My Heart Can't Tell You No (68 page)

“I’ll see you up at Mom’s.” He got out of the car and closed her door, going back to Sarah’s car where he could see shadows of four children wrestling in the back seat. His mind went immediately to Lew, making him smile when he remembered how the man always handled his carload of children with a swat or two of his hat and a loud bellow. He opened his door and sat behind the steering wheel. “Robby, up front with us. The rest of you sit down or there will be three kids walking home tonight.”

“Boy—you get testy when you’re excited.” Tom looked over at him, bringing a lot of snickering from the two oldest children in the back seat.

“Oh, hell yes.” Jack’s deep voice boomed as Joe entered the Baker porch, then went inside where he found Lew sitting at the table with the man.

“Ya think they’ll make it to the Super Bowl?” Lew asked with a raised brow.

“Sure I do. They’ll win too. Just wait and see.” Jack was smiling at Lew as he sat with his elbows leaning against the table, and, as always, a cigarette in his hands.

“Nah. I’ll take your word for it,” Lew answered. “You’re usually right. Hey, you doing anything this coming Friday?”

“Probably not. Why?”

“My shoe will be in. I need a ride up to get it.”

“Your shoe?”

“For my foot. There will be half a foot already in it. Don’t ask me whose—but it’ll be in there,” Lew chuckled, bringing another smile to Jack.

“Is there only one?”

“No,” Lew laughed. “It’s a matched set. You heard of an artificial leg. Well, this will have a foot.”

“Yeah, I’ll take ya up. I didn’t know it was healed well enough to be wearing such a thing yet.”

“Oh yeah. I didn’t have any trouble with it healing. Once in a while though, it’ll get colder than a son-of-a-bitch.”

“Ghost pains?” Jack flicked some ash into the ashtray.

“Ghost chills is more like it.”

“What time do ya want me to pick you up?”

“Appointment’s at three-fifteen. So whenever you want to before that. Just so we have enough time to get there,” he told Jack, then looked at the boy who ran across the kitchen. “Hey, mutchkin. Come here a minute.”

Robby stopped immediately, looking back at Lew with a smile, then walking back to him and leaning on his healthy leg.

“What do ya want, big mutchkin?” Robby looked up at the man cockily with a smile that charmed him into laughter.

“How about a birthday gift?”

“Is it your birthday too?” Robby stood erect, panic striking him as he looked for something to give his great-uncle.

“No,” Lew laughed. “I
meant
I was going to give
you
a birthday gift.”

“
Oh
.” Robby was all smiles again. “What is it?”

Lew reached into the coat lying across his lap and pulled out a small stuffed animal, no larger than a foot tall and resembling a beagle as far as Joe could tell.

“A puppy! Thanks!” Robby pulled it close to him, hugging it as he looked up at the man sitting before him.

“I think, as far as he’s concerned, it’s made of gold,” Joe smiled as he watched Robby run into the living room to show off his new Beagle.

Lew glanced at the clock. “Well, Gert, you about ready? Can’t leave those animals alone at the house too long or they’re liable to tear the damn walls down.”

“Whenever you are.” Janet entered the kitchen; she had been sitting in the living room talking with Sarah.

“You ready, Joe?” Lew asked.

Joe glanced toward the door. Actually, no, he wasn’t. He was hoping he would run into Maddie before he had to leave. But he no sooner opened his mouth to speak, than the door opened and she came in, looking red from the cold outside.

“Lew! You aren’t going already?” She closed the door.

“We better.” Joe watched as Lew answered her, looking with an intensity she didn’t notice. “You be good, brat.”

His comment brought a smile to Maddie as she looked back at him, then placed her hand on her swollen abdomen. “It’s a little late for that, don’t ya think?”

