Nash (7 page)

Read Nash Online

Authors: Jay Crownover

I nodded. “She is.”

“Sucks she doesn’t dig you.”

I blew out a breath. “I guess. It’s not like I’m in the market for a girlfriend anyway.”

“Why the hell not?”

It was a familiar argument we had now. Ever since he had decided Shaw was it for him, he was on my

case to settle down, to find the one girl that would make me think love actually stood a chance and that

monogamy was worth trying out. While I was happy for him, for all my friends that had found “the one,” I

just didn’t see that being the route for me. When my mom had tossed me aside for her idiot husband under

the guise of love, I knew even at such a young age that was not something I was ever going to do. Love

someone enough that they made me willing to sacrifice the rest of my life for them. I liked being single,

liked having the opportunity to experience different women, different moments with different people

whenever I wanted. I didn’t need a girlfriend to be fulfilled, nor did I really want one.

“Dude, I just found out my uncle is really my dad, he has cancer, and my best friend is fucking getting

married in less than a month. Not to mention my pseudo big brother is expecting his first child. You tell me

where in any of that I have the time or the mental capacity to try and be some chick’s boyfriend.”

He grunted and pulled the truck into the parking lot of the hospital. I felt my heart rate start to pick up

and a cold sweat start to trickle down the back of my neck. We climbed out of the truck and met at the front

of it. Rule gave me a hard shove with his hand and grunted when I dug the point of my elbow into his ribs

to retaliate.

“That’s the thing, Nash, you aren’t ‘some girl’s’ boyfriend, you’re ‘
the
girl’s’ boyfriend and when it’s


the
girl’ you find the time for it, and you get your head around it really quick because the idea of being

without her is about the worst thing you can imagine.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just kept my mouth shut and followed him through the sliding

glass doors and to the elevator. Unconsciously my gaze searched the long white hallways for a glimpse of

fiery-red hair. I didn’t see her and I couldn’t decide if that made me feel relieved or irritated.

We got to the top floor of the hospital where the oncology unit was located and I had to follow Rule

because I didn’t know which room Phil was in. Man, I really did suck and I wanted a damn cigarette so bad

it was making my skin hurt. The door was cracked just a little bit and Rule stepped to the side.

“Go in there and spend some time with the guy that raised you. He might have called you his nephew,

Nash, but he always treated you—hell, all of us—like his sons. I’ll give you a few minutes before I come

in.”

I nodded jerkily.

I took a deep breath and pushed the door open. The curtains were pulled slightly open and the winter

light was casting eerie shadows across Phil’s fragile form. He had always been a big, strapping guy, and

now that I knew he was my father I could see all the similarities between him and me. It was so much more

than our unusual eye color. He lifted his eyelids and looked at me. I wanted to shuffle my feet and clear my

throat, but I didn’t. I walked to the end of the bed so that we were just watching each other. He was so thin

and his pallor looked awful.

I rubbed my thumb along the edge of my jaw and tried for a grin. “You scared the hell out of me, old

man.”

He grunted and lifted the hand that had some kind of monitor on it attached to miles of wires and tubes

coming out of him.

“I was tired of all the poking and prodding. I wasn’t going to spend Thanksgiving in a goddamn

hospital. I just needed to get away. I didn’t know I was sick, I thought it was just a cough.”

“Just a cough?” I couldn’t help the bitterness that crept into my tone. “I thought you were dead when I

saw you lying on the floor of the cabin. Do you have any idea what that did to me?”

“I’m sorry, Nash. For all of it. I’ve made some bad decisions along the way, done some things I regret,

but you, son … you were never one of them.”

There it was. Son, something I had always wanted to be and never thought I would be. I rubbed my

hand across the back of my neck.

“I don’t even know what to do with that, Phil. I don’t even know what to call you anymore.”

“What you always did. I’m still just Phil, Nash. The things that happened between me and your mom, it

was too long ago and had nothing to do with you. Who you are today is a man you should be proud of … a

man I am proud of as a father, uncle, as a boss and anything in between. I thought I was protecting you,

thought maybe getting sick was a sign. I thought it would just go away, honestly.”

“Cancer? You thought cancer would just magically go away and that you could indefinitely hide from it?

Hide from us?”

“Seems to be a family trait. Took you a full week to get your ass in here, didn’t it?”

He had a point, so I just sighed and leaned against the edge of the bed. I wrapped my hands around the

rail and stared at him. He was sick, it was obvious, but there also appeared to be a lightness in him that had

never been there before. I wondered how hard it had been for him to pretend all this time, to listen to me

bitch about my imaginary father and the blame I placed on him for the way things broke loose with my

mom and her husband. Maybe it was true, and the truth really did set you free.

“I had to get my head around some stuff. I needed to do that alone.” I knew it should be on the very tip

of my tongue to ask why he hadn’t disclosed that he was my father before now, why he had been keeping

secrets from me my entire life, but I think I was kind of terrified of the answer. My mom had never made

me feel like I was worthy of carrying her blood. I don’t think I could handle it if Phil had any of that kind

of reasoning behind his actions.

“Where you at with everything now?” His tone was hesitant and I felt like an asshole for making him

uncertain of where he stood with me.

“I don’t really know, but you’ve never let me down in my life and I would never be able to live with

myself if something happened to you and we left things the way they were. I owe you everything I have

and everything that I am. I’m not going to let you fight this alone.”

He cringed a little and looked away. The goatee that surrounded his mouth curled down on the sides and

I felt my stomach dip.

