Naked Choke (A Stepbrother MMA Romance) (12 page)

Chapter Twenty-One

I crawl slowly across my bedspread, feeling shattered. The
one-two punch of Austen’s betrayal and Logan’s rejection is almost more than I
can take. The Riggins boys sure know how to break a girl’s heart.

I take my pillow and pull it to my chest, curling my body
around it like it could stop up what feels like a gaping wound in my heart.
Even if Logan was the right one for me, whatever that means, it doesn’t matter
anymore. He’s happy with Sara now. And Austen is off making out with whomever.

Maybe it’s karma. Maybe this is what I deserve for lying to
my mom. And Duke. And even Austen and Logan at various times. It seems I
haven’t been honest with anyone. Not even myself.

I hear a knock at the door and squeeze the pillow tighter to
my chest. Austen. I don’t want to talk to him right now. I can’t take it. One
more blow tonight and I think I’ll break. I close my eyes, hoping he’ll go
away. Tomorrow. I’ll deal with him tomorrow.

“Cat?” My eyes fly open and I see Logan has opened my door a
crack and poked his head in. Oh god, I’m curled up in the fetal position around
my pillow.

“Um, yeah?” I reply, trying to keep my voice light. Maybe
that will help me look less pathetic. Though I doubt it.

“I, ah, I wanted to let you know…I called Sara. I broke up
with her.”

I sit up straight. “Oh. Oh! You did. Is she…are you…OK?”

He nods. “Mind if I come in?”

“Yes, yes, of course,” I reply, swinging my legs onto the floor
as he sits next to me on the bed. The air feels like it’s full of electricity,
and my heart is pounding in my ears.

“Ever since you told me I should make more time for her, I
knew it wasn’t right. Because I know myself, and I know that I make time for
the things I really want. I knew I wouldn’t even need to think about it. If I
were with you, for example,” he says, staring at his hands knotted in his lap.

“Oh,” I breathe, staring at his strong profile.

“I’m sorry about earlier tonight. When I kissed you, and
then you told me you were with Austen…man, that took me down for a bit. Maybe I
was just dating Sara to try to get over you, and for the record, I know that
was a shitty thing to do to her. I’ve got no excuse for that. But it didn’t
work anyway.”

“You…you didn’t get over me? That’s what you’re saying?” I
whisper, hardly believing my ears. I’ve never gone from depression to elation
so quickly.

He finally turns to me, his eyes catching and holding mine.
“No. Not even close,” he says. I smile as he leans forward, his gaze only
dropping from mine just before our lips touch. We’re finally both on the same
page, neither of us holding back, and it’s clear in the contact. Our lips open
and our tongues desperately press against each other.

His long fingers wrap around my waist and he pushes me down.
I wrap my arms around his neck as his weight envelopes me. I’ve never wanted
foreplay less. All I want is him inside me. Right. Now.

I reach down and grab the bottom of my shirt. He quickly
sits up and whips his own off as I toss mine onto the floor. We stare at each
other’s bodies hungrily, but only for a moment. I reach back and unclasp my bra
and he groans as my breasts spring free. He leans down and I gasp as he pulls a
nipple into his mouth. I stretch my arm down to find the zipper of his pants
and tug it down, reaching inside and feeling the long curve of his cock hard
against my palm.

He bites down on my breast in surprise as my hand closes
around his member. I begin to push his pants down with my feet. I feel his
fingers graze against my stomach and my own pants being unzipped and tugged
off. He sits up again, grinning down at me as we both finish taking off our
clothes, tossing them onto the floor next to the bed.

The chaos pauses for a moment as Logan lets his gaze travel
slowly down my naked body. I shiver in delight at the expression on his face.
His right hand moves slowly forward across my hip and then suddenly dips
between my thighs. I moan, the feel of his fingers against my clit eliciting a
pleasure so exquisite it’s almost painful. I can hear the sounds of my own
wetness as his fingers circle around. I’m already so close, but I want him to
come with me.

