Nameless Series Boxed Set (77 page)

She pulled him
down into a hard hug and held him as tightly as she could.

But her voice
was pitched slightly naughty as she whispered against his ear, “Thank
you
.”

***

“Are you mad?”

Erin asked the
question after a few minutes of lying in silence with Seth’s weight—hot and
heavy—on top of her.

Seth’s body
jerked so hard she gasped in response.

“No, of course
not,” he said gruffly, pulling up to look down at her face. “I was just…I
thought we were just…I thought you were…” His expression twisted in obvious
distress.

“No, no,” she
interrupted, realizing how he’d misunderstood her and feeling immediately
guilty for making him question the nature of their lovemaking earlier. “I
didn’t mean
that
. Actually, I think we should try caveman sex more
often—it was so good.” She lifted her head to kiss him and was relieved when
his face relaxed. “I just meant are you mad that I told Anna.”

Seth swallowed,
his blue eyes sober and oddly quiet. “No. We agreed you could tell the girls
four years ago.”

“I know. But I
didn’t. And maybe you started feeling safe—about that.” Her voice wavered
slightly, knowing she was verging on an intrusion into Seth’s privacy. Even
now, she didn’t push it very often, understanding how hard it was for him to
open up.

“I did feel
safe,” Seth admitted. “But you had every right to tell Anna. It’s your story as
much as mine.”

“I thought she
needed to know something,” Erin went on, squirming under Seth’s weight until he
pulled off her even more. Despite Seth’s easy acquiescence, she felt compelled
to explain herself. “I didn’t know if you’d be able to tell her that…that
deeper thing.”

Seth’s
expression changed and he gave her a familiar, dry look. “I wasn’t sure of it
myself. And you’re right. She needed an explanation.”

Erin felt her
heart melting a little, and she was pretty sure it was reflected in her face.

Obviously, it
was. Seth gave her a mild eye-roll. “Don’t get sappy.”

“I wouldn’t
dream of it,” Erin lied with a decidedly sappy smile. “I’m so glad you were
able to tell her. She needed to know. And she’ll always be as protective of the
knowledge as I am. She loves you.”

Seth’s smile
looked torn between matching emotion and irony. “She does, doesn’t she?”

“They both do.”

“No matter how
much I fuck up.” Guilt flickered over his face again, swallowing the warm
amusement.

“Stop it,” she
snapped, immediately defending Seth from himself. “Everyone fucks up. It’s what
you do right that makes the difference.” She pulled him into another hug. “And
you’ve been a wonderful daddy to them.”

Seth returned
her hug briefly and then rolled off her, propping himself up on his elbow and
looking down at her. “I haven’t been called daddy for a long time.”

Erin
immediately responded to his sudden nostalgia. Sometimes all she wanted was to
be “mommy” again, to be able to cradle her babies in her arms. But she fought
against the pull, reminding herself of how wonderful her life, her family,
everything was right now.

When her
self-lecture didn’t work as well as she’d hoped, she shook herself off and
hauled herself off the bed. “I’m going to take a shower. I’m feeling
rather…sticky.”

She made a face
at Seth—to let him know she blamed him for the stickiness—and then headed into
the bathroom.

She showered
quickly, not bothering to wash her hair. Then she toweled off and changed into
a soft tank and pajama pants set. It was getting late, and she was tired and
looking forward to going to bed.

She’d said
goodnight to the girls already and knew they were both in their bedrooms. She
liked the feeling—of knowing her whole family was safe and snug at home for the
night. She could never quite relax when they weren’t.

When she
reentered their bedroom, Seth had changed clothes too, now wearing only a pair
of low-slung gray pajama pants that made her want to sneak over, grab him by
the waist, and squeeze hard.

His back was
toward her, and he was looking at something on the writing desk in the corner.
He didn’t even hear her come out of the bathroom.

Curious, Erin
tiptoed over to him to sneak a peek at what he was doing.

Before she
reached him, Seth must have heard her approach. He hid what he’d been looking
at in a leather portfolio.

“What’s that?”
she asked brightly.

“Nothing.” He
smiled at her and tried to nudge her away from the desk. “You look like you’re
ready for bed.”

“Mm-hmm,” she
murmured, reaching toward the portfolio.

He moved it out
of her reach.

“Show me,” she
demanded, scowling at him.

“Mind your own
business.”

They had a
brief scuffle. Seth was stronger than her, but Erin refused to give up.
Eventually, Seth groaned in reluctant resignation, and she was able to snatch
the portfolio away from him.

She pulled out
a worn, wrinkled photograph—one that she immediately recognized.

It was a
picture of her and Mackenzie, taken seventeen years ago. Erin was sitting in a
rocking chair in the nursery of her old apartment—the “brown” nursery Seth
hadn’t been enthusiastic about—and holding up baby Mackenzie in her arms. Both
of them were smiling.

Erin felt her
heart swell with emotion as she realized what Seth had been doing in her
absence.

