Never Say Goodbye (Rebel Walking #6) (7 page)

Chapter Eight

Lilly

I should've probably clarified to Luke that I didn't 'sleep' with Garrett, but it really is none of his business.  I wish it was, but it's not.  He made that clear yesterday. 

He stays on board the bus with me, and it's really an awkward attempt at a conversation.  I wish I could turn back time and never go there with him, but damn it was so good.  I'll probably always have him in the back of my head when I'm out with other guys, but it's obvious that he's nowhere near ready to settle down to one girl.  He needs to live it up while he's young and becoming famous. 

"Come eat some lunch with me."  He stands and pulls my hand toward the door. 

"I'm good."

"No.  Come with me.  I need to find food and this will be good for us to do something like we used to do."  How do you tell Luke Jacobs no?  I've yet to figure this out, so I rise up from my sitting position and walk behind the six foot solid muscle of man.

He leads me down the street to a small mom and pop cafe.  I watch him practically inhale his food and try to enjoy his conversation. 

"So what do you think about releasing our song at the next venue?"  He surprises me with this.  We wrote a couple of songs, but we weren't going to release this one until we felt it was perfect. 

"I thought we were going to work on it some more."

"Eh.  I think it's perfect the way it is.  It's rough around the edges, but so are we.  Taron and Talon will nail it and it'll be epic."  The excitement on his face reminds me why I love chilling with him so often.  He loves what he does.  His passion shines through in his performance and I share that same love of music.  This is why we usually get along great. 

"Yeah.  I guess you're right.  Let's run through it during warm-up and then release it during the next show." 

His playful personality starts to shine through again.  It's important that we reach that level of comfort we once had.  We'll be spending so many days together in the next few weeks, and I can't have the insanity that we've been dealing with while I'm trying to focus on our performance at each of these venues. 

My phone vibrates and I look to see that Garrett is sending me messages.  That's funny, because I didn't give him my number, yet my phone says 'Garrett' on the message header.

Garrett:  Hey, babe.  Looking forward to playing against you at the next show.

I look up at Luke and choose to put my phone in my pocket until I have time to concentrate on the text.  He seems to notice a change in me, but thankfully doesn't say anything about it.  The rest of our time out is spent just shooting the bull and talking about every day things.  Nothing specific or earth shattering happens. 

We move back to the bus when the rest of the crew messages us that it's time to load up for the short trip to the show.  I need a shower and this isn't a good situation to go into right before a concert. 

"Shit.  I need to shower and clean up before tonight."

"I'll tell them we'll meet them there.  Grab your stuff and come with me."  He starts to make a few phone calls and reservations at a hotel.

"We both need to shower, so I just got us a cheap room so we can clean up.  I told Taron that we'd meet them there before it's time to go on stage."  This is
not
a good idea, but I have no choice. 

We arrive at the hotel and he checks us in.  He opens the door to let me pass through first.  I take note of the kingsized bed and how comfortable it looks, but quickly take the bathroom.  My hair and makeup will take longer than his shower. 

He didn't say anything the whole way up the three flights to our room.  This is a little awkward, but I'm trying to work past it.  I need to let my feelings for him go.  I just can't stand that I'm attracted to him like this.  Too bad it's not a switch I can turn off and on when needed.

The shower feels so nice, and I try to rush so he has plenty of time in here, too.  Wrapping a towel around myself and another around my hair, I step out of the bathroom.  He's immediately watching me as I stroll past him.  I begin to rub lotion on my legs and attempt to act as nonchalant as possible.

I watch him watching me before he walks into the bathroom.  Knowing that sexy beast is naked in the next room does something to me.  I just wish we were at the same place right now in life, but we aren't even close.

I slide on my painted-on skirt and cleavage-baring shirt to get ready for tonight's concert.  Grabbing my blow dryer and flat iron, I take over the small desk in the room.  The mirror above it works in my favor and makes it easy to put on my makeup. 