As Lew’s hand came out and touched Maddie’s stomach, both Joe’s and her gazes flew up to his face. Lew wasn’t a
toucher
—unless it was to stick his finger in someone’s ear, or reach out and pretend to play with someone’s knee, only touching in a heckling way, usually bringing a hot, teasing comment from the person and sending him on a roll of laughter. Now, his eyes stayed on his hand before taking it away and looking up at her with his familiar smile.

“I’d say that was pretty good. Wouldn’t you, Jack?”

“I’d say so,” Jack agreed.

“Lew. Why are you going home already?” Sarah limped slightly as she entered the kitchen, but she smiled when she saw her brother’s concern. “Arthritis.”

“Sure you don’t want to borrow these?” He gestured toward the crutches that were holding him up.

“Then what would you use?” She smiled gently.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be back on the cane by Christmas. You ready, Gert?” He allowed Janet to move out ahead of him, then turned to look back at Jack. “You take care of her now.”

“Always.” Jack watched him go.

“Now watch those steps on your way down.” Sarah followed them toward the door. “Joey, make sure you help him down these and up the steps at his house.”

“Sarah, you’ll have to stop your worrying one of these days. You take the role of my surrogate mother too seriously,” Lew told her.

“Well—I can’t help it.”

“I’ll see ya next week. Friday.” Lew started out the door.

“All right. See ya then,” Sarah called after him. “And be careful!!”

Joe moved ahead of the man, holding the porch door for him and ready to help him down the steps. When Lew stopped at the top of the steps and looked over his shoulder, there was little doubt in Joe’s mind who he was looking at, as Sarah watched him just as carefully. Then taking a deep breath, he turned and, with Joe’s guidance, made it down to Sarah’s car.

Lew talked incessantly on the way home, totally back to his usual comical chatter, but, as Joe pulled in front of his house, he fell silent again.

“I’ll go get one of the boys,” said Janet as she left the back seat after Joe got out.

“Never mind. Joe can help me up the steps,” Lew said, opening the door and turning in the seat. He waited until Joe was standing next to him before he tried to stand.

“Ya up?” Joe held his arm as the man pushed himself to stand on his good foot.

Lew glanced up at Joe’s face, smiling sheepishly. “So—ain’t you two married yet?”

“Nope.” Joe felt uneasy, he sensed the difference.

“You’re gonna marry her, so why keep putting it off?” They started walking the few yards to the bottom of the steps; a whole flight of stairs to get to the living quarters.

“You’re so sure,” Joe commented.

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.” He walked backwards, facing Lew as they mounted the stairs.

“Damn. It’s a bitch out tonight, ain’t it?” Lew commented on the wind. “That baby isn’t going to wait for you two to make up your minds to live together as man and wife.”

“No, I don’t suppose it will.”

“You love her, and your boys, and this baby. Any fool could see it.”

“Yes. I love them.”

“Then stop acting like a kid with a proud streak running down your back. Marry her—and enjoy each other. Don’t waste any more time. The secret’s finally out. Go on from there.” Lew told him as they came to the last, steeper steps before reaching the wooden platform that was his porch. “You take care of that little girl. I love her as much as if she were my own.”

“You got something on your mind Lew—besides my marital status. What is it?”

“Me?” Lew glanced up at him with a laugh. “Nothing. Just tired of waiting for that wedding. Can’t say I’d blame ya if you’re church-shy, but there’s a courthouse just over town that could marry you. Can’t get much simpler than that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Joe decided the man must have been waiting all night for the moment to give him this pep talk. Joe breathed easily again, that was all, he had only been anxious to talk privately to him. After all, he’d been asking when they were going to get married ever since his return to town this summer, and knowing Lew, he’d been waiting for them to marry ever since that summer he had found them together on the dike.

“You do that.” He waited for Joe to open the door for him, then went inside. “Gert, get him a cup of coffee.”

“No thanks. I think I’ll go home now. I wanted to talk to Maddie anyway.”

“Ya did?” Lew started laughing. “You mean I worked up my courage for this little talk all night, and you were going to make up with her anyway? Damn, I could have saved my breath—and my nerves.”

