Arielle had followed her to the kitchen. “Out with it. Who’s this Tucker guy, and why did you say I’ve been writing him for a year?”
Sabrina sighed. “Let’s sit down.”
“It’s that bad?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
They sat at the kitchen table. Sabrina looked out the window, where dark clouds hung low over the ocean. The water chopped and churned beneath them, an angry, moving canvas. Despite the day’s beautiful start, a storm was brewing. She hoped Tucker was off the water.
“You’re Sweetpea,” Arielle said. “Why did you tell that guy it was me?”
“I’ll get to that. Sheesh. Let me start at the beginning.” It was the only way to make her cousin understand the importance of what she was about to ask.
“This should be good.” Arielle crossed her arms and cocked her head.
Not a great start.
Just get it over with.
Sabrina stalled with a sip of tea, then told Arielle about the start of her relationship with Harbormaster. She told Arielle how stunned she was to discover Harbormaster was Tucker from the café. And then came the first hard part.
“After he sent his own photo, I didn’t know what to do,” Sabrina said. “I couldn’t send my photo or he’d know it was
me.
”
Arielle’s face softened. “What’s so bad about that? He probably would’ve been delighted. You could’ve started dating.”
Sabrina shook her head. “You don’t understand.”
“Then explain it.”
“I’m not like you. He wouldn’t have been delighted. He would’ve been disappointed.”
Arielle started to interrupt, but Sabrina waved her off. “And I didn’t want that anyway. I
don’t
want that.”
“Don’t want what?”
“A relationship. I’m done with that.”
“You can’t be done with relationships, Sabrina. They’re part of life.”
“Well, they’re not part of my life. And I like it that way.”
Liar.
Well, maybe
like
was too strong a word. It was safer that way, that’s what she’d meant.
“But you have a relationship with him, whether you call it that or not.”
“A relationship at a safe distance. I can handle that.”
Arielle shook her head. “We’ll get back to that later. So he sent a photo and you didn’t reciprocate. What happened next?”
Back to that. How could she say it? It seemed so harmless at the time. She never intended for Arielle to know or be involved. How was she to know that—
“Sabrina?”
“Well, I couldn’t send my picture, and he wanted a photo and . . .”
“And . . . ?”
Sabrina licked her lips, gone suddenly dry, like someone had sucked all the moisture from the air. “Remember that photo you sent me? The one of you on the beach in Florida . . . ?” Her voice got smaller as the sentence dragged out.
Arielle’s countenance changed. Her eyes widened; her jaw went slack. She sucked in a breath and held it, frozen. “You didn’t.”
“It gets worse.”
Arielle’s eyes slowly narrowed. “Could it possibly?”
She slumped in her seat. “Unfortunately.” How could she have deceived him like that? And yet, wasn’t she planning to cover her deceit with another lie? Her Aunt Bev’s words danced through her mind:
“What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”
“Go on.” Arielle was glaring now.
This wasn’t looking good. Not good at all. What was she going to do if Arielle refused to cooperate? What possible reason could she give Tucker for bringing the woman here only to have her disappear again?
One step at a time.
“About six weeks ago, Tucker approached me after work and asked if he could hire me to find the woman he’s been writing.”
“What? Why would he ask you?”
“He’d been talking to Renny, and she was raving about how intuitive I am. Of course, she was talking about her stories and how I help her with the clues. Tucker thought if I read the letters, I could piece together enough facts to locate this woman.”
“How ironic.”
“I tried to dissuade him for all the obvious reasons. I tried to convince him that if she didn’t want to be found, it was best to leave it alone. But he was determined. And I thought—well, if I could pretend to try and find her—me—and fail . . .”
“And he’s paying you for this?”
Sabrina felt heat creep into her face. All right, it was wrong. But he’d backed her into a corner. “I’ve been donating his money to Nantucket Soundkeeper.”
“Oh, that makes it all right.”
“I know, I know!” Did Arielle have to beat her with it? She already felt like slime. “I didn’t know what else to do. He was going to hire someone else if I said no, and I couldn’t risk that.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You couldn’t understand, Arielle.”
“Does this have something to do with Jared and Jaylee?”
“I don’t want to talk about that.” Sabrina took a swig of tea.