I hear the water shut off and shortly after the door to the bathroom opens.  A flash of naked skin catches my eye, so I turn to see what he's doing. 

"Is there a reason that you're butt-ass naked?"  He's drying off, but he's moving the towel around so that I can see everything.

"I'm just drying off.  Do you have a problem with the way I dry off?"

"Really, Luke?"

"What?  I was just reacting to your show!" 

"My show?  I was just putting lotion on." 
Shit, he saw right through my intentions.
  I should've known he would.

"Right.... and I'm just drying off!" 

I turn to finish my hair, but the urge to turn and watch his gorgeous body while I have the chance is killing me.  A girl should be able to look and enjoy some eye candy when it's offered up in front of her.  At this rate, if I look over there, it's likely that I'll make us late to the concert. 

I should still be mad at him, but he has lifted my anger and somehow made me crave him again. 

That is so fucking not fair that I can hardly stand it.

Luke

Pestering her is what I do best.  This is why we've become such great friends.  I love to see the smile on her face, and when I act crazy she can't hide her emotions.  Her laugh is very seldom heard, but awesome if you get the chance to experience it. 

I finish drying off and get dressed in record time.  She's still primping when I finish, so I lie across the bed and begin scrolling through my phone.  There are six girls messaging me right now, trying to either hook up or talk about when we can get together to hook up.  Some of these girls don't mess around with formalities.

I probably get twenty nude pictures a day from different girls trying to catch my eye.  I'm not going to lie, some get my attention.  I’m a guy and I obviously enjoy a good time.  Lilly has never sent me a picture.  Her picture is in my head, and that's where it needs to stay. 

  We leave the hotel in search of a cab to take us to the venue.  After a couple of them pass us by, one finally stops.  Our drive isn't too bad, and if it wasn't for traffic it would've only been a few minutes long. 

I get the evil eye from the guys when we arrive.  I'm sure they think the worst of me right now, but I can handle it.  Getting their approval isn't really a concern of mine, especially since Lilly and I aren't exactly trying to become a couple.

Our warm-up sounds stiff and unconnected.  Lilly notices it, too, and puts all of us in our place.  She starts by nailing Talon to the wall.

"Talon, let the shit go.  We need to be at our best and we can't do that if half of us are pissed at the other half.  Fucking get over it.  I'm a grown woman who is capable of taking care of herself.  I don't need you guys fighting my battles.  As a matter of fact, I don't have any battles to fight, except with you right now.  So get the fuck over yourselves."

"Lilly, you know we just want what's best for you.  You deserve to be treated right and that's all we want."

"Yeah, well, what I want is a guy that's not afraid to grab me by the hair and fuck me hard, so at least
one
of us wins."  She turns and walks out of the small room.  The looks on Talon and Taron's faces are priceless.  My laughter escapes even though I try to hold it in.  If I'm not mistaken, this is their first glimpse of the sex kitten that I have recently met.  

Neither of them says another word.  Their shock and awkward expressions last a few minutes before we break the ice again.  She might be trying to kill me or get me killed, but I have to love the fact that she just handled these guys.  It's a very difficult job silencing these two, especially Taron. 

She returns to the room and we finally begin to work as a group again.  Our sound is near perfect and it almost feels like we're back to one hundred percent.  Talon grabs her in for a hug before we leave.  I can't hear what he says, but I can only assume he apologizes to her because of her reaction. 

Our concert goes as planned and it seems like everything is back to normal.  We decide not to encore Lilly's song tonight.  We'll take time to fine tune it on the road and reveal it in one of the concerts coming up.

After we move backstage, I notice Lilly talking to Garrett again.  She seems to be in to the conversation.  I shouldn't let him get to me, but the asshole does. 

Walking up to them, I notice him staring me down.  It doesn't stop me from continuing. 

"Yeah, so the fourth number will be ours?"

"Yes.  I'll bring you in from the right side, so stand over there until I bring you on."  He walks off and she turns toward me but doesn't look me in the face. 

