He looked away, color blooming in his cheeks.
She shoved him again. “How long?”
His eyes glazed over. Good. She was glad he was hurting too. He deserved to hurt.
“I thought it would go away,” he said.
“How long?” She needed to know the truth. All of it.
“A few months.”
Her mind went back to the week before, when they’d gone to the beach for the day. To the week before that, when they’d shopped for a dress for the rehearsal dinner. To the time they’d gone bowling and laughed when she’d gotten five gutter balls in a row. All the memories from the past few months filed through her mind. All of them lies.
And now she’d lost Jared? Lost him to her cousin? The betrayal bit hard. It was too much. Too overwhelming to bear all at once. “Get out.”
“Sabrina.” He reached for her.
She flinched away. “Get out!” Her breath came hard and fast.
He stood, unmoving, hunched, for a moment. Then he walked away, toward the door. She heard the soft click of the latch settling into place.
The next six days had been a blur of pain, humiliation, and darkness. Aunt Bev had made most of the cancellations. Jaylee had made herself scarce, going to stay with her parents.
Now, a seagull called, landing a few paces away in the sand. A wave washed up, and the gull scurried up the beach. The sky was filling with golden light. She had to get home for a shower. Sabrina quickened her pace, falling into a swift jog. But she wondered if she’d ever run fast enough to escape the memories that haunted her.
Sweetpea: I don’t like surprises. I know a lot of people say that, but I really mean it. I do not like surprises.
A week later Sabrina was halfway up the stairs to her apartment before she saw the woman blocking her door.
“Surprise!” Arielle spread her arms wide.
Her cousin wore white shorts that set off her tan, and her long hair was captured in a sleek ponytail.
“Arielle.” Sabrina walked up the steps, taking in her cousin’s floral suitcase, which looked large enough for a wardrobe or two.
Arielle embraced her, rubbing Sabrina’s back. “Oh, it is so good to see you, cuz.”
Sabrina had missed the Southern accent. “This is a surprise.” An understatement.
A sudden thought sent a shiver of panic up her spine. What if Tucker saw Arielle? He would think she was Sweetpea. How long was Arielle staying? Sabrina had to keep her away from Tucker.
Arielle leaned back, propping both fists on her slim hips. “Well, it wouldn’t have been if you’d returned my calls.”
“Sorry about that.” Sabrina unlocked the door and flipped on the lamp. “Come in.”
Arielle rolled her suitcase over the threshold and shut the door. “Nice setup you got here, right on the beach. I met Mrs. Hannigan, but she didn’t feel right letting me in without your knowledge, and I didn’t want to call you—wanted it to be a surprise . . .” She struck a ta-da pose.
“Well, it certainly is.” Sabrina set down her bag and offered her cousin a drink.
“How’s your summer break going?” Sabrina asked after they were seated in the tiny living area.
“It’s half over already. I miss those little rug rats.” Arielle was born to teach preschool.
“You’ll be back to school before you know it.” A silence gathered between them. There was a white elephant in the room, and Sabrina was doing her best to ignore it.
“I guess you got the wedding invitation,” Arielle said.
So much for denial. “Of course.” Sabrina stood under the guise of turning on another lamp. “I’m not going, Arielle, so you can save your speech.”
Arielle started to speak, but Sabrina put her hand up, palm out.
“I know you mean well, but I’ve made up my mind. I’m glad you’ve come for a visit, but let’s be clear about this up front: I’m not going to the wedding.”
“We don’t have to talk about it today.”
“Or tomorrow or the next day. Because it’s futile.”
Arielle studied Sabrina’s face. Seeming to recognize her resolution, she turned and surveyed the room, running her hand along the back of the couch.
Sabrina perused the room with a fresh eye. She hadn’t done much to the place since she’d moved in. It looked barren and void of personality.
“Did you pick the wall color?”
Sabrina had never liked the dark green, but hadn’t cared enough to paint it. “It was that way when I moved in.”
“Depressing, don’t you think?” She peeked in the dining room. “I like the wood floors. Maybe I can help you with furniture placement while I’m here. The room lacks harmony. We’ll have you feeling better before you know it.”
“I feel fine.”
“Aren’t you going to ask about the family?”