“Everyone gets hurt sooner or later. You have to pick yourself up and have some hope.”
Sabrina wasn’t going there. She’d already hashed it out a hundred times in her own mind, and it was settled. Besides, there was a far more compelling reason that prevented her from telling Tucker the truth now, but she couldn’t tell Arielle about that.
“You don’t have to understand,” Sabrina said. “Just try and understand that this relationship is special to me. Too special to lose.”
“Then let it become all it was meant to be. Tell him who you are.”
Sabrina stood, her chair scraping against the ceramic. “No.” Her breath caught at the thought of him knowing. At the thought of him realizing who she was and what she’d done. Eventually he would introduce her to his sister, and everything would be ruined.
Arielle took her hand. “What are you so afraid of?”
She had to get back on topic. She wasn’t going into this with her cousin. “I’ve already set the plan in motion. I’ve nearly finished reading the messages, and I was going to inform him next week that it’s hopeless, that there aren’t enough clues for anyone to locate her.”
Sabrina walked into the living room and plopped on the couch that Arielle had moved against the wall. “I didn’t anticipate you coming here, and I certainly didn’t anticipate Tucker seeing you.”
Arielle approached, sitting on the edge of the sofa next to Sabrina. “I’m sorry for that.” Her voice gentled, “But maybe this was God’s doing. Maybe this will force you to do what you should have done to begin with.”
How did God get in the middle of this? “I’m not telling him who I am.” She drove the words home with her eyes. Arielle needed to understand how adamant she was. She wouldn’t lose this relationship.
“We write every night. Usually about nothing, but sometimes we talk about serious things. About politics and previous relationships and our deepest fears. I depend on him. I never meant to let that happen.” She begged her cousin to understand. “If I tell him who I am, I’ll lose him. And I can’t bear that. I just can’t.” Her eyes burned, and she felt tears welling up.
“Oh, honey.” Arielle embraced her, rubbing her back.
Sabrina blinked back the tears. She wouldn’t have to lose Tucker. She could still salvage this mess if only she could convince Arielle to do this one tiny thing for her.
Sabrina pulled back and wiped the corner of her eye with her knuckle.
“So, what now?” Arielle asked.
Funny you should ask.
Sabrina folded her hands in her lap. “I was hoping you’d agree to see him.”
Arielle leaned back. “You are not asking what I think you are.”
“A few dates and it’ll be time for you to leave.”
“A
few
dates!”
“It won’t be hard. You know me well. Just pretend to be me.”
Sabrina tried for a grin. “It’s not like he’s hard on the eyes.”
“That’s hardly the point!”
Arielle’s indignation resurrected the guilt in Sabrina. Not only had she fabricated a lie, but she was asking her cousin to perpetuate it. Arielle had always had a high code of honor. So had Sabrina before all this. Before Nantucket. Before Jared. What had happened? How had her life spun so far off track?
“I know it’s a lot to ask,” Sabrina said.
“I don’t leave for two and a half weeks. How can I go out with this guy and pretend to be something I’m not? I can’t do it.”
Why couldn’t her cousin see how much it meant to her? What had Sabrina ever asked of Arielle? “You mean you
won’t
do it.”
Arielle stared, eyes wide. “I’m not the one who started this charade.”
“And I’m not the one who showed up here uninvited.” Sabrina regretted the words the moment she said them.
Arielle’s eyes turned down at the corners, a mirror image of her mouth. She slowly stood.
She should say something. Maybe she should apologize, but she was still angry. It was selfish of Arielle not to do this one thing for her. She had to know how important it was.
“I’m going for a walk.” Arielle headed out the door, shutting it hard.
Sabrina heard her cousin’s sandals thudding down the wooden steps. Across the room, the logo on the screen saver darted across the computer screen. Tucker would expect to hear from her, expect to see her—Arielle. She checked her watch. He’d be home soon. What should she do? What if he called—or worse, came over?
Why did this have to happen? Why did Arielle have to come? Why did she have to show up at the café just when Sabrina was ready to wrap everything in a nice, tidy bow?
Sweetpea: Have you ever felt like you just weren’t enough?
