Authors: Hazel Kelly
Chapter 21: Andi
I
should've let Steph walk with me.
She
offered, but I was too proud to admit how nervous I was about having to wheedle
my way into a throng of close knit sorority girls.
I
wasn't worried about the guys. I'd spent enough time freshman and sophomore
year with Shane that most of them at least recognized me.
But
the girls were another thing entirely, and while I hoped Shane wouldn't be able
to sense my anxiety, I hoped even more that he wouldn't leave me alone with
them for too long.
And
just as I was crossing the street towards the school bus, he stepped out of the
mob onto the grass along the curb, his gaze fixed right on me, as if he'd seen
me coming from a mile away.
He
was in black boots and a black hat and his shirt had ribbons of forest green
running through it, just like his eyes. I swear if he’d asked me right then to
run away and live on a ranch in Montana with him, I would've said yes.
It
was a ridiculous idea, of course, but we certainly looked the part.
"You
look handsome," I said, smiling as he stepped up to me.
"And
you look like the sexiest cowgirl I've ever seen."
"I'd
take that as a compliment if I thought you’d ever actually seen one."
One
corner of his mouth curled up. "You'd be surprised."
I
raised my eyebrows.
"Nice
pigtails, by the way."
"I
did it to fit in," I said. "Not so you would get the wrong
idea."
"Too
late," he said, his eyes flashing. Then he leaned forward to whisper in my
ear. "But don't worry. I'll only pull them if you want me to."
"I
should think so," I said, my voice full of false calm and my nose full of
his intoxicating cologne.
Fuck.
Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to this.
"Come
on," he said. "Let's get a seat on the bus."
He
grabbed my hand in his and led the way, my feelings of awkwardness pulverized
by the confidence his touch gave me.
I
followed him towards the back of the bus, past countless seats that were
already occupied by people in their giddy up and go gear.
When
he stopped at a seat towards the back, I happily scooted in.
He
sat down and faced forward, his gorgeous jean covered thighs like a wall
between me and the alien culture around me.
"So,"
I said. "Where exactly does this barn dance go down?"
"Some
dude’s farm. About forty five minutes from campus."
"Cool."
"Thanks
again for coming,” he said. “I've really been looking forward to tonight."
I
stuck my hands under my thighs and pressed my knees together before looking at
him. "Thanks. Me, too."
"I'm
glad you trust me to show you a good time."
"Of
course."
"Did
you tell Izzy you were coming or-?"
I
shook my head. "No. You?”
"No,"
he said. "I thought we might just-"
I
raised my eyebrows. "Just what?"
"Shane!"
a voice called from the front of the bus.
He
lifted his head up to shout back at the guy. "What?"
"Your
help is needed in the keg transportation department."
Shane
turned to me. "I'll be right back." Then he gripped the seat in front
of us to pull himself up and raised his eyebrows at me. "Save my
seat?"
"Unless
I get a better offer."
He
nodded and took off, knowing as well as I did that a better seatmate was
unlikely to present itself.
I
turned to look out the window. Across the street, a small group of
frolfers
were
frisbeeing
their
way around an open green space.
And
I didn't mean to start eavesdropping on the girls behind me, but their
conversation was just too juicy.
Plus,
it seemed a safer bet than dwelling on the inexplicable magnetism of Shane's
ridiculous belt buckle… and where it might lead.
"So
this is, like, so messed up you're going to die," the girl behind me said
to her seatmate in a strong Chicago accent.
"Go
on," the other girl said.
"So
the older girls told our pledge class that they were going to take us away to
some lake house to celebrate the fact that we got picked to be in the house.”
"Cool."
"Right?
But the night we got there, they gave us this big speech about how- if we
wanted to be Thetas- we had big shoes to fill and a good reputation to
maintain."
"Sure,"
her seatmate said.
"So
get this. One of the prettiest girls in the house takes off her shirt, and
another girl takes a marker to her and starts circling parts of her body that
the girl needs to work on. You know, like the back of her arms and where her
love handles would be if she even had any."
"Oh.
My god."
"And
then they tell us that we're all going to be subjected to the same
treatment."
Her
seatmate gasped. "No!"
"Yeah.
For real."
"So
did you get your fat circled, too? In front of everyone?"
"Just
listen. So when the first pledge is about to take her shirt off, the doorbell
rings, and all the upperclassmen go, ‘Just kidding! Pizza party!’"
"Fuck
me."
"Isn't
that hilarious?" Chicago asked.
"I
feel sick," the other girl said.
"They
got us good."
Her
seatmate laughed nervously. "They got you alright."
"I
thought it was fucked up at the time," Chicago said. "But we all
laugh about it now."
Her
friend scoffed. "Except for the girls that still think about that night
every time they puke up their pizza."
Chicago
went quiet.
I
was so relieved they were behind me because there was no way I would've been
able to hide the shock on my face.
And
I couldn't wait to tell Izzy. Or could I?
Would
I have to lie about the setting? And what was Shane about to say? I mean, he
obviously hadn't told her either.
I
pushed a stray wisp of hair out of my eyes.
His
failure to mention this to her could only mean one thing- that he knew this was
wrong.
After
all, there was no way he hadn't talked to Izzy since last weekend. And I had,
too.
But
neither of us said a word.
Because
we knew the truth.
We
shouldn't have kissed, shouldn't have liked it, and we certainly shouldn't have
been going on what- for all intents and purposes- was basically a secret date.
And
yet, if letting him kiss me again like he had last weekend was wrong, I didn't
want to be right.
He
was so tender, so strong, and he made me feel so bright and safe and treasured.