“Since when do you get nervous about talking to me and telling me exactly what you think?” Joe smiled at him.

“You’re right,” Lew smiled back. “I don’t. But it sounded good anyway, didn’t it?”

“I’ll see you next week.” Joe pulled the door closed.

“Watch the roads. Might be icy.”

Joe went immediately back to the Bakers, but as he rounded up the kids, Sarah told him Maddie had left. She had gone home to bed and asked not to be disturbed. The wording irritated Joe. She had known he wanted to talk to her, yet she had made a point of telling him in so many words not to bother. Fine, he thought as he made his way home with one sleeping son still hugging a stuffed Beagle, two sons yawning simultaneously and one daughter who was gazing sleepily out of the car window. He’d see Maddie one of these days—and if he didn’t—fine again.

CHAPTER XXXVII
 

“W
atch the door!” Sarah yelled as Maddie tried to come in and the wind ripped it out of her hand, nearly banging it off its hinges.

“I got it. I got it,” Maddie breathed as she pulled it closed after Jackie ran in and stood on the porch shivering.

“You come home with your mom?” Sarah was wiping her hands on a dish towel as she looked down at Jackie.

“No. I just got off the bus when she drove up.” He carried his backpack with him, loaded down with papers.

“Whatcha got? Whatcha got?” Robby rushed from the kitchen and grabbed the backpack, nearly knocking his brother on the floor.

“Wait a minute,” Jackie laughed, then went inside to show the many treasures of artwork he had accumulated throughout December.

“Gram says you don’t have to go back to school again! You can stay home with me!” Robby anxiously watched Jackie unloading watercolors of Christmas trees and Santa Claus.

“Just until after New Year’s. Then I have to go back.” He picked out a candy cane and handed it to Robby. “Here—ya want this?”

“
Yeah
!”

“God—it’s cold out there.” Maddie followed her mother in the house, closing the kitchen door behind them.

“On the porch? It shouldn’t be. Jack worked all morning to put in a heat vent.”

“No, not the porch. It’s nice on the porch. I was talking about outside. It’s ten degrees at the bank.”

“I don’t doubt it. I thought it was bad the night of my birthday dinner. What was it? Fifteen? These past three days it’s just been getting colder and colder.”

“I know,” Maddie smiled as she looked down at her two boys. “I had company in bed when I woke up this morning.”

“Who? J— . . .” Sarah looked confused. “Oh. You mean the boys. Both of them?”

“Yep. Both of them curled up against me. I didn’t mind—they were keeping
me
warm.”

“Mommy, can we stay up with Gram tonight and watch Christmas cartoons?”

“I don’t know. Gram might want to watch something else.”

“Not really. There looks like there’s gonna be a good Christmas movie on tonight. One I never seen before. But there’s a cartoon on before it. Why don’t you stay up and watch it with me? You don’t have to go in to the store tomorrow, do you?”

“I should. It’s extra busy this week. Everyone waiting until the last minute to buy Christmas gifts.” She was about to sit down, but the telephone rang, and she went to the middle room to answer it for her mother. “But I guess we can stay up and watch TV with you.”

“Well, if I’m planning on watching that movie—I better go in for a nap a while.” She put the dishtowel on the rack then started for her bedroom. “Can you watch supper for me?”

Maddie nodded her head, then lifted the receiver. “
Hello
?”

“I saw your car parked up at Mom’s. I was hoping I wouldn’t miss you.” Joe’s voice came over the line.

“Oh. It’s you.” Maddie turned to glance back out at the boys. “You weren’t planning on taking the boys tonight, were you? We wanted to spend the evening with Mom.”

“No. I wasn’t
planning
on it. That isn’t why I called.”

“Oh? Then what’s the problem?” She didn’t want to talk to him. He had a perfect way of scrambling her brain. She couldn’t believe what she had seen at that departmental party—but she had seen it—and even though the building was smoke-filled and he had his back to her, she couldn’t deny she had seen him kissing that woman.

