Authors: Alie Infante
As I walked through the tall oaks, my mind went to a summer day many years ago.
I was thirteen, he was sixteen.
“Ye shall be my wife someday.” He
declared puffing out his chest, his blue eyes sparkling, and I laughed.
“How do you even
discern that I care for you?” I countered, then turned my head as if I had just smelled something sour.
“
Because ye kissed me.” He grinned, and I frowned.
“Oh that
...it meant nothing to me. You are daft, if you think it did.” I said, he frowned, then snatched me to him and kissed me this time. It was a kiss; unlike I have ever received since in my life, except from him. Truly, I could directly testify it was at that very instant I fell in love with him.
When he drew back, my eyes widened.
“Tell me now; ye have no sentiment for me.” He whispered grinning, and we both laughed.
I saw something ahead of me that brought me back
to my reality.
It moved between the trees, I gasped and hurried around the back end of the house, as I saw the sun was setting.
When I reached the veranda, he was sitting on the swing, glass and cigarillo in hand.
“
At long last, she returns.” He stated stamping out the cigarillo, and I could deduce he was already well into his cups.
“Go home Benny, you are quite
intoxicated.” I snapped as I walked up the stairs, but he surged to his feet and blocked the doorway.
“No, not until ye
convey the truth.”
“And what
certainty is that?” I asked frowning up at him.
“That ye love me, and
continuously have damn it.”
“I
ceased loving you the day you permitted Maribel and her cousin to do what they did.”
“How can ye
fault me for that? I stood for ye, I even informed her and the world over that I loved ye?” He cried, and I was taken back as I looked up at him.
I had no notions
he had done that, however, it did not matter now.
My mind went back to that day,
almost fourteen years ago.
I
was not a slave, and had never been regarded as such on this plantation. I had no notions that the world was as corrupt as it was, because glimpsing in reverse now, I could distinguish that both my father and grandmother made certain I did not. When I first met Benjamin, I was quite taken with him. He spoke French, as well as four other languages. That first summer, I was 11, and followed him about as if I were a vagrant dog. He seemed so sophisticated to me, and very striking as well.
We became
immediate friends, because he said he could not fathom how one man thought it was his entitlement to possess another. He made me laugh, but had a very studious and solemn characteristic to him as well.
He taught me Thoreau, and I taught him to
dance.
He taught me Descartes and Kant, and I taught him to swim.
Granny said it was as if we were fixed firmly at the hips. If ever his father were searching for him, Granny would point towards the pond, and say my name. I liked Mr. Waverly Senior as well. He was a jovial sort of man, and made it his place to continually make those in the vicinity of him laugh.
Granny loved
Benjamin as well, and each year, I felt the friendship growing, shifting to something else.
When he was fifteen, he declared his love for me, but I laughed and told him he was just
addled. He later went to town with Mr. Waverly Senior, and brought back a ring; two hands joined in a pledge of love, slipped it on my finger, then vowed that he would love me for all eternity.
I was touched, as he sealed his pledge with a kiss. When he
traveled back to England, I refused to tell anyone why I was so melancholy, except, I somehow knew my Granny knew exactly what was amiss with me.
The year he turned sixteen, his father
conveyed him again for the summer, and I was astounded at how masculine he had become. He was several inches taller, and had filled out in a manly physique. The first thing he did was to wrench me off, and declare his love for me again, with several kisses to demonstrate it.
We were inseparable, until the night of the Dubios’ ball. Since I
was not the normal colored, this was New Orleans, and because the entire town knew whom my father truly was, when the Dubios’ sent the invitation to the ball, naturally, my father would allow Granny and myself to attend.
I was having
an impressive time of it, dancing, drinking my fair share of wine, when he pulled me outside to the veranda, to steal a kiss. It was at that point, Maribel and her malicious cousin Theia from Mississippi invaded our small sanctum.
The
ia laughed, pointing, and we broke apart.
“Surely, you can
not be smitten with a nigger?” Theia cried, and I noticed Benjamin’s face turned crimson.
“
Guard yer mouth.” He spat, and she laughed even more.
“Father says that they are no better than the cows in the barn.
I daresay how can you truly love something so dumb. But then I presume, it would be the same affection, one might have for their favorite pet.” Theia stated laughing, and I felt as if all life drained from me, when I saw the look in Benjamin’s eyes.
“I daresay Ginny isn’t like them. Why her very own father is Mr. Jones, how can you say such things Theia?” Maribel cried looking at me, and I could see her face was
just as crimson.
“Just because one ruts with animals, does
not mean they have to be indulged as human. She is an artifact of an abomination, not even worthy of your compassion! Filthy coloreds integrating with whites, why it is disgusting to boot! How you could even surmise that she is anything like us, is quite unfathomable Mari, just look at her! Moreover, you Benjamin, believing that she is anything but, is quite preposterous. Not to mention, what the devil is wrong with the Dubios inviting a slave in the first place. Lands sake, you Nworlens folk are just plumb addled.” Theia cried, and I bit my lip to keep it from trembling.
I looked to Benjamin for some semblance of acknowledgement that what was happening was wrong, but t
he look he gave me was one of embarrassment, and shame.
I dropped the wine glass, then ran from the veranda, towards home.
“Ginny!” He yelled, but I kept running, the tears clouding my vision. “Ye are an evil wench Theia, and a heartless childish bitch to boot! Albeit, she may be half-colored, but in appearance and heart, she will permanently surpass ye!” Benjamin retorted with such contempt, that both girls took a step back, as he brushed past them to go into the ballroom.
