My Heroes Have Always Been Hitmen (Humorous Romantic Shorts) (Greatest Hits Mysteries) (13 page)

The
magnate ran a hand through his stiff, unruly hair, accomplishing nothing. He looked at me again and sighed. "I've got a Viking problem."

"
Vikings?" I asked with what I hoped was casual interest. Even though I was starting to get used to the crazy eyes and protruding teeth, it was still unnerving.

"
Sigurd the Mighty. Earl of the Orkneys. He's comin' here with forty men." All of a sudden I picked up on the fact that Maelbrigte was weary. He was worried about the battle. Taran had said he was a good man. Maybe he was concerned for his village as well.

"
Is there anything I can do to help?" I offered. It was a risky gambit. After all, why would a minor merchant passing through want to help?

The brown eye swiveled in
its socket and fixed on me. Obviously, I had his attention.

"
Why?" Maelbrigte asked.

"
Because I hate Vikings," I answered. "And I'm good with my sword." I let that information lie there for a moment.

He nodded.
"That would be kind of yer. I'm short a few men. Most of 'em heard about the Vikings and lit out."

"
Give me the details, and I'll be there," I said.

Maelbrigte told me about the forty
-on-forty-man agreement. Sigurd had encroached one too many times into Moray. The two men had worked up a deal that each should bring forty men and the results of the battle would decide the terms.

"
And just where will that battle take place?" I asked.

The
magnate drained the second tankard and rose to leave. I tossed a few coins on the table and followed him out the door. We walked in silence over the frozen mud until we came to a small clearing.

"
Here." Maelbrigte pointed at the field. "We wait for 'em here. Day after tomorrow." He ran his hand through his hair again. The man looked miserable. Clearly he had no confidence in the idea of winning the battle.

"
Is it just to be man-on-man or will there be cavalry?" I asked.

"
We're to fight on foot," he said. "That was the deal. But they'll arrive on horseback."

I looked at him for a moment.
"Something is bothering you."

Maelbrigte looked off into the distance
—which was something of a relief because I was exhausted trying to figure out which eye to talk to.

"
I don't trust 'im," he said simply.

I nodded. You just couldn
't trust Vikings. Sigurd might honor the agreement. But he might not. I tried to remember if I'd ever heard of Vikings doing the honorable thing, but I was useless at history. I'd have to ask Iona later.

"
For what it's worth," I said, "I'll help do what I can."

Maelbrigte agreed to meet m
e in the morning to discuss the battle in detail. I studied the field a while longer after he left me. Then I returned to the inn.

Iona
was waiting for me in our room. She told me pretty much the same story, and she had a loaf of bread and a bag of cheese. We sat in front of the fireplace and ate while I told her about my visit with the magnate.

"
How big is the clearing?" she asked.

"
Not big. And it's surrounded by trees and marsh in every direction except from the road leading to the village."

Iona
wrapped the remaining bread and cheese in the bag. "You think they're going to cheat, don't you?"

"
I don't know what to expect. What do you know about Vikings?" I asked. My sister knew her history and, according to her, everything else.

"
They show loyalty to their leader, so it's up to what kind of character he is. Sigurd's a younger brother, so he'll be trying to prove himself. The problem is, the Vikings aren't really vested in this land. They don't think of it as home." She threw her hands up in the air. "It's a crapshoot really."

I nodded.
"I'm going to work with Maelbrigte tomorrow. Maybe we can come up with something."

"
Can I come along? I won't speak. Please?" Iona looked at me pleadingly.

"
Fine." I felt bad for her having to bind her hair and breasts all the time for this ruse. She had to be bored out of her mind. "But let me do all the talking. It would be weird if my servant started spouting history or politics."

She nodded and made an
"X" sign over her heart. Yeesh.

The next morning, Maelbrigte joined us for breaking the fast. I introduced
Iona as Oxnar, and immediately realized I'd made a huge mistake. I hadn't prepared my sister for Maelbrigte's um, unusual appearance.

The
magnate, fortunately, ignored my servant. Iona, however, did not ignore him. I'm not sure I've ever seen a fourteen year old girl stare at a man like that before. Her eyes moved back and forth between each eye and the teeth. She couldn't seem to decide which feature was more worthy of her attention. In moments, she drew in closer, her face just inches from his profile, staring as if he was, well, a man with freakish features.

"
Go check on the horses," I said gruffly, trying to distract her. Iona snapped out of it and looked at me. Her mouth opened with the protest she was just about to utter, when she realized what she had been doing. She nodded and fled the tavern.

"
Forgive Oxnar…" I apologized. "He doesn't get out much. Never leaves the shop back home." I twirled my finger around at the side of my forehead. "Idiot," I explained.

Maelbrigte stiffened,
and then relaxed a little. He probably never got used to the attention. "I didn't even notice he was here."

"
Tell me what you have in mind for tomorrow," I said.

"
I have forty men now, with you." The magnate pointed at me, his brown eye aimed at his finger. "We wait at the field. They will come. We will fight."

I tried not to sigh. I truly did. Yet another example of how chess would help people like Maelbrigte plan his battles. Granted, this was a small battle. More like a melee actually. But planning was still important. I stood up.

