My Once and Future Love (45 page)

“They were lovely, thank you--”

“Not me! I wanted to send you chocolate.
Chocolate always makes girls feel better, right?” Dylan said.

“I guess, I--”

I hadn’t prepared, so the guys surrounded me,
bombarding me with their words. They didn’t mean anything by it, it
was just their way, but my claustrophobia was kicking in. I felt
the tiniest bit panicked until someone grabbed my hand and pulled
me out of the band sandwich.

“Hey, mates, give the lady a little room to
breathe, yeah? She can’t answer you if you’re blabberin’ all at
once.”

“Sorry, Beth.”

Jacob pulled me to him and held my hand, his
other landing on my waist as he came up behind me. My heart pounded
from his nearness. My face was flushed and I’d give anything for an
out. Celeste appeared at my side.

“Hey, you boys mind if we hit the ladies’
room? It was a long show, if ya know what I mean.” I shot her a
look of gratitude. She winked and tugged me out of the room. “We’ll
be back in a few,” she called over her shoulder.

I was never so glad to see a plain cement
hallway in my life. “Thank you for getting me out of there.”

“You looked like you were about to
hyperventilate. It wasn’t really a choice. How come they shook you
up so bad?”

“I’m not good with crowds. I had a mode, you
know? Beth the PA wasn’t ruffled by anything. Beth the Girl panics
around anything male and under forty.”

“You had your armor, I get it. I had to do
that, too, when I first started at the mag.”

“Get out. I’ve never met a woman more
comfortable in her own skin.”

“Here’s the ladies’… No, seriously. I was
new, and young, and nobody believed I was worth getting past the
mailroom. So, I faked knowing everything until I did.” She checked
her make-up in the mirror. “’Course, sleepin’ with the head
copywriter after the Christmas party didn’t hurt, either.”

“You didn’t! You are shameless.”

She shrugged. “It wasn’t a big deal. We both
had too much eggnog and he was so embarrassed he couldn’t remember
my name in the morning, he offered me a transfer to his department.
Became one of my best friends.”

“I never would’ve had the balls to turn
something around like that.” I patted my face with a damp paper
towel. “I haven’t dated since--”

“Why the hell not?”

“Time, motive, opportunity…once Jacob owned
my life twenty-four-seven, it just wasn’t a priority. And…”

“You’re still carrying a torch.”

I shook my head.

“Honey, he’s right there with you. Have you
been blind all night?”

“I don’t…he can’t…it wasn’t…it’s not…we
aren’t like that anymore.”

Celeste arched a perfectly-shaped brow. “I’d
beg to differ, Miss Girl Who Has Three Songs. Ready to go
back?”

“No…no, no, no…I want to go home.”

Someone knocked on the door. “Anyone in
there? We need to clean and lock up.”

“We’re coming out,” she yelled. “Come on,
Beth, I drove, so where you gonna run, hmm?”

“I can get a cab?”

“Ah, no. I didn’t get you all dolled up just
so you can wimp out now.” She took my elbow and steered me back to
the room.

Who knew Celeste had such a strong grip?

****

Jacob knew women could take their good sweet
time in the loo, but part of him couldn’t help wondering if they
left. Maybe arena personnel swept them out. Maybe one of them
received an urgent call. Maybe Beth just didn’t like being around
him anymore.

“Hey, man, we’re ready to head for the limo,”
Bob said. “It’s been a long few months, and I’m looking forward to
sleeping in my own bed tonight.”

The other three nodded in agreement.

He sighed. “Yeah, let’s go. The girls
probably got forced outside, anyway.”

They exchanged a look and picked up their
bags. The PA had Jacob’s bag and guitar case in hand. Jacob pushed
the door open and hit Beth in the face with it.

“Oh, god, love, I’m so sorry,” he said, as
she held her nose. He tried to pry her fingers away to have a
look.

“I’m fine, I’m fine…it just stings.” She
batted his hands away.

“I’m so sorry. Are you sure it’s not
broken?”

She wiggled her nose and sniffed. “Yeah…yeah,
it’s fine. Just…keep your distance.”

“Ah, dude, that was like, classic comedy,”
Aaron said.

