My Unexpected Forever (18 page)

H
e
holds my hand as we rush through LAX. Dark glasses cover both our eyes, and even though he said he wouldn’t wear a hat, he is today, but I get it. Now I understand why he suggested we take the red-eye flight. Not only were we alone and not bothered, but everyone is in a rush to exit the airport and get to their early morning appointments. That means no one is stopping and asking for an autograph.

The car I arranged for us is waiting by the curb, as planned. I sigh heavily, thanking whoever is listening. The last thing I need is to screw this up. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I’m not sure I’m cut out to be their manager, especially since things with Harrison and me have developed into what they are now. I don’t want him to give me special treatment, nor would I expect it. Liam already does that to an extent, and I’m afraid there will be too much strain if I was to screw up again. I don’t want the band to be in a position where they have to fire me, yet I’ll still be hanging around. Maybe I’ll become their fanclub President or something equally as demeaning. I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll manage. 4225 West is far too important to me to do them wrong.

The driver opens the door when Harrison nods at him. I slide in first, with Harrison’s hand on the small of my back, guiding me. He sits next to me and reaches for my hand. He hasn’t stopped touching me since we boarded our plane late last night. I’m happy, even though I’d never admit this to Josie, that they took a different flight. Harrison and I got to be a couple without those two making faces or gawking at us.

The way he holds me, the way his fingers dance along my cheek, he makes me feel like I’m the only one he’s ever seen. Many stolen kisses and falling asleep in the most awkward position made our flight very memorable, at least for me. I don’t know how many women he’s flown with and honestly, I’m afraid to know, but I promised myself I’d ask the questions that have been plaguing my mind for a while now. Harrison knows more about me than I do him and that needs to change. If we are going to make this work, we need to be open and honest with each other about everything.

The car lurches through traffic. Harrison points out different landmarks and promises to take me on a hike to show me the famous Hollywood sign.

“You don’t live in Hollywood?” I ask. I knew Liam did and assumed Harrison does as well.

“I live in Beaumont,” he says, catching me off guard. “I have an apartment here. My sister has been living in it, but she’s in New York right now.”

Sister? This is exactly what I’m talking about. I don’t know him and I want to. What’s his favorite color or food? Does he like to sleep in on Saturdays or does he get up with Quinn and watch cartoons?

“But you don’t live in Hollywood?”

Harrison shakes his head. He cups my face and presses his lips to mine. “I live in Beaumont,” he says again. I understand the meaning behind his words. “But I have a place in Hermosa Beach. There’s something about living in the city that doesn’t appeal to me.”

“How far are you from the ocean?” It’s been years since I’ve seen the ocean and played in the sand.

Harrison pushes his ball cap back and forth and lets out a sigh. “Ms. Powell, are you using me for my beach access?”

I punch him lightly and fall into him. He holds me as the car travels down the highway to his place. A slight sense of dread washes over me. I hope he knows I’m not using him. He’s not a rebound or anything like that. I truly enjoy being with him and value what we’re building. “I’m not using you.”

“I know,” he says quietly with his lips pressed to top of my head. “If you walk out the sliding glass door and off the deck, you’ll be in the sand. Not sure how many steps it is until you reach the water, but I could text Quinn and ask him.”

“That’s okay,” I say. I play with the ties from his hoodie and think about having him partially naked and wet in the ocean. “We can count our own steps.”

“Yeah, I’d like that, Katelyn.”

Harrison starts humming the melody from the song he wrote for me. It lulls me into a blissful state. We’re existing in this cocoon, neither of us willing to punch through and discuss where we’re heading. I’m not sure I can say I’m in this for the long haul, it’s far too soon for me to even think about where I’ll be next year, but I don’t want a fling and I don’t want to introduce him as someone special, only for him to bail days or weeks later. Not that I think he would, but there’s a lingering fear that I’m not what he wants out of life. I’m a widow with two children and he can have his pick of any woman he wants, why would he want me and my baggage?

