Need You Tonight (7 page)

Yet, here I am, moving faster than I ever have in my life. It makes no sense. None at all. Parker barely tolerates me, or at least seems to, before he gives me a glimpse of what I hope is the real him.

Maybe he’s like me, dealing with issues, with life…with trying to get through each day. He’s nothing like how Rae had described—charming, funny, and sweet. At least the majority of the time he’s not like that.

I have no idea who or what to expect tomorrow night. Will I get charming or surly, friendly or seductive? Which one do I want?

Shaking my head in disgust, I whisper, “I don’t want him,” to the woman in the mirror.

Unfortunately, my body disagrees.

“Okay,” I say absently. “I’ll be sure to answer the phones while you’re gone.”

“I said, we, as in you and me. I
never
get girl time around here with all these lugheads.”

Jerking my gaze up, I stare at her. First girls’ night out and now this? For so long I hid from the world that now, I’m completely rusty at replying like a normal person. Or even at all.

She tilts her head to one side, miming eating. “You, me, and lunch. It’s what people do. Paul will take his break after ours, so we’re covered.”

Heat travels up my neck.
Gah.
I’ve always hated how easily I blush. “Good.” I fumble for my purse, nearly dumping it over. “I’m ready.”

Rowan eyes me for a moment, obviously dying to say something, as her lips twitch. “I’ll drive.”

Nodding, I shoot to my feet and almost plow through Rowan in my hurry not to look so stupid. “Let’s go.”

Laughing, Rowan falls into step beside me. “Slow your roll, girl. It’s lunch, not a fire drill.

I practically come to a complete stop in the middle of the hallway. “Right.”

She grabs my arm and tugs me along. “But it’s not a funeral march either.” I feel her tense. “Crap. I shouldn’t have said that.”

I give her a blank look. “Said what?”

“About the funeral march.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” I assure her. “I’m not
that
sensitive.” Anymore.

Relief fills in her eyes. “Thank God. I was worried.”

“Now you don’t have to worry,” I say, smiling. Pushing open the door, I blink at the bright sun. “Can you believe it’s almost June?”

“Weather talk? Am I that boring?” Rowan snorts as she unlocks her car. It’s black with a large, red stripe up the middle of the hood that extends over the roof and to the trunk. I don’t know a lot about cars, but this one screams Bad Ass Muscle Car.

“It’s a safe topic.” I grin.

“So I
am
that boring.”

“Nah,” I say, sliding inside the car and shutting the door, while Rowan does the same.

“You didn’t elaborate on that nah,” she points out. The engine turns over, roaring to life.

“Was I supposed to?” I ask, all innocence.

“Harsh, Reeves, harsh.” But there’s laughter in her voice as she pulls out into traffic. “How’s work going?”

“I’m enjoying it.”

“None of the guys are giving you a hard time, right?”

“Nope.”

“Good.” She takes a left, then a right. “Do you mind if we stop by Miss Myrtle’s house? I need to run in and make sure she takes her meds with lunch.”

“Fine with me.”

We pull up to a brick ranch-styled house, and Rowan gets out without bothering to turn off the engine. Less than a minute later, she’s back in the car.

“That was quick.”

Rowan blows her bangs out of her eyes. “Today it was. Sometimes, she can be really stubborn.”

“Is she your grandmother or something?”

“She’s my ex-boyfriend’s grandmother.” She mutters something under her breath that I can’t make out.

“Wow. That’s unexpected.”

She shrugs. “I love Miss Myrtle. I’ve been living with her since I was sixteen.”

“What bout your parents?”

Her lips twist. “Not in the picture. My brother, Jace, got sent to jail, and I had nowhere to go except in the foster system.”

My heart goes out to her. I know exactly what it feels like to lose everything. “It couldn’t have been easy living there with your ex.”

“Oh, I’ve never lived with Seth.” She parks in the first row of the parking lot. “He went to jail at the same time my brother did. They were sentenced together.”

I lay a hand on her arm. “I’m so sorry, Rowan.”

Blue eyes full of sadness gaze at me. “So am I.” She takes a deep breath. “Anyway, Jace is the reason why I started Jailbirds to Jobs. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is for former convicts to get a job.”

