Nanny and the Professor (22 page)

But he's offered a way to change that, a silent voice beckoned for attention. Joshua offered a way to change your whole life.

She glanced toward the study, but she hadn't time to ponder the strange apprehension that filled her before the boys bounded into the kitchen shouting for breakfast.

Cassie avoided Joshua's study all morning long. But it was such a blatant evasion that she began to feel bugged by her behavior.

She'd baked a double batch of oatmeal-raisin cookies, and then after cleaning up the mess, she just about forced Andy and Eric into playing hide-and-seek with her in the yard. Finally the boys did everything short of coming right out and asking her to go into the house so they could play together.

The realization that she was procrastinating struck her just as the back screen door latched with a click. Why was she putting off going into the study to read the literature Joshua had left for her? Simply learning about the program didn't mean she was making any kind of commitment, or signing up for classes.

Completely fed up with herself, she took a quick glance over her shoulder at the boys and headed straight for the study.

She eased herself into Joshua's chair, the burgundy leather soft and supple with age. The mysterious, thoroughly male scent that was his alone permeated the chair, the desk, the very air of the room. Just being where he worked so much of the time, made her
feel
very close to him.

Cassie smoothed her palms over the desk top, then along the arms of the chair. Closing her eyes, she covered her mouth and nose with her hands and inhaled, slowly, deeply.

Joshua. She could smell him.
Could picture in her head his attractive, intelligent face.
Could almost feel his warm fingers touching her arms, his firm, moist lips kissing her throat, her jaw, her mouth.

Letting her head relax against the chair back, she tilted up her chin and trailed her fingers lightly down the sensitive skin under her jaw and down her neck, mimicking the movements Joshua might make if only...

It was such an easy thing for her to travel back in time to the night of the party– the night of their impassioned moments by the pond. The time she had spent in his strong arms would be an exquisite memory she'd cherish for the rest of her life. No matter how often she thought about it, she never got tired of reliving the feelings, both physical and intangible.

He had wanted her. She'd known it by the yearning she'd seen in his gaze, by the furious beating of his heart, by the granite hardness of his desire that had pressed so intimately against her palm, her hip.

The vivid memory made her gasp in heated response. Her eyes flew open and her head jerked upright.

Joshua may have wanted her at one time. But that was before he'd really known who she was, what she really was. And, now that he did know, he certainly didn't feel the same about her.

Cradling her forehead in her fingertips, she stared with unseeing eyes at the pile of papers and books he'd left on the desk for her. There was nothing she could do about how Joshua felt. The realization offered nothing but hopelessness.

With a dreary grayness weighing heavily on her emotions, she opened the information pamphlet and began to read about
New Jersey
's GED program. The classes she would need to take, she learned, would focus on math and language skills, science, history and a few other subjects. Passing the timed, day-long test would earn her a general education certificate.

The person who had given Joshua the information had included several books and a sample test. She opened the math book, spent some time slowly flipping through the pages, and was relieved to see that the skills were primarily basic. But she quickly became dismayed to see that knowledge of statistics would be necessary. She had none.

She looked up when she heard the back door bang shut. The boys began rummaging in the kitchen.

"We can make our own lunch," Eric called out to her.

"Yeah," Andy chimed in. "We got it covered, Cassie. And we won't make a mess."

Cassie couldn't help but smile at their budding independence before she dipped her head down and became once more immersed in the textbook.

She scanned the science book and felt her stomach tighten with doubt and apprehension at the thought of having to learn and memorize all these facts. She knew close to nothing about physical science.

After a while she rubbed her strained eyes and moved on to the history text. Although she'd never heard of most of the people mentioned, she became fascinated by the chronological events that changed the world. She recognized the names of many of the wars, but had never known the reasons behind most of them.

Time ticked by and she stretched her neck to relieve a crick. A glance at the clock let her know that, surprisingly, more than an hour had passed since she'd first sat down to read. Because she hadn't heard a peep from the boys since lunch, she left the study and went toward the back of the house to check on them.

The kitchen counter was cluttered with an open jar of mustard, a butter knife, the opened loaf of bread and some leftover slices of American cheese, now dried at the edges to a dark yellow.

"Won't make a mess, huh?" she grumbled wryly.

Pushing her way outside, she was ready to give Eric and Andy a good talking to about cleaning up after
themselves
. But once out on the back porch step, all she saw was an empty yard.

The garage door was open and she went there, although she didn't really expect the boys to be playing where she'd expressly forbidden them to.

She circled the garage, and then walked out toward the back of the large yard. There was no sign of the boys at the pool, its water a calm, clear blue. Stopping at the wrought-iron bench under the old oak tree, she scanned the grounds of the neighboring homes.

