
a shame that Shane would abandon you when you don't have any friends
here."
"This
is all pretty gallant of you, Tyler," Shane said, stepping up with two
beers and a wrapped hot dog. "Except I didn't abandon anyone."
I
felt my chest loosen.
Tyler
kept his hand planted on the wall behind me as he turned his head towards
Shane’s voice.
"This
is the part where you back the fuck away from my date," Shane said, his
stance wide.
"Why?”
Tyler asked. “So you can piss all around her?"
Shane
took a step closer. "No. So you don't get your unwelcome ass kicked."
Tyler
dropped his arm and took a step back.
Shane
watched him like an aggravated pit bull before turning to me. "That's for
you," he said, nodding towards the hot dog. "Ketchup no mustard,
right?"
I
smiled gratefully and took the hot dog and one beer from him.
"You
can go now," Shane said, nodding at Tyler.
Tyler
tipped his cowboy hat before turning on his heeled boots and strutting towards
the smoking grill.
"He
really creeps me out," I said, biting into my hot dog.
"Sorry."
Shane drank his beer and kept an eye on the rowdy crowd near the grill.
"To be honest, I kind of wish he'd behaved worse just now so I would’ve
had an excuse to punch him in the face."
I
swallowed my bite. "Is that something you do a lot?"
"Seasonally,
I'd say."
"Why?
That seems like such a waste of energy."
"Oh
lots of reasons," he said. "Last time was during pledge week. I
caught him fireman carrying some catatonic freshman upstairs."
My
eyes grew wide.
"When
he objected to handing her over, I jacked him in the nose and caught her when
he went down."
"Then
what?"
"I
called some of the girls in her house and sat with her until they came to pick
her up."
"That
was good of you."
He
smiled. "I'm actually a decent guy when you get to know me."
"I'll
keep that in mind," I said, licking some ketchup from the corner of my
mouth. "Shit- was I supposed to save some of this for you?" I looked
back and forth between Shane and my last bite of hot dog.
"No,
you're good. I scarfed one when I was over there. She's all yours."
I
popped the last bite in my mouth.
"Sorry
I let him get anywhere near you. It won't happen again."
"I'm
over it," I said. "Besides, he only likes to get in my face because
he knows I'm here with you, and he gets off on getting a rise out of you."
Shane
shook his head. "That's not it."
"No?"
"He
likes to get in your face because you're beautiful and charming, and he's
deluded enough to think he has a chance."
"Well,
he doesn’t."
"And
what about me?" he asked, leaning against the barn beside me. "Would
you say I have a chance?"
"Jury's
still out."
He
narrowed his eyes on me. "Give a guy some odds."
I
sighed. "You and your gambling addiction."
"Well?"
"I'd
say fifty/fifty."
He
laughed. "Are those really my odds or are those the odds that you're full
of shit?"
I
took a sip of my beer and tilted my face towards him. "What do you mean
full of shit?"
"I'd
say eighty/twenty that you're secretly dying to get me alone and can't wait to
put your hands on me."
"That's
presumptuous," I said. "And what's with the twenty percent? You
having doubts?"
“No.
I just know better than to think you're a sure thing."
I
rolled my eyes. "I suppose I should be flattered by that."
"By
the fact that you're not like all the other girls? Yeah, you should. I love
that about you."
I
cast my eyes down into my plastic cup.
"Frankly,
I always have."
Chapter 24: Shane
"And
I've always admired your confidence," she said. "Though it's a bit
full on being the target of it."
"Are
you asking me to tone it down?"
She
raised her eyebrows. "Yeah. Like way down."
I
nodded.
"I
don't know how to be like this with you."
I
furrowed my brow. "Be like what?"
“Fawning
and flirtatious."
"So
don't be," I said. "Just be yourself."
"It's
kind of hard to do that when you're being fawning and flirtatious."
I
drained the rest of my beer. "Why do you suppose that is?"
"Seriously?"
"Yeah."
"Because
things have never been like that with us. Things have always been
friendly."
"And
you're not sure you can handle them getting a little friendlier?"
"Even
if I could, what then?" she asked. "Have you thought about the big
mess we're going to make if we… go there."
"Obviously
you have."
"I
can't help it. Our friendship is important to me and-"
"Hey."
I stepped between her and the party and tilted her chin up. "It's
important to me, too."
Her
plump lips fell apart. "Yeah?"
I
dropped my fingers from under her chin. "Of course."
She
cast her eyes down for a moment.
"And
I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize it. Okay?"
"Okay."
"I
promise," I said. "You can trust me."
"I
know. If anything, that's what scares me most about this whole thing."
"Trusting
me?"
She
shook her head. "No. How much I already do."
"Truth
or dare?"
She
furrowed her brow. "Right now?"
I
nodded.
"You
don't even have an Oreo."
"Truth
or dare?"
She
sighed. "Dare."
"I
dare you to stop overthinking things like such a woman and go on a hay ride
with me."
“Is
that a euphemism?”
“No.”
She
narrowed her eyes at me. "Even so, that sounds like two things."
“It's
a double dare."
"What
about the barn dance?"