"So, what has
he
cooked up?"

"Luke, he's just using me for one of their numbers in a duel type performance."

"Drums versus guitar?"

"Nah.  He’s goin' up against me on guitar.  I'm not worried about him.  I've got this."  Her confidence is well-deserved.  I know just how good she is—after all, this is something we do all the time.  This time she's going to take on another musician on his own stage.  If that isn't badass, I don't know what is. 

I've seen Garrett on the guitar.  He’s good, but she will have no problem keeping up with him.  A couple of my groupies stand close as I wait for her to go on.  The two of them tuck themselves in close to my sides.

I watch proudly as our girl steals the spotlight on stage with 'Beckoning Reality'.  She has fun with it and isn't afraid to tear it up.  They treat her with respect and they get the reaction they deserve.  The crowd goes wild in response to this never before seen performance. 

She seems comfortable with Garrett, almost as secure as she is with me on stage.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see her succeed, I'd just like to be a part of her success.

The lights go out and I wait for her to exit.  She goes the other direction, so I begin to move around the back to find her.  With the groupies on my heels, I see her step down into a group of fans.  Her smile is captivating and she's obviously loving this moment with her fans. 

I stand back and watch until a guy begins to grope her.  Holden and the guys are nearby and move in quickly, but the whole thing hits me wrong.  Storming through the crowd, I push my way until I reach this motherfucker.  He's cocky and obviously drunk as he stutters and starts to sway a little.  I hold him up by his shirt and pull his face right into mine.   

"Hands off of her, motherfucker."

"Ahh.  She likes it.  I'm sure she's a slut, dressed like that."  There's no need for any other words.  My grip on his shirt switches to his neck and quickly turns lethal.  Slamming him into the nearby wall becomes my one and only mission.  I want this fucker to shut his mouth.  Pushing through the fans again, I'm abruptly pulled to a stop.  Holden and Aiden both have my shoulders and both begin to pull him out of my grip. 

"He's not worth it, man.  Let it go."  I let Holden's words sink in.  If I assault this motherfucker like I want to, there'll definitely be controversy.  The last thing 'Rebel Walking' needs is any more publicity.  Thinking hard about all of the consequences, I release my grip of this bastard.  Aiden pulls him away and Holden stays to pull me out of the crowd. 

The fans part like the Red Sea when I begin to walk through.  The anger in my eyes and the pissed off look on my face probably has them all concerned for their own lives.  That fucker set me so far off. 
Who does he think he is touching her like that and acting like he has the right to it?

Searching for Lilly, I shove off Holden's hold on me.  I don't see her anywhere and it's frustrating the hell out of me.

"Where is she?"

"She's back on stage near Garrett.  He stopped playing the drums to pull her back on and away from all of this."

"What the fuck, Holden.  Tighten security before I kick your ass."

"Chill.  We had it under control.  You just need to calm the fuck down."

"I'll calm down when that asshole is out of my sight and I know she's okay."

"Follow me to the other side and you'll be able to see her."

Walking back around, I try to take a few deep breaths to calm my shit.  It pisses me off how quickly that set me off, but he deserved what I wanted to do to him.  He needs to show some damn respect.

Chapter Nine

Lilly

What the hell just happened?
  I swear shit gets out of control so quickly around here.  Watching Garrett strike through his solo on the drums is actually pretty hot.  Drummers always captivate me when they really get into it, especially when they're built like he is. 

I'm positioned near the stage, but toward the back like I'm Garrett's exclusive fan.  It's like a front row to him only on the sideline. 

Glancing across stage, I see Luke watching me.  His expression is chaotic and concerned.  I'm not sure what his deal is, but he needs to quit getting mad at me for talking to Garrett.  He's made it very clear that we aren't exclusive or even going to hook up any more at this point. 

Garrett just protected me from the crazy fans, so I can stand here and enjoy the show without feeling guilty.  I'll deal with Luke later. 