I looked up at him now, and the feelings from that night
rushed up from somewhere deep inside, as I reached for the door.
“No, ye will not
saunter away from me again Geneviève! I was sixteen years old then, ye cannot possibly deem me accountable for what transpired involving children.”
“Yes I can, I loved you
! More than anything in this world, and you cleaved my heart from my chest then trampled it!” I screamed up at him as the tears came, and he snatched me to him, kissing me to the point that a heat surged throughout my entire body.
“And ye love me
yet at present, confess it. I cannot eat, reason directly or purpose without ye on my mind. What I experienced as a lad has been augmented to the position of not being able to behave properly when I am not with ye.” He whispered harshly, as he picked me up, and we slammed into the closed door.
“You
injured me.” I cried, as his lips traveled the length of my throat, then back to my lips.
“And I am
attempting to mend that, if ye would merely permit me. I was a boy, who discerned nothing truly of love, desire or affection then. I need ye, because I do now.” He swore, his hand gripped me tighter, holding me against the door, as his other hand came up to caress my face.
“And what
transpires subsequently Benny?” I moaned as his head dropped, he drew the skin in the very hollow of my throat into his mouth, and it sent a sensation so strong through my body, my other regions tightened.
“There will be no
subsequently Ginnybean, if ye’d have only delayed, ye’d have seen how it genuinely finished.” He cried, as he drew his lips to mine, and kissed me deeply.
Someone cleared his or her throat, he put me down releasing me, and I could feel my face turn scarlet, as Isaiah stood there with a slight grin on his face.
“Sir, Abel has need of you; Mr. Charles is in the parlor with the constable.” Isaiah said, he nodded, then looked at me.
“Ginny…”
“No.” I rebuffed, went through the door, then closed it behind me.
Benjamin frowned at the door, then at Isaiah.
“Bloody rotten timing Isaiah, please remember that.” He hissed at Isaiah, he nodded swallowing hard, then followed Benjamin to the big house.
Big
House…
When Benjamin reached the house, he frowned as he came into the parlor, and
they both stood.
The constable was holding a contract, and Mr. Charles gave him a sinister smile.
“I hold in my hand, a contract for one Geneviève Marié Basile. The monies due to Madame Soleil have been remunerated by Mr. Jean Morrow, so she is now indebted to him.” The constable smiled, Benjamin frowned, then walked to the desk at the far right end corner of the room. He retrieved the paper, then smiled as he held it up to the constable.
“I am at a loss as to how that can be, when I have compensated Madame nearly three days ago
for the entire tally.
Mmm
Basile, has no balance with Madame, because it has already been paid in full. I am also not quite sure what the meaning of this is.” The constable looked up from the bill shocked, then frowned as he saw the fury replace the smile on Mr. Charles face.
“Let me see!”
Mr. Charles hissed, then snatched the bill from Jefferies.
As
he went over it, his entire body began to tremble with rage. He looked at Benjamin, tore up the proof of payment, then tossed it to the floor. Benjamin laughed, then took a seat as Abel handed him a glass of wine.
“That is neither here nor there. I have witnesses, that
Madame has procured her payment in full.” Benjamin stated looking at the constable, and he nodded frowning.
Mr. Charles shoved Jefferies out his way, then stormed from the parlor.
“Good evening.” The constable said tipping his hat, as he hurried after Mr. Charles.
“That will not end well.” Bartholomew stated, and Benjamin nodded.
“That it shall not.”
“And have ye made any headway with
Geneviève?” Bartholomew asked him grinning, and Benjamin’s frown deepened, as he shook his head.
“No,
and I am afraid I made a complete arse of myself several nights ago, so she is still insisting on this separation.” He wailed as he got up, then drained his wine glass.
“Now I understand the lack of commitment with Madison.” Bartholomew said, and Benjamin turned to look at him, givin
g him a slight smile as he plopped into the armchair.
“Yes, I have been
haplessly in love with Ginny since I was a lad.” He returned, and Bartholomew smiled, then frowned.
“And how does she feel for ye?” Bartholomew questioned, and Benjamin sighed.
“She loves me as well; however, she is reluctant to say it. We have a speckled past, one that I am the cause of.”
“
How so?” Bartholomew asked, Benjamin sighed, then commenced to explain why.
“My word, and yet she still loves ye?” Bartholomew inquired frowning when Benjamin was done.
“I was just a lad Bart, I rectified the situation, only she’d run off already. I endeavored for three days to get her to take note of my side of it, but she would not, then Tobias sent her off with Adèle, for weeks, and by the time she was due back, father had already booked passage.”
“And ye never returned after that?” Bartholomew solicited frowning now as well, and Benjamin shook his head.
“No, I supposed I had done enough injury to her, and she would be improved without me. However, I have never been able to cease to love her, for more than a moment.” Benjamin muttered as he looked away from Bartholomew.
“Then ye need to make
amends mate.” Bartholomew cried, and Benjamin gave him a look.
“What the bloody hell do ye
imagine I’ve been trying to do since I realized it was her Bart? I knew there was something familiar about her from the moment I laid eyes on her. As fanciful as it may ring out, I knew she was the one I would adore eternally, when I was sixteen, and I told her I loved her. Had it not been for Maribel and her bloody cousin, she would have been mine.” Benjamin wailed as he got up from the chair and went to the bar.