My Soul Laid Bare: Book 4 (The Soul Keeper Series) (11 page)

Inside, a slow song is playing out a gentle melody in the background.
“I was just wondering why you would call me and not Elijah.” His eyes remain focused on the road like it is about to make a sudden move.

I swallow hard and know Elijah just got dealt another blow.
“We're over.” The words slice through my lips as fast as I can get them out, and I hope I never have to utter that phrase again. Sam's ears pull back as if he is struggling to make sure he has heard me correctly.

“
I'm sorry to hear that. I know things between us ended badly, but over the last few months, I learned to accept that you were happy. I only ever wanted you to be happy.”

“
I know Sam. I'm sorry I lied to you about Elijah. I'll never forgive myself for hurting you the way I did.”

The rest of the drive is silent. I wonder if he ever moved on from our break up, but I don't feel right prying into his life, not since I was the one who removed myself from it altogether. He pulls into my driveway, and I get out pausing in the door to thank him. He tips his baseball cap, and I catch a glimpse of the hurt in his eyes. I suck in a breath and shut the door.

I head straight to the shower and let it wash the heartache away. I lean against the cool white tiles and wonder if I will ever be able to fully breathe again. A text is waiting for me when I get out. It's from Malphas again. I take it into the bathroom and read it, hoping Elijah still gives me privacy in here.

“
Win Sam back quickly.” It reads followed by a picture of the back of Lexi's head taken as if he were right behind her. I throw my phone into the mirror, and it shatters the glass. I cringe as the shards fall around the tile and counter. I glare up at the large wedge shaped shard still hanging on the wall. It cuts the image of my face in half, down the middle causing me to look like a deranged psycho for a moment.
If the shoe fits?

I pluck my phone out of the debris and notice the Otter box case has kept it from harm. Lucky me. I can still receive threatening text messages.

I call Sam. “Hey, do you want to get some dinner tonight? I could really use a friend right now.” He says he'll pick me up at six, and I agree. I plop down on my bed and fall asleep fast. All of this heartbreaking is making me so tired and zapping every ounce of strength I have.

I wake up late that afternoon to my stomach growling again. I still haven't eaten since yesterday. I search my pantry and grab a granola bar to tide me over until Sam's arrival. I click on the television hoping to find some kind of distraction from my emotions. The food network reminds me of Elijah as I flip through the channels. The news does the same thing. Finally, I settle on an episode of
Pretty Little Liars
. Maybe I'll learn something that can sharpen my skills up for tonight's lie fest.

Later that evening, I change into a casual sundress and put on a little make up to hide the growing dark circles under my eyes. Sam arrives promptly at six and holds the door to the rental car open as I get in.

“Where do you want to go?” he asks.

“
Somewhere quiet.”

“
I know a place.”

He slides into the driver's seat.
“I'm sorry again for calling you. I'm sure it must be awkward hanging around me again. I hope that your girlfriend won't be upset.” I say with obvious feelers out. I glare at my reflection on the side window and wonder how cruel fate can be.

“
It's okay. Emily meant a lot to both of us, and I know you could use a friend.” He doesn't respond to my girlfriend remark. I touch his hand to get him to look at me. Then I search his mind to find out for myself. What I find takes me by surprise. I am getting a clear image of a young woman's face, her naked body perched over his torso like a monolithic work of art. The way she looks at him is exactly the way I look at Elijah. Sam's in love with someone else. He glances away, and the connection is lost, not that I wanted to see that image go any further. My sweet Sam, that waited so long to be intimate with me, has crossed that bridge with another.

How dare I encroach on his happiness? He deserves to find someone who loves him as much as I love Elijah. Now what? My plan of seducing him flies out the window.
Tick. Tock.
I think I hear Malphas say.

Lexi's swishing ponytail keeps crossing into my mind.
Tick. Tock. Time's a wasting.

“
What if I told you that I never got over you?” I say clenching my jaw as I spit out the lie.

“
I'd say that you looked pretty well over me the last time I saw you wrapped around Elijah's lips.”

Touché. I deserved that and far worse.

“Well you'd be wrong. I never loved him. I have only ever loved you, and you’re the only one I ever will love.”

I can picture Elijah's face turned up in agony at my words.
I'm so sorry my love. So very sorry
. I glance up to the tree tops as they fly by us in a blur. I try and hold back the tears.  A hawk soars high over us and swoops down low blinking its bright yellow eye right at me as it passes us. It's him. I know it is. He's always listening.

“
What are you saying Brennen?”

“
I'm saying… I made a mistake. I don't expect you to take me back right away, but I hope that one day the possibility of it might cross your mind.”

“
I trusted you with my heart Brennen. I don't know if I can ever trust you again.”

“
I'm not asking you to trust me. Trust comes with time. I know I tore it down in one stupid moment. Elijah preyed on our weaknesses. He knew we'd have a hard time with the long distance relationship. I'm just sorry I trusted him. He's caused me nothing but heartache.”

The last words rise up with bile in my throat, and I struggle to tamp it back down.
I hate you Malphas! I hope you rot in hell one of these days!

“
You've always been the angel in my life. I know it will take time, but I want to be your everything again.”

Sam grows quiet for a while as he thinks about my words. Malphas is an idiot if he thinks Elijah is buying one red cent of this. Less than twenty four hours ago, I was cuddled up on Elijah's bare chest, professing my undying love to him. I hope they find him and capture him before too long. It may be too late to save my own ass, but I can't wait to tell Elijah that I didn't mean any of this.

“We're here. I see you still drift off in daydreams, to only God knows where.” His boyish smile softens his features, and his gaze lingers over me.

“
Guilty. Sorry.”