“Wait, wait,” I gasp. His fingers pull away and I lean off
the bed, half-witted with pleasure, and begin to desperately search through my
purse. I think I had one condom tucked away in a side pocket. My fingers close
around the small packet and I pull back, presenting it to Logan. “Please,” is
all I say, and he takes it from me immediately, ripping the foil open with his
teeth. I watch him roll it down his perfect, pink dick as I lay back against my
comforter.

He leans forward, palms on either side of my shoulders. His
mouth finds mine again as his right hand pulls my right knee away from my body.
His cock presses against my opening, and with one hard thrust, he encloses
himself inside me.

Our lips both fall open dumbly and our eyes find each other
at the sheer force of the sensation. I slide my hands up and under his and our
fingers lace through each other’s. Only then does he slowly pull back out, and
press back in again. My eyes roll back in my head as he holds my hands firmly
down against the bed and begins to drive inside me faster and faster. I begin
to pick my hips up, matching him with every thrust. I want to feel him deep and
hard inside me. His breath is hot and labored against my ear. I can feel him
gritting his teeth against my cheek.

“I’m ready. I’m there,” I gasp, and with a strangled moan,
he releases himself inside me as my body quakes with a powerful orgasm. He
thrusts a few times more as I lose myself in the wave of pleasure cascading
over me. He finally collapses down on top of me, releasing my hands, and I wrap
my arms and legs tightly around him, not wanting to lose the feeling of the
weight of his body on top of me.

I don’t know how long we stay like that, our bodies entwined
around each other. I finally feel him stir on top of me, pulling out and
falling next to me on the bed with a great sigh. His hand on my cheek turns my
face to him, and he covers my lips with soft kisses. I roll over toward him,
sliding my hand across his slightly hairy chest, and resting my head on his
shoulder beneath the crook of his neck.

“Don’t fall asleep,” he murmurs against my forehead.

“But I’m so tired,” I sigh in confusion.

“I want you in my bedroom. I’ve pictured you in there so
many times…” I smile and squirm against him, delighted with the idea that he
could have been fantasizing about me.

“Alright, you woke me up.”

He immediately jumps out of bed with a vigor that astonishes
me, though I guess his stellar conditioning does extend to more places than
just the cage. He reaches down and offers me his hand. I place mine in his and
hop up next to him. Still holding my hand, he brings his other finger to his
lips, indicating we should be quiet, even as he smiles devilishly.

With both of us buck naked, he opens my bedroom door. When
I’m out in the hall with him, he closes it behind us and we tiptoe together
down the hall to his bedroom. He releases my hand as I step inside and he
quietly shuts his door. As he turns toward me, a grin spreads across his face.

“You, completely naked, in my bedroom. Perfect,” he growls
as he walks up to me. I gasp as our naked bodies touch and he wraps his arms
around my back, pulling me tightly against him. “I want you so many different
way, I don’t even know where to start.”

“I’ve got one idea,” I murmur as I sink to my knees. I watch
his lips drop open as I take his rapidly-hardening cock in my mouth. As I take
him in, the taste of latex and his sweat mingling on my tongue, he moans, and I
relax my throat as much as possible to receive his full girth. I work my way up
and down his length and bring one hand up to massage his balls and wrap the
other around the base of his cock. There’s no way I can fit all of him in my
mouth, but I want him to feel fully enveloped.

I feel his hand on my head and pause, tilting my face up
questioningly. “Stand up,” he says, and I get to my feet. He picks me up under
the armpits and tosses me back on the bed. But instead of lying on top of me
like I think he’s going to, he dives onto the mattress in the other direction,
with his feet up by my head.

I gasp as I feel his face press between my thighs. I go
completely limp for a moment as his tongue circles expertly around my clit.
Focusing myself, I roll over onto my side and wrap my lips around him again. I
have to really concentrate to keep my head bobbing up and down; whatever he’s
doing with his tongue is driving me wild and filling my head with a haze of
pleasure. I steady myself with a hand on his thigh as my body threatens to lose
control. I tighten my lips around him and take him to the back of my throat as
we work in perfect tandem with each other.