Bob smacked him upside the head. “Shut up,
moron. Jake, we’ll see you at the car.” He herded the rest toward
the exit.

Jacob tried inspecting her nose without
touching her. Celeste snickered behind her hand.

“Jacob, quit hovering.”

“Sorry. I just hate that I hurt you.” He
rubbed the back of his neck, nervously shuffling his feet. “Did you
enjoy the concert?”

“Sure. It’s different sitting out there.”

He nodded. “I wish I could try it, you know,
watch from a third person perspective.”

“Those new songs were really pretty.
Intimate, even,” Celeste said. Beth glared at her.

He blushed. “Thank you. I was nervous about
debuting them. Only the band’s heard any of it before, and that was
just to help with the chords. L.A. felt like the right place to
introduce them. Home court, you know?” he said, looking at
Beth.

“Well, the crowd seemed to enjoy them, so I
don’t think you have anything to worry about,” she said.

He stepped forward and ducked his head to try
catching her eyes. “It wasn’t the fans I hoped would like
them.”

“Are they really--?”

“Every word.”

“You…”

“Can we talk somewhere? Please?”

“Celeste drove me,” she said.

“I know where you live, love.”

She blushed. “Right…”

“The limo is outside. Please?”

Celeste nudged her closer to him. “She’ll
go.”

Beth glared at her friend, but didn’t
protest.

“Well, ladies, shall we?”

He led them to the exit.

“I thought the show was great. Really
energetic. So, what’s your favorite building?” the redhead
babbled.

Beth trailed a step behind. The limo idled
outside the gate. He waited while Celeste got his mates to give her
hugs and sign autographs, Beth taking photos.

“What, Bethie, we don’t get a hug for old
time’s sake?” Aaron said.

She went to the group and got a hug.

“Alright, which one of you yahoos copped a
feel?” She pulled a slip of paper from her back pocket.

He stepped up behind her, glaring at his
chums. “I thought I made it clear Beth is off limits.”

Aaron held his hands up. “Hey, easy, man. It
was just harmless fun. Bethie’s one of the family.”

“Don’t touch her without her permission
again, are we clear?” He draped an arm around her shoulders. “Let’s
get in the car, love.”

“I didn’t ask for a rescue.” She stopped at
the door to the limo and shrugged his arm off.

“He shouldn’t have touched you like
that.”

“I don’t
need
protection, Jacob.”

“Fine, sorry for being a gentleman.” Didn’t
she get that he was their leader? He had to set the boundaries, and
it was the first thing he told them after offering her the job—no
touching.

“You can be such a Neanderthal. It was about
territory and we both know it. You’ve always been like that.”

He grabbed her around the waist. “Because
you’re
mine
. Remember, you let
me
go.”

She trembled in his arms. “Then why did you
stop trying?”

“You tore my heart out.”

“What I thought you did shred mine. Guess
we’re even.”

“Bethie…” He lifted his hand to brush her
hair off her face.

“I miss you all the time,” she whispered.

He took her face in his hands and kissed her.
She melted into him. Eight years, and kissing her still affected
him like a drug.

“Come home with me.”

“I…” She shook her head.

“To talk,” he added. “Please.”

She nodded and let him draw her into the
limo.

The PA had already taken Jacob’s gear home.
Marty had Bob in the car, the other three living in a different
part of town and going in a separate limo. Jacob sat next to Beth
with his best friend across from them.

“You two going to finally hash things out?”
Bob asked. “About damn time.”

She blushed and looked out the window.

“He’s been writing songs for the past six
months.”

“
Bob
.”

“What, Jake, we’ve all seen she’s important
to you. Someone has to say it. He’s been almost boring.”

A ghost of a smile crossed her face.
“Really?”

“All the partying and shit got old. I
couldn’t do it anymore after…” Jacob shook his head. “Wasn’t fun
anymore.”

“See, Beth? Boring. The boy’s lovesick.”

“Bloody hell, mate!”

“Hey, we’ve been friends a long damn time.
I’d expect you to do the same for me.”

The limo stopped at Bob’s building. He patted
Jacob on the shoulder and left the car.