If
only he were someone else, someone it would be okay to feel that way about.
But
I wasn't disciplined enough to make myself stay away.
The
feelings I had for him just had to be investigated, like the first time a child
sees a candle and can't help but put their finger near the flame.
Because
even a kid knows getting burned is more interesting than playing it safe.
Chapter 22: Shane
Andi
had never looked so good, and I was having a hard time remembering that we were
friends.
But
there was a strange feeling in the air between us that made me think she wasn't
struggling the same way.
I
could tell she was a little out of her comfort zone- just as Izzy warned me she
would be. But I wished she could see herself the way I did- as the coolest,
smartest, sexiest girl on the bus.
I
couldn't just say that, though. When it came to such matters, words were
insufficient. Only actions could get the message across.
And
that was fine by me because I was ready to show her the time of her life.
I
watched her admire the sunset out her window, the curve of her cheekbone
against the yellow and pink swirls in the sky. I noticed how she squeezed her
hands between her thighs and wished they were my hands…
Would
she let me touch her there? Would she let me see that side of her? The side I
always ignored for my own sanity?
I
hoped so.
Because
sanity didn't interest me anymore.
I
was much more interested in watching her face as she let go. I wanted to see
her lips fall apart and her eyes go dark with pleasure.
"So
what were you going to say before we left?" she asked, turning towards me
as the bus hit a pothole. "About why you didn't tell Izzy you asked
me?"
Fuck.
Well that answered the question about where her head was at.
She
raised her eyebrows. "Well?"
"I
didn't tell her for the same reason you didn't."
"And
what reason do you suppose that is?" she asked, cocking her head.
"Because-"
I stole a glance at her lips and felt a streak of heat travel up the back of my
neck. "This is between us."
She
narrowed her eyes at me. "What is?"
"Whatever
is going on
here.
"
"You
mean the fact that you're getting ideas?"
I
smiled. "What makes you say that?"
"Oh
please, Shane. It's written all over your face."
"What
is?"
She
let her head fall back against the tall bus seat behind her.
I
let my eyes linger on the bare flesh of her delicate neck before looking back
at her face. "Well?"
"You
want to make trouble for us," she said. "Or you wouldn't be looking
at me like that."
"Like
what?"
She
crossed her arms and legs. "Like you want something from me."
I
laughed.
"Is
it the pigtails? Are they really that powerful? Cause I can take them out if
they're making you stupid." She reached for the elastic on the one hanging
between us.
"Don't
you dare," I said, wrapping a hand around hers and pulling it away.
"They didn't do anything wrong." I angled my body towards her, the
muffled sounds on the loud bus making me feel like we were in our own little
bubble. "Besides, they have nothing to do with this."
"With
what?"
"The
fact that you want to make trouble, too," I said. "Not that I
would've personally chosen the word trouble."
"Oh?
What would you have said?"
I
let my eyes roll up until a word came to me. "Fun would've been
better."
She
pursed her glossy lips. "
Mmm
."
"And
as far as me wanting something from you-"
She
raised her eyebrows.
"You're
absolutely right."
"I
thought so."
I
let my head fall back against the seat and rolled it towards her. "But I
don't want anything from you that you don't want from me."
"Is
that so?"
I
fixed my eyes on hers. "Yeah. It is."
She
broke our eye contact.
"And
I haven't had any ideas that you haven't already had."
She
glanced at me out of the corner of her eye.
"Am
I right?"
"Would
you believe me if I said no?"
I
lifted my head. "Would you lie to my face?"
She
swallowed.
"Good,"
I said. "So it’s settled. We’ll leave Izzy out of this for the moment and
just have a good time."
She
nodded, her eyes on me like I was an unpredictable animal.
"Besides,"
I said, hearing the bus crunch onto a gravel driveway. "If I get my way,
there won't be any room between us for an extra person."
She
pushed my arm. "Don't be ridiculous."
I
craned my neck back. "What?"
"Don't
try to put me in some kind of sexual trance with your steely eyes and your
chiseled jaw and your-"
"Please
go on."
"You
wish."
"No
really,” I said. “It's nice to hear that you're as attracted to me as I am to
you."
She
rolled her eyes. "You're not attracted to me, Shane. You just can't help
yourself from wanting what you think you can't have."
"That
doesn't make any sense."
"Doesn't
it?"
"Not
at all," I said, shaking my head as the bus pulled to a stop.
"Because I think I can have you."
Her
lashes fluttered.
"And
I think I will."
"I'm
really flattered, Shane, but-"
"Good."
"Get
off the bus."
I smiled.
"Sounds like somebody needs a drink?"
"Yeah,"
she said, standing up and smoothing her skirt down. "A beer for me and an
animal tranquilizer for you."
I
backed into the aisle and made some space so she could step in front of me.
"Thanks,"
she said, sidestepping out of the seat.
"And
it would be my pleasure to get you a drink as soon as we get off the bus."
"Glad
to hear it," she said.
"But
as far as the animal tranquilizers, this isn't that kind of party."
"Shame."
"Besides,"
I said, leaning down to whisper in her ear as the line scooted towards the
front. "It'll take a lot more than that to make me change my mind about
having you."
She
turned around and stuck a pointed finger right into my chest. "Behave
yourself."
"Or
what?" I asked, my mouth curling into a smile. "You'll make me
behave? Because that would be fine with me, too. In fact, I'd probably love
nothing more than-"
"Unbelievable,"
she said, throwing her hands in the air and shaking her head as she turned back
towards the front of the bus.
"Yeah,"
I mumbled to myself. "You are."