Authors: Jasmine Carolina
I grinned, extremely proud of myself and the gift that me and my friends had picked for the newest little girl in our lives. “Sky, Nickayla and Colin helped me pick it out. It’s from all of us.”
She was so excited that she looked like she was about to cry. She hopped off of the chair and rushed over to Nickayla, leaping into her lap and wrapping her in a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She turned to Colin and hugged him as well, then expressed her gratitude.
When she came back to where she initially was, she stood in front of me and took my face between her hands. “Michele, this is my most favoritest gift
ever
! Thank you!”
“You’re welcome, cutie.” I hugged her, and just when I released her, Hayden was approaching us with a large Barbie bicycle without training wheels. “Skylar, look. Your daddy’s here with your last gift.”
She turned around, and almost in slow motion, she raced toward her father and hugged his legs. “Daddy! DADDY! OH MY GOODNESS! THAT’S JUST WHAT I WANTED! OH, THANK YOU, DADDY!”
He set it down and let her hop on top of it, holding it up for her. “You’re welcome, baby. I’ll have to teach you how to ride it soon. Happy birthday, sweetheart.”
I snapped away at the tender moment as Hayden hugged his daughter and kissed the top of her head.
When the presents were done, we sang happy birthday, and Hayden pulled me aside.
“How are things with you and your dad?” I asked, morbidly curious.
“We’re in cahoots.” He nudged me with his shoulder. “Thanks to you.” He gave me a kiss on the nose, then jutted his chin in the direction of Samantha and Patrick, who appeared to be whispering to each other. “It’s not my dad I’m worried about, though. It’s
them
. Every year, they somehow ruin this day for either Skylar, or for me. Something’s up with them, and I need to find out what the Hell it is.”
I nodded, knowing exactly what he was talking about. Samantha and Patrick had been giving me weird vibes all day, and it felt good to know that I wasn’t the only one who noticed that something was going on with them.
“I’ll help your sisters with cutting and distributing the cake. You go find out what’s up,” I said, and I proceeded to walk away, but Hayden grabbed my hand as it swung behind me.
“I need you with me. They can handle it alone; I’m sure of it. We need to slip away now before Skylar notices. I don’t want this to be bad for her.”
I nodded, following him as he approached his ex-wife and her husband. He gestured for them to follow him into the house, and we all walked inside, making our way to the living room and sitting down across from each other on the two couches.
I crossed my legs, my hand resting on Hayden’s knee. Samantha eyed my hand, and sighed.
“I’m sorry if we’ve seemed suspicious tonight, HJ,” she began. “I was adamant on trying not to ruin today for our daughter. I didn’t want things this way, but it looks like there’s no avoiding it.” She adjusted herself and averted her gaze. “Hayden, we’re moving. Patrick, Kynlee and I are moving.”
Hayden blinked at his ex-wife, gave me an awkward glance, and then turned to face her again. “Okay? You’ve moved before. I don’t understand, though. If you’re just moving, what’s with all the secrecy? It’s not like it’s going to affect Skylar one way or another.”
Patrick shifted uncomfortably, and he nodded at his wife. “Actually, it will.”
“How?”
It was Samantha who spoke next, her voice low and hoarse. “HJ, we’re moving to Florida. Patrick’s family is in Florida.”
Holy fucking shit.
I didn’t know what Hayden was feeling, but I damn sure was pissed at Samantha. Already, she’d broken his heart, given up her daughter, and started a new family that it didn’t seem like Skylar would
ever
be a part of, and she was fucking
moving
? In my mind, it was like my dad and Gemma all over again, and I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to lunge across the living room and choke the shit out of this bitch, but I knew that I couldn’t for Hayden’s sake and for Skylar’s.
“What the Hell do you mean you’re moving to Florida, Sam?” Hayden asked, his voice soft. “For how long? Why? I don’t understand where any of this is coming from!”