All of a sudden, he's pulling himself out of my mouth and
his legs disappear from in front of me. A second later, his hands are on my
hips and he's pulling me back toward him until I'm sitting upright on my heels.
I wait as I hear the sound of a condom ripping open. I'm kneeling with my back
to him, and I'm not sure what position he's going for. I feel his hands run
down my hips and then onto my feet. He spreads them wide so my thighs form a V.
I realize that he's kneeling too, but with his knees close together so that
they slip through the opening of my legs. He pulls my hips up and then slowly
lowers me down onto his cock.

I gasp as he stretches me open and his hand move onto my
bare chest. In this position, the front of my body is completely open to him
and he's taking advantage of it. He massages my breasts as he circles his dick
inside me and I tilt my head back, feeling him hit every nerve inside me.
Wanting even more, I raise my hips up and slide back down his length. He
groans, and moves one hand to my clit. One of his long fingers begins to circle
me rapidly, and I rise up on my knees again and then back down. I move faster
and faster as he raises up his hips to meet me.

Suddenly he's moving under me, and with one hand wrapped
around my ribcage to support me, he leans forward, pitching me down face first
onto the bed. His arms snake under me and then grab my shoulders as he thrusts
into me hard. I moan with shock and pleasure as I feel how deep he is.
Instinctively, I bring my legs in and clasp my ankles tightly together,
sheathing him inside me.

"Oh, fuck, Cat," he groans in my ear. He
repositions his legs outside of mine, and then really starts to drive inside
me. I turn my head to the side, gasping for air as he hits my g-spot again and
again. I grasp the bedspread in my hands as my body bucks with an orgasm. His
weight keeps me pinned to the bed and my body seems to react in an even more
concentrated way. I'm vaguely aware of a warmth spreading inside me as he
comes.

My body shakes with the final throes of my orgasm before I
feel Logan completely collapse on top of me. After a moment, he takes my left
hip and pulls it with him as he falls onto the mattress next to me while still
remaining inside me. I shiver as the cold air hits the sweaty front of my body,
and he wraps his arms tightly around me, pulling me close. I feel his lips
against the back of my neck, trailing kisses against my skin toward my ear.

"Tell me you're mine, Cat."

"I'm yours," I whisper back as sleep pulls me
under.

Chapter Twenty-Two

I wake up early with a start. I'm not in my own bed. My eyes
travel down to the long arm snaked under my neck and extended out onto the
white sheet next to me. I smile and turn my body around achingly slowly. I
don't want to wake Logan.

His breathing changes slightly as I move, but quickly
deepens again. His brow, so often furrowed during the day, is completely
relaxed now. I glance out the window. I can tell by the light that it's early.
Still, I should get going back to my room.

I inch my body back toward the edge of the mattress before
sitting up and stepping onto the floor. I could wake him up to say goodbye, but
he just looks so peaceful. I look around for my clothes before remembering that
I left them in my own room.
Not the smartest choice, Cat.
The only thing
that could possibly look worse than creeping out of Logan's room at dawn is
creeping out of Logan's room at dawn
naked
.

I peer out into the hallway. The house is quiet. I jump out,
close Logan's door behind me as quickly and quietly as possible, and run down
to my room. I shut my door behind me and realize I've been holding my breath as
I gasp for air. I crawl onto my bed, feeling exhausted, but otherwise happy.

I'll be glad to be done with all this sneaking around. I
want to date Logan right out in the open, and from what he said last night, I
think that's what he wants, too. Though I suppose I shouldn't make any
assumptions. I'll talk to Austen as soon as I can today.

I drift off to sleep for a few hours. When I wake up, I
stretch as I turn over. A fissure of worry runs at the first thought that pops
into my head. I have to talk to Austen. It seemed simple last night and earlier
today, but confrontation has never been my strong suit. From his behavior last
night at the bar, though, I don't think I'm going to encounter much resistance
to officially breaking things off between us.

I slowly get up and pull on a pair of cotton pants and a
tank top. As I walk downstairs, I hear movement in the kitchen. I tense for a
moment as I picture Austen and Logan in there together alone, but as I round
the banister I see my mom and Duke at the counter.

"Morning," I say, and my mom turns around.

"Good afternoon, more like it," she says with a
smile. "It's almost noon. You two slept late," she adds, nodding over
at the breakfast table. I turn to see Logan sitting there, grinning at me over
a bowl of cereal.