“How’s the family?”
“You don’t have to be sarcastic.” Arielle’s smile softened her words. She squirmed on the sofa, clearly bothered. She seemed to shake the notion and continued, “Mom is wrapped up in the Miss Georgia Teen pageant. She’s on the board again. Dad’s traveling a lot still, but seems pretty happy with his work.” She paused, as if wondering if it was safe to bring up Jaylee. “And, well, you pretty much know the rest. I’m moving up to the four-year-olds next year, so I’ll have the same kiddos I had this year.”
What Sabrina really needed to know was how long Arielle was staying. She was glad to see her cousin. She just didn’t want Tucker to see her. Sabrina checked her watch. She was due at Tucker’s in a couple hours.
“Am I keeping you from something? I don’t want to rearrange a thing while I’m here—except maybe your furniture. I did just drop in, after all.” Her jaw relaxed slightly, her lip dropping. “It is okay that I’m here, isn’t it?”
Even with the pouty frown, Arielle was adorable. Sabrina wondered if she had any idea how lucky she was. “Of course it’s okay.” She’d missed Arielle. Hadn’t known how much until she’d seen her in front of the door. “I do have a part-time evening job though, so I won’t be home much. How long can you stay?”
Please not long
, she thought, then felt guilty.
Arielle shrugged her tanned shoulders. “I’m free as a bird for another month. I booked a flight back in about four weeks—I hope that’s okay.”
A whole month? Sabrina pasted a smile on her face. How would she keep Arielle out of town that long? Nantucket wasn’t that big, and she didn’t want to consider what would happen if Tucker recognized her.
Sweetpea: I’m a little bit stubborn.
Harbormaster: No kidding.
Sabrina didn’t notice when the rain began. Her eyes glued to Tucker’s computer screen, she’d been absorbed in the messages that had flown between them several months ago. Focused on her new plan.
Only when a clap of thunder pealed did she glance out the office’s bay window and see the sheets of rain pouring into the harbor.
Ordinarily, she loved a good downpour, loved the smell of rain, the sound of it on the roof. But today she’d ridden her bike to Tucker’s, and the rain didn’t look like it was letting up anytime soon.
Deciding to call it an evening, Sabrina shut down the program and gathered her things. When she entered the living room, Tucker was in the corner, carving a piece of wood that didn’t yet resemble anything. He smiled as she entered the room, lowering his tool.
“I’m finished for the night,” she said. “Can I use your phone?” If she could call a cab before Tucker offered her a ride, she wouldn’t risk him seeing Arielle. Why hadn’t she brought her cell phone?
“Something wrong?”
A crack of thunder sounded in the distance. “I need to call a cab.”
Don’t offer. Please don’t offer.
She picked up the phone, then realized she’d have to look up the number. The phone book sat on the table under the phone.
He set down the block of wood. “I’ll give you a lift.”
She flipped open the yellow pages. “No, don’t worry about it.” While she waited for the cab, she could initiate her plan.
He stood. “Really, I don’t mind.”
There were too many cab companies to choose from. She picked one and dialed. “It’s okay.” She imagined him pulling up to her apartment at the same time Arielle arrived home. The thought sent a shiver of dread through her.
He took the phone from her and turned it off.
Why’d he have to be so persistent? She glared at him. “Why’d you do that?”
“It’s pouring rain. Every tourist in town is calling for a cab, and you’ll have a two-hour wait.” He grabbed his keys from the table, then turned, giving her a look she couldn’t decipher. “Unless you want to hang around for a couple more hours.”
The thought was more tempting than he’d ever know. What choice did she have now?
Huffing, Sabrina headed toward the door. Anyway, what were the chances he’d see Arielle? It was pouring rain. She was probably taking a warm bath by now, or snuggled on the couch, watching the latest chick flick.
As soon as Tucker packed her bike in the trunk and backed the car from the drive, the rain let up. Naturally.
“How far are you with the letters?” he asked.
She’d just come to the one where she’d confided about her dad’s death. He was the only person other than Jared whom she’d told. But she didn’t want to talk about that. “Lots of back-and-forth stuff.”
“She’s fun to dialogue with.” Sabrina could hear the smile in his voice. “Has a great sense of humor, don’t you think?”