“Hey,” he says. “We’re here.” He points, but all I see is a tall apartment complex looming in front of me. I know I’m tired, but I swear he said sand and ocean.

“Um…”

“It’s out back. Come on.” He takes my hand in his and we slide out of the car. Harrison gives the driver a tip and takes our bags from him. “Follow me,” he says as he winks. I have no problem walking behind him, I like to stare at his backside more than I care to admit. I like to stare at him in general. I never thought I’d find him attractive with all this tattoos, but I do. They excite me, and each time we’re together, I learn something about one of them. He’s a story waiting to be told.

Harrison leads us down cobblestone walkways and through palm trees and shade created by stockade fencing. Most have flower arrangements hanging off of them, creating a nice oasis of tranquility. I try to picture myself walking down this path with a bag of groceries and coming home to Harrison. I can see myself here, but I can’t leave Mason. I know he’s gone, but in my heart, he’s still my Beaumont and I’m not ready to give that up yet.

Before I can catch myself, I’m stumbling into Harrison’s back as he’s trying to open the door. He turns and shakes his head.

“Here, let me.” I take the key from his hand and unlock the door. I push down on the lever and open it. My gasp is loud and unexpected. Harrison chuckles behind me. I don’t know what I was expecting, but this isn’t it. Everything is white with black and red furniture and fixtures. I take tentative steps in and survey my surroundings. Everyday this man does something to wow me, but I think this really sets him apart. On his back wall – with white curtains billowing in the wind – are large doors that are open to the ocean. The sound of waves crashing onto the beach is so soothing that I could crawl up on his black sofa and sleep for days.

Harrison stands behind me with his hands on my waist. “Would you like a tour?” I nod, unable to find the right words. To think there’s more of this beauty wrapped up in an apartment is unthinkable.

He pulls my hand into his and kisses my palm, my wrist. The look he’s giving me tells me that he wants to do so much more, and I’m powerless to stop him. We step farther into his place and he shows me the kitchen and small bathroom. Down the hall is Quinn’s room, which is decorated in primary colors with a drum set sitting in the corner.

“Does he play?”

“Yeah, and the guitar,” Harrison says proudly as he shuts the door.

He shows me another bathroom that he claims is Quinn’s and never goes in there. The next is his sister’s, he doesn’t open her door, and I respect that he’s keeping her privacy when she’s not home. The last door is his. I know this before he even says anything.

He opens the door wide and steps aside, giving me all the access I need to see another side of him. His bedroom in Beaumont is really no different from what Josie had. He hasn’t painted the walls or rearranged the furniture she kept there. But this room, it’s all Harrison.

Three of the walls are painted in a mural much like you’d see on his arms. The other wall opens up to the beach. His bed is large and done in white and blue patterns that you’d find yourself staring at for hours to try and figure out. I close my eyes and imagine myself on this bed, nestled deep in the comforter with Harrison’s arms wrapped around me. The windows are open with the wind blowing, bringing in the smell of sea salt.

I step in and trail my fingers along the large oak dresser that is stained perfectly. The mirror that sits on top shows my tired reflection, but also shows the bed. My imagination runs wild with Harrison standing before me, getting dressed for practice. I can watch myself trace his tattoos, burning each one into memory.

“This is beautiful,” I say, clearly stating my thoughts.

“It’s empty.” He steps behind me, but doesn’t touch me. My skin awaits his caress, yearns for it. Demands it.

“Why?”

“I haven’t found someone to fill it until now.”

“Yeah?” My voice breaks. If I was curious about where his head is, I’m not now. I turn, brushing against him. I take a deep breath before peering into his smoldering green eyes. He’s taken his hat off, much to my enjoyment.

He pulls his lower lip into his mouth and places his hands on my hips. “I’ve had this whole speech planned for when we got here and were alone, but I’ve forgotten it all. Seeing you in my room, my house where Quinn and I have lived until we moved to Beaumont, you have no idea what it means to me, or what it does to me.”

