Necessary Evil of Nathan Miller (2 page)

Is he a ghost or is he real?
I
thought but was too tired to give voice to it any more. Directly
above me, all I could see was a blurry yellow bear.
As a ghost
he can’t protect me...If this kills me, Winnie the Pooh, I’m taking
you and your smug smiling face with me to hell.
This last
thought followed me down into a spiral of darkness.

Part 3

The sibilance of sound as his voice
spoke in endless waves. Sentences ebbed and flowed in the dark –
always the same ones with slight variations.

Sssssorry…

"Caitlin, I'm sorry I didn't help you
sooner."

"Stole a shirt from a corpse and stuck
it on you. Sorry…"

"So sorry…"

"Sorry I didn't…"

Sssssafe…

"It's okay, angel, you're safe."

"Safe in hospital, where you
belong."

"You're safe now. They can't hurt
you."

"I'll keep you safe, Caitlin. I
swear…"

"Shh, it's okay, you're safe now."

Sssssshe…

"She's the same age as you. I couldn't
let them…"

"She said she knew who'd killed
her."

"She's all I have left. Please…"

"After a few drinks, she wanted to
leave, so we made it to the back seat of my car before she…"

"She was my twin…"

"She must've spiked my drink…"

Sssssssister…

"My twin sister…"

"The only sister I have left…"

"Said, 'Are you sure you didn't get the
sister instead? We'll call him Chris, just in case…'"

"Please, wake up and help me save my
sister."

"Said it'd remind me of the sister I
didn't want them to take. You or her, he said…"

"Do you know what it's like to lose a
sister?"

Sssssshhhhhould've…

"I should've tried to help you
sooner…"

"Should've known she seemed
strange…"

"Should've grabbed you before she did
and run…"

"Should've known…"

Ssssorry…

"Sorry. Caitlin, I'm so sorry."

Surfacing to sound, before submerging
in darkness once more. Sorry. Slipping…sinking…from safety to
screaming nightmares.

Shit.

Part 4

Mercedes – Red – Chris – Her – Mike –
Sorry – Pervert

Saucer Eyes looked like he was going to
cry. I was going to make him cry if he so much as touched me. "How
c-"

"Shut up!" said the one in the
passenger seat.

Saucer Eyes wasn't much older than me.
His breathing slowed, but it felt forced, the muscles in his legs
tense beneath my back. Thighs as taut as a fully laden clothes
line. One hand clutched the door handle, but the door didn’t open,
no matter how hard he pulled on that handle. His other hand mashed
down the window button, which wasn’t opening, either. Held prisoner
by the car’s child lock. No one trusts a pervert, not even his
peers.

He wouldn’t look at me as he mumbled
something, half under his breath, that sounded like, "Sorry,"
before he turned away to stare out the window.

I dragged air in through my nose,
inflating my burning lungs like brand-new balloons. I wanted to
kill the bitch and her two blokes, too. But first…

"Let me go, you bastard!" I blared,
feeling satisfaction as Saucer Eyes’ hands shot up in scared
surrender.

You can wait, pervert. The big bastard
gets his balls ripped off first. Besides, the only way out is
through his door, if the back doors are child-locked shut.

The big, chunky bastard in the
passenger seat just laughed.

I tensed, testing each muscle for
readiness as I prayed I could do enough damage to make him let me
go.

I launched my body at him, clawed
fingers first, reaching for his face. I wanted to scratch his eyes
out, but his fist to my jaw jerked my head up so hard I saw stars
as I landed in Saucer Eyes’ lap, stunned. I sucked in a sobbing
breath, not game to give in to the blokes who could kill me. Fight
them ‘til I fucking killed them, for I’d never let them win as long
as I drew breath. One more breath and I’d be up, ready to rip out
an eye.

Chunky twisted in his seat, telling
Saucer Eyes, "Chris, hold her still," but he wouldn’t touch me.
Still surrendering, Chris was saucer-eyed and shaking, set against
a background of the dark car ceiling. Chunky caressed the forming
bruise on my face with a satisfied smile, saying, "Beautiful,"
before he clamped a cloth over my face, crushing me down onto
Saucer Eyes. Chris.