"Not as late as Austen," Duke grumbles. I press my
lips together as I move toward the cabinet for my oatmeal. I've never heard
Duke complain about his oldest son, but he's not finished yet. "If he
stayed out late last night, in the middle of training for this tournament, with
less than a month to go…" he shakes his head. As much as I'd love to dump
on Austen right now, too, I keep my mouth shut.

"He might be awake, and just hasn't come upstairs
yet," my mom reasons.

"I called his phone. He's not answering. I bet he met
some girl last night," Duke continues. I hear Logan snort and then begin
to cough as a piece of cereal gets stuck in the wrong pipe. His dad frowns at
him, and then turns back to my mom. "I mean, he should blow off some steam
every now and then, lord knows I used to, but I never let it interfere with
training."

"Hon, its Sunday. You guys have the day off anyway. Cut
him a little slack," my mom says almost under her breath. I watch Duke
shift his weight out of the corner of my eye, and then am surprised to see him
shrugging the tension out of his shoulders. I've never seen anyone stand up to
the big man so successfully. Go, Mom.

I nuke my instant oatmeal and take it to the breakfast
table. Logan eyes me across the table and I shake my head slightly at him to
get him to look away, though I can't help but smile. As our parents move into
the living room, he leans over toward me.

"What are you doing today?"

"I'm covering for Harold for a few hours. And I need to
talk to Austen. I guess I'll do that tonight, unless he surfaces before I go to
work." Logan nods, looking thoughtful. "Wanna hang out before I go
in? We can keep my bedroom door open so it doesn't look suspicious," I add
with a smile.

"But when we, officially, you know…I want my dad and
your mom to know. No secrets."

I smile. "I thought you'd say that. No secrets," I
promise.

* * *

I look down at my phone as I turn off the car. I texted
Austen a few times during my shift asking him if we could talk, and he hasn't
responded. It's almost seven, so he can't still be sleeping.

"Hey, just in time," my mom greets me as I walk
into the kitchen from the garage. "Grab a plate." I nod, dumping my
purse on a chair at the breakfast table and then returning to the counter. I
fill my plate with chicken and vegetables, all the while straining my ears for
the sound of Austen's voice. I definitely pick up Logan and Duke's voices
coming from the dining room, but I don't think I hear Austen.

I walk in and blush as Logan smiles at me. Thankfully, my
ears didn't deceive me and Austen isn't here. I sit down at my usual place
across from Logan and manage a quick wink as Duke looks back toward the kitchen
to see what's taking my mom so long.

"Austen?" I hear her call, and then a rapping
sound as she knocks against the basement door. "Dinner's ready. You
there?" I tense up, hoping he won't respond or that he's not there, but then
there's a muffled reply and my mom enters the room. "He's coming up,"
she informs us with a smile as she sits. "Why don't we start though?"
Duke nods and they both dig in. Logan takes the opportunity to catch my eyes.

"Did you talk?" he mouths silently.

I shake my head. "Not yet." I see Logan grimace
slightly at the sound of footsteps on the stairs. The basement door opens and I
can hear Austen fixing a plate for himself in the kitchen. I keep my gaze down
at my food as he walks in and sits down next to Logan.

"You look like shit," Duke Grumbles, and I finally
glance up at Austen. Well, he's not wrong. Austen's got bags under his eyes and
he looks exhausted.

"Wasn't feeling well last night. Think I caught a
stomach bug or something. Probably just a twenty-four hour thing," he
replies, his eyes shooting toward me for a moment. I look back down at my
chicken, studiously avoiding his gaze.

"Mmhm," Duke murmurs, and I'm not sure if he
believes his elder son's story. "Well, I hope you're better by tomorrow. We've
got a long day of training set up."

"I'm sure I'll be fine," Austen assures him,
though I think we all heard the subtext behind Duke's words:
get your shit
together, because I'm not going to go easy on you.

I manage to completely ignore Austen for the rest of the
meal, despite him asking how my work shift was. I direct my response to the
rest of the table, as though someone else had asked it. As we all clear the
table, I start to get nervous. I know I have to have a serious conversation
with him tonight. I can't avoid it.