I push against him and smile. “I know what it does.”

He shakes his head and picks up my hand, placing it over his heart. “I want to share this with you and the girls. I know you’re thinking it’s too soon and maybe it is, but I don’t want lines crossed here, Katelyn. I want you to know how I feel. How Quinn feels.”

“I can’t move.” The words break my heart, but if he’s expecting me to leave Beaumont, I can’t.

“I’m not asking you to move. We could come here for the summer. Let the girls run on the beach until they’re so tired we have to carry them in. You can sit on the deck and read a book. I’ll cook our dinner on the grill. Life here is quiet with no expectations.”

“And Quinn, what will he do?”

“He’ll show the girls how to make the biggest sand castle and teach them to body surf. Everything that we have here, we want to share with you and the girls.”

“What about your sister? The one I didn’t know you had?”

Harrison moves my hair behind my ear and kisses my nose. “There’s a lot we don’t know about each other, but can learn. Yvie is a ballet dancer in New York City. She stays here when she’s home because I’m not here, but wouldn’t be here when we come back.”

The James family is beyond talented, and here they are mixing with my mundane family. The only talent I have is for screwing up something as simple as a tour. I know I’m not cut out for the showbiz life, but I’d like to fit into his.

“Can I think about it? I’d like to properly introduce you to the girls if we’re going to be serious — ” Harrison interrupts me with a deep searing kiss.

“You don’t know what those words do to me, baby,” he whispers as he grinds into me.

“Yeah, well I think you should show me.”

“My pleasure.”

Harrison picks me up and sets me down gently on his bed. He hovers over me and just when I think this is going to be wild and unadulterated, he surprises me by taking his time.

I
startle awake and reach for Katelyn. The spot where she laid is empty and the sheets are cool to the touch. The moment I feel the wind tickle my face, I know where I’ll find her. I sit up and look out the open door. The sun has already set. I quickly look at the clock on my bedside table and realize we’ve slept the day away. This isn’t how I had planned to spend the day, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I sit up and watch her, well the back of her. I wonder how long she’s been sitting in the sand, staring at the ocean. I contemplate whether I should bother her or figure out what we’re going to eat for dinner. I chide myself for getting carried away earlier. I wanted to show her around, give her a tour, but having her in my room was a dream come true, and there was no way I could pass up the moment of having her in my arms. Having her in my bed is definitely something I plan to do again, repeatedly.

Slipping on my boxers and shorts, I make my way into the kitchen and hope my mom stocked up well. I suppose I could grow up and really start doing everything for myself, but it would be moments like this where I have to call for some type of food delivery and I really want to be alone with Katelyn before band business gets in the way.

The refrigerator is exactly as I expected it. “Thanks, mom,” I say out loud, because not only did she fix me up right, but she’s given me an idea. I take out what I need and start preparing. I move around the kitchen quickly for fear that Katelyn will come looking for me. Or is it hope? All I know I want to take this to her because she’s not expecting it. Just like I didn’t expect her to make such an impact on my life.

The sand is warm on my bare feet as I walk toward her. As I get closer, I notice that she’s wearing one of my dress shirts. It doesn’t even bother me that I know she went into my closet to get it. It’s sexy as fuck seeing her in my clothes.

I set down the plate of food I made and sit behind her. She leans against me, her head resting on my shoulder. I could live like this and be happy for the rest of my life. The only thing missing are the kids running around in front of us. They complete us.

I pull the wrap off the plate and pick up a piece of cheese and apple wedge. “I have something for you,” I say as I reach around her and place the offering at her lips. She doesn’t say anything. She just takes a bite and nuzzles into my neck. I get the feeling that something is wrong, but I’m afraid to ask her what. I’m not sure I’d like the answer if she told me that she doesn’t want to spend the summer here or if she’s starting to second guess us because of what I said earlier.