“There isn’t a fight anymore, Nash. The cancer has officially had a TKO on my system. It’s

metastasized, it’s moved into my lymph nodes. Not much we can do but wait it out.”

I gulped and felt moisture start to burn at the back of my eyes. I pulled the brim of my hat down lower

over my forehead and blinked hard to keep the emotion in check.

“What about chemo, or radiation … hell, what about a voodoo ceremony? No options?”

He shook his head, and while I felt like he was giving me the worst news in the world, Phil looked like

he had had plenty of time to come to terms with his fate and the lack of satisfying answers.

“I know this is all new to you, and that you haven’t had enough time to really come to terms with the lot

of it, but I’ve been sick for a while and this isn’t my first go-around. The time I had with you, with the rest

of the crew, it was a blessing.”

I felt anger start to coil back up in my gut and I had to concentrate on breathing in and out to stop from

lashing out.

“You were sick before?”

He made a noise of affirmation and reached a shaky hand out for a glass of water. I walked around the

side of the bed so I could hand it to him. Our matching gazes locked and I had to swallow back all the sour-

tasting feelings this conversation was leaving in my mouth.

“Yeah. Same thing. Right before I bought the shop. It was a tumor in one lung and I had surgery to cut

it out and then had to do treatment for a year afterward. It was one of the main reasons I was so eager to let

you and Rule apprentice under me. There is a lot of crap work out there, people don’t take the art, the work

behind tattooing, seriously. I knew if I taught you boys the right way to do it, made you respect the skill and

craft inside and out, if anything happened to me my legacy would be left in good hands. I beat it that time

around, thought maybe I could beat it again.”

“Why didn’t you quit smoking?”

“Because quitting is hard. Because I thought I was invincible. I don’t know, Nash. There isn’t a good

reason. I wish I had quit, and I hope you will. There is absolutely no reason for you to tempt fate.”

I opened my mouth to say something else but got sidetracked when the door swung open and Rule

walked in.

“All good in here?”

“Working on it, kiddo. Come in here really quick, I want to talk to both of you about something.”

Rule shut the door and made his way to the opposite side of the hospital bed. Phil opened his mouth,

and before he could start speaking broke off into an awful fit of coughing. It hurt me to watch the way the

hacking cough moved his frail body. It took him a few minutes to catch his breath and Rule and I shared a

concerned look over the bed.

“Damn, that hurt.” He cleared his throat and shifted his gaze back and forth between the two of us. “I’m

signing the shop over to you boys. We own the location outright, so the deed to the property is going in

Nash’s name. You two have been an unstoppable team since you were old enough to start giving me gray

hair, you’re also the best artists in this town. You both put the Marked on the map, gave it a style and a

name that I never could. You made it yours and I think the two of you as business partners have a lot to

offer this city.”

Rule and I exchanged stunned looks and then looked at Phil like he was speaking French and we didn’t

understand. We could tattoo, we could work with clients, but neither one of us had any clue how to manage

or operate a business.

“I was looking for a new location, a second shop in LoDo. I wanted to expand, get our name and work

to a different breed of clientele. I found the perfect spot. Signed a five-year lease on it, but now … well,

now it’s going to be up to you guys to get it up and running.”

LoDo referred to the lower downtown portion of Denver. It was filled with bars, restaurants, and any

kind of lease on a storefront down there had to be astronomical. Rule was the first to ask:

“Uh … you do realize we have no idea how to run a shop, right?”

Phil rolled his eyes and snorted at us.

“Of course I know that. I already talked to Cora. She’s going to be your business manager. You really

think once that baby gets here she’s going to want to answer phones and schedule appointments for you

boneheads all day? No way, that little spitfire was born to take care of someone, she’ll wanna spend as

much time with the baby as she can. Give her an office in the new building, she can handle the technical

aspects for you, and if she still wants to pierce, she can schedule it on her own time. All you need to do is

find a new shop manager and hire the staff for the new location. I have faith in you boys. You’ll do me

proud.”

“You’ve planned this all out without bothering to ask either of us how we feel about it?” I couldn’t keep

some of the simmering anger I was feeling from bursting through.

“Nash …” Phil’s voice dipped down an octave. “I don’t have enough time left to argue. I want my

family taken care of, I want what I worked so hard to build to live on. This is the way to achieve both those

things. Trust me.”

I used to trust him without question … recent events made that a little bit harder to do.

“Where are we supposed to find a new shop manager? And how do you expect either of us to vet an

entirely new staff of artists? Rule and I don’t have any idea how to do that.” I sounded a little bit petulant

even to my own ears.

“You’ll figure it out. I have a few calls in to some people, some contacts I’ve made over the years. I’m

not going to leave you high and dry.”

Both of us had a million and one questions to ask, but Phil broke off in a fit of coughing that didn’t

seem to have an ending point. He was obviously uncomfortable and in an immeasurable amount of pain.

Rule went and found a nurse, who gave Phil something that soon had his eyes drooping closed and his

chest moving up and down in a steady rhythm. He faded out and Rule jerked his head toward the door, so I

followed him into the hallway.

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah, that about covers it.” I took my hat off my head and then slammed it back on. “What the fuck are

we going to do?”

“Figure it out, I guess. That’s what we always do.”

“This is insane, all of it.”

“No doubt, but we’ll just take it one step at a time. We got your back, Nash. Remember that next time

you want to play ostrich and bury your head in a bottle of tequila for a week.”

I did know it. “Thanks, Rule. Hey, give me just a minute. I wanna try and track down Saint and

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