Authors: Hazel Kelly
Chapter 12: Shane
I
took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
There
was no answer.
I
tried once more, a little louder this time. And then the horrible thought she
might be out with Mike became a lump in my throat.
I
opened my mouth to call her name and then closed it again, turning on my heels towards
the stairwell instead.
"Shane?"
I
spun back towards the door.
Andi
was standing in a towel, and her dark hair was dripping small streams of water
that pooled beside her collarbone.
"I
didn't realize-" I swallowed, trying to keep my eyes on her face. "I
should've called."
She
cocked her head. "You
gonna
come in?"
"If
it's not a bad time."
Her
eyes smiled. "Not at all. What's up?"
I
lifted my left hand. "You forgot your sandwich."
Her
eyes dropped to the leftover sub in my hand.
"I
didn't know if it was an accident or-"
She
narrowed her eyes at me as if she could see right through my pathetic excuse to
come see her.
"Thanks,"
she said, taking a step back to open the door wider.
I stepped
past her, the flowery scent off her wet hair filling my nose.
She
closed the door behind me and locked it every way she could.
There
was a bottle of champagne- or rather, two thirds of a bottle- on the coffee
table beside a small mug.
"Have
you been drinking?" I asked.
"Would
you judge me if I said yes?" She stepped up beside me, gripping the top of
the towel where it cut across her chest.
"Of
course not," I said, noticing a sparkle in her eye that made my groin
twitch.
She
took the sandwich from my hand and walked towards the small kitchen nook on the
other side of the sitting room. "Stephanie's at a retreat until late, and
after yesterday I figured I deserved a sloppy chill day."
"Understandable,"
I said, my guts clenching when I realized we were alone and separated by
nothing but a wet towel. I exhaled through my nose and ran a hand through my
hair.
"So
what'll it be?" she called from around the corner.
"What
do you mean?"
She
poked her head out of the kitchen nook. "What can I get you to
drink?"
I
had a test the next day that I really should’ve been preparing for, but if I
went home, I'd just be fighting off the distraction of a house full of guys.
And frankly, the distraction here was far more enticing. "What have you
got?"
"Anything
you want besides liquor and red wine."
I
furrowed my brow. "Does that mean my choices are beer or white wine?"
She
nodded. "Or champagne."
"I'll
take a beer," I said. "But I can get it myself. You don't have
to-"
I heard
a beer cap clatter against the kitchen counter. A moment later, she came around
the corner with it.
That's
when I really got the urge to pinch myself.
Could
this really be happening? Andi in a towel? Bringing me a cold beer after I'd
been thinking about her like a horny teen all day?
"Bottoms
up," she said, handing me the bottle.
"Thanks,"
I said, taking a swig. "But I really should be going."
Her
face dropped. "What? You just got h-"
"I
need to go buy a lottery ticket."
She
furrowed her brow. "I didn't know you played the lottery?"
"I
don't, but I just showed up uninvited to find you soaking wet in nothing but a
towel and you invite me in and bring me a beer. Come on. This is obviously my
lucky day."
She
rolled her eyes and pushed her free hand against my chest. "Shut up."
"Your
lip looks better already.”
She
froze and stared at me, her eyes hard to read in the dim light.
I
lifted her chin and looked at it.
Her
breath hitched in her throat.
I dragged
my thumb across her lip so lightly I barely skimmed it and stopped right before
the red crack.
"I
should get dressed," she whispered, breaking my trance.
"Of
course," I said, dropping my hand and knowing I'd missed a chance to kiss
her again. Then again, I didn't know how long she'd been drinking, and she was
the last person on Earth I would ever want to take advantage of.
"Make
yourself comfortable," she said, nodding towards the couch. "I'll be
out in second."
One
side of my mouth curled up in a smile. "Let me know if you need any help
in there."
She
raised her eyebrows. "Let me guess. Undergarments are your
specialty?"
"Wouldn't
you like to know?" I asked, my eyes flashing.
"Yeah,
you got me," she said, waving me away as she started towards her room.
"I lie awake wondering about it every night." She shut her bedroom
door without looking back at me.
I
took a seat on the couch, sinking into the ancient cushions as I let my eyes
scan the items near the champagne.
There
was an open copy of Aesop's fables face down on the table at the start of a
story called “The Lion in Love,” which I assumed Andi had been reading since
she'd loved stories with animal characters for as long as I'd known her.