I take a few grapes off the vine and feed both of us, alternating between her and me. There are a few surfers out in the water, but for the most part, the beach is deserted right now, which is shocking. I’m not complaining. It gives us more privacy.

“You’re not what I thought you’d be,” she says as her lips graze my neck. What I am is losing my resolve not to spin her around and watch her come undone from my touch. Her body is the one drumbeat I can’t master, but I’ll never give up trying. I try not to overthink her statement. I’m not sure I want to know what it means, but leaving it unquestioned will only burn me later.

“Meaning?” I ask as I feed her a strawberry.

Katelyn shrugs. “Everything I thought about you was wrong. I had a list a mile long of reasons why we wouldn’t work. First with your tattoos, I assumed the worst. Then there was the woman at the bar when we were in Florida. When I saw that happen, I thought there was no way I’d be able to trust someone like you and wondered how Josie was doing it. I was so standoffish, and yet you come over twice a week to mow my lawn, even though I never asked you to. I kept saying we couldn’t be together and now that we are, I can’t find a reason for us not to be. If anything, you should hate me for being a bitch to you.

“Here we are, at your gorgeous place that you left to live in Beaumont, and I can’t understand why. You’re feeding me, and that is definitely something I never expected from you. Hell, it’s never even happened to me before. And this afternoon, the way you made love to me…” Katelyn sighs and shakes her head. She leans forward and covers her eyes, hiding from me. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do here. Everything I’ve been doing so far, I’ve done because it felt natural, but right now, I don’t know if I’m supposed to reach out and touch her or leave her to sort through her thoughts. Right now, I’m lost and confused. Earlier, things seemed fine, but that’s definitely not the case at this moment.

My throat is tight. I clear it a few times, but am unable to find my voice. I’m afraid to move. What if this is not what she wants? I sit like a statue and fight the pressure in my chest. I can’t take anymore.

“I don’t…” I have to clear my throat again. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say here, Katelyn.”

She shakes her head again and stands. My shirt is long enough to over her ass, but I know she’s not wearing anything underneath. She turns and takes two steps forward before falling to her knees in front of me. I’m afraid to touch her, even though I’m burning to pull her to me.

“Why do you hide from me?”

I look at her questioningly. “What’re you talking about?”

“Is this the real Harrison James sitting in front of me?”

Well, isn’t that a loaded question with many possible answers? “What do you want to know?”

“Where are your parents?”

I run my hand through my hair and sigh. I look down the beach and smile. “My mom lives about ten minutes away. I told you earlier that my sister is in New York and my dad – he died when I was four. He was a police officer and was shot in the line of duty by a gang member.”

“Harrison,” she says my name so quietly, but full of sorrow. Katelyn cups my face, her fingers dancing along my jaw, playing with my scruff.

“It was a long time ago, Katelyn.”

“But you were so young.” This I was, and I suffered dearly for not having a father figure around and a mom that had to work two jobs to make ends meet. I love my mom more than anything. She had to be not only a mother, but a father, and she tried so hard to make mine and Yve’s life the best she could. I need to change the subject before I tell her the horrors of my childhood that will surely send her running for the hills.

“What about you? How was life as an only child?”

Katelyn shrugs and plays with the hair at the nape of my neck. “I had Josie, so it was like having a sister.”

“When did you and Mason start dating?”

Katelyn pulls back a little and looks at me. Her head moves from side to side. She pulls her lip in between her teeth. I reach out and pull it out with my thumb and place a kiss where she was biting it.

“You don’t have to answer.”

“It’s not that. Do you really want to know?”

I take this opportunity to pull her into my arms. “He’s a part of your life and he’s part of the girls’ life. I’ll never ask you not to talk about him when I’m around. I’ll never ask you to stop loving him. If he was here, I’d hate him.” I shake my head because that’s not true. “No, I probably wouldn’t know you if he was here, and for that I’m both thankful and remorseful because his girls are the best, most beautiful girls that I’ve ever encountered, and I want to do right by not only them, but him too.”