“Probably as hard as a former Marine,” I point out, thinking of all the resume rough drafts Braden and I wrote for him. “Or any soldier really. They’re so used to being told what to do, when to do it, and who to do it with that some of them aren’t sure how to act once they get back in the real world.”

“Convicts have the same problem, but at least employers are willing to take a chance on someone in the military. They’re the good guys.”

Unsure of how to respond to that, I get out of the car and wait for Rowan to do the same.

My phone buzzes, and I fish it out of my purse. My face grows hot. I’d
almost
forgotten about tonight.

“
No one
sure knows how to get you all hot and bothered.”

She winks at me, clearly trying to joke around, but the reminder of what happened last night with Parker puts me on the defensive. “I’m not hot and bothered!”

“Well, that sucks. I was hoping that you had a hot date, and he had a hot friend.”

“But I’m a widow.” And not ready to date. I’m barely ready to live again.

“Yeah, which means you’re not dead.”

Angry tears spring to my eyes. “I know I’m not dead. I know it every day I don’t wake up with Braden beside me. I know it every day I eat supper by myself. I know it…” I blow out a breath.

Rowan’s face pales. “I did mean to hurt your feelings. I only saw how excited you got a first and then… I assumed that you were ready to date by now.”

“So there’s a time limit on how long I can grieve?”

“No,” she says slowly. “But I would think that grieving for years can’t be healthy. Or how your husband would have wanted you to live the rest of your life.”

Rowan sounds so much like Soon Lin in that moment that a wave of homesickness washes over me. She would so approve of me being friends with such a no-nonsense woman like Rowan. I take a breath to calm my nerves.

“Please forgive me. I get a little testy sometimes.”

Rowan’s blonde brow arches.

“I get a lot testy sometimes, and I’m
really
sorry.”

A genuine smile covers her face. “You’re forgiven. Just don’t let it happen again or I’ll fire you.”

My mouth drops open. “Are you serious?”

“
Kidding
,” she sings out, and then gives me a side glance. “Tell me about the hot date.”

“I don’t have a date tonight. I’m making dinner for my handyman.”

A smirk covers her face. “That sounds like a date to me.”

“Parker and I are nothing to each other, not even friends. I barely know him.”

“Parker Morgan?” The look on her face is priceless as I nod. “You’re going on a date,”—I narrow my eyes at her—“
making
dinner for him?”

“He came with the house,” I say lamely.

“Do you know how many women will hate you after this?” she says as we walk inside.

“Should I?”

“Oh my gosh. You really have no clue about those Morgan boys.”

“I’m not from here, so why would I?”

“Two, please,” Rowan says to the hostess.

We are led to a table near the back. I can tell that Rowan wants to know more, but the waitress has to get our food and drink orders first.

“Back to Parker Morgan. He is fine, like ovary-exploding fine. Spill all the details of how the two of you met.”

“There’s nothing to tell, really. I’m renting a house from his sister-in-law’s grandmother, and I was told he’s the guy to call if I had a problem.” I skip the part about our first meeting, where I practically forced him to read my husband’s obituary.

“I’d be having a problem every night,” she says with no small amount of glee. “How do you control yourself around him?”

“Because I don’t think of him like that.”
Liar, liar
a voice in my head sings at me. “I wouldn’t know what to do with him even if I did. I haven’t been with anyone in two and a half years. Soon Lin says I should get out more. She was more than pleased that I’m going out with you and your friends tomorrow night.”

“That’s because Soon Lin is brilliant. I don’t even know her and I know this to be true.” She winks at me. “You know… maybe you should try to think of Parker
that way
and get him to think of you that way, too.”

I give her a please-stop look.

“Just see what happens and then report back to me for further instructions,” she adds in a rush. “Not that I want to live vicariously through you due to my own long dry spell.”

I can’t help but giggle. I know Rowan is an encourager by nature, so I’m not offended.

“It’s like the Sahara Desert up in my girl parts,” she says in all seriousness.

My giggle turns into full-blown laughter. “That sounds like something a doctor might need to take a look at.”

Rowan throws a napkin at me. “Witch.”

We spend the rest of lunch talking about tomorrow night, her friends, and the club we’ll be going to, but I can barely concentrate, because all I can think about are her words.

Maybe you should try.

“Shut it,” he grumbles. “Miss Violet took a nasty fall, and we’ve been dealing with that.”