Sabrina turned and pulled the blanket over her shoulders. A thick wedge of moon brightened the sky, illuminating the tree outside the window, and a gentle breeze ruffled the sheers. The air smelled of rain and salt from the storm. How long had she been lying here? An hour? Two? She refused to look at the clock for confirmation.
Her only consolation was the squeak of the sofa bed in the living room as Arielle tossed and turned. At least Sabrina wasn’t the only one kept awake by the argument. Then she felt guilty for the thought. Really, what had Arielle done wrong? She’d inadvertently stepped into Sabrina’s mess.
But would it kill her to help me?
Tucker must be wondering why she hadn’t called or written. But if he’d been so eager to meet Sweetpea, why hadn’t he contacted her? Surely he was eager to see Arielle.
Especially now that he’s seen her in person.
Maybe she could fabricate a family emergency that called Arielle away. Still, that wouldn’t prevent him from wanting to know where she lived. And if she’d come to the island for the express purpose of meeting him, why wouldn’t she disclose her address?
She turned again, tugging at the sheet that had bunched around her legs and tangled with her feet. Arielle’s words haunted the corridors of her mind.
“Everyone gets hurt sooner or later. You have to pick yourself back up and have some hope.”
If only it were so simple. There was no hope where Tucker was concerned. Not when it came to a real relationship. She’d sealed that fate her first week on the island.
“Sabrina?”
Her eyes snapped open. Arielle stood in the doorway, dimly lit by the moon.
“Are you awake?” her cousin whispered.
Sabrina rolled onto her back and checked the time. She’d been awake for two hours. “Yeah.”
Arielle entered the room, and Sabrina scooted over as she eased down on the bed’s edge.
“I can’t stand for things to be like this between us,” Arielle said. She’d stayed out past dark, and by the time she’d returned, Sabrina was in bed.
“Me either.”
They sat quietly, listening to the wind rustle through the leaves. Somewhere in the distance, a dog barked. Sabrina loathed the guilt that pricked her conscience, but she deserved it. She’d created this mess. Although she wished Arielle would help, it wasn’t her cousin’s responsibility.
“I’m sorry I got angry,” Sabrina said. “I didn’t mean what I said about you being uninvited.”
“I’m sorry too.”
Thunder rolled in the distance, and raindrops hit the roof, first in loud dollops, then in a steady patter. Sabrina got up and pulled the sash until it clicked in place, then crawled back under the covers.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do about Tucker,” Sabrina said finally.“But it’s my problem, not yours.” Maybe it was going to blow up in her face. If she told Tucker Arielle had to leave the island, maybe he’d give up on the relationship. Maybe she’d never hear from him again.
She envisioned coming home to an empty inbox, no letter asking how her day had been. Tried to imagine her evenings without their back-and-forth conversations. Could she go back to that kind of life? That kind of loneliness?
“The thing is, I have an idea,” Arielle said.
Hope sprouted a tiny seed. At least someone had an idea. “Let’s hear it.”
“I don’t think you’re going to like it.”
“Like I have so many appealing options.”
“True.” Arielle shifted toward her, pulling her feet onto the bed and wrapping her arms around her knees. “The way I see it, we both want something. I was thinking we could make a deal.”
It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Arielle was saying. “The wedding.”
“If you agree to go to the wedding, and
be nice
. . . I’ll go out with Tucker.”
They’d both have to don some serious acting skills. Sabrina would have to pretend she approved of Jaylee and Jared’s relationship, and Arielle would have to pretend to be Sabrina.
She didn’t want to go to the wedding. Didn’t want to see Jaylee. And she especially didn’t want to see Jared.
But what about Tucker?
Is it worth losing him over? Can’t you bury your pride for one event? Just hold your head up and stick it out?
Fear was such an ugly thing.
“What do you think?” Arielle asked.
“You know this doesn’t change anything. My going to the wed-ding—”
“I know.”
She knew what Arielle was thinking. That if Sabrina saw their family, everything would fix itself. Maybe it would. Maybe that’s why Sabrina was afraid to go home.
But in all fairness she was asking Arielle for a huge favor. It was a fair trade. “You’ll be here for another two and half weeks. Tucker will expect to see you a lot.” As it was, he’d wonder why she hadn’t called tonight. “Maybe six or seven dates?”