My Sweetest Escape (13 page)

words weren’t complimentary. We had the

entire class period to complete the

assignment, so I got out my notebook and a

pen and tried to figure something that I

could write so I could just complete the

damn thing.

Well, the first thing I could think of to

write about was completely out of the

question. My still-intact virginity was a relic

from my other life. I’d been way too

focused on school and other things, and it

didn’t mesh well with my political

aspirations.

There was also something romantic, I’d

thought at the time, about saving that

milestone in my life for marriage.

My ex had been completely on board

with it; in fact, he’d been more for it than I

was. We’d done things here and there, but

every time it got heated one of us stopped

it, citing our vows of chastity. The funny

thing was, it never really got all that heated.

The kissing was fine, but I never found

myself wanting to just rip his clothes off like

in some horny teenage fantasy. There was

probably something wrong with me. I had

no problem getting myself off, so my sex

drive wasn’t broken, but I never fantasized

about getting hot and heavy with Matt. He

wasn’t a hot-and-heavy kind of guy.

Honestly, I didn’t care anymore. It was

low on the list of things I was concerned

about. Right above floods and right below

zombie apocalypse.

I tried to think of something to write

that would fill two pages with my small

handwriting. Some of my classmates were

already writing away, but others were just

as stuck as I was.

Music. I wanted to write something

about music.

The only thing I could think of was that

I’d never performed onstage, at least not

outside of a late-afternoon fantasy. I’d

actually never really sung in public. I’d been

in choirs in school, but had never tried out

for anything where I had to sing a solo.

I wrote a sentence, and then another,

and then another.

I described the stage and the lights and

the fluttery feeling of captivating everyone

in the audience with just my voice and

maybe a guitar.

Before I knew it, I had filled three pages,

front and back.

“Okay, everyone. Just hand in what

you’ve got and I’ll go make copies. Don’t

worry about neatness or spelling. That’s not

the point of this exercise. The point is just

to write what comes to your mind, to

stretch it and see what happens.”

Greg left and people broke out talking,

mostly complaining about the assignment

and how lame it was and that they’d

bullshitted their way through it. Yeah, like

Greg wasn’t going to see right through that.

At least I’d been honest about mine.

No one talked to me, for which I was

grateful. Greg came back with a huge stack

of papers and handed them to each of us.

“Okay, so your assignment for next time

is to read everyone else’s and make at least

three comments on each paper.

Got it? You’re dismissed.” He waved his

hand, and I wondered if he’d been British in

a past life. He certainly talked like it, even

though he didn’t have an accent.

I was freaking about everyone else

reading my paper because it was so

personal. I hadn’t meant it to be, but the

words had sort of come out of nowhere.

Nothing I could do about it now.

I pulled the Skittles and M&M’s out of

my bag and tore them open, pouring an

equal amount into my hand before folding

the bags back up and putting them back.

You and your weird snacks. Sometimes

I wonder if there’s something wrong with

your taste buds, Jossy.

I cracked an M&M’s between my teeth

and chased it with a Skittles.

That night I finally got around to

updating my music blog.

I’d gained ten followers that week,

which made me want to dance for joy. It

didn’t sound like a lot, but for being

relatively new, I was gaining followers

pretty steadily. My happy was taken down a

notch when I saw how many stupid spam

comments I had to delete.

“Jos!” Renee yelled from upstairs. I had

my headphones around my neck and my

music on low, so I was able to hear her over

my new Lenka CD.

“Yeah?” I yelled back.

“What are you doing down there?”

“Nothing.” This was ridiculous. I went to

the top of the stairs. “Why?”

“You’ve just been down there forever.”

“Well, I’m not setting my hair on fire or

slitting my wrists, if that’s what you were

worried about.” I leaned in the doorway.

She was killing my blog-updating

momentum.

“No, I just think it’s silly for you to be

down there alone.”

The living room was full of people, as

usual, and also full of half-done homework,

open books and too many highlighters.

Darah had a thing for using different colors

for each class.

“Maybe I like being alone.”

She didn’t have an answer to that.

Renee hated being alone. Being raised with

so many siblings had had the opposite

effect on me.

“Oh, come on, Little Ne. Why would you

want to be alone when you can hang out

with us?” Mase was twisting Darah’s hair

around his fingers, and she was trying to

concentrate on a textbook open in her lap.

They weren’t going to leave me alone,

so I went downstairs, got my laptop and

came back up. Mase moved over so I could

squish next to him on the couch.

“See how much more fun this is?”

Hunter and Taylor were sharing her

e-reader and he kept yelling at her for

skipping to the next page too fast. Once she

was sure I was within her eyesight and not

doing anything bad, Renee went back to her

books and Paul did the same.

Just another night at Yellowfield House.

I turned my music back on and put my

headphones over my ears. With them on, I

couldn’t hear any conversation around me,

even if I wanted to, so it was kind of like

being alone, except for when Hunter stole

the e-reader and Taylor chased him around.