No one had ever told her that before. But then, she didn’t let loose around just anyone. “You think?”
He propped one hand on the console between them, inches from her thigh. “She has a sarcastic streak a mile wide. A dry sense of humor.”
Sabrina shifted away. “I suppose.” The wipers arched across the windshield.
“She’s witty and intelligent, has a great vocabulary . . .”
He was hitting too close to home. “I didn’t notice.” Her throat was dry as dirt.
He grinned, stealing her breath with that crooked smile. “That’s because you have a great vocabulary.”
In town there were tourists clustered under awnings, waiting for the rain to stop.
Tucker braked as a man and woman darted across the road. The man slung his arm around the woman, and they laughed as they ducked through the rain. Sabrina wondered if the couple was as happy as they seemed.
She remembered how it felt to be wrapped in a man’s arms. To feel secure and loved. She missed that.
“I contacted the host of Nantucket Chat,” Tucker said. “Did I mention that?”
“What for?”
Tucker accelerated through the crosswalk. “He knows the identity of all the members. When you sign up to participate, you have to give your name and contact information.”
Why hadn’t she thought of that? “What did he say?”
“He said the information is confidential.”
She started breathing again. “That’s too bad.”
“I haven’t given up yet. You still have a few months of messages to wade through, and there’s always the chance she’ll change her mind, right?”
She folded her arms around her stomach. “Actually, I think I may have found some significant details.”
“Really?”
“The clues are spread apart, but I think she might be from Ohio.”
“Really?”
Why was her heart beating so fast? “She mentions being a Reds fan, and she said something about the Cincinnati airport being in Kentucky. Most people wouldn’t know that, right? And she mentions a pretzel festival. I looked it up online, and there’s one in Germantown, Ohio, every September.”
“There are probably pretzel festivals in other states.”
“Maybe, but like I said, it’s the cumulative factor. The Reds, the airport, the festival. There are other tidbits that go along with the Ohio theory, too, and nothing to contradict it so far.” Of course, Ohio was plenty big, and there weren’t enough clues to pin down a particular city. When she was finished, he’d see they were at a dead end.
“There’s the beach photo,” he said.
She was ready for that one. “It may have been a lake. The waves were small. It could be Lake Erie or any number of lakes. It could also have been taken while she was on vacation.”
He pulled into her drive. “I guess you’re right.”
“So we should definitely focus on Ohio. Maybe I can pin it down to a city as I read further.” Sabrina looked at her apartment window. The blinds were up, but the living room was dark except for the faint glow of the TV.
Stay away from the window, Arielle.
The gravel popped under the tires as Tucker pulled the car to a stop and put it in Park. She reached for the handle. The sooner she got him out of there, the better.
“Wait.” He set his hand on her forearm.
She turned and faced him. His palm was warm on her wrist, the heat of it sizzling a path up her arm. She waited for him to say something, afraid and eager at the same time.
“Thanks for what you’re doing. I appreciate your help and your confidentiality.”
“No problem.” She glanced at her apartment. So far, so good. The rain was merely a drizzle now.
He was still holding her arm. She wondered what he’d do if she turned her hand over and twined her fingers through his. She itched to do it. Would he return the touch? She longed to be connected to him. Letters only allowed so much intimacy. She missed the personal contact. The touching. The security of an embrace. Would it be so awful to take the risk and see what happened?
But even as the thought formed, a memory rose, unbidden. A foreign touch, the smell of alcohol, the chill of a cold sheet.
Sabrina knotted her hand into a fist.
Tucker’s hand slid down to hers, and he squeezed her closed fist. “You okay?”
She nodded, finding her voice. “Just tired.” She glanced up at the window. A light came on. She looked at Tucker, but he was studying her hand. Thank God he hadn’t seen.
“You always wear this.” His fingers found the
S
charm on her bracelet.
The bracelet had once been a symbol of love. Now it was a reminder of loss. A tangible warning that some risks weren’t worth the cost.
Sabrina pulled her hand away. “It was a gift.” She pressed her lips together. She needed to get out of there before she said too much. Before she ruined what progress she’d made tonight. She reached for the handle and opened the door.