"Follow me," I said as I headed outside. Along the wall to the left of the door was a long bench. I motioned for Maelbrigte to sit, and I picked up a stick and began to draw.

"
This is the field." I drew a rough oval. "These are the trees, and this is the road to town." I added trees that looked like X's and a line for the road. I wasn't much of an artist. That was more Iona's area. But she was hopefully off with the horses and not staring at the magnate from a distance somewhere. I really had to talk to her about that.

"
I suggest we be ready here." I drew a line at the far end of the field, opposite where the road came in. "That way, we can watch them arrive and arrange themselves."

Maelbrigte nodded.
"They'll have horses."

"
Yes, but they'll use them for travel only. The field is too small for a cavalry charge, and Vikings aren't keen on fighting from the back of a horse."

We talked for a few hours
, discussing his men and their strengths and weaknesses. It was cold outside and overcast, but I didn't feel it. The thrill of strategy took over. Iona joined us at one point and squirmed, trying not to stare at Maelbrigte. Eventually, she began to follow the drawing in the dirt. If she knew better about something, she didn't show it.

"
This is good," the magnate said slowly. "I think we have a chance."

I smiled because I got to introduce him to planning. Now if I
'd only had my chess board…

"
Maelbrigte!" A young boy came running up to us. "There's a problem with the pigs!"

The
magnate thanked us and followed the boy away.

"
You spent all this time doing that?" Iona pointed to the drawing. "I could've told you that."

"
You spent all that time with the horses? Maybe you should take a bath," I grumbled.

"
Why didn't you warn me?" Iona asked. "I had no idea he looked like that."

"
I do apologize for that. I should've prepared you."

"
It was a total shock!" My sister folded her arms over her chest. "I wanted to run and get a pair of pliers to straighten his teeth at least!"

"
How would you have handled the brown eye?" I asked.

Iona
frowned. "An eye patch, I think. Why?"

I just shook my head. I was hoping she had a real answer because it was very distracting. Then again, maybe that was the point. Maybe he liked it that way.

I changed the subject. "Tomorrow's the battle. Do you remember what I wanted you to do?"

She nodded.
"You want me to watch from higher ground. If Sigurd runs off, I go after him." The way her eyes gleamed, I was afraid she was hoping she'd get the chance to take him out herself. That wasn't going to happen though. I'd kill him on the battlefield first.

That night I had trouble sleeping.
Iona snored softly, but I was worried. Of course I couldn't tell her that. She'd mock me, or come up with a better way to handle things. I'd have to move out of the castle back home and find somewhere else to live. Women really were impossible.

The problem was that I was getting attached. To Maelbrigte. Buck-toothed, roaming eyed, wild haired, one-eyebrowed Ma
elbrigte. I could see how Taran and the other villagers liked him. He was a man who worried about his people. But then, why did he enter into such an asinine agreement with the Vikings? Maybe he wasn't all he was cracked up to be.

At dawn,
Iona and I ate breakfast. Taran appeared at my elbow.

"
I'm gonna fight with yer," he said, a stubborn look in his eye.

"
No. You're not," I responded as harshly as I could. Even though boys his age had a history of participating in battle, I didn't want to risk anything happening to the boy.

Taran frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Yes I am! I kin fight! Yer need me!"

I shook my head.
"Your da needs you. More than the magnate does. You stay here."

"
You can come and watch," Iona said.

I glared at her. She had no idea what she was doing. Boys are stubborn and will lie to you. Taran would no sooner arrive at the field than he
'd pick up a fallen man's axe and plunge into the fray.

"
I don't think that's a good…" I started.

Iona
turned to Taran. "I'll be there. You can stand with me." Taran considered this before nodding and running off.

"
What are you doing? He shouldn't be there!" I protested.

My sister shook her head.
"He's going anyway. You can't stop him. This way at least I can keep an eye on him. You'll be on the field. You can't."

I couldn
't argue with her logic. Okay…she was right. There I said it. Demanding the boy stay away would only make him more determined to go.

"
Fine," I said at last. "But you'll have to watch him and make sure he doesn't fight."

Iona
nodded and went back to her food, smug in the knowledge that once again, she was right.

I paid for our meals and collected my weapons
before heading out to the field. No one really knew what time the Vikings were coming. They'd sort of forgotten to set up that part of the deal. How hard would it have been to say,
Hey Sigurd, let's meet at dawn?
Instead we had to wait.

Maelbrigte came first with about twenty other men. The others staggered in, either hung over or maybe they just walked that way. By noon, we had our full complement of men.

A stark, dull sun hung limply in an iron-grey sky. The air was flat and brisk, but at least the mud had hardened overnight. No one spoke much. I surveyed our troops.

The majority were farmers, each holding a favored implement. They were big men, which was good, and Maelbrigte had assured me they were seasoned fighters. I hoped so, for his sake and theirs. Whatever their vocation, it was clear they had no problems fighting. The Vikings were no
t popular here.

I gripped my axe in my left hand and my short sword in my right. I was anxious to get started. To get it over. To make sure Sigurd the Mighty was dead so I could go back home.

A noise came from the road, and the magnate's troops turned their heads at the same time. One rider on a small horse trotted toward us. He came to the middle of the field and stopped.

"
Maelbrigte!" the man shouted as he got down off his horse. "I am here!"