The rest of the drive was quiet. Jacob’s new
house sat up in the hills in a more private location. It could
still be considered large, but Maria could clean it by herself, a
gardener came once a week, and he drove most days. He’d been there
for months, but it was still sparsely furnished. With the tour
there wasn’t time, yet, and it didn’t feel right to bring in a
decorator.

Marty drove through the open gate. Jacob
opened the door and offered her his hand.

“Goodnight, sir. Miss Beth.”

“G’night, Marty.”

He found his keys and started up the
drive.

“The house is kind of empty still. I haven’t
owned it long.”

“That’s okay.”

He unlocked the door and flipped the light
for the entry. She gasped.

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice. The previous owners
left it in neutral colors when they sold so it’d be easy for the
new person to paint.” He smiled, entering the kitchen and seeing a
sandwich and bag of chips on the counter. Maria had been doting on
him since Beth left.

“How was the concert, Mr. Lindsey? Oh. Miss
Beth.”

“Maria.”

“Same as usual. We played, they screamed, we
went home. You didn’t have to wait up, Maria.” And he hoped she’d
go back to bed.

“I was just watching TV,” she said.

“Of course you were. Goodnight, Maria.”

She smiled. “Goodnight, Mr. Lindsey. Nice to
see you again, Beth.”

“Same here, Maria. We’ll catch up soon.”

She walked back to her room. He picked up his
food and led Beth to the back patio. He loved this view. The full
moon was out, giving an otherworldly cast to the plants and
flowers. It was beautiful, but solemn.

“I’ve been here before,” she said. “I don’t
know how…or when…” She shook her head and turned her attention to
him. “You wanted to talk?”

No time like the present to get it over with.
“I still love you.”

She blinked. “I didn’t know you did the first
time.”

“I didn’t want to say it too soon.”

She looked down at her hands. “I get
that.”

“You said you’ve missed me.”

“Yes.”

He studied her profile. “In what way?”

“Well, I haven’t dated anyone else since you.
There was a night and a guy, but it’s not worth mentioning. Mom’s
death brought me closer to my brother, but I pushed everyone else
away. He has a new baby, you know.”

“Really?”

“A little girl named after my mother. She’s
adorable and sweet and so beautiful. We visited this summer.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It really was.”

They sat gazing out at the garden for a
while. There were so many things to say, if he could ever get them
out. When she finally spoke in the silence, it startled him.

“I want to go slow. I don’t know if I can
handle all the media attention and I think we had problems last
time because we were so…”

“Intense?”

“Desperate for each other. We can’t try to
fix everything with sex.”

“The sex was incredible, though.”

She smiled. “No denying that. How can we be
different this time?”

“You scared me to death when I thought you
weren’t going to wake up. It took nearly losing you for good to
make me realize how I’d been treating you, and then we talked… I
never set out to be a selfish prick. It hasn’t been the same
without you, Beth. I’ve missed your smile, and seeing you every
day. You call me out when I’m being an ass and I need that. This
all means nothing if I can’t share it with the people I care
about.”

“I know. That’s why I’d get so mad, you know,
because I knew you’re capable of better.”

He reached for her hand and kissed her
fingers. “Thank you.”

“I want to trust, you, Jacob, but your track
record the past three years has been spotty at best.”

“What record?”

“Dating more than one girl at the same
time.”

“I have
not
.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Did you forget
Calandra?”

Oh, bloody hell. He forgot all about her not
knowing it was faked. “That relationship wasn’t real, Beth. It was
a publicity stunt. The label made me help her out.”

“But--”

“She was never at the house, never went on
trips with me, I never bought her gifts…think about it, love. Did I
ever talk about her when we were off duty?”

“No…I don’t remember that you did. Okay, so
you weren’t cheating on her. What about all the other girls?”

He sighed. “Beth, I’ve never cheated on a
relationship in my life. Didn’t you notice I always came home, even
if it was really late? The only girl I’ve ever slept next to is
you. It was always you. Yeah, I’ve had a few fun times, but nothing
ever compared. I don’t know what else to say.”

She glanced away. “I’m sorry. I spent a lot
of time mad at you.”

“That’s because you wouldn’t
talk
to
me.”

She sighed. “Touché. When is your next
concert?”

“Friday. I fly out in the morning. Gives us
four days to figure this out. What about you?”