My Heroes Have Always Been Hitmen (Humorous Romantic Shorts) (Greatest Hits Mysteries) (3 page)

"
Excuse me?" Her words and her presence had caught me off guard.

Penny shook her head
. "You need to be careful when asking questions in this town…Mr.…"

"
Bombay," Jeb said smoothly as he pulled up a chair next to me. "His name is Rio Bombay."

Penny smiled
. "Nice to meet you Mr. Bombay. And you are…?"

"
Smith. Jebediah Smith, at your service, ma'am." Jeb nodded.

"
How did you know I was asking questions?" I interrupted.

"
My little brother told me. Apparently, he's quite taken with you. Calls you the Mysterious Man," Penny said as she filled Jeb's glass. "He likes your horse too. What's his name?"

Jeb winked at me
, and I hurried to cut this conversation off. I was thrilled that Penny's brother thought I was mysterious, a feeling that would be somewhat tarnished by a horse named Norbert.

"
I was just asking about this place. Seems like a nice town to consider settling down in," I replied.

"
Hmmm…" said Penny." Well don't ask about the marshal. He's a bit touchy about that sort of thing." She looked me right in the eyes, and I saw that she knew about the fight in the alleyway.

Miss Philpot took our orders and left for the kitchen.

"What exactly did you do this morning?" Jeb asked.

"
Nothing," I tried to be casual, but it wasn't easy. I sipped from my water glass to stall.

Jeb looked at my hand, then at me
. "Been in a fight, have you?"

I put the glass down and looked at my knuckles. Damn. I should
've worn my black gloves.

"
It was nothing." I examined my hands. "A couple of drunks tried to rob me in an alley."

Jeb sat back and looked at me for a long moment. He was a fairly handsome man
. I wondered if I had a rival for Miss Philpot. I brushed that thought aside. I wasn't here to court Penny, and Jeb wasn't that kind of man.

Our lunch arrived
, and we ate in silence. This gave me time to think. Word spread a bit too fast in this town. Fast enough for the marshal to send some goons after me, and fast enough for my waitress to comment on it. Gossip wasn't necessarily a hindrance. In this case I was sure I could make it work for me.

"
How did the job interview go?" I asked Jeb once the dishes were cleared and coffee was poured.

Jeb pushed his chair back and regarded me thoughtfully
. "I don't really know. I thought it would be one thing, but it turns out to be another entirely. The rancher runs a tight ship, I'll give him that. But I just don't think I'm cut out to be his foreman. I'm not sure I could treat the men who worked for me like that."

"
Like what?" I asked.

"
Well, he's pretty strict with them and doesn't trust them at all. I'm used to the trust and respect we had in the army in the war. I don't think I could oversee men like this guy wants me to."

I nodded.
"Things are different here, that's for sure."

At that moment, Marshal Figgins walked in and seated himself at his table. Jeb followed my line of vision
, and together we watched as Penny Philpot emerged from the kitchen, took his order, and left his table.

"
I've heard a thing or two about that marshal," Jeb said softly. "He avoided the draft and rode with Quantrill's Raiders. Even those bastards kicked him out because he was too cruel."

I whistled quietly through my teeth. Quantrill
's Raiders were bad news. If they'd kicked Figgins out, he was even worse than I thought. And I didn't think that was possible.

Jeb leaned in toward me
. "So what are you really doing here Rio?"

I couldn
't tell him, even if I wanted to…which I did. Bombay code forbids it. And that was too bad because Jeb would've been useful in this situation.

"
I'm just trying to fulfill a little fantasy, Jeb. That's all. And it seems I've stirred up the marshal's interest."

Jeb nodded
. "And the marshal sent a welcoming party." If Jeb knew the truth, he didn't let on. "Maybe this isn't the kind of town I'd like to live in."

"
And that's too bad," I replied, watching Penny bring the marshal his lunch. "I kind of liked the scenery."

Jeb insisted on spending the afternoon with me. He seemed protectiv
e, and I understood that. An idea was slowly forming in my head, and I thought I could involve Jeb without actually involving him.

We went back to the saloon and found a tab
le in a corner. That was perfect because it seemed appropriate to me that the mysterious stranger (aka me) in town would sum up the saloon from his quiet corner. I think Jeb was onto me, but he said nothing. He was going to let me have my fun, and that made me a bit sad.

Bombays were allowed to have friends, as long as they weren
't involved in the family business. As a result, many of us were loners or just stuck to family for our close friends. I had a few of those…a female cousin who lived in Atlanta and another cousin in Florida, but that was about it. Being a Bombay was a lonely business.

Jeb and I talked about the war, reminiscing about the men we
'd known. It was a different time then. I'd always felt like I'd gotten away with something when I'd signed up to fight. Bombays weren't supposed to take sides. We weren't supposed to kill people unless it was for money.

The Bombay Council had urged me to do what others have done in this situation
—pay someone of a lower class to fight in my stead. I couldn't do that. The very idea of sending someone else to die in my spot was repulsive to me. So, I convinced the Council that my fighting could be useful to the Bombays. In fact, I carried out a number of contracts during the war under the cover of being a soldier. It worked out in the end for them, and I'd done my part for my country. Everyone won.

I was thinking about all of this when a knife whizzed past my ear, embedding itself in the wall just inches from my head.

"Over there," Jeb said in a second as he pulled out his gun and rose to his feet.