Beside
it, there was a pamphlet for a religious retreat clipped to a note.
Andi,
if you need me for any reason, this is where I'll be this weekend (I'll have my
phone). I'm back Sunday night. Have a great weekend, xx Steph
I opened
the pamphlet. The subject matter was a bit heavy so I only got a few paragraphs
in, but it seemed to reiterate the basic understanding I had of Steph's
beliefs, which was that God chose things for her that were fated, and it was up
to her to use her free will to stay on track towards her destiny.
And
by the number of attendees they claimed they'd have at the gathering, she
wasn't alone.
Personally,
I was all for people having their own beliefs, but it did strike me as odd that
she was so devoted to becoming a doctor when I personally struggled to see how
science and religion were compatible.
At
the same time, though, part of me wished I had the beliefs she did.
Not
because I needed the security blanket of faith to sleep at night, but because
being able to use God’s will as an excuse for my actions seemed like the kind
of crutch that would offer tangible piece of mind when I needed it.
"You
thinking of enrolling for the one next month?" Andi asked, her hip cocked
at the end of the couch. She was wearing a yellow sundress that went down to
the floor.
"Only
if you'll go with me."
"No
chance in hell," she said, plopping on the couch beside me, her hair
dripping less after a good towel dry.
"Not
your thing?"
She
topped up her mug with champagne and leaned back on the couch. "Not at
all. Don't get me wrong. I love Steph to death, and she is hands down one of
the smartest, kindest, least judgmental people I've ever met."
"Okay."
"But
I hate the idea that everything is fated." She crossed her legs towards
me. "I don't know how I'd get up in the morning if I believed everything
was already chosen for me, if I believed all I had to do was go through the
motions and not ask questions."
"You
don't think it would take some pressure off if you thought that?"
She
shrugged. "I suppose it might, but isn't pressure what makes life
interesting? I mean, what really thrills me isn't the idea of fate. It's the
idea that I can change the whole course of my life in an instant if I want to.”
I
cocked my head.
“I
could wake up tomorrow and start over, and I wouldn’t need anyone else’s
approval… especially not the approval of some virgin who’s gotten all his life
experience from books."
I
raised my eyebrows. "Whoa."
"Don't
tell Steph I said that."
"Of
course not."
"And
I don't mean to sound so harsh," she said, angling her body towards me.
"That's
okay. I don't disagree with you."
"I
just meant that I like the unpredictability of living my life moment to
moment."
I stared
at her bare, glowing face. She was so naturally beautiful it seemed unfair that
other girls had to go to so much trouble.
"I
want to believe that I have the power to change
things, that
I can be whatever I want." Her eyes went wide. "I mean, who I want.
Whatever. You know what I’m trying to say."
"I
do," I said. "And I get it. To be honest, I think we've always wanted
the same things."
She
cast her eyes down at the space between us like she didn't quite agree.
But
before I could say anything more, there was a knock at the door.
Chapter 13: Andi
Every
hair on my body stood at attention as I tried to convince myself I hadn't heard
the familiar knock.
"Andi,
it's me. Open up."
Shane's
jaw clenched when he heard the voice.
"I
came to apologize, baby. Let me in."
I
swallowed.
Shane
made a move to stand up, but I rose in front of him and laid a hand on his
chest.
"You've
done enough," I said. "I can handle this."
His
eyes pleaded with me. "I made him promise he wouldn't contact you-"
"Sit,"
I whispered, nodding towards the couch. "I'm not even going to let him
in."
He
took a deep breath, his eyes on mine as the knock came again, followed by a
forceful jiggle of the doorknob.
"C'mon,
baby. I'm going crazy out her," Mike said, shaking the whole door in its
frame.
"I'll
be right here," Shane said, squeezing my hand. "You got this."
Having
them so near each other made it really obvious how inappropriate my feelings
for Mike were. I mean, every cell in my body was intimidated by him and ill at
ease with how unpredictable he could be.
And
then there was Shane, who was more like a mountain. A shield. An impenetrable
force that made me feel completely safe. Any uneasiness I felt around him was
down to my own inappropriate attraction as opposed to his behavior.
"Andi,
I-"
Mike
stopped speaking when I slid the chain lock off.
Part
of me wanted to turn and look at Shane again, to draw strength from his gaze,
but I could feel him staring at me so hard it was almost like he was propping
me up anyway.
I
undid the deadbolt next, followed by the button on the knob. Then I planted my
foot behind the door to make sure he didn't try to push his way in and cracked
it open.