When she called the boys' names several times and didn't get an answer, the first stirrings of concern quivered in her chest.

"The house," she murmured to herself. "Check the house."

She jogged back the way she had come and went inside.

"Andy?" she called as she ran up the staircase. "Eric?"

The bedrooms were empty. She checked her room and then Joshua's, just to be thorough. Her jaw tightened as she rushed down the steps and completed a systematic search of the rest of the house. Her concern quickly turned to fear.

Where could they be? Her thoughts began to fly, dark and frantic. A thousand different situations bombarded her, each one more dangerous than the last.

She stood in the kitchen; the faint scent of mustard hung in the air. Should she call Joshua? No, she decided, the situation wasn't that dire... yet.

"They probably took a walk," she murmured aloud. She wondered if maybe Eric and Andy had called out their plans to her and she'd been too engrossed with the text books and the GED paraphernalia to hear.

They were probably out somewhere thinking that she knew where they were, thinking that she knew they were safe.

That's it. That's got to be it, she tried to tell herself.

But what if they were in some kind of trouble? The question hung over her like a heavy nimbus cloud ready to burst into a torrent of rain. Should she call the police?

What if they'd been taken from the yard?

"That's enough," she murmured to herself. There was no need to become irrational here. And there was no sign, no evidence whatsoever that anything
happened
other than the boys decided to take a walk, or go to the local baseball field. She wondered where that field might be.

Grabbing her car keys off the hook on the wall, she bolted for the door.

Cassie drove around the block, and then made a wider circle around the entire perimeter of the neighborhood. As the minutes ticked by, her dread grew and her brain wouldn't stop conjuring those horrible mental pictures of kidnappers and pedophiles. She'd never known she'd had such a wild imagination. If she didn't find those boys soon, she was going to go crazy!

On her third loop through the neighborhood, she spotted a playground. Her heart sang with happiness when she saw a group of boys playing baseball.

She parked the car, got out, and scanned the field. Her elation quickly subsided when she didn't see her boys, and then it dissolved altogether when she questioned the children and learned that Andy and Eric hadn't been there.

"Andrew Kingston wouldn't be here," one boy said. "He's not allowed to play with us."

The group of children resumed their game, and she thought of how Eric and Andy would enjoy joining them. Joshua had eased up enough on Andy's restrictions that he might soon allow Andy to come to the playground.

Cassie found herself smiling despite the worry knotting her insides.

She could easily imagine the lyrical, lighthearted laughter of Eric and Andy on their way to play ball with the other kids in the neighborhood.

"If nothing terrible has happened to them," she murmured, a worried ache squeezing her heart painfully.

She opened the car door and heaved a sigh as she slid behind the wheel. There was nowhere else to search. Bleakness smothered her and, hoping that maybe the boys had arrived back at the house by now, she drove home.

A faint tang of mustard wafted toward her when she entered the kitchen from the back door. The mess that the boys had left would have to be cleaned up, but it would just have to wait for now.

She was checking their rooms again when she thought she heard the front door open and close.

"Eric?" she called, rushing down the hallway. "Andy?" Her fingers skimmed the banister as she hurried down the steps. She stopped short when she rounded the corner into the large foyer and met Joshua.

"What is it? Is something wrong with the boys?"

The tender concern in his tone nearly made her burst into tears. But this was no time to let herself melt under pressure.

"I can't find them," she explained.

His brows drew together. "How long have they been gone?"

"A couple of hours."
She took her top lip between her teeth for a moment and then miserably confessed, "Maybe longer. I'm not exactly sure when they left."

He didn't ask for an explanation, he didn't have to. His countenance alone was enough to make Cassie stammer out a confused mixture of apologies and excuses.

As Joshua watched the deep anguish on Cassie's face and heard sincere regret color her tone, his heart wrenched with such agony that he could hardly focus on the words tumbling from her mouth.

Andrew and Eric were missing, that much he deciphered. But for the life of him, he couldn't connect how the GED program fit into all this.

He raised his hand to quiet her, and he was about to ask a few questions when that single moment of silence was interrupted with a loud crash coming from the garage.

"It sounds like they've come home," he said softly.

"Thank God!"

He followed Cassie through the hall to the kitchen and out to the garage. They rounded the corner, she a split second before him. Her gasp met his ears the same instant that his gaze fell on the boys– the mud-encrusted, dank-smelling boys.

"Are you all right?" he asked them.

Eric's chest puffed out proudly and he grinningly proclaimed, "We've had ourselves a Huck Finn adventure."

"Yeah, Dad," Andrew added, "we started building a fort over in the woods."

"Pierson's Woods?"
Joshua heard the incredulity in his own voice. "That's at least two miles from here."