Samantha reached up to wipe the tears from her eyes, and she pulled her hand away from Patrick. She stood up, heading over to the window and peering out of it. She stood, her back to us, for almost five minutes before she turned back to face the room.
“We’ve been meaning to for a while—ever since we met, actually. But I was afraid at how it’d affect Skylar. I was afraid of how she’d be impacted without a mother figure in her life. Patrick’s mother is really sick, HJ, and we’re going to take care of her. And we’re going to stay in her house indefinitely.” She paused. “And you ask why? She’s why.” She pointed at me, and Hayden rolled his eyes.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re
abandoning
your daughter,
again
, all because I’ve finally moved on? What the fuck is
wrong
with you?”
Sam shook her head, a faint smile on her face.
“It’s because you’ve finally moved on, but not for the reasons you’re thinking. Honestly, HJ, I know what I did to you. I know what I did to Skylar. I nearly broke you, and I gave her up without a backward glance. And I’ll
never
stop being sorry for that. I promise you, I’ll carry the guilt over how badly I’ve hurt the two of you for the rest of my life.” She paused, smiling at me. “I’ve watched you for almost four years, walking around like an empty shell of a man, going through the motions for your daughter. And then
she
came along. I knew she was the one the minute that Skylar mentioned her name to me. You’ve dated, but you’ve
never
introduced a girl to Sky. When she told me about Michele, I knew. You were
finally
moving on! The only reason that I hadn’t left yet was because A) I felt you deserved to find happiness once and for all, even if I couldn’t give it to you, B) I wanted a female figure who would love Skylar like her own, and C) who Skylar would love more than she loves me before I could leave. And in Michele, I’ve found
all
of those things, and now it’s time for me to get out of your lives for good. All I’ll ever do is hurt the both of you, and you and my daughter deserve much better than that. You deserve someone like Michele who will take care of you, who will love you unconditionally.”
I gulped, not quite sure how to respond. She was talking about me, talking about how
perfect
I was for Hayden, but I didn’t feel perfect. I was just on a date with another man for crying out loud! She was making this decision without knowing if I was even going to be around for the long run! What the Hell was she thinking?
“How the Hell am I supposed to explain this to my daughter, Samantha?!” Hayden exploded, jumping to his feet as I brought my hands to my mouth. “How the Hell am I supposed to be okay with this?! How the Hell am I supposed to make
Skylar
okay with this?! What the fuck are we supposed to do?! You expect
Michele
to jump in and assume the mother role that you just toss aside like it’s nothing?! No! I won’t allow it! No!”
Samantha was sobbing, but she shook her head and wiped her tears just like a lady before taking her husband’s hand. “The decision is made, Hayden. We leave at the end of the week. All the necessary paperwork is with your mother.”
“My
mother
knows?” He seemed absolutely disgusted.
Sam nodded, walking toward the door. “Yes, she does. In fact, it was her idea that I stay for as long as I have. It was her idea that I stay until I’d made things right and I was sure you and Sky could function without me.” She reached her hand up to her lips and blew him a kiss. “I love you Hayden. I always will.” She turned and gave me a smile. “Take care of them, Michele.”
I nodded, but I was too afraid to speak. I watched the two of them walk out the door, and in the same instant, Hayden dropped to the couch opposite me, his head in his hands.
I stood up and walked over to him, dropping to my knees in front of him and rubbing my hands up and down his arms. He shook violently, the veins on his neck and in his hands throbbing as his jaw worked.
“Hayden?” I asked softly, reaching up to touch his hand. “Hayden, tell me if there’s anything I can do.”
He lifted his head lethally slowly, his amber eyes full of tears. He took my face in his hands and crushed his lips against mine once, twice, three times, and then he pushed me away.
“Go outside and tell everyone the party is over. Then take your friends and go home,” he whispered. “I love you, Michele. I really do. But I need to be alone with my daughter right now.”