Their show ends with a bang and that last piece was badass.  As I wait for the lights to come back on, I'm pulled behind the curtain with a determined tug.  When we come to a stop, I feel Garrett up against me.  His breath blows over my face, almost like he's out of air from exertion. 

He pulls my face toward his and lays a kiss on my lips.  I hesitate briefly, but then join in when his tongue brushes over my lips.  We share a long kiss, wrapped up in a black curtain that shields us from being seen. 

It's soft and sensual,
so
unlike how I expected a kiss from him to be.  It goes on for a while before he pulls away.

"You are so damn sexy.  It should be illegal for you to look like you do.  I want a chance with you."  My laughter probably could have been timed a little better, but I can't help it.  This is Garrett talking to me like this. 

"What are you laughing at?  I should get a chance to show you the real me."  I know he isn't all bad.  He's proven he has somewhat of a nice bone in his body, but this is Garrett.

"Okay.  What do you have in mind?"

"Travel with me to the next venue.  Spend time with me on the bus and we'll get to know each other.  Then I'll take you to dinner or something when we get a chance.  Let's just be real with each other."

His request isn't out of line.  It's actually appealing to have a change of scenery for a long drive. 

"Okay.  I can handle that."  We move from our little space in the corner and walk back to the rest of his band.  He's holding my hand as we walk right in the path of Luke. 

"Lilly, are you good?"

"Yeah.  I'm good."

"I saw that asshole try to grope you."

"Yeah.  It's no biggie.  Garrett pulled me back into safety.  Thanks, though."  His eyes move over my hand inside of Garrett's, but he doesn't say anything or act like it bothers him.  I know where I stand with Luke, but that doesn't mean I can't wish he felt differently. 

Everyone scatters different ways after the crowd thins out.  Luke is nearby, but the rest of them are nowhere to be seen.  I appreciate the slow tour schedule so we have time to breathe between venues.  The last tour was ridiculously non stop.  There weren't very many nights in the hotel on that tour, but this time it helps that we have a baby going along with us. 

I wonder how long they'll bring Heaven on tour with us.  I know the grandmas plan to come get her for the last week of the tour, but other than that she's along for the ride.  She's at a good age for this.  She sleeps most of the time and we have enough of us that she's kept out of the commotion.  There's rarely a time that Taron isn't with her.  Actually, he's only away from her when he's on stage. 

"You ready to hit the bus with me?"

"Yeah.  I just need to grab a few things from my own.  Our group isn't leaving until morning."

"We're pulling out tonight."

"Okay.  Let me get my stuff while you load up the rest of your gear."  I walk over to Luke and see him working on two different girls.  He's a huge flirt and he knows it.  This works for him, it just sucks to watch from my side.

"Hey.  I'm going to ride with Garrett.  We're leaving out in the next couple of minutes."

"You sure about that?"  He walks toward me, leaving the skanks behind him. 

"Yeah.  He wants me to and I think it'll be interesting to get to know those guys."  He doesn't respond, only nods and begins to walk away. 

"Where are you going?" 

"I guess to find the others."  He's upset—I just don't get his hot and cold behavior all of the time.  It's exhausting to be on this side of his emotions. 

"What's the problem, Luke?"  If he tells me he wants me to go with him, I will in a second.  All I need to hear is one single expression that he wants to spend time with me and I'll drop all of my plans for this man.

He pauses in thought, but responds just like I knew he would.  "There's no problem, just be careful."

Disappointment has to spread across my face, because it flows through my body in record time.  I turn to walk to our bus to get my bag, and then remember I left it in the hotel room before the show.

"Shit.  I left my bag in your room."

"Do you have time to go get it?"

"I'll have to make time.  It's the one bag I have to take with me."

"I'll go with you to get it."

"Let me tell Garrett what's going on."