Staring at that
old photograph. The beginnings of his family.

Seth watched
her warily. “You’re not going to make a big deal about it, are you?”

She
intentionally kept her expression light. “Why would I make a big deal about it?
Except to mock you for being so sentimental.”

Seth narrowed
his eyes, his eyes searching her face with obvious suspicion.

Giving him a
casual smile, she said, “Turn off the light before you come to bed.” She went
over and crawled under the covers, feeling like something was shaking,
shuddering, pulsing inside her.

He switched off
the lamps and got into bed beside her, turning on his side to watch her in the
dark. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

“Of course.”

“For God’s
sake, baby,” Seth murmured thickly, brushing her hair back from her face in a
tender gesture. “You can say it.”

All the emotion
she’d been trying to stifle spilled out in a half-sob, half-choke. “I just
adore you!”

“That’s what I
thought,” he said with an ironic chuckle. “But just so you know, I don’t really
look at that old picture before bed every night. I was just thinking about
it—earlier.”

Of course he
had been thinking about it. They seemed to have fallen into the same nostalgic
mood.

Erin scooted
over until she was draped over him and pressed her mouth against his. They
kissed for a few minutes—softly and without any urgency.

Then Erin eased
herself down at his side and relaxed, resting her head on his shoulder. She
thought for a long time about her daughters, about her family, about the ways
it was changing.

Finally, she
burst out, “I want my babies back!”

Seth didn’t
even seem surprised. His hand was gently stroking her back. “You’ll always have
them.”

“They’re almost
grown-up,” she mumbled, feeling a strange pang of guilt for wanting time to
have stood still several years back.

“I know.” Seth
let out a rough sigh. “I don’t want them to grow up either.”

He’d bluntly
stated what she’d been too ashamed to admit.

She stifled
another sob with a laugh. “Listen to us. We’re so proud of them. And so afraid
they’ll grow up to be everything we’ve tried to make them.”

He didn’t
reply, but his hand tightened around her side.

“I suppose
every parent feels something similar.” Erin could remember so vividly when
Mackenzie had been tiny and stubborn, with a back as straight as her father’s.
And Anna with chubby cheeks and messy blonde hair and a purple nightgown that
always got hiked up at the back. They’d all piled in bed together—the most
secure feeling she’d ever known. Like having them all snug in the house at
night, but even better than that.

Never since had
Erin felt so perfectly happy.

“I want my
babies back,” she whispered as her eyes started to burn.

His voice
changed—grew soft, almost diffident. “You'll always have me.”

Erin leaned up
to him again and kissed him, comforted by his solid, unshakable presence.

Seth responded
to her kiss with more urgency than she expected. And when she pulled back he
gave her a smile in the dark. “We could always make another baby.”

She snorted.
“Now there’s an idea.”

“We could. If
you're feeling seriously baby-deprived.”

Erin was
strangely touched—that he’d offered this, that he was serious about the
suggestion, that he would consider anything to make her happy. “Tempting, but
no. I’m just sappy tonight. And honestly I don’t think I’m up to having babies
anymore. I’m pretty happy with my life as it is now.”

Seth chuckled.
“Me too. But I’m flexible.”

Erin got a good
giggle out of that and decided she was feeling a lot better now that her little
burst of emotion was over. “I think our family is pretty great as it is,” she
concluded. “Even if we’re going to have to get used to boys lusting after our
little girls.”

She said that
last thing mostly to tease him, and she wasn’t disappointed. Seth’s body
clenched up and he growled a little.

 “If any little
bastard has any such thoughts about my daughters,” he gritted out, “I’ll tear
his skin off. In strips.”

Erin burst out
in delighted laughter. “I never doubted it.” Then she sobered as she added,
“But really I think Anna and Mackenzie are far better prepared to make good
decisions than either of us ever were. They know they’re loved and they know
they’re not alone. I think we’ve done a good job with them.”

“I hope so.”

“I was thinking
earlier in the shower. I know it sounds kind of stupid, but the girls are like
our love has been made flesh. Our love brought to life.”

He didn’t
answer immediately.

“I told you it
sounded kind of stupid.”

“I don’t think
it’s stupid.”

She kissed his
shoulder again. “Maybe there’s something to it. And that’s thanks to you as
much as it is to me. You were wrong all those years ago. You were—and are—an
incredible father.”

Seth held her
eyes for a long time in the dark, his gaze deep and tender. “I never would have
been anything without you.”

She kissed him
again. Then they lay together, as close as they could get, until they started
to drift into sleep.

Wrapped up in
his body, she felt understood, loved, known completely, and she knew Seth felt
the same way.

There wasn’t
anything left to be said.

Claire has been writing romance novels since she was twelve
years old. She has a PhD in British literature and, when she's not writing, she
teaches English at the university level.

She also writes romance novels under the penname Noelle
Adams (
noelle-adams.com
). If you would
like to contact Claire, please check out her website (
clairekent.com
) or email her at
[email protected]
.

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