Read My Sweetest Escape Online
Authors: Chelsea M. Cameron
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #General
“Fine. But you’re no fun.”
“Why don’t you find your own guy?
What about Brett?”
I’d never met the kid, but he was the
first guy she’d even mentioned, so that had
to count for something. Hannah made a
frustrated sound.
“I told you—it’s ancient history.”
“History has a way of repeating itself.” I
was big on being the devil’s advocate
tonight.
“Whatever, girl. You’ve got much more
going on than I do, since I’ve got nothing
going on.”
I walked her up the stairs and said
goodbye before I went back to pick up the
rest of my books from the living room.
Hunter was the only one still up and he
was rubbing his eyes and blinking them
over and over.
“Where’s Dusty?”
“Oh, he had to go. Said to tell you
good-night.” Why did I feel like something
more had gone on while I was downstairs
with Hannah? I stared at Hunter, but I knew
that he was a good liar, at least about stuff
like this.
“Did he say anything about me?” The
words were out before I could grab them
and shove them back in my mouth and
pretend they hadn’t happened.
“Like what?” Play it cool.
“Oh, I don’t know. He was just being
weird in the kitchen.” Hunter looked
genuinely confused.
“Weird, how?” If he was lying, give this
kid an Oscar.
“He didn’t say
anything
to you?” He
shook his head and he looked a little
concerned.
“Do you need to talk to me about
something?”
I shook my head quickly. “No, no. He just
made a joke, and I took it the wrong way.
It’s fine. No big deal, seriously.
I swear. Cross my heart.” I smiled and
held my books to my chest.
“Okay. If you’re sure.”
“Yeah, no big. Good night.”
“Night.”
I hoped Hunter bought my semiterrible
explanation and didn’t ask Dusty, because
clearly Dusty hadn’t said anything to Hunter
about what had happened in the kitchen.
Maybe it was because everyone was
around. Jesus H. Christ, why was this so
confusing?
Dusty wasn’t around the next day, or
the next, and I knew it had everything to do
with me. I tried to ask where he was
without acting like I cared too much about
it, because
I didn’t want anyone to be suspicious.
Hunter just said that he’d picked up some
extra hours at Bull Moose. We were still all
going to the party on Saturday, and I
decided that I needed to talk to him and
know what the hell was up, because I
couldn’t take the suspense. Also, Hannah
had been driving me so crazy I kind of
wanted to kill her, or talk to him just so I
could shut her up.
Despite being so distracted about Dusty,
I did manage to at least make a good
impression on Brett at the interview on
Friday. The offices were on the first floor of
the Union, and I’d walked by and peeked in
a few times since the door was made of
glass. I’d always been kind of fascinated by
it, if I was being honest.
Brett had asked me to bring in some
more writing samples, and he went over
them with me, explaining how an article
should be written in something called
“inverted pyramid style.” It was all a little
confusing, but he gave me a handout on it
and some articles to read online. By the end
of the hour, he had given me a desk and
filled out paperwork to put me on the
payroll. I was still giddy when I got home,
but I didn’t say anything to anyone, except
Hannah, of course. My first day would be
next Tuesday, since they had production
nights on Wednesdays and Sundays. It was
good I had the Dusty thing to worry about
already, so the new-job thing was pushed
aside.
Dusty and I still hadn’t exchanged
numbers, so I had to do some stealthy
eavesdropping to find out when exactly
he’d be at work so I could talk to him, and I
found my perfect opportunity on Saturday.
I walked in hesitantly. I had the whole
thing planned out.
I was looking for Christina Perri, Muse
and The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. I had a
script and everything. It wasn’t John Hughes
material, but I thought it was pretty good.
I walked into the store and went right
for the Christina Perri, since it was easiest
to find in the Pop section. I’d been back a
few times since the first time, and the
employees had continued to leave me
alone.
“Welcome to Bull Moose. How may I be
of assistance?”
It was much better to just sort of expect
him to always be lurking behind me. Like a
tall shadow. With great abs and a killer
smile.
“Well, I was, like, looking for some cool
music. Because all the music I thought was
cool is cool now, and I like things before
they’re cool, so those things aren’t cool
anymore. I need something that is precool.”
I pretended to toss my hair.
He laughed as if he was surprised.
“What?” I said, dropping the annoying
voice I’d been using and going back to my
normal one.
“Nothing. I wasn’t expecting you to
come here anymore.”
I played dumb. “Why not?”
“Well, after…” He cleared his throat.
Huh. This must be Dusty when he was
nervous. It was kind of adorable. I gave
myself a mental slap. Get your head in the
game, Jos.
“Nothing, nothing,” he said, shaking his
head and chuckling. “Is there anything I can
help you with, Red?”
I struggled to remember the script. I
wished I had one of those people who
stood in the wings of the theater and I
could just yell “line!” and they’d feed it to
me.
“Actually, I did come to talk to you
about that. Should we maybe go
somewhere else?” The other employees
had definitely stopped what they were
doing, and I could hear them all listening to
us. I wondered what else Dusty had told
them about me. Did I really want to know?
Probably not.
“Sure. Come on.” He nodded to one of
the guys at the register and pointed to the
door that said Employees Only.
The guy nodded back, and Dusty opened
the door for me.
