My Teacher Is an Alien
Read My Teacher Is an Alien Online
Authors: Bruce Coville
Tags: #Humorous Stories, #Action & Adventure, #Extraterrestrial beings, #Juvenile Fiction, #Fantasy & Magic, #General, #Science Fiction, #Substitute teachers, #Education, #Teachers, #Life on other planets, #Schools, #Fiction, #School & Education, #Professional Development
you
do if you found out your teacher was an
alien?
As I watched, Mr. Smith pressed his fingers against the bottom of his eyes. Suddenly he ran his fingertips to the sides of his head, grabbed his ears, and started peeling off his face!
I gasped. Fortunately, the horrible noises coming from the room drowned it out. I wanted to get up and run, but I was too terrified to move.
I started to shake instead. Whatever Mr. Smith was, I was pretty
sure the face he was slowly un
covering wasn't anything that had been born on Earth!
Books by Bruce
C
oville
The A.I. Gang Trilogy
Operation Sherlock Robot Trouble Forever Begins Tomorrow
Bruce Coville's Alien Adventures
Aliens Ate My Homework I Left My Sneakers in
Dimension X The Search for Snout Aliens Stole My Body
Camp Haunted Hills
How I Survived My Summer
Vacation Some of My Best Friends Are
Monsters The Dinosaur That Followed Me Home
I Was A Sixth Grade Alien
I Was A Sixth Grade Alien The Attack of the Two-Inch
Teacher I Lost My Grandfather's Brain Peanut Butter Lover Boy Zombies of the Science Fair Don't Fry My Veeblax! Too Many Aliens Snatched From Earth There's an Alien in My Backpack The Revolt of the Miniature
Mutants There's an Alien in My Underwear Farewell to Earth
Magic Shop Books
Jennifer Murdley's Toad Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher The Monster's Ring The Skull of Truth
My Teacher Books
My Teacher is an Alien My Teacher Fried My Brains My Teacher Glows in the Dark My Teacher Flunked the Planet
Space Brat Books
Space Brat
Space Brat v. Blork's Evil Twin Space Brat 3: The Wrath of Squat Space Brat 4: Planet of the Dips Space Brat 5-: The Saber-toothed Poodnoobie
The Dragonslayers Goblins in the Castle Monster of the Year The World's Worst Fairy Godmother
Bruce Cavillers Chamber ofHorrors
#1 Amulet of Doom #i Spirits and Spells #3 Eyes of the Tarot #4. Waiting Spirits
Oddly Enough Space Station Ice-3
Bruce Coville
Illustrated by
Mike Wimmer
Aladdin Paperbacks New York London Toronto Sydney
To my sixth-grade teacher,
Florence Crandall, who told me to write a story
If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as "unsold and destroyed" to the publisher, and neither the author nor the publisher has received any payment for this "stripped book."
This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
ALADDIN PAPERBACKS
An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing Division
1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020
Text copyright © 1989 by General Licensing Company, Inc.
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in
any form.
ALADDIN PAPERBACKS and colophon are registered trademarks of
Simon & Schuster, Inc.
Designed by Elizabeth Wen
Manufactured in the United States of America
This Aladdin Paperbacks edition July 2005
Special thanks to Pat MacDonald, Leslie Mendelson, and Erin Mendelson.
20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12
Library of Congress Control Number 2004112711
ISBN 1-4169-0334-8
What would
you
do if you found out your teacher was an
alien?
2
Books by Bruce Coville
4
CHAPTER ONE - Missing— One Sixth-Grade Teacher
7
CHAPTER TWO - Note of Doom
14
CHAPTER THREE - An Unearthly Noise
20
CHAPTER FOUR - Broxholm
26
CHAPTER FIVE - How Strong Is an Alien's Nose?
32
CHAPTER SIX - Drafting Peter
37
CHAPTER SEVEN - Night Expedition
43
CHAPTER EIGHT - The Alien's Lair
49
CHAPTER NINE - The Force Field in the Attic
55
CHAPTER
TEN
-
Solo Effort
61
CHAPTER ELEVEN -
Parent Conference
68
CHAPTER TWELVE -
Things Get Weirder
74
CHAPTER THIRTEEN -
Rumors
80
CHAPTER FOURTEEN -
What Can Duncan Dougal Do?
86
CHAPTER FIFTEEN -
Hookey for Three
91
CHAPTER SIXTEEN -
Duncan's Disaster
96
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN -
Teacher Conference
102
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN -
Concert Concerns
106
CHAPTER NINETEEN -
Peter's Choice
110
CHAPTER TWENTY -
Piccolo Power
116
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE -
Out
of This World
125
Bruce Coville's
130
CHAPTER ONE - Missing— One Sixth-Grade Teacher
"Hey, Geekoid!" yelled Duncan Dougal as he snatched Peter Thompson's book out of his hand. "Why do you read so much? Don't you know how to watch TV?"
Poor Peter. I could see that he wanted to grab the book back from Duncan. But I also knew that if he tried, Duncan would cream him.
Sometimes I wonder if Duncan's mother dropped him on his head when he was a baby. I mean,
something
must have made him decide to spend his life making other people miserable. Otherwise why would he spend so much of his time picking on a kid like Peter Thompson? Peter never bothers anyone. Heck, the only thing he
really wants is to
be left alone so he can read whatever book he has his nose stuck in at the moment.
That doesn't seem like too much to ask to me. But Duncan takes Peter's reading as a personal insult.
So here it was, the first day back from spring vacation—we hadn't even gone into the school yet—and I could
tell by the look on Duncan Dou
gal's face that the spring fight season was about to begin.
I clutched my piccolo case to my chest and watched as Peter's pale face began to turn red. Peter blushed at almost anything. He was tall and thin and wore thick glasses. And he was the smartest person I had ever met—grown-ups included.
The problem was, it was all book smarts. Peter had absolutely no idea how to deal with a creep like Duncan. Actually, neither did I. If I did, I would have stopped him. But the one time I had tried to come between Duncan and Peter, I ended up with a black eye myself.
Duncan claimed it was an accident, of course. "Susan just jumped right in front of my fist," he said as if I was the one who had done something wrong. To tell you the truth, I think Duncan punched me on purpose. Most guys wouldn't hit a girl. But Duncan doesn't mind. It was his way of warning me to keep my nose out of his business.
As I watched Duncan squinting down at Peter, it occurred to me that sixth grade can be a dangerous place if you don't watch out.
Stacy Benoit was standing a few feet away from Peter, pressed against the school wall and looking nervous. Stacy is this incredibly good kid, who never gets in trouble ever. She hates fights even more than I do.
She had just started edging her way toward me when Duncan ran his foot through a puddle and splashed dirty water all over Peter's jeans.