Tears begin to roll down her face. I wipe them away before she has a chance to. She stares at me with wet eyes that are breaking my heart. I didn’t mean to make her cry, but it’s the only way I can get across with how I feel.

“We started dating the summer after freshman year. He was so popular and cute. My mother said he only wanted me for my swimming pool, but that wasn’t the case. We all grew up that summer.”

“Liam told me a lot about him. Sometimes I feel like I know him, especially when I’m with you and the girls.”

Katelyn smiles and curls up in my arms. “Everyone loved him. He was the high school football star who returned to coach the team. He was supposed to go to school with Liam, but changed his mind and gave up a scholarship to the University of Texas to go to the state school with me. I wonder now, had he gone with Liam, if things would be different.”

“Like how?”

“I don’t know. Would they be in the NFL doing what they loved? Would I be one of those wives you see on television, bitching about her husband or involved in some marital scandal? Nothing went according to plan once we graduated high school.”

“And now, you’re involved with someone who doesn’t fit your norm, sitting on the beach in my dress shirt and about to attend your first red carpet event.”

“You wrote me a song.”

I can’t help but smile. “I did and we are performing it tomorrow night at the awards show.”

“I’m your date.”

“You are, and from what I’ve heard, you have a pretty smoking dress that I’m going to want to rip off of you.”

She rolls her eyes. “Can I ask you about my job?”

I sigh. I’ve been hoping to avoid this topic. “Sure,” I say.

“I’ve done a bad job. I let the band down.”

I wrap my arms around her and rest my chin on the top of her head. Liam and I haven’t sat down and discussed what to do. We were going to wait until after this week was over before we made plans to move forward.

“I think we threw you to the wolves without proper training. It’s our fault.”

“I think I should quit.”

“Why?” I’m caught off-guard by her statement.

“Because if we’re together, I need to be away from you.”

“What?” my voice breaks. I don’t want her away from me, ever.

“Not like that. What I’m saying is I like that you come to my house after you’re done working and if we spend all day together, the evenings won’t have the same meaning.”

I think I love this woman. I tip her head up and capture her lips. She’s right. The anticipation of seeing her after work will be worth it.

“So what do you want to do?”

“Quit. I’ll help Josie at Whimsicality.”

“If that’s what you want.”

Katelyn nods. I guess that settles it. I’m indifferent about her decision. I’ll miss her during the day, but knowing she’ll be expecting me at night is going to be worth it.

“You’ve never kissed me in front of the girls.” She says as she turns in my arms.

I feel the side of my mouth move up in a smile at her. She slaps me in the chest. “I’ve never kissed anyone aside from my mom and sister in front of Quinn. He’s never seen me with a woman.”

“Are you serious? Why?”

I look down. What if she finds my reasoning stupid? When I found out Quinn was mine, I changed my ways. Yes, I still partied and did my fair share of womanizing, but I didn’t bring that home to him. “I want him to have respect for women, and if I parade them around, he’ll think that’s okay when it’s not. Now why haven’t you kissed me in front of the girls?” I ask her the same question even though I know the answer.

Katelyn purses her lips. I can tell she’s biting the inside of her cheek. “I’m not sure how they’ll react. I haven’t told them about us because I don’t know what to say. Honestly, I feel stupid trying to put a label on us.”

“So don’t.”

“Don’t?”

I shrug. “Tomorrow night when they ask me who you are, my answer is going to be Katelyn. No one needs to know. Who cares what people think,
we
only matter to us and I’m not going anywhere, anytime soon. Are you?”

“No,” she says, trying not to smile.

“Good.”

I hold her in my arms as the sun finally sets. When she starts shivering, I know it’s time for us to head inside. We walk, hand in hand, back to my place and all I can think is that this is my paradise.