My Favorite Distraction (Distraction #1) (20 page)

“So will I see you later?”
she asked me, but I was too confused about my feelings to answer her right away. “Katarina, are you coming home tonight?”

I stared at her, my best friend, and wondered why she was looking at my man like that. Why was she touching him? I was mad…I think.

“No, I am staying with Jason. I really like him, Heather, I mean a lot.” Those words snapped her out of her haze, and she looked at me. I knew she was planning her charm and her swift seduction, and I was growing more pissed by the second. My face showed her everything I was feeling.

“Sorry, Katie
, I have never had such a fine man in my apartment that wasn’t here to be with me. Of course you like him. He’s sex on a stick.”

I felt my fists tighten
.

“
Relax, Katie. I won’t touch him the way I want to until you’re done.”

Now I was furious
. My voice rose a little louder than I wanted it to.

“No
, I like him because he is kind and patient and caring, Heather. He is thoughtful and honest, and he doesn’t have this secret agenda. Not because he is ‘sex on a stick.’” I used my fingers around the “sex on a stick” comment. “He just likes me, and he’s…
mine
! I don’t like the way you were looking at him or touching him. Please…stop it.”

I finished my very loud tirade
, and her face was all scrunched up. I knew I had hurt her feelings. She got up and stomped out of the room. It actually made me laugh a little. She looked funny in high heels and a tight skirt, stomping. I turned to walk to my bedroom and saw Jason staring at me. He was smirking.

“I am yours?”

I couldn’t remember saying it. I was so infuriated at Heather I wasn’t thinking; I was yelling. I watched as his face grew more smug.

“I knew you cared for me, but you’re so possessive.”

What an ass, an arrogant ass.

I grabbed my bags I
had placed by the front door and opened it to leave. “You wish,” was all I could say as I made my way to my car. I heard him laugh behind me very loudly, but I didn’t think anything was funny.

I started up my car and pulled out of the driveway
, heading for work, when my phone buzzed with a text. I looked at it.

Jason: I love that I am YOURS

I couldn’t believe I had acted like a child in front of him, a toddler with a favorite toy or candy. I was mad at him because he heard me embarrass myself. None of what I was doing made any sense. I had so many emotions about this man, and it amazed me that I had this many feelings in such a short time. I had gone from not believing or wanting to ever feel anything for someone to placing ownership on a person. I was acting like a fool. I had known Heather longer and trusted her more. I would give her anything I owned. I placed no value on items, and yet I was drawing a line in the sand with Jason. He was mine, or I wanted more than anything for him to be mine. What was I saying? I was falling for a man I knew I would never end up with. I was thinking way too much about this amazing man, and I needed to stop.

I arrived at work late. My patient was already seated, and the dental assistant was taking x-rays. I changed and cleaned myself up and began my day. At lunch I avoided my phone, because I didn’t want to start dwelling about everything all over. I ate lunch with the girls and listened to all of their very entertaining stories. I didn’t talk. I just enjoyed listening and laughing.

After work
I headed to Jason’s house. I still refused to check my phone. I think I was more scared that he didn’t text me after I had embarrassed myself. I did nothing but think nonstop about my morning’s actions until I pulled into Jason’s driveway. I began to feel nervous not knowing what he thought, not knowing how I really felt. Part of me wanted to run. Part of me knew that this was the most I had ever felt a sense of belonging, the happiest I had ever been, and I could never leave. I shut off the engine and took a deep breath.

I pulled the Mercedes in the garage
. Jason left it open for me, which I thought was a very sweet gesture. I grabbed my bags and made my way to the door leading inside. I grinned as I passed the new door without a dog door hole in it. I took one more deep breath before stepping into the house.  I entered the kitchen and I saw grocery bags on the counter. Bo greeted me, and I knelt down to pet him. I put my stuff down and went over to the dishwasher to empty the dishes. I felt a little nervous when I heard Jason come down the stairs and enter the kitchen. I purposely didn’t greet him, didn’t turn. I just continued to work keeping my hands busy and putting the dishes away.

“Hello
, did you have a good day?” He was behind me. I heard him putting the groceries away. I turned to face him, closing the dishwasher.

“Yes
, it was a great day.” My voice sounded more frigid than I wanted it to.

“I have been thinking about this morning all day.” His voice
was dreamy and his movements froze when he eyed me.

I quickly changed the subject
, my face beet red. “Why did you buy groceries if you’re going to be gone?”

He
frowned. He knew exactly what I was doing.