After I hear my mom and Duke go to sleep, I tiptoe down the
hall to Logan's room. His door is slightly ajar, so I poke my head in. He's
sitting at his desk, watching MMA fights on YouTube.

"Hey," he greets me with a smile.

"I'm going to talk to him now," I say without
preamble.

He nods and takes a deep breath. "OK. Cat, I…" he
trails off. "Never mind. I'll tell you later."

"OK. Later. After it's done." I shut his door and
head back down the hallway and then walk purposefully down the stairs and then
up to the basement door. I take a deep breath and raise my hand toward the
knob. Just as I touch the cool metal, it swings open and I'm face to face with
Austen.

"Oh!" he exclaims, sinking back down onto a lower
step. "I was just about to come see you."

"I was just coming to see you," I say with an
awkward smile. "Um, should we…" I gesture toward the stairs behind
him.

"Yes. Yes, good idea." He turns around and I
follow him, studying the back of his head. He definitely seems uncomfortable. Could
the bouncer have mentioned I was there last night? Or maybe he just feels
guilty and wants to talk about our argument. He sits on the couch and I do the
same, leaving a full cushion's worth of space between us.

I clear my throat as a flutter of nerves kicks up in my
stomach. "So, I wanted to talk about last night," I say.

"Me, too. But I…I think there's something I should tell
you first," he says, staring down at his hands. His fingers are clenched
together so tightly they're turning white. "OK, OK," he says to
himself as though he's steeling himself for something. "I made the biggest
mistake of my life last night," he finally says, turning to me. I flinch
at the look of pain in his eyes. "When you brought up telling our parents,
I freaked out. Even though you were right, and I had made it seem like I was
serious about you. Because I was. And I am. It's just when you brought it up,
it seemed more real all of a sudden, not just the idea of it anymore, and I
panicked."

"I—"

"Wait, I need you to hear this. I went to a bar. I got
really fucking drunk, and I made out with some girl. I don't even know her
name. It meant
nothing
, Cat. We kissed, that was it, and then I came
home and passed out. And when I woke up this morning I felt absolutely sick
about it. And that's when I realized why I reacted like I did last night. It's
because I've never felt this strongly for someone before, and I don't know what
to do about it. I could see spending the rest of my life with you."

My mouth drops open. "What?" I whisper.

He takes a deep breath and looks me straight in the eye.
"Please, Cat. I don't want to be with anyone else but you. And you're
right, we should tell our parents. I can't change what I did, but I hope you
can forgive me. I know it won't happen right away." He watches my face as
my eyes glaze over. "Say something, please."

I stand up and turn around, pacing away so he can't see my
face. Fuck.
Fuck.
I slept with Logan last night. I thought this was
over. I thought Austen wanted it to be over. Now I'm the cheater. Logan and I
did much more than kiss, that's for sure.

"Cat?" I turn back and look at Austen, still
seated on the couch and leaning toward me apprehensively. He looks so
vulnerable. I've never seen him like this before. I can't break up with him
now. I can't hurt him like that.

"I forgive you," I whisper.

"What? Really?" he gasps, leaping up and stepping
toward me. "Oh, fuck, Cat, thank you. I've been down here all day trying
to summon the courage to show my face and trying to think about what to say to
you." He leans forward to kiss me.

"Wait," I stop him. "I don't think I'm ready
for that."

"Oh, right, of course," he murmurs, releasing me
and stepping back. "I get it. Take your time."

"Yes. Right. Well, thank you for being honest with me.
I think I…I have to go back upstairs now," I say almost robotically.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"No, yes. Just surprised. You know, a lot to
process."

"OK," he replies, watching me nervously. I back away
from him and then turn around and hustle up the stairs without looking back. I
flee back up to the second floor but stop in the hall as I see the light coming
from underneath Logan's door.

Logan.

He's waiting for me to come to him. I just betrayed him as
badly as I betrayed Austen. What the hell is wrong with me? I felt so sure of
what I was going to do earlier.

I step into my bedroom and shut the door behind me, then
reach up and lock it. I don't want Logan to come into my room, to see if I'm
alright or how the conversation went. I won't be able to look him in the eye.
I'd have no idea what to say.

I'm a coward, plain and simple.