Need (17 page)

While I continued to explore her neck liberally with my mouth, I massaged and played with her breast. Once I got her to relax, I found that she had the most remarkably responsive nipples. I couldn’t wait to get my mouth on them in the future.

I played with her breasts until she began pressing her body back against mine. She really had no idea what her responses did to me. My body was primed and ready even though nothing would happen tonight, and every little sigh, moan, and movement just added to that.

I continued my assault on her neck and shoulder all the while. Now, as I moved my hand down her body once again, I scraped my teeth against the soft skin of her neck. I was going to leave a mark on her, and I didn’t care. In fact, I wanted it. I wanted Ross and anyone else who saw her to know she was spoken for. That she . . . was mine. 

As my hand reached its destination, her legs parted for me. “Good girl,” I said as I picked up where I’d left off before.

She was more receptive this time, which was encouraging.

I alternated between a feather light touch and one with deliberate pressure. She was breathing heavily. And when I went with too little pressure for too long, she would move her hips forward just a little, looking for contact.

Brianna was doing so well. I was so proud of her.

Most of her neck was red from my attentions, but I wasn’t willing to stop. Her little moans when I’d reach a certain area were too valuable to ignore.

I dipped my fingers lower, headed toward her opening. I went slowly because I didn’t know how she would react.

It was a good decision on my part. As soon as the tips of my fingers reached her entrance, her whole body went rigid. It was as if a switch flipped. I knew her well enough at this point to know that if I pushed, she’d be heading toward panic.

“Brianna?”

No answer.

I removed my hand completely and turned her toward me. Her face was blank, as if she was preparing herself for something.

I wrapped my arms around her, and tucked her head under my chin. “Shh. Relax.”

Slowly, she did.

Then the tears began.

I held her until she cried herself to sleep in my arms, and then I tucked her into her bed.

It was well after eleven before I crawled into my own bed. We had a long way to go if just the feel of my fingers was going to cause her to panic.

Stephan

Another long night. I continued to think over what had happened, and how best to help Brianna. I was worried about her. We’d reached her limit, but she had not used her safeword. Instead, she’d gone into that frozen panic again—something we had to get past.

    I woke a little early, got ready for work, and went to check on Brianna. She was still sleeping, so I left her a note saying I’d call her later and kissed her forehead before leaving for the office.

The ride to work was uneventful. I wished I could have said the same thing for my arrival at the office. The moment the elevator doors opened to my floor, standing there in pressed khakis and a polo shirt was Cal Ross.

With a mental sigh, I walked forward. Jamie, already at her desk, had glanced up at my entrance. She was watching the two of us intently. “Good morning, Mr. Coleman.”

“Morning, Jamie. Any messages?”

She looked over my shoulder at Ross, then back at me. “Nothing urgent.”

I nodded to my assistant, turned my head slightly to look at Ross, and motioned for him to follow me into my office. If we were going to discuss Brianna—and I was certain that was why he was here—then I would not do it as an open forum for passersby to hear. It was bad enough he was at my office to begin with.

He followed me inside and closed the door behind him. At least he appeared to want privacy as well; a point in his favor.

I took a seat behind my desk, and motioned to the chair opposite me. He shook his head and stood with his arms folded.

The staring contest continued for several minutes before I finally leaned back in my chair and said, “You can stand there all day, Ross, or you can just say what you’ve come here to say. I, for one, have a business to run.”

Ross’s eyes narrowed at my statement. He shifted his weight, leaning forward with his arms on the back of the chair in front of him. “What’s wrong with Anna?” he demanded.

I was careful to keep my expression neutral and emphasize the first word. “
Nothing
is wrong with Brianna.”

He threw his arms abruptly off the back of the chair in exasperation. “Nothing is wrong with her?
Nothing
?” His voice rose in agitation. “She looks like a scared mouse.”

He looked like he was just getting started; I kept quiet and let him continue. I was in luck. He started pacing.

“If I move too quickly, I see her flinch. And if I try to touch her—” I bristled a little at his words; the thought of Ross touching her did not sit well with me. No man was ever coming that close to her again. “—you’d think I’d tried to burn her or something. Then you . . . you hover around her as if she’s going to break or something. Something has to be wrong with her, and don’t think that I have ruled you out as the cause, Coleman.”

His posturing was aggressive, but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. “What has she told you?”

“She hasn’t told me anything,” he said, clearly frustrated.

I leaned forward, rested my forearms on my desk, and folded my hands. “I’m not going to tell you anything
either.”

If Brianna wanted him to know about Ian, or about her father, then she was going to have to tell him herself.

Ross just stood there dumbfounded and clearly frustrated. Good . . . so was I.

He stared at me with a blank look on his face before turning around and leaving without another word. I’d known from the start that Cal Ross wasn’t going to stay out of Brianna’s life. It didn’t mean I had to like it.

I took a few minutes to settle myself before turning on my computer and calling Jamie to get my messages. There was only one. Lily wanted to see me.

My feelings toward my friend were mixed at the moment. I’d spoken to Logan to see if he’d given her instructions that would have kept her in the bathroom for longer than normal. He’d assured me that he hadn’t since he’d known that she would most likely be escorting Brianna. That, of course, left normal human reasons for her to have taken so long, leaving my girl alone. I knew I couldn’t fault her for that, even if I wanted to. She couldn’t have known that simply having Brianna wait for her outside the ladies’ room would get her accosted. No one had thought Karl would go that far, although I should have.

I checked my e-mails. Most of them were routine; however, there was one from Daren.