“I got fruit and veggies for you. I want you to stay healthy.” He gave me a playful smile and continued
. “So it’s clear I am
yours
. What I have been pondering all day is do you want to be mine?”

I flinched when he raised his voice as he said
“
yours
.” He saw me and gave me a smug smile. He enjoyed this. I avoided his eyes and looked down.

“What would I have to do to be yours? Does it involve a table and a fuck?” My voice was more of a whisper
. I was scared of his answer. His breath hitched when I said “fuck.”

“Sassy…I bought some stuff for you today
.”

I looked up as he held up a bag and began removing things from it
, funny-looking things. I stepped closer to get a better look. When I realized what they were, my face got red, and my stomach flipped over. He started talking when he saw my reaction.

“I thought when I was gone you could masturbate.
” I stopped listening after that. He finished his thought, but I crossed my arms over my chest. I wasn’t going to masturbate. He had fire in his eyes, which were slightly hazed over and because of that look I was kicking myself for not paying more attention to his words.

I eyed the items he displayed on the counter
, three dildos of various textures, all roughly the same size. I had anxiety just thinking about what he wanted me to do with them.

“This one can stick to the bathtub or shower
.”

I
t was rubbery and had a suction cup on the bottom. I don’t know why, but it made me giggle.

“This one vibrates
.” He turned it on, and I jumped. He laughed. “This one is glass and has ribbing.”

I
focused on him, amused by all of it. He grew really serious. My face fell, trying to gauge how to play this. I glanced at the items again.

“What is that?” I pointed to a smaller object
, and he picked it up and gave me a wicked smile.

“It’s a butt plug.”

“Oh.” I wanted to say “ouch” but his mood was untouchable right now.

H
e also had tubes of lubrication. I stood there speechless, while he flashed all of his white teeth in a huge ‘I want to torture your body right now’ smile.

“Take off your shirt and pants.”

I glared at him, stunned at his request. His face was too serious to be joking, so I did as I was told. He picked me up and set me on the cold, hard counter. He reached around me and took off my bra. He stared into my eyes the whole time, still very serious. It made me nervous.

“I am going to show you how to masturbate, but I won’t have sex with you tonight without the plug.”

My eyes rounded, but I made no move to get off the counter.

“To be mine
, I need you to trust me, always. I need you to try everything once without question. If you don’t like it, I’ll accept that and try something else. I need you to try it once, maybe twice. I told you I want to push your limits. What do you say…Do you want to be mine?”

I watched
the slow spreading smile appear on his face, and he moved me slightly to take off my panties. He lifted my feet and placed them one by one on the counter, my knees up and legs spread open. He took my right hand and placed two fingers in his mouth, then repeated with my left hand. He moved slowly, in no rush. I gazed into his emerald eyes, and he appeared tender and vulnerable. He placed both fingers on my boobs and stood back to watch. My eyes never moved from his.

“Start off slow and light
. When you are less sensitive, you can get a little more aggressive.” He watched me move my fingers, and I studied his face as it changed, from hungry to starved. He licked his lips and adjusted his sweats. He studied me like prey and I observed him the same way. “That’s right, now harder. Pinch them and pull just like that. Can you handle rougher?”

I wasn’t even paying attention to what I was doing
. I was just watching him watch me, setting the trap for him to pounce. I was close to the addictive feeling I craved; my release was hovering. He started to breathe heavy. His hands were shifting from place to place on his body.

“Shit
, Katarina, you are so wet you are dripping all over the counter.”

I started to shift
, but he stopped me. He grabbed my right hand and placed it on my clit, and I almost climaxed at the contact. My eyes fell closed. I began to move my knees together, but he stopped me. He spread my knees wide for him again and bent down in front of me. He started to lick my tender bundle of nerves over my fingers. The feel of his tongue on my finger was hot, soft, and extremely sexy. It felt wonderful. My knees started to close again, and he stood up and pulled away. I was breathing hard now, my eyes glazed over.

“Fuck
, Katarina, you are so fucking beautiful.” He lifted my hand away and set it behind me on the counter. I thought he was getting himself ready. I flashed him my sweet victory smile because I was getting
my
way.
He fell head first into my trap
. I saw his finger slip inside me, but he was careful not to touch the more sensitive nerves that ran along the walls inside me. His eyes rolled back. “You are so swollen inside.” Deep inside me, I felt him rub what felt like a highly sensitive area deep inside me. He quickly removed his fingers and lifted me off the counter. He reached over and put lubricant on the butt plug. “Bend over.”

I stepped back.
“No, I am not doing that.”

His face grew tense, but he said nothing. He set it down and swiftly turned around.

