My Enemy, the Queen (8 page)

ell,she cried, hat think you of my Lord Leicester, eh? Methinks you like better yon lang lad.She nodded towards Lord Darnley and I saw Melville flinch a little. I did not understand then, but later I realized she was letting him know that she was aware of the supposedly secret negotiations which were in progress to marry Mary of Scotland to Lord Darnley. It was characteristic of her that while she tickled Robert neck she was considering the outcome of a marriage between Mary and the tall young man.

Later she pretended to be against it while at the same time doing everything she could to bring it about. She had summed up Darnleyot yet twenty years old, very slender so that he looked even taller than he in fact was, a pretty boy with round, rather prominent blue eyes and soft skin as delicately colored as a peach. The effect was charming enough for anyone who liked pretty boys. He had a veneer of pleasant manners, too, but there was something peevish and even cruel about those slack lips. He played the lute well and danced charmingly, and of course he had a flimsy claim to the succession, for his mother was the daughter of Margaret Tudor, Henry VIII sister.

To compare him with Robert was to call attention to his weakness. I could see that the Queen reveled in the comparison and was as determined as Melville that secretly nothing should be placed in the way of Darnley going to Scotland while outwardly she would pretend to be against it.

After the ceremony, when she retired to her private apartments, Robertow Earl of Leicester and on the way to becoming the most powerful man in the kingdomisited her.

I sat in the women chambers while everyone talked of the ceremony and how fine the Earl of Leicester had looked and how proud the Queen had been of him. Had we noticed how she tickled his neck? She doted on him so much that she could not hide her love for him at a public ceremony before officials and ambassadors. What must she be like in private?

We giggled together. t won be long now,declared someone. Many of them were ready to wager that this was to prepare the way. It would be easier for a queen to marry the Earl of Leicester than it would to have taken Lord Robert Dudley. When Elizabeth had suggested he was a fit bridegroom for a queen, she had not meant Mary of Scotland but Elizabeth of England.

I was alone with her later. She asked me what I had thought of the ceremony, and I replied that it had seemed very impressive.

he Earl of Leicester looked very handsome, did he not?

xceedingly so, Madam.

never saw a more handsome man, did you? Nay, do not answer me that. As a virtuous wife you would not think he compared with Walter Devereux.

She was looking at me sharply and I wondered whether I had betrayed my interest in Robert.

hey are two very admirable men, Your Majesty.

She laughed and gave me a playful pinch. o be truthful,she said, here is not a man at Court who can compare with the Earl of Leicester. But you see Walter as his equal and that pleases me. I like not unfaithful wives.

I felt a twinge of uneasiness. But how could she know the effect Robert had on me? I had never betrayed it surely, and he had never glanced my way. Perhaps she thought that all women must desire him.

She went on: offered him to the Queen of Scotland. She did not think him worthy of her. She had never seen him or she would have changed her mind. I paid her the greatest compliment I could pay anyone. I offered her the Earl of Leicester, and I will tell you something: If I had not decided to die unmarried and in the virgin state the only man I would have married would have been Robert Dudley.

know of Your Majesty affection for him and his for Your Majesty.

have told this to the Scottish Ambassador, and do you know what he replied, Lettice?

I waited respectfully to hear and she went on: e said, adam, you need not tell me. I know your stately stomach. You think that if you married you would be but Queen of England and now you are both King and Queen. You will not suffer a commander.

nd did Your Majesty agree with him?

She gave me a little push. think you know full well.

know,I said, hat I count myself fortunate to be connected by blood with your royalty and to serve such a noble lady.

She nodded. here are burdens I must accept,she said. hen I saw him standing there before me today, I could have found it in my heart to throw aside my resolutions.

Our eyes met. Those large pupils were searching lamps which looked into my mind. They made me apprehensive then as they were to so often in the future.

should always be guided by my destiny,she said. e must needs accept itRobert and I.

I felt that she was warning me in a way and I wondered what had been said of me. My attractions had not been impaired by childbearing; in fact I believe they had been enhanced. I had been aware of men eyes following me, and I had heard it said that I was a very desirable woman.

will show you something,she said, and she rose and went to a drawer. She took from it a small package wrapped in paper and on the outside was written in her handwriting: y Lord Picture.

She undid it and there was a miniature. Robert face looked out at me.

Tis a very fair likeness,she said. hink you not so?one could think it other than my Lord Leicester. showed it to Melville and he thought it a good likeness too. He wished to take it to his mistress, for he felt that once she looked on that face she would never be able to refuse him.She laughed slyly. would not allow him to have it. It is the only one I have of him, I told Melville, so I could not spare it. I think he understood.

She had handed it to me and now she snatched it rather sharply. She carefully wrapped it up. It was symbolic of her feelings for him. She would never let him go.

There was no doubt that Robert had believed that, having been so honored by the Queen, the next step would be marriage, and I too believed that this was really what she intended, despite her insistence on her determination to remain in the virgin state. He was very rich nowne of the richest men in Englandnd he immediately set about improving the castle of Kenilworth. It was only to be expected that he gave himself airs, and he was certainly on very familiar terms with the Queen. Her bedchamber was in some ways a state chamber, and after the custom of ages she had received ministers in it, but Robert continued to enter unannounced and unbidden. Once he snatched the shift from the lady whose duty it was to hand it to her and gave it to her himself; he had been seen to kiss her while she was in bed.

I was reminded of what I had heard of Elizabeth past with Thomas Seymour when he had made free in her bedchamber; but I was growing more and more convinced that there had been no physical lovemaking between them. Elizabeth was always greatly amused by the titillation of the sensesers and those of her admirersnd some said this was how she intended her relationships to remain.