I remember gasping for breath, fighting
what I knew was sweet, cloying chloroform, but I couldn’t. All I
could see was Saucer Eyes’ face, his anguished look as his lips
formed the words I couldn't hear, "Oh God, I’m so sorry," before it
all vanished in a dark haze.

It’s all dark after that.

Part 5

The first unfamiliar voice I heard was
male. I struggled to focus, but it was like my body was too heavy
to move, from my eyelids to my toes. Even the voice sounded like it
was far away or it was a TV with the volume on low.

"Guards…no one…we need her to stay
safe…." I heard the unfamiliar voice say.

The reply came with words I couldn’t
hear, but my heart relaxed at the sound. I didn’t know his name,
but I knew his voice meant safety.

The unfamiliar man heard him, though,
and he responded, "….get them before the local police do…be her
fucking best mate…"

It’s his job to guard me. He’s not
police, but he’s here. He’s going to stay and keep me safe. And he
has orders to get them before the police do. Shit, not before I get
there first. I want to kill them all for what they did to me. Maybe
he’ll help me…my best mate, all right.

They kept talking while my thoughts
drifted in the dark.

Some of the words penetrated the fog in
my head. "Let me know what you find out. And don‘t let anyone
fucking kill her." The unfamiliar voice faded, as if he was walking
away from me.

That’s right. Don’t let anyone fuck or
kill me. Not even in self-defence.

Drifting…

Part 6

I heard voices as I floated in the
dark, mostly his but sometimes others. Sometimes I could discern a
few words, but they seemed too far away to focus on. The only
concept I seemed to be able to hold onto was whenever I heard his
voice, there was no pain and I thought, It’s okay. I’m safe. In
between those times, I fought them in the dark, over and over
again.

I couldn’t open my eyes to see if any
of them – him or them – were real. I was too tired, my eyes too
heavy. Or my eyes were open and it was so dark that I couldn’t see,
just like before. This felt different, somehow. It was warmer
here.

I heard his voice as a wordless hum and
relaxed in the sensation of safety it brought. Through the
contentment in my head, I heard him clearly say, "Alana."

That’s my name! My middle name,
anyway.
I struggled to focus on what he said next. Something
about his sister.

"...Never stopped fighting, never let
them win. So they broke her and they killed her. How could anyone
do that to her?"

How could anyone do that to me?

"I wanted to hunt them down and hurt
them for what they did to her. But the police didn’t arrest anyone
and they could still do it again, to someone else!"

Hunt them down and kill them. Then
they’ll never do it again.

"I’m sorry, Caitlin. I never wanted to
see you hurt. Not like this. I should have helped you
sooner..."

It’s not too late. Help me hunt them
down and kill them. Then maybe I’ll forgive you for what you
did...

I felt the fury bubble up inside me,
but all it did was exhaust me, pushing me deeper into the dark
where I couldn’t make out what he was saying.

Part 7

Dark – Chris – Mike – Awake – Card

Angry voices in the dark. No…one angry
voice, one petulant one.

The angry one shouted commands. "You
are not to talk to her, except to give orders or ask questions."
Even at a distance, the bastard's voice hurt my pounding head.

The petulant one sounded almost whiny.
"Mike, she'll be scared and not feeling well, with the aftereffects
of the drugs. I want her lying down…"

You can want me all you like. Get close
to me and I’ll kick your balls backwards through your teeth.

"Of course you do. It's easier to fuck
her lying down than standing up."

My blood ran cold and I missed whatever
the angry prick said next.

"But she’s not a threat," the petulant
voice whined.

Sure, mate, you believe that until I
get close enough to bite something off.

"You don’t need to have her tied up
like this," he continued.

Fucking right you don’t.

I twisted my wrists within the rope –
it was a little loose. Not loose enough to pull out of, but I could
still move my hands a bit. The rope didn't restrict my circulation.
I shifted, rolling on the concrete like an overturned turtle. I
still had my clothes, but no shoes. More rope on my ankles.

I have to get rid of the rope. I need
to find a sharp edge to cut it, so I can get free. I squirmed,
wondering what in hell was in my jeans pocket. It felt like a
really thick credit card.