Mike
was standing in the stark hallway with a bouquet of wildflowers… and a thick
white bandage over his nose.
"Hi,"
I said.
His
whole chest seemed to deflate when he saw me, as if he'd been holding his
breath for two days. "Hi."
I
raised my eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"
"I
came to apologize," he said. "And I brought you these." He
extended the flowers in my direction.
I
shook my head. "I don't want flowers from you, Mike. I want you to leave
me alone."
He
furrowed his brow. "Can I come in?"
"No.
You can't."
"But
we need to talk."
"There's
nothing to talk about. We're through."
He
pushed the door and it only opened an inch before it hit the side of my foot.
"It's like that, is it?"
"Yeah."
"After
everything we've been through?"
I
glanced down at the worn carpet between us and then raised my eyes towards his.
"What we've been through was hell, Mike, and I'm done."
"You
don't mean it," he said. "Give me one more chance to show you
how-"
"What?"
My eyes narrowed. "How long you can go without hurting me again? How many
lies I have to tell to feel safe around you?"
"Lies?"
"How
many bullshit excuses you can make up for why it's okay to treat me like you
have been lately?"
"No.
To show you how many-"
"Save
it," I said. "Your words don't mean shit to me anymore, and neither
do you."
His
face dropped.
"I'm
all out of last chances with your name on them so you'll have to find someone
else to push around."
"Oh
my god he's there isn't he?"
I furrowed
my brow. "What? Who?"
He
dropped his hand so the flowers hung at his side.
“The prick who put
you up to this."
"Nobody
put me up to this-"
"The
prick who broke my nose yesterday."
Lucky
for me, I was as horrified as I was amused, which was the only reason I managed
to keep from smiling.
He
craned his neck forward. "Weren't you even going to ask what happened to
my fucking nose?"
I
shook my head. "No, I wasn’t. Because like I told you, I don't care about
you anymore. Your nose, your anger, and your bogus GPA are no longer my
concern."
His
lips formed a straight line.
"Besides,
whatever happened, you probably had it coming to you."
His
face began to redden around the white bandage as he flexed and fisted his free
hand.
"But
for what it's worth, I wish you every happiness and hope you can learn to
manage your jealousy so-"
"You
know he just wants you for himself, right?"
I
turned an ear towards him. "Excuse me?"
"Shane.
Your
so called friend. He's always wanted me out of
the picture and-"
"Well
now you are," I said. "And if you ever come to my door again, I'm
going to call the police."
"You're
not serious."
"I'm
as serious as domestic abuse, Mike."
His
eyes bounced back and forth between mine.
"Are
we clear?"
"Just
tell me if he's here," he said, raising up on his toes in an attempt to
peek over my head. "I'm dying to know how quickly he weaseled his way into
your-"
"Get
lost, Mike. My life isn't your business anymore."
"That's
what I thought."
I
rolled my eyes.
"Watch
out for him, Andi. I don't know what he's told you, but he's only after one
thing, and it's not being your fucking shoulder to cry on."
"Have
a nice life. I hope you get yourself some help."
As
soon as I shut the door, I heard the bouquet explode against it.
Then
I listened to his steps disappear down the hallway and locked all three locks
again, suddenly conscious of how hard my heart was beating in my chest.
"You
were great."
I
turned around to find Shane standing a foot away with a kind look in his eye.
"Yeah?"
He
nodded and opened his arms. "Come here."
I
stepped into his hug and let him wrap his arms around me while I wished he
didn't smell quite so good. Couldn't he turn his sexy down or something so it
wasn't so loud all the time?
I
squeezed two clumps of his shirt in my fists and pressed my forehead into the
crook of his neck. "You didn't tell me you broke his nose."
He
shrugged, squeezing me in the process. "I didn't realize I had."
I
didn't want to let go, but I knew I was dangerously close to holding on too
tight and too long.
"I'm
in a bit of a pickle now," he said when I stepped back.
"Why?"
I asked, raising my eyebrows. "Cause he outed you for the secret crush you
have on me?"
He
smiled. "No. Cause I told him that if he ever came anywhere near you
again, I was going to beat him to a pulp… or something like that."
I
glanced down. "I see."
"And
I like to keep my word."
"I
know."
"But
I'm also aware that you cared for that guy at some point, and I don't want to
lose you
cause
I got violent with some asshole that's
no longer relevant."
"Lose
me?"