There were a great many rumors about her and naturally these strayed far from the truth; but her matrimonial cavortings were the wonder of the world. There could never have been a queen who had been wooed so often and never won; and while this provided the utmost and enjoyable entertainment for the Queen, it was decidedly embarrassing and unflattering for her suitors.

Robert, at the head of these, was beginning to be exasperated. They were both of an age which was no longer young and surely if the Queen was going to get a healthy heir it was time she married.

As a queen she knew the importance of this and yet she dallied. When her hand had been sought by foreign princes it had been thought that she declined them because she wanted Robert Dudley; but now that time was passing and she showed no inclination to marry, all but Robert most bitter enemies would have preferred to see her married to him since she certainly appeared to be in love with him.

However, she held back, and then people began to wonder if there was some other reason why she refused to marry. It was whispered that there was something about her which was different from other women. She could never bear children, it was hinted and, knowing this, it seemed pointless for her to marry a man merely to let him share her throne. It was whispered that her laundresses had let out the secret that she had so few monthly periods that the implication was that she could not bear children. I was of the opinion though that not one of her laundresses would have dared betray such a secret. It was a mystery, for if ever a woman was in love Elizabeth was in love at that time with Robert Dudley; and the odd thing was that she made no effort to conceal it.

I used to wonder whether her upbringing had had some effect on her. She had been a baby of three when her mother had died, but she was old enougheing exceptionally precociouso have missed her. It seemed hardly likely that her gay and clever mother spent a great deal of time with her daughter, but I imagined the visits she did pay would have been memorable to the child. Anne Boleyn had been noted for her elegant taste and I had heard that she took a delight in dressing her daughter in beautiful garments. Then suddenly she would have disappeared. I could picture the quick-witted little girl asking questions and not being satisfied with the answers. The lovely clothes came no more and instead her governess had had to send special pleas to the King for a few necessary garments of which his daughter was in urgent need. A father would be formidable who had beheaded two wives. One stepmother had died in childbirth, another had been despised and divorced; and lastly there had been Katharine Parr, the kind and lovely Dowager Queen whose husband she had philandered with to such an extent that she had been dismissed from their home. Then had followed a life spent in and out of prisons with the executioner ax suspended precariously over her head. And at last to come to the throne. No wonder she was determined to keep it. No wonder, with such a father, she distrusted the passions of men. Could this be the reason why she was not going to surrender one small part of her power even to her beloved Robert?

But he was growing very restive as the months passed and we often overheard sharp words between them. Once we heard her reminding him that she was the Queen and he had better take care. After that he would go away sullenly and she would fret for him, and he would come back and they would be friends again.

There was a great deal of talk about what was happening in Scotland.

Mary had married Darnley, much to Elizabeth secret amusement although she pretended to be incensed about it. She used to laugh about Mary with Robert. hel sup sorrow with a long spoon,she said, nd to think that she might have had you, Robert.

I believed she wanted to punish Mary for not taking Robert although she, Elizabeth, had no intention that she should.

She was now winning the true respect of the wily politicians around her. Men like William Cecil, Chancellor Nicholas Bacon and the Earl of Sussex began to see in her an astute politician. Her position in the beginning had been an uneasy one. How could she feel safe when the slur of illegitimacy could be flung at her at any time? There could never have been a ruler in a more vulnerable position than Elizabeth. She was about thirty-three years of age at this time and somehow she had managed to find a place in her people hearts which rivaled that which her father had held. In spite of everything he had done he had never lost the people favor; he might squander the country wealth on ventures such as the Field of the Cloth of Gold; he might take six wives and murder two of them; but he was still their hero and their King and there had never been a serious attempt to depose him. Elizabeth was his daughter in looks and in manner; her voice resembled his; she swore as he had done; everywhere she went it was said: here goes great Harry daughter,and she knew that this was one of the greatest advantages she possessed. No one could deny the fact that she was Henry daughter and that there had been a time when he had accepted her as legitimate.

But she must be wary and she was. Mary Queen of Scots was a claimant to the throne. Therefore what better than to marry her to a weak dissolute youth who would help to being Scotland low and disgust those who might be inclined to favor Mary. Catharine and Mary Greyady Jane sistersere both in the Tower, having married without the Queen consent. Thus she had arranged that those in England who might be considered to have a greater claim to the throne than she had were safely under lock and key.

News came that the Queen of Scots was pregnant. This was disconcerting. If Mary showed herself fruitful by bearing a son, people would begin comparing her with the Queen of England. She was downcast until news came of that fateful supper in Holyrood House in Edinburgh when, before the eyes of the heavily pregnant Queen, her Italian secretary Rizzio had been murdered. She pretended to be shocked and angry when the suggestion that Rizzio was Mary lover was mentioned, but she was secretly pleased. At the same time she was wistful. Oh, she was an enigma, this Queen of ours.

The Court was at Greenwich favorite palace of the Queen because she had been born there. The presence chamber here was very fine, hung with rich tapestry, and she always enjoyed showing newcomers the room in which she was born. She would stand in that room, a strange expression in her eyes, and I wondered whether she was thinking of her mother lying there, exhausted, with her beautiful black hair spread on the pillow. Was she thinking of the agony of Anne Boleyn when she was told: t is a girlwhen a boy would have made all the difference to her future. There would be a fierce determination in her face sometimes as though she were telling herself she would prove better than any boy.

Well, there we were on this occasionhe in one of her magnificent dresses from her overfull wardrobe, white and crimson satin sewn all over with pearls the size of birdseggs, and a ruff in which tiny diamonds glittered like dewdrops.

She was dancing with Thomas Heneage, a very handsome man to whom she was beginning to show a great deal of favor, when William Cecil entered. There was that about his demeanor which suggested that he had important news to impart, and the Queen signed to him to come to her at once. He whispered to her and I saw her turn pale. I was near her, dancing with Christopher Hatton, one of the finest dancers at Court.