Walking over to tell Garrett, I notice the skanks lurking in the shadows again.  These bitches just don't know when to stop.  Don't they have any fucking morals?  I guess they don't if they're prepared to just stand by and be the doormat to all of these guys. 

I need to work on getting myself a group of guys just waiting on me to snap my finger before they fall to their knees for me.  That shit is just ridiculous and disgusting, but it's how it goes.  These girls just want a minute of time with these guys, just so they can tell everyone they did the deed with a rock star.

"Hey.  I left my bag at the hotel.  I'll have to go get it."  He pulls away from the group to address me.

"You want me to go with you?" 

"I'll get it.  Just text me when you're done here and maybe you can swing by to get me."

"Sounds good."  He raises his eyes to Luke over my shoulder and pulls me in for another kiss.  This one is rough, just like he's marking his territory right here in front of everyone.  It almost pisses me off, until he ends it softer, reminding me of our previous encounter.

I leave the area knowing Luke will follow me out.  This is awkward, and I don't even want to hear him complain about Garrett or start dogging him.  It's a known fact that Luke doesn't like Garrett, but he doesn't have to approve of who I see.  It would be easier if he did, but it isn't a requirement.

"You really like that bastard, don't you?"

"Ehh.  It's Garrett.  He's fun to hang out with.  I'm not sure anything will ever come of it, but I may as well have some fun in the process."  He drops the subject of Garrett and attempts to make small talk while we travel to the hotel.  There are a couple of times I'm screaming in my head for him to just ask me to stay with him. 

Just ask me to stay.  Please.  I want that more than anything.

Luke

I can't believe she wants to spend time with him.  He's such a pompous ass who disrespects women all the time.  I may get around, but I always treat the ladies right.  Telling her how I feel again will only cause more problems between us.  It's time I leave her alone about him, but I'll be watching closely.  If I see a single sign that he disrespects her, I'll rearrange his face. 

Our ride to the hotel is quiet.  I wish I could say something to make her reevaluate what she's about to do, but she's made it clear what she wants.  In the grand scheme of things, it's just a road trip with him.  Maybe she'll realize his lack of worth and I'll never have to worry about this again.

"How much time do you have?"

"Not long.  I'd like to hurry and shower again if at all possible."

"Yeah.  No problem." 

When we hit the room, she begins to scurry around for the shower.  I stand still and watch her scattered thoughts leave her almost ridiculously giddy about leaving soon. 

The sound of the water again reminds me just how close, yet so far away she really is.  I could go into the bathroom and push my way into the shower with her.  That's exactly what I want to do, but that wouldn't be fair to her.  She needs to be able to step out of our circle and have a good time with other guys.  It's just not supposed to suck this bad for me. 

She turns off the water and I hope she makes another appearance like she did before, but she doesn't.  She comes out of the bathroom fully dressed, but to my satisfaction she's wearing a hoodie and sweat pants.  This isn't screaming sexy and I'm happy to see that it’s how she'll be going to Garrett.

"Just text me when you guys are about an hour from location tomorrow.  I'll watch for you and try to get as much of the small stuff out of the way during the day." 

"I will, but I'm texting you through the night to make sure you make it okay."

"You don't have to.  I'll be with their whole crew."

"Exactly why I'll be checking on you."

"Don't start, Luke."  She seems irritated as she checks her phone for the message that just came through.

"They're here.  I guess I'll see you tomorrow."  I move to open the door for her and watch her walk out of my room.  The instant regret of not trying to stop her fucks me over the rest of the night.  Choosing not to leave my hotel room is easy.  Dealing with the shit going through my head, not so much.

The next day goes by slow as hell.  Aiden and a couple of the other guys attempt to brighten my mood with no success.  I know I suck to be around, but I really don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me right now.  I haven't texted her, trying to give her the privacy she deserves.  She should've checked in, but she hasn't.  We're almost two hours from location, so I'm trying to hold out until we're closer to text her.

This shit shouldn't be irritating me so hard, but it is. 

Damn it.