“Well
, you can take a shower then. I’ll start dinner. It’ll be ready in about a half an hour.”

“Ah…I don’t need a shower
, or your toys. I’m fine. I just need to change.”

I ran upstairs into the bedroom. My body sh
ook uncontrollably. I was pacing, my mind racing.
What the hell was I doing here? What was he turning me into?
I quickly put on my gym clothes and running shoes. I ran downstairs, taking them two at a time, with Bo on my heels. Jason glared at me as I entered the kitchen. He had a wooden spoon in hand and was beating whatever was in the sauce pan.  His jaw still clenched, lips thinned and his eyes held a dark place.
Yep, he was pissed
.

“I am going to go for a run before dinner.”
I acted unaffected by his disappointment.

He looked at the clock
on the microwave.

“I just need fifteen minutes
, and then I will come in and take a cold shower before dinner.”

He
smirked at that. I opened the back door, and Bo took off first.

We ran
partway around the lake. Bo was breathing hard, and I couldn’t even feel my legs anymore. It was though I couldn’t clear my mind of Jason.  I sprinted the last hundred yards or so and filled Bo’s water dish when we reached the house.  I slowed my breathing, slowly stretching my legs and arms in the process.  By the time I reentered the house I felt so much better. Bo walked in before me and collapsed on the hard wood floor. He was still panting. I waved at Jason as I skipped up the stairs to the bathroom. I blushed at the sight of the dildos that were displayed on the bed. I took a quick, icy cold shower, trying to avoid the still-sensitive areas on my body. I got out and dried myself, then put on a pair of yoga pants and my tight shirt from earlier, without a bra. I was planning my revenge. I blew-dry my hair and made my way downstairs.

“Smells good,” I
praised, entering the kitchen.

Jason
turned around with two platefuls of food in his hands. He was wearing the faded green sweat shirt zipped halfway, and I just looked at his chest. He was so handsome. I felt the warmth in my body ripple, creating waves.  I drew in a deep breath, licked my lips as a goofy grin spread across my face. He set the food down, and I strolled around the counter to take my seat. He sat next to me. His leg was pressed against mine, and he leaned over to place a fork on the other side of my plate. He brushed my nipples with his wrist intentionally in the process and I couldn’t help the small moan that escaped my lips. “So you didn’t try the shower dildo, huh?” He flashed an arrogant smiled. It was amusing to me that I went from numb to overwhelmingly aware of his touch. I couldn’t control the noises he provoked and the feeling of warm sensation he created throughout my entire body. He fascinated me.

“No
, I am better than that. I can control it.” At least, I was almost positive I could. I cut my steak and began to chew, determined to not let him provoke me. “So tomorrow you leave. Are you excited…to hang out with your brother-in-laws, I mean.” His face contorted like I had poured cold water on him.

“No
, truth is, I feel weird about all of it. I’m not sure this is my crowd.” He shoveled food into his mouth before he could say more.

“You
should just go and enjoy the quiet time.” He was silently eating, so I kept talking, “I think God just wants us to be good to each other—you know, don’t lie, steal, and cheat. I think he wants us to give back to the community, money or time. You don’t have to be a Bible thumper. Just have him in your heart.”

He stopped and
eyed at me intently.

“Just don’t talk to anyone
. Be there for you. Do a lot of meditating and soul-searching, that kind of thing. I think you will enjoy it.” I smiled, and he gave me a warm smile back.

“What about us…this?”

I raised my eyebrows, concerned where he was going with his question.

“Jason
, nothing will change here.  It will be like, pause.  You’ll leave, do all the soul searching your big fat heart can stand.  Then you’ll come home to me and Bo. As soon as you get back, you can un-pause. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself. I enjoy everything about you, well, most everything.” I winked at his thoughtful expression.  “I have no regrets.”

He leaned over and kissed my cheek.
“You’re pretty amazing, you know that?” I wasn’t, but the fact that he saw me like no one else has, made him worth more than any treasure I had at home.

I popped the last bit o
f food in my mouth and hopped off the stool taking my plate to the sink. I lost myself in cleaning the kitchen, something that happens often.  I clean to forget the past, the present, and I mostly clean so I don’t dwell on the uncontrollable future. I felt his piercing eyes on me. I was beginning to like it, a lot. I gave him a show pretending the kitchen was my stage; I twirled a perfect pirouette then finished with my arms over my head and my fingers in an elegant pose. I shot him a half smile and reached over to take his plate. He winked at me, and I got shivers everywhere. Moisture instantly pooled between my legs. I turned quickly and focused my efforts on cleaning the dishes.