Shit.
“Is she okay?”

“She will be. Luckily, we were with her when it happened, so she got medical attention pretty quickly. Scared Kelly to death.”

“Want me to come get her?”

“Nah, she doesn’t want to leave Miss Violet’s side.”

Now that we’ve got the reason why he hasn’t called me back out of the way, I can finally get some answers. “About Mrs. Reeves,” I begin.

“What about her?”

I frown. He doesn’t sound defensive or guilty. Just tired. “She’s ah… our age.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“No.” I run a hand through my hair and walk out to the back porch. “She’s making a list of things for me to fix.”

“Is that why you were calling?”

Better to lie than admit that I was pissed about my reaction to her. “Yeah. I wanted to make sure it was okay.”

“Of course it is. Miss Violet would love it. That house hasn’t been lived in for a while now. There has to be a shit-ton of things to fix.”

“Brooklyn mentioned not being able to lock the back porch door and the guest bedroom window.”

There’s a loud silence, before my brother speaks again, “You’re on a first name basis with her? I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously. Watch yourself and remember that you’re not staying.”

“What does that have to do with her?”

“Everything. She’s fragile and… Look, I’m not trying to bust your balls, but women seem to fall all over themselves when it comes to you. That could be a real problem.”

“It’s
my
problem women are attracted to me?”

“Hell yes, it is. You’re not stupid or ignorant of the fact. Watch yourself and do what she asks, nothing more. Got it?”

“Fuck you, Cole. I haven’t done shit to her, and I don’t plan to. So you don’t have to worry about me sullying her reputation or body.” Except I have touched her. I have pressed up against the wall and felt her shiver in my arms. I’ve tasted her skin.

“That’s not what I mean,” he snaps. “Quit being a dick and just listen to me.”

I grind my teeth together. “I need to go.
Mrs. Reeves
needs my help this evening, but don’t worry, I won’t fuck her before I’m done with the list she’s giving me.”

“
Parker
.”

Disgusted with myself and with his assumptions of me, I end our call. It rings again, but I refuse to answer it. Instead, I toss the phone on the ground beside me and head back inside.

Seething with anger, I change clothes and put on some running shoes. With my earbuds firmly in place, I jog outside and then down the road. Brooklyn doesn’t deserve any residual anger from my talk with Cole, and this is the only way I know how to deal with it.

Growing up, Cole used to make fun of me for being so healthy. For quitting smoking, for rarely drinking, for constantly working out, and for buying food that was good for us. Only, he didn’t know the real reason behind it. Those things I could control. Not anyone else. Not the woman who raised us when it was convenient for her, and certainly not the woman who’d hired me at fifteen to work for her agency.

My shoes hit the road, the pull of my muscles a comfort. I push myself to go harder, veering off the main road and into the woods. Here, the path is less traveled, and I have to dodge low-hanging branches and jump rotting logs. The world fades as I head deeper into the forest. The air changes, becoming thicker. Sweat begins to gather at the small of my back and on my chest.

I keep running, until my lungs feel as though they’re about to burst and my legs are burning. Slightly hunched over as I slow to a walk, I breathe deeply and try to calm my racing heart.

My brother is right, no matter what I think about myself or what I used to do. I have no business getting involved in any capacity with Brooklyn. She sure as hell hasn’t invited me to get more involved.

I barely know her, or her story, only the facts about her life that she’s revealed. Like her husband’s death.

Only, I don’t want to spend my summer alone. All my buddies have paired off with good women. Women who love and respect them, accept their pasts, and want their futures. I can’t see how
any
woman would ever feel that way about my past. Or her family. I can only imagine the conversation.

What did you used to do, son?

I got paid to attend high society functions and perform oral sex. Safely, of course. The agency I worked for had very strict rules about that.

BAM!

That’s the sound of the door slamming in my face by every father who heard that. Honestly, I can’t blame them. I wouldn’t want Kelly to date a man like me. Who would?

I wait for a car to go by before upping my walk to a jog on the main road again. Unable to help myself, I try to picture how Brooklyn would react to the truth about me. What would she say, or would she say anything at all?

Mentally, I give myself a shake. It doesn’t matter what I imagine, because I don’t plan to get involved with her, much less reveal my not-so-distant past to her.