“The problem is—I told you Saturday night I wanted to talk to you. It’s Tuesday—and you’ve done a fine job of avoiding me,” Joe said stiffly.

“I’ve been home—most of the time.”

“Yeah—when I’m either in bed—or at work! Sunday you left home all day. And last night, you went back in to the store.”

“It’s busy this week. Christmas is only five days away.”

“Then what are you doing home now?”

“I had a doctor’s appointment today. But if you’d prefer, I’m sure they could use an extra set of hands in there this evening,” she answered smartly.

“What I’d
prefer
is if you’d come down here, or meet me at your place so I can talk to you.” She could hear him getting angry.

“We’re talking right now.”

“Dammit, Maddie!”

“Listen, Joe! I’d think you’d get the hint by now. I don’t
want
to talk to you. I had more than a face full at that damn party. I’m not rehashing it these days.”

“What the
hell
are you talking about?”

“If that’s all you wanted, Mom’s supper is burning and I’m supposed to be watching it for her. May I go now?”

“
Go
!” he ordered in frustration, then hung up.

“Who was that?” Robby walked toward her with his stuffed Beagle in his arms and a sticky candy cane in his mouth.

“No one important,” she mumbled as she hung up the telephone and started back to the kitchen where Jackie was emptying the last things from his backpack. “Come on, let’s go see what Jackie did in school.”

As Maddie sat at the kitchen table with her children her mind flowed back to the pain she had faced at the party. How odd it seemed that four years ago, when she had seen her husband doing a lot more than
kissing
a woman, it had mattered so little. But when she saw Joe kissing another woman, the pain that ripped through her—physical pain—was unbearable. Again and again, she’d try to push the memory out of her mind—but it was always lingering there, ready to jump into the foreground when she least expected it. She was so involved in her thoughts, that when the telephone began ringing again, she jumped with surprise. She rose quickly, wanting to answer it before the ringing woke her mother.

“Hello.”

“Hi. Maddie?” Lew asked.

“Lew? Hi.”

“What were you doing?”

“Watching Robby go through Jackie’s school papers,” she smiled. “Since tomorrow starts Christmas vacation he brought all his Christmas pictures home. They’re pretty good if I do say so myself.”

“You wouldn’t be a little partial now, would ya?”

“Just a little,” she smiled again.

“Is your mom around the telephone?”

“No. She’s in taking a nap right now.”

“She isn’t sick again, is she?” he asked with concern.

“No. I don’t think so. She said she wants to watch a movie tonight, so she’s going to take a nap now.”

“How’s she been lately, Maddie?”

“You just saw for yourself Saturday. She’s pretty much the same.”

“Well, that’s good. You take care of your mom, Maddie. Do things for her—don’t let her overdo it.”

“I try not to.”

“But—yeah, I guess you do,” he sighed. “Just watch out for her okay?”

“I will,” she said, but then wondered what was wrong that he suddenly had decided to have a serious conversation—that wasn’t like him. “She’ll probably be getting up soon though. She laid down about half an hour ago.”

“No, you just let her get her rest. Don’t go getting her up just to talk to me,” he ordered.

“Okay,” Maddie said quietly.

“I mean it, Maddie. Don’t get her up just to talk to me.”

“I won’t. Was there something specific you wanted to talk to her about?”

“No. I was just calling to talk. So, don’t wake her up.”

“I won’t.”

“You let her rest.”

“All right.” Maddie glanced up to see her father enter the kitchen and push his cold hand down Jackie’s back, bringing a squeal from Jackie as the boy squirmed away.

“All right then, I’ll let you go. Goodbye, Maddie.”

“Bye, Lew. I mean—I’ll see ya.”

“Who was that?” Jack sat at the table and lit a cigarette.

“Lew,” she laughed nervously. “He kept telling me not to wake Mom just to talk to him.”