I nodded, trying to pretend that what he said hadn’t hurt, just a little bit. I hid the pain well, because it wasn’t about me. So I stood up, smoothed out my dress, then walked outside and did exactly what he’d asked.
Chapter Twenty One
The Second Date
It’d been an entire week since I’d last heard from Hayden. He hadn’t called me or text me, but I wasn’t self-centered enough to be upset about that. In fact, I was more worried than upset.
I was worried for him, and more than that, I was worried for Skylar, and how she’d reacted to her mom and her little sister moving far away from her. I knew that they’d left already—I’d gotten that much from Lizzie via text message. Lizzie also told me that Hayden had taken an indefinite leave from work the day after the party to comfort himself and his daughter, and his cell phone had been off ever since.
Brody wisely hadn’t approached me since the day of the party, and it was wise on his part because I just needed to be alone with my thoughts. I wasn’t even sure if either of those relationships were still on the table at that point, so I just kept to my lonesome.
However, my Week of the Hermit didn’t last very long, because that morning at breakfast, Brody asked to spend time with me later in the evening. He insisted that because I was in a funk, he wanted to try and make me feel better. What’s more is that he asked me to read the letter that he wrote me.
So, I agreed to spend time with him, and I laid out on my stomach on my bed, ripping the envelope open. I took a deep breath and started reading.
Michele,
I honestly don’t know where to begin. I miss you. Those are the only words that keep coming to mind. I miss you so much that it’s driving me insane. I knew that this was coming. Somehow, I knew that even the best, sweetest, most important thing in my life wasn’t going to last very long. I knew that I would fuck it up.
I told you, eventually you’d wake up and realize that you deserved better than some filthy vagabond who lets his dad kick his ass until he needs machines to breathe and drags his brother and sister from house to house, hoping that this time it might be permanent. I told you, eventually you’d find someone who’s worthy of you. You deserve better than a part time boyfriend who only wants you when he can’t have you. You deserve better than a guy who’s known you all his life and has been with you for nearly two years but can’t even tell you that he loves you. I know this. And still, I can’t force myself to do the right thing and let you go.
Do you remember our first date, Mich? God, you looked so gorgeous in those jean shorts and my football jersey, how it knotted behind your back and gave me just a slight glimpse of your stomach, your blond hair blowing in the breeze. Even then, you were trying to show me that you cared for me far more than I deserved. I remember wanting to kiss you the moment you stepped onto that football field, donning my name on your back like it was some sort of prized possession. The real trophy was you. I swear, I loved you then.
Remember when I taught you how to drive? Oh, you were such a fucking train wreck, but you were so adorable. I tried to be so patient with you, but you would just scrunch your nose and put a hand up to silence me—that only forced me to scream that you needed to keep both hands on the wheel. But you never took my shit. You always called me on it. You always told me when I was being an asshole, as you damn well should have. I swear, I loved you then.
Remember when you introduced me to your mom? I was shitting bricks. I knew that the one thing that mattered to you the most was your family, even if they didn’t know it, and I knew that meeting them was a big deal, but I was scared shitless. I remember you took me into your backyard and on the swing set, holding my hand as you promised me that no matter what happened, no matter what your mom thought, you were my girl and I was your boy, and nothing could ever change that. I swear, I loved you then.
Remember when we came to the lake house for Christmas? I gave you my mom’s ring and you cried, you cried so hard and I thought that you were going to break up with me. Instead, you did something worse. You told me that you loved me. I couldn’t say it back, but
God,
Michie, I fucking wanted to. The words were on the tip of my tongue, they were yearning to come out, but I couldn’t bring myself to say them even though I felt them. I swear, I loved you then.
Even then, though, it never made sense for you to love me. You’re beautiful, smart, and kind, Michie. You’re the kindest soul I know. And who the Hell am I? I’m Brody, just Brody. And for a long time, I truly believed that just Brody was good enough, even when there was this nagging voice deep in my soul that told me he wasn’t.