It was what looked like a break room
with a huge folding table, some
mismatched lawn chairs, a fridge,
microwave and coffeepot. Dusty cleared a
bag of half-eaten chips out of the way and
pulled a chair out for me. I wondered if he
was conscious of stuff like that, or if he just
did it without thinking. If he was trying to
impress me or if it was just a reflex he had
when a woman was in his presence. I kind
of hoped it was the first.
“Okay, so you haven’t been back at the
house and I just wanted to make sure it
wasn’t because of me,” I said in a rush.
In my script, I had said the lines
perfectly. I guess I should have rehearsed
more.
He turned a chair backward and
slouched on it. Too cool for school, that
boy.
“Why would it be because of you?” He
had a smile on his face, but I was beginning
to learn the many smiles of Dusty Sharp,
and this one said that he was putting on an
act. The smile was just a little too wide, his
eyes just a little too bright.
Ha, caught in the act. It was time for my
next line.
“Um, because maybe I called you out on
the fact that you never give me a straight
answer about anything and then…you
almost…” Ugh, the words wouldn’t come
out, even though I’d said them over and
over. Stupid words, being so hard to say.
“We almost what? Because from where I
was standing,
you
were the one who
grabbed
me.
”
Oh, that’s how he wanted to play it?
“As I remember it, I was trying to stop
you from leaving and you, well, you…threw
yourself against me.”
“I was caught off balance and I
underestimated your strength.” Yeah, and I
was the secret love child of Paul, George,
Ringo and John.
“Really? That’s what you’re going with?”
I said, giving him a look.
He looked down and his smile faltered.
“It sounded much better in my head.”
Story of my life.
“We should be able to talk about this.
We’re both rational adults. This doesn’t
have to be a big deal.” Yup, I was officially
off book.
He looked up and shook his head as if he
couldn’t believe what I’d just said. “Oh, Red.
It’s been a big deal for a long time.”
“H-how long?” I leaned forward in my
chair without meaning to, and he leaned
over the back of his so our faces were close
and at the same level.
“Long, long. Since that first time I saw
you messing with the vending machine. I
almost didn’t want you to turn around, and
then you did. I’d heard about you, but I had
no idea you were…you. Shit, I’m really
screwing this up.”
“It’s okay. I’m not really good at the
whole talking thing, either.”
“I guess that makes two of us.”
He leaned, and I leaned and we leaned
and my head was spinning and I was afraid I
was going to go off balance, but I was falling
just as much into his eyes… .
The door opened and a surprised voice
invaded our space.
“Whoa, sorry, man. Just came in to get a
soda, but I’ll get one later. Sorry.” I didn’t
even turn to see the guy. My eyeballs were
otherwise occupied.
Dusty and I were frozen, with those last
few inches of air between us. How was it
that air, so insubstantial most of the time,
could suddenly be so…substantial?
“I don’t know what I’m doing here, Red.
You are a complication that took me
completely by surprise.” His breath moved
across the space between us.
“Ditto,” I said, and he closed his eyes,
but that didn’t break the spell.
“We can’t do this,” he said, not opening
his eyes, but not pulling back.
“Do what?” I didn’t even know what he
was suggesting.
We weren’t even friends. Did he mean
kissing?
He made a frustrated sound and threw
himself to his feet, as if it took every ounce
of strength he had, which was considerable,
and went to the farthest corner of the
room.
“A year ago, I would have kissed you in
the kitchen. Hell, I would have kissed you
the second you first looked at me.
But I’m not that guy anymore. The guy
who takes what he wants and doesn’t give a
shit who it hurts. I would have taken you
and broken you, and I can’t do that. I can’t
do that to you. So I’m saying we can’t do
this. The answer is no.”
I was confused by so much of what he
said it took a moment for me to even
formulate my first of many questions.
“What do you mean, a year ago? What
happened?” I hoped his candor would be
more than a onetime thing. I knew so little
about him and I wanted to know more. He
was such an enigma.
“I lost someone that I loved, and it put
things in perspective.”
“I lost someone, too,” I said. It was the
first time I’d really said it out loud. “That’s
why I changed. Because the things that
used to matter didn’t anymore. I spent my
whole life worrying about the wrong things,
like grades and getting ahead. So I stopped
worrying about that and tried to focus on
the things that mattered.”
“Like what?” Our eyes finally met again.
“Well, I screwed it up a lot at first. That’s
why my parents sent me here. I was
partying and skipping class. I thought living
for the day meant doing whatever I wanted
and worrying about the consequences
tomorrow. Or never.” I laughed a little.
“And then I realized it wasn’t about that. It
was about finding something you were
passionate about.”
“What are you passionate about?”
I pointed to the store behind us.
“Music.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty obvious. I should
have guessed.” We both sort of laughed to
break up the intensity in the room.
“Why? What did you think it was?” The
mind reeled.
“I think I will keep that to myself.”
“Oh, come on. You’re Mr. Cryptic all the
time. How about some transparency? I’ve
been honest with you.”
“I didn’t ask you to.” He went from
joking to almost hostile. “Shit, Jos. What are
you doing to me?” He groaned and started
pacing the room. “I really should get back to
work.
They’re probably taking bets on if we’ve
hooked up yet.”
Uh, what?
“For real?” I looked toward the door. I
did not want to go out there.
“I can set them straight, if you want.”
“If I want? I definitely
don’t
want your
coworkers thinking we had a quickie in the