“
Hmm
.” Jack looked back at the children at the table with him. “Then we’ll wait until she gets up and tell her he called.”

She watched as he reached out and tweaked Robby’s nose, bringing a smile to her lips as the boy smiled from ear to ear at his grandfather. She looked at the clock, it was three-thirty. Odd that Lew had called just now. Just as odd that her mother was taking a nap. The soap opera they both watched daily was only half over. She went out to the kitchen again to sit with her father and sons, listening as Jack teased them about staying up Christmas Eve and capturing Rudolf; he had used the same threat on her as a child. Then he would make sure Sarah always had enough money to make the Christmas a nice one for the children.

Sarah was just waking up as Maddie took the meal from the oven, stopping near her as she looked at the food, then going to the medicine cabinet Jack had built for her and removing her canister of insulin needles.

“Can I give you a shot, Gram?” Robby raced from the living room, but, as Jackie turned from the sink, where he was getting a drink of water, and saw his grandmother filling a syringe, he made a gagging sound and quickly fled to the living room.

“Not quite.” Sarah glanced at her youngest grandson. “But you can have the syringe after Pap cleans it and removes the needle. How’s that sound?”

“Okay. Can I watch?” He moved to stand next to her.

“Hey, what’s up?” John came through the door, glancing down to see what his mother was doing, then making a sound similar to Jackie’s as he turned on his heel and went back out.

“Get back here,” Sarah laughed. “I’m all done now.”

“You sure?” John called through the door.

“Positive.” Sarah began putting her equipment away.

“God, that makes me gag.” John walked back in the door. “Now you know why I work on engines—not people.”

“We know,” Maddie smiled at him. “We heard you.”

“
Ah
! Just the person I was looking for.” John looked over at her before spotting the roast beef. “Ya know—they ought to make a law against hot roast beef sandwiches.”

“Why? You like them,” Sarah remarked.

“That’s just it. I like them so much I always make a hog of myself over them.”

“That’s what you wanted to see me about? To let me know you pig out on hot roast beef sandwiches?” Maddie asked.

“No—no. One of your friends is getting married next week.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s that?”

“Your punching bag from last week.”

“Married?” Maddie’s mind raced—did Joe tell her anything about what he wanted to talk to her about? “To who?”

“Her fiancé—who else?”

“Well,
who’s
her fiancé?” She glared at her oldest brother.

“You don’t know him. You probably seen him at the party, but you didn’t talk to him or anything.”

“He was there?!”

“Of course he was there. He was playing pool with Joe for a while.” John looked up at her. “Just what the hell did you hit her for anyway? Did she say something to you or what? I know she’s a bit grungy, but I didn’t figure she’d say anything out of line to you.”

“She didn’t
have
to say anything.” Maddie looked away. “She
did
enough.”

“So, what’d she do?”

“You should know. You were still on the dance floor with Beth when it happened. As a matter of fact, you were even closer to them than I was, so you must have had a better view.”

“Of her? I’ll say I saw her in the pool room with her boyfriend and Joe for a while. Then Joe left, and she was getting a little carried away with her guy in there. But that shouldn’t have anything to do with you.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t . . .” She looked at her brother, the first part of his comment finally hitting her. “What do you mean she was getting—with her boyfriend? That—that
wasn’t
her boyfriend.”

John looked at her a long moment then a slow smile came to him. “
Ahh
, now I get it. Tell me something Maddie. If that was who you
thought
it was kissing her—then how’d he get all the way to the other side of the building in time to stop you from taking that drink when Spencer offered it to ya?”

“You saw that?”

“Of course I saw it. You looked sick—now I know why. I was watching you to make sure you were okay. But getting back to my question—how’d he get all the way to the other side of the building and come up behind ya like that, when she was still back there makin’ out with the guy?”

“I—I—don’t know.” She was confused. She had seen it with her own eyes. But John was right—there wouldn’t have been enough time for him to be in both places at once. “But I saw him.”