She eventually got a hold of his ear and

twisted it until he gave it back.

“You play dirty, Miss. I might have to

punish you for that.”

I was mentally gagging.

“Shh, that’s the kind of thing we don’t

talk about in front of everyone,” Taylor said,

sitting back down on the couch.

I had no doubt that they normally talked

like that, but me being there put the kibosh

on the sexy talk.

“You guys know that I am aware that

you all have sex with each other. I mean,

not at the same time, because that would

be super creepy, but I’m not an idiot.” All

eyes turned toward me. “I can hear you

when I’m down there.”

Ha. They all looked sheepish. Even

Mase.

“I’m not saying that I care. I’m just

saying that I’m aware of it. I mean, Taylor

and I are nearly the same age. You guys

have to stop treating me like a child.”

Mase cleared his throat.

“You’re right, Jos. I think it’s that we all

sort of went into protective mode when you

came here.”

“I wonder where you got that idea

from,” I said, glaring at Renee.

“What am I supposed to do? You are my

little sister. I’ll always think of you that way,

even when we’re old and gray.”

I was a bit uncomfortable talking like

this with everyone watching, but it was

bound to happen sooner or later.

“I know that.”

“You could loosen up a little, Ne,” Paul

said. I was surprised. He never usually

provoked Renee if he could help it.

I’d have to thank him later.

“Okay, everyone gang up on me—that’s

awesome.” She got up and stormed up the

stairs. Yup, I could have called it.

“Sorry, Jos. I was trying to help,” Paul

said, getting up and going after her.

“I know. Thanks, Paul.”

“I don’t get what she’s so bent out of

shape about,” Mase said. “I mean, I know

you’ve only been here for a short time, but

you don’t really seem like

juvenile-delinquent material. No offense.”

“None taken. It’s just…complicated.” I

was shocked Renee hadn’t given them

every gory detail.

“Most relationships are. Complicated, I

mean,” Mase said, looking at Darah. “But

the complications can be the best part.

Right, Dare?”

Darah nodded and he kissed the side of

her head.

I texted Hannah and told her I could pick

her up at her dorm and walk down to the

Union with her, and she took me up on my

offer. Taylor and Hunter had gone over

earlier because he had to be with the

group. She also mentioned meeting her

friend Megan, who I had yet to become

acquainted with.

Hunter had been acting really weird that

morning, and everyone had noticed. He

tried to play it off that he was nervous

about the performance, but I was pretty

sure Hunter had never been nervous about

anything like that in his life.

He oozed confidence, so clearly he was

either up to something, or he’d done

something stupid. Or both.

“I’m going to meet a friend,” I said to

Renee as I downed my second cup of

Lemon Zinger. I’d really gotten addicted to

that stuff, and I even had my own corner of

the cabinet now for my stash.

“Who?” I hadn’t really mentioned

Hannah in great detail to Renee since she

had been so pissy the night before. I didn’t

know why. I guess I just didn’t want to get

into it with her.

She’d want to know all about her, and I

didn’t want to share Hannah with other

people. She was my friend.

“Don’t worry. You’ll get to meet her.

She’s coming to Hunter’s thing. I’m just

picking her up on my way.”

She looked suspicious, but seriously,

that was what I was doing.

“Okay. I’ll meet you there, then. Drive

safe.” Wow, that was the first time she’d let

me out of the house without a massive

lecture. I met Paul’s eyes and mouthed,

“thank you.”

He nodded back.

I parked in front of Oxford Hall,

Hannah’s dorm, and sent her a text to say I

was ready. She came down a few minutes

later, her hair loose and all over the place.

“Hey, girl. What’s up?”

“Not a whole lot. You?”

“Nope. Just normal roommate drama,

but I’m over it. I would have invited you up,

but she’s there, and I don’t want to provoke

her any more than I already do by existing

in her space. Plus, she’s a major bitch.” She

clicked her seat belt and gave me a rueful

smile.

I found a spot in the commuter lot right

across from the Union.

“Do you mind if I stop for a little

pick-me-up?” Hannah said.

“Nope.”

Hannah filled up on caffeine from the

Starbucks and I marveled at how empty the

Union was when classes weren’t in session.

It was a ghost town. It wasn’t until we got

out to the walkway that crossed over to the

other side of the Union that we looked

down and saw all the people waiting in

front of the bookstore on the lower level.

The Steiners were easy to spot because

they all had black T-shirts that said Steiners

and were standing in a tight group.

I spotted Hunter mostly because his arm

tattoo was so visible. Dusty was also easy to

spot because of his sagging pants.

I leaned over the railing and squinted.

Huh. He had some ink, too, peeking out

from the edge of his T-shirt sleeve.

His tattoo was impossible to read from

my angle. Not that I was trying, or really

cared that much about it.

“Who are we staring at?” Hannah said in

my ear, making me jump. She sipped on a

giant cup of iced something-or-other and

leaned next to me.

“No one in particular,” I said, standing