Stephan,

I debated sending this a hundred times. But in the end, I thought it best.

I wanted to apologize. My presence disturbed your girl, and that was never my intention. By this point, I’m assuming you’ve discovered that I played with her. It was at the party I told you about. If you would like details, you know how to reach me.

Your friend,

Daren.

The fact that Daren had contacted me wasn’t what surprised me; it was that he’d chosen e-mail as his method. I’d been expecting a phone call, or even for him to show up at my office. E-mail was definitely unexpected. It made me wonder why.

Before I could think too much about it, I called his cell. He picked up on the second ring. 

“Stephan, I’m glad you called.”

“I got your e-mail.”

He sighed. “I figured as much.”

“I have to say I’m a little surprised you e-mailed me. Why didn’t you just call?”

“Maybe I should have. No—I should have. But I wanted to give you time with your girl. It was obvious she reacted very badly to seeing me again. Is she all right?”

“Yes. She’s better now. Seeing you was obviously a shock. I didn’t know you were going to be there. She had no warning, which didn’t help.”

“I know. I’m sorry about that, too. It was a last-minute decision. Someone couldn’t go, so I stepped in. Otherwise, I would have said something.”

This caused me to feel mortified. He could have done something, made an effort, but he didn’t. “You could have just stayed away from her.
That
would have been best.”

He was silent for a long time.

“You’re right. My apologies. I shouldn’t have tried to make contact knowing what I did.” He paused again. “How is she now?”

“Better.”

“I’m glad she’s better,” he said with remorse. “Your girl told you what happened?”

“She didn’t go into details,” I acknowledged, making it clear I wanted more from him. “What happened?”

“Ian and I struck up a conversation. He was bragging about his new slave. I was talking about Gina. Very normal. Brianna knelt at his feet with his Alpha the whole time. I had no reason to suspect that something wasn’t right. The conversation turned to the new cane he’d gotten, and he offered to let me try it out on her. It wasn’t until I’d been caning her for a few minutes that I realized something wasn’t right. She was so still, like she wasn’t there. It wasn’t a normal submissive reaction at all. She wasn’t in subspace. She wasn’t enjoying it. I began watching her mannerisms, and saw how she was trying to escape her discomfort.

“I decided to test my theory and asked Ian what her safeword was. He told me she didn’t have one. At that point, I asked if there was a room where I could play with her privately. He was happy to oblige my use of his slave. Once I got her alone, I began again and saw how scared she was not only of me, but afterward she was even more so of going back to her Master. Before, in Ian’s presence, she’d been almost void of emotion entirely. By then I knew for sure. After that, I decided to keep an eye on the situation.”

I knew from first-hand experience what Brianna was like when she became deathly still.

Shortly after that, I ended the call. I needed to check on Brianna, it was almost ten o’clock. Instead of hearing her beautiful voice, I heard mine as the answering machine picked up. I quickly left a message, hung up, and tried her cell next. Again, I got voicemail. I was beginning to worry. Why wasn’t she picking up?

I left another brief message telling her to call me on my cell, and then hung up. Closing my eyes, I tried to calm myself. Maybe she was still sleeping. I was doubtful, but I would give her some time and try again.

A knock sounded on my door. I saw Lily peek her head in as she opened it a few inches. “May I come in?” I gave her a terse nod, and she stepped into the room. “I wanted to apologize and make sure that Brianna was okay. I shouldn’t have left her, and I’m sorry.”

“No. You should
not
have,” I snapped.

“I know,” she responded, lowering her head. “I’m sorry.”

“I trusted you. As a friend, you should have known what I expected when I had you escort Brianna. I’m disappointed.”

Her head lowered further. “I know.”

“You aren’t to leave her alone like that again, Lily.”

She didn’t speak, but I knew she’d heard me.

“She’s recovered from Saturday for the most part,” I answered, somewhat forcefully, continuing to remind myself that it wasn’t really Lily’s fault.

“I’m glad.” Lily was still walking on eggshells, which was good. She should feel bad. “Let me help?”

Considering that I couldn’t reach Brianna this morning, I had an idea. “Brianna isn’t answering the house phone or her cell. She may still be sleeping, but you could go spend the day with her. I have a meeting this afternoon.”

“I can go now.”

“If she is still sleeping, then let her rest. If she’s up, have her call me.” 

She nodded. 

“I’ll be home early. You can help her make dinner, and have it ready by four o’clock.”

“Anything else?”

“That should be it,” I said. She turned to go and I added, “She had a rough night, Lily. Don’t let her out of your sight for long, please.”

Again, she nodded, and then she was gone. I felt a little better having Lily with her, but this day could not be over soon enough.

Brianna

It took all of thirty seconds after my eyes had opened for me to start crying. I remembered everything. He’d been wonderful last night. It felt so good having him touch me like that. And then . . . 

The tears fell harder. Why did I have to be such a mess?

His note hadn’t helped. Well, it did, but it made me feel worse.

After a long cry, I’d finally gotten myself out of bed, taken a shower, and made myself breakfast. Most of my food went uneaten, however. I just didn’t have an appetite, and every few minutes I had to fight another wave of tears.

The clock read nine thirty when I decided to start cleaning the house. I needed something to keep myself busy, and it was the best idea I could think of. Why couldn’t Brad be coming over today? He would have been able to keep my mind off things. Instead, I was left to my own methods. Dusting seemed like the perfect distraction until a spot on the kitchen floor caught my eye. For some reason it bugged me, and I had to remove it before I did anything else.