"Please. I don't think I can…" the
petulant voice begged.

Mike said, "Sure you can. Nothing to
it. She's tied up so she can't escape. You don't need to say a word
to her. If you're lucky, she might still be unconscious. You can
stick it in and be done before she wakes up to think about fighting
you. Easiest lay of your life."

I heard the smack of flesh on flesh.
Did Mike just slap Chris on the back? Or did Chris slap Mike for
saying what he did? Shit, who cares?

I managed to get two fingers into my
pocket, almost dislocating my shoulder in the process. Wincing, I
pinched the strange card between my fingers. Slowly, I edged it
out, wishing my hands weren't tied behind my back. I wasn't sure
how to bring it to my face so I could see it. I explored the edges
with my fingers, trying to work out what it was.

I heard something scrape across
concrete.

"What the hell is that for?" Mike
sneered.

It's the Swiss Card I bought Jason for
his birthday. This was in my bag – one of them must have stuck it
in my pocket. Someone's trying to help me.

"In case I get hungry or thirsty. You
said she's mine all night." Chris sounded uncertain.

Mike laughed. "Yeah, you would need a
snack to keep your stamina up for more than a minute. Have fun with
her. Tell me about it tomorrow."

I heard heavy footsteps leaving.

I desperately tried to pull a blade out
of the card, but I couldn't seem to find one. Oh shit, oh shit…

Part 8

Strange hands touching me again. This
didn’t hurt yet, but I called for him in panic.

I heard his voice clearly this time.
"It’s okay, Caitlin. You’ve been hurt and we’re trying to help you
get better."

A woman’s voice, closer than his.
It
must be her hands on me.
"You’re in hospital as a patient now
and all of us on the clinical team here are doing our best to help
you get better."
She knows me. She knows I'm not usually a
patient in hospital.
"Your roommate is sleazy and, if I were
you, I’d wake up fast so you can ask for a room transfer."

Inwardly, I laughed. No matter how
sleazy, there was no way I'd give in to anyone’s amorous advances
for a very long time. Mr Sleazy Roommate would give up long before
that.

I could smell disinfectant now. Faint,
but it was there. They were both quiet, so I heard the crackle of
ripping paper and plastic, interspersed with the feeling of tugging
on my skin, then something soft being smoothed back over it again.
Changing my dressings?
I was aware of the edge of pain now,
as feeling returned to my body.

The woman’s voice was low and kind.
"I’ll get you some more medicine for the pain. That'll help."
Another crackle nearby, but I couldn’t feel anything touch me.
"There, all done. Sleep well."

I felt my body fade away until I was
just a consciousness in the dark again. Then even that slipped away
as I fell asleep once more.

Part 9

"Pregnant."

"Rape."

I heard the words and struggled to
focus. I could feel my body faintly, so I tried to move my fingers,
but it was too much for me yet.

The calm voice sighed, sounding sad.
"If she was awake, I could ask her. But she’s a seventeen-year-old
girl who’s been through hell and a lot of pain, given how long she
was missing and the state she’s in now."

I found I could hold my breath.
A
seventeen- year-old girl who’s been through hell. That’s me, all
right. But pregnant? NO!

"I’ve left a note in her file and I’m
leaving it at that. There’s no need to ask her, or even mention it.
She’s definitely not pregnant."

I let out my held breath in a sigh of
relief, but it was only loud in my ears. Too intent on their own
conversation, they didn’t hear me.

The second voice belonged to a young
woman, who sounded very serious. "I’d ask, Dr Lannon, just to be
thorough. What if..."

I stopped trying to move and stayed as
still as I could. Even knowing the man was Dr Lannon didn’t
reassure me.
I’m not awake. Don’t ask me. I don’t want to tell
you.

His normally calm and patient voice
sounded irritated, louder than before. "Did you see her when she
came in? Have you been here when she has nightmares?"

"No, I’ve just read her file because
she was on my patient list today."

"This girl was beaten and raped
repeatedly for weeks then left on a beach to die. It’s been all
over the news. Do you want to be the one to remind her and make her
relive all the gory details?"

I could hear footsteps leaving – her
reply sounded further away. "No."