I
turned away from her to look at the scene before us, reminding myself that
while it was nothing novel for me, Andi had never been to one. "If you
want to stay here and get your Cotton Eyed Joe on, that's obviously fine,
too."
"Can
we bring beer on the hay ride?"
"Obviously."
"Fine,"
she said, draining her cup. "I'm in."
"Great.
Let's go."
I
glanced over my shoulder after a few steps to make sure she was following me,
my eyes drawn to the buttons of her red and white checkered shirt.
"Hey,
Barry," I said, summoning a pledge with an armful of firewood.
"It's
Bobby," he said, sweat dripping off his brow.
"You've
been promoted. Come with me."
He
set the wood down where he stood and fell in line behind Andi.
Our
first stop was the cooler. "Arms out, Bobby."
He
did as I asked, and I loaded his outstretched arms with enough 40’s to make a
small pyramid.
"Can
I help?" Andi asked.
"You're
good," I said, leading them behind the barn to where a tractor with an open
trailer full of hay was parked in a shadowy laneway that divided two fields of
corn.
I
stopped at the back of the trailer first and flipped the step down, extending a
hand to Andi.
She
took it and stepped up into the bed of hay.
"Here,"
I said, handing the first two beers up.
She
grabbed them, set them down, and reached back for three more.
When
she disappeared from view, Bobby put his foot on the step.
I
laid a hand on his chest. "Actually, you're driving."
The
redness drained from his face.
"Make
yourself comfortable, Andi,” I called. “I'll be right back."
"I
can't drive a tractor," Bobby objected as he followed me around the
trailer.
"Sure
you can," I said. "It's easy. And there won't be any traffic for you
to worry about. The only rule is don't flatten any corn and don't go too
fast."
“That’s
two rules.”
“Whatever.”
I stopped beside the tractor and pointed towards the wide driver's seat.
"Up you go."
He
shook his head as he climbed the steps.
I followed
him up and made him scoot over so I could explain the controls.
He
paid close attention and recited all my instructions back to me.
"Good,"
I said, patting him on the back. "You got this." I lowered my first
foot back onto the ladder. "Now put the key in, count to ten Mississippi,
and then follow that line towards the horizon."
He
swallowed. "What if I have to piss?"
"Stop
the tractor first and then piss. What the hell kind of question is that?"
"Sorry.
I understand."
I climbed
down, walked around back, and stepped up onto the wide truck bed.
When
Andi came into view, I felt my whole chest swell.
"Well,
howdy partner," she said, taking a sip from the big bottle in her hand.
She'd
spread a blue blanket across the bed of hay and was leaning back against the
stacked bales behind her.
Her
legs were extended out in front of her and crossed at the ankles, and the
braids hanging over her shoulders caught small flecks of light that made them
sparkle as if they were harboring small fireflies.
"Aren't
you a vision," I said, sitting down beside her as the engine sputtered to
life.
The
tractor jolted into motion a moment later, and we watched as the distance
between us and the barn slowly grew.
"So,"
Andi said, breaking the comfortable silence. "Do you always bring your
barn dance dates on a hay ride?"
"Pretty
much. But you're the first I've gone out with alone."
She
cocked her head. "Really?"
"Yeah,"
I said, reaching for the forty in her hand. "Usually a bunch of us go out
together."
"Sounds
like fun."
"It
is. But I figured since I have a date tonight
who's
actually decent company on her own, I could make do without the extra
people."
She
smiled. "No pressure."
"Plus,
it's nice to get away from all the drama for a while." I took a swig from
the forty and handed it back to her.
"I
can imagine."
"It
gets a bit stressful living in close quarters with sixty jackasses whose
mistakes have a direct impact on your personal reputation."
"I
couldn't handle that."
I
shrugged. "I don't know why anyone thinks they can."
"Do
you regret it? Joining the house?"
I
shook my head. "No. A lot of those jackasses are my best friends, and
they'd do anything for me."
She
nodded.
"But
I have a lot of respect for you that you didn't get into the whole scene,
especially at this school where the Greek system is such an overwhelming
presence."
"It's
not like it was a difficult decision," she said. "The thought of
going from being an only child to having sixty sisters seemed way more
stressful than it seemed exciting."
"Understandable."
"Plus,
I don't like being told what to do, who I can and can't be friends with, where
I have to be all the time, and what to wear." She shook her head.
"That sounds like a nightmare."
"Yeah,
it's not for everybody, though I feel confident saying frats are a little more
lax."
She
laughed. "Lax isn't the word I'd use, but okay."
I
knew what she meant. And while part of me felt like I should be offended, I
knew I didn't have to defend myself to her.
She
wasn't judging me and my choices. She was just being honest, being Andi.
And
it was refreshing to be around someone who wasn't prepared to suck up to me
just to get a notch on their bedpost.
Being
with her was fun, but it meant something, too, and meaningful wasn't how I
would describe most of the relationships I'd had with women recently.
And
once again the thought crossed my mind that I actually owed that
dickrag
Mike a favor.
Because
if it weren't for him, I might not have realized how special she was, how
special she'd always been.
It
was like I was finally seeing her properly for the first time.
And
wild horses couldn’t have made me look away.