He opens the door for me and takes my hand. His familiar touch elicits memories of our once perfect love. Once I could have been happy, back in the days that Elijah never existed in my mind. I would have been content to hold Sam's hand for a life time and never have a single regret. A small smile pulls the corners of my lips up. It's all I can manage, and I hope it's enough.

Sam leads me inside a tiny restaurant in the shape of a diner car. His hand moves to my back as we reach a booth. He slides in across from me, and the waitress comes over right away to greet us. She's dressed in a pink retro waitress dress, and for a moment, I think we've slipped back in time fifty years. Stainless steel walls with black and white checkered floors add to the overall diner feel.

“
What can I get cha hon?” she asks.

“
I'll have an iced tea,” he says.

“
Same.”

I eye him suspiciously.
“What? I'm trying to cut back on the soda these days.” I wonder if his new girlfriend has anything to do with the new and improved Sam.

She brings our drinks and gives us another minute to look over the menu. Sam's gaze keeps flitting back to my face, and I begin to wonder if I have something on it. I wipe around my chin looking quizzically at him.

“What? Do I have something on my face?”

“
Um, no,” he says before looking back at his menu. I take his non answer as a sign he's on the right track with this plan.

“
What's it gonna be hon,” the waitress asks as soon as she comes back.

He looks a bit flustered by something, my question perhaps.
“I'll have a cheeseburger and fries,” he orders.  

“
And for you sweetie?”

“
I'll have the same.” She takes our menus up and shoves them in the holder behind Sam.

“
Look at you ordering red meat,” Sam chides.

“
I ran fifteen miles today. I could use a little protein.”

“
Fifteen miles and you didn't get bacon? Come on now,” he teases drawing a spark of life to my smile.

“
I know right? I don't know what got into me this morning. I was just really upset about…” I trail off thinking about what Emily endured just for knowing me. A tear manages to escape and rolls down my cheek as hot as lava. “And I didn't sleep at all last night.”

“
You used to sleep so good when you were in my arms.” He bites down on his lip as soon as the words leave his mouth regretting his choice no doubt.

I have to keep him on this path, let him know there’s a possibility for us once again. Lexi’s life depends on it. Maybe I can pretend I'm wooing Elijah instead. God, I only hope I never say his name on accident. This has to be killing him right now. I fight back another round of tears and draw strength from the fact that he promised me a thousand times his love was unconditional.

I meet Sam’s gaze across the table. “I wish I could sleep in your arms again every night until forever.”

Sam's honey brown eyes stir with hope. He searches my face for any sign that my words are genuine. A loud clamor erupts behind us. The shattering of a half a ton of ceramic has every head in the tiny café turning in the direction of the sound. The waitress emerges from the back and finds that an entire tray of stacked coffee mugs has been over turned. She looks as if she's confused by this yet shakes her head as she bends down to clean up the wreckage. But I know it was Elijah. I can feel the surge of anger rising like bile deep from within me. It's his anger I feel.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
  I cry out in my head.

“
Someone's getting a short check,” Sam says under his breath.

“
I hope not. It wasn't her fault.”

The waitress returns a moment later with our food. My appetite is gone now, replaced by heartache. I pick at a few fries.

“I can pick you up tomorrow, for the funeral if you like. We could go together.”

“
That would be great, thanks.”

“
What's wrong? You haven’t touched your burger.”

“
I'm not hungry anymore.”

“
I wish there was something I could do to help you get through this,” he says softly. Just outside the window, the hawk lands on the hood of a truck and perches on the side mirror. It blinks its yellow eyes at me as if daring me to infringe on our deal.

“
You’re here. That's all I need, you by my side.”

At my words, Sam slides out of his side of the booth and moves next to me.
“You keep saying all of these things Brennen, but I don't know if I should believe you or not.” He's conflicted about the girl. I gather Cat is her name from the way he keeps rolling the feline term around in his mind like it were a bag of glitter. He's falling head over heels for this girl and as he runs through the memories of her, I can see how perfect she is for him. She adores him. She mumbled
I love you
after their first time together. A bevy of curse words fly through my mind, and I yell each one to Malphas just in case he's listening.  I'm not only screwing up mine and Elijah's love but Sam's too.

I caress Sam's cheek in my hand and gaze into his eyes.
“I'll never let you go again.” My words drip with truth, and I look right into his eyes when I say it. Doing what I swore I would never do, I use my gift of influence on him. I see the shift in his eyes. He dips his chin down and cups my face in his hands drawing closer to me by the second.

He begins to wonder if he ever really got over me. He begins to wonder if Cat was nothing more than a rebound.

He softly kisses me as if I were made of glass. Sam is so kind. I hate that my feelings aren't completely heartfelt. I know over time I will grow to love him again the way that I used to. Elijah is just so fresh in my heart. He slices through my mind as Sam's lips release mine. A screech just outside the window snaps my head back, and I turn just in time to see the hawk fly off in the distance.

I excuse myself to go to the restroom. I need a breath. As soon as I burst through the stall door, I think I'm going to be sick. My head is swimming, and I knock my shoulder on the side of the stall door. I lean against the surface and try and steady myself.

“I'm so sorry Elijah. Forgive me,” I whisper out loud. I at least owe him an apology. None of this is his fault. What we have is a once in a lifetime love and yet evil keeps forcing us apart. I hate who I am. I hate that everyone I care about is in grave danger just for knowing me. I wish I could just be a normal nineteen year old girl whose biggest worry is grades or what dress to wear. No, on my list of biggest fears there's demon stalkers in the form of yellow eyed birds and accidents that aren't accidents at all; they're crime scenes. Bless me now!