I joined him with my gun
in my hand (and was a little excited about this) when I noticed a scrawny man standing not a few feet away, actually shaking in his boots—something I always assumed was just a saying.

"
Oh!" he pleaded. "Sorry, mister! That was an accident! I swear!"

Accident my ass, I thought.
"See that it doesn't happen again, or you'll find enough holes in yourself that your mama could use you to strain beans," I snarled as I holstered my gun and sat down. Okay, maybe that wasn't the best turn of phrase, but I think he got the point.

Jeb did the same
. "You know that was no accident."

I nodded.
"No, that was too good a throw." I had to work a little to pull the knife free of the timber. "It was in deep, about two inches. You don't throw that hard unless you mean to kill a man." I liked the way I'd said,
kill a man.
It seemed so authentic.

Jeb rubbed his jaw and said,
"So you have a new enemy in town."

"
Marshal Figgins." I nodded. "Apparently, it doesn't take much to make him nervous."

"
So," Jeb nodded toward the knife in my hands. "What are you going to do about it?" He looked kind of excited. There was an adrenaline rush men who'd seen combat experienced at the first sign of a fight. I could see how Jeb wouldn't enjoy being a foreman on a ranch.

"
I'm going to wait," I responded, "and see what happens next."

It didn
't take long. As we walked out of the saloon, a man rushed me. I stepped to the side and then kicked him off the boardwalk and into the street. My assailant jumped up and ran off.

In front of the bank, another man came out of the alley and tried to grab me from behind. Jeb knocked him unconscious and dragged his body back into the alley. In fact, the two of us found ourselves literally fighting our way back to our hotel. No less than five men tried to accost us
, and all five ended up face down in the street.

"
That was fun!" Jeb said, rubbing his knuckles once we'd made it inside the hotel. Prudence narrowed her eyes at us from behind the counter and called us over.

"
You have a letter," she said curtly, frowning as though she disapproved of me receiving mail. She handed me an unmarked, sealed envelope, then gave us a look that told us to leave the counter.

The restaurant was set for tea, so Jeb and I went in there. It was mostly empty, so we took a table as far from others as we could manage. Penny brought us two tea cups and saucers and a tiered tray with sandwiches and scones. While this did
n't seem very cowboy-like, we were hungry from beating up so many men. Jeb and I devoured the food.

"
Are you going to open that?" Jeb said as he wiped the last of the crumbs from his lap.

I held the envelope up to the light. There wasn
't any paper inside…just some sort of powdery substance.

"
I don't think so," I said as I folded the envelope and tucked it into my jacket. "It's got poisoned powder inside."

Jeb choked on his tea.
"Poison? You really are popular! Just what kind of questions have you been asking?"

I filled him in on my morning
—making it look like I'd just been enquiring around town—which is what I'd hoped it looked like to the townspeople. Unfortunately, some of those folks had been quick to talk, and Marshall Figgins was turning out to be the most paranoid man of all time.

Jeb sat back in his chair.
"Well, it seems like things are escalating rather quickly. By nightfall they'll just be shooting directly at us."

"
Why don't you just leave?" a soft voice said behind me. Miss Penny Philpot stepped into view.

"
Oh!" I said, looking around to see that the restaurant was now empty. "Sorry! I didn't realize how long we'd been here."             

To my complete amazement, she sat down at our table.
"No, that's not what I meant," Penny said. "Why don't you just leave town?"

"
Because I just got here," I answered, settling back into my chair. "And I don't like being attacked for no reason." I left out the part where I thought I wouldn't be a very good cowboy if I cut and run at the slightest bit of trouble. I didn't think she'd appreciate that.

She looked at me curiously
. "You've beat up half the town this afternoon. I wouldn't want to see anyone else get hurt." 

I wondered if that included me.

"Not my fault," I insisted. "Why do you care about the thugs who would attack an innocent stranger?"

Penny sighed
. "They aren't that bad, just stupid. The men who live here are more afraid of Marshal Figgins than they are of you. It's tomorrow you need to worry about."

"
Why's that?" Jeb asked. He seemed a little too interested.

"
Because that's when the marshal's old gang gets here," Penny said simply, adding nothing useful to that information.

"
So why are you here?" I asked. "If Marshal Figgins is such a bully who can call in professional goons to threaten a traveler, why are you still living here?" It was a fair question that also allowed me to find out more about this lovely woman.

Penny looked tired all of the sudden. She looked down at her hands before looking at me.
"I came here to teach, Mr. Bombay. I was a war widow. After my husband and father died, I brought my brother out here to find work as a school teacher."

A school marm! A real-live school marm! This couldn
't get any better!

"
So why aren't you teaching, Miss Philpot?" Jeb asked, and that's when it occurred to me he was right. We'd seen her at breakfast, lunch, tea, and dinner. Clearly she wasn't in a charming, one-room schoolhouse out on the prairie.

"
Because there aren't enough children here," was Penny's reply. "As soon as families move here and realize how dangerous this town is, they leave. There's only my little brother and his cousin. Marshal Figgins forced the town council to quit paying my wages, saying it was a waste of money." She looked angry.

"
Why would he do that?" Jeb asked. "Seems to me you can't have growth in a town if you don't have a school. You need families to live here so you have a solid, second generation of citizens."

Penny looked around before answering. I wondered if she was even allowed to sit with us
. I didn't want her to lose her job over me.

"
Because a school teacher can't be a married woman. There are state regulations about that." There was a fury in her blue eyes that I found almost arousing.