New Adventures of the Mad Scientists' Club (20 page)

       
"They must be on an island somewhere," said Homer.

       
"Great deduction, Snodgrass! Great deduction!" said Mortimer
caustically.

       
"The only question is
where
," Jeff observed. "
What
island are they on?"

       
"Probably Strawberry Lake," I ventured.

       
"But there's plenty of islands in the river too. How we gonna search them
all?" said Homer.

        "We
don't have to search them all," said Henry, in his usual matter-of-fact
manner. "We have the answer right here."

       
"Oh, oh!" said Mortimer. "The great Mulligan has the magic
answer, as usual."

       
"There's no magic to it at all," said Henry, pointing at Kaiser Bill.
"Kaiser knows which island they're on. All we have to do is follow
him."

        And
follow him we did. Zeke waved the bologna sandwich in front of Kaiser's nose
and said, "Go, boy, go!" and off he went. Jeff and I had the job of
following him cross-country, because we're both pretty good runners, and the
rest of them piled into Zeke's old junk truck, Richard the Deep Breather. My job
was to run like blazes and keep Kaiser Bill in sight so he wouldn't outdistance
us. Jeff is bigger than I am, and can't run quite as fast; so it was up to him
to keep up as best he could, and act as a radio relay to the truck so Henry
could know where we were heading. Our two-way radios are pretty good; but you
never can tell when a hill or some dense woods or a freak atmospheric
disturbance is going to mask your transmission. So it's best to use a relay
whenever you can to make sure your messages get through.

        We
needed it all right, because Kaiser Bill led me through everything you can
imagine as he raced through swamps, woods, gullies, and over the crests of
hills on a beeline toward the point on the lakeshore opposite the island where
he had left Freddy and Dinky. Every time we'd pass some prominent landmark like
a hill, or a big tree, or a rockpile, or an old tumbledown sheep shelter, I'd
stop for a few seconds and pant out directions to Jeff on the radio. Sometimes
he'd make me repeat them three or four times because I was so out of breath he
couldn't understand me, and I'd get mad and shout things I shouldn't say on the
air. But, somehow we managed to keep in communication, and Jeff scrambled on
after me, and Zeke kept maneuvering Richard the Deep Breather through a network
of back roads and old logging trails, trying to keep close to us.

        At the
lakeshore, Kaiser Bill scampered over pile after pile of huge boulders and
fallen tree trunks lining the water's edge, and came to a stop in the middle of
a small stretch of sandy beach. He stood poised like a pointer for a moment,
with one foreleg crooked under his chest, and the black button of his nose
sniffing the air in the direction of a rocky island. Then he pranced up the
beach and back again, in a sort of stiff-legged canter, looking out toward the
island, and then back at me. Then he planted both forepaws in the water and
started lapping up huge gulps of the stuff. Then he went through the prancing
act again.

        I got
the message, all right. He wanted me to swim out to the island with him, but I
was too out of breath to move another inch. I slapped my thigh and called him
over to me, and I petted him and ruffled the scruff of his neck. Then I flopped
down in the sand and called Jeff on the radio.

       
"Hey, Jeff, I think we found the island," I gasped, without bothering
about all that corny radio procedure you're supposed to use. "Roger! I
read you. Stand by, Green One," Jeff answered. He can be so formal
sometimes, it makes you sick.

        In a few
minutes Jeff was back on the air again, after checking with Henry. "Red
One says to pull back off that beach and keep out of sight!" he told me.

       
"Keep out of sight? What's going on? Aren't we going to rescue Dinky and
Freddy?"

       
"This is Red One. You have your orders, Green One! Do as you're told, and
keep the messenger with you. And you better brush up on your radio procedure
too! You're giving away vital information. This is not a secure net. Over and
out."

        After
all the running I had done, this hit me in the face like a wet towel. I pressed
the "talk" button on my handset and cut loose with a big fat
raspberry: "Pfffffrrrrrttttt! How do you like that information, oh Big Red
Raspberry!" I shouted. "This is Green Apples signing off!" And I
shut my radio off.

        But I
knew better than to disregard Henry's instructions. Henry sometimes moves in
mysterious ways, but he almost always knows what he's doing. So I called Kaiser
Bill back from the water's edge, and the two of us climbed a little way up the
steep slope of the hill behind the beach and hid among the trees. It seemed
like an hour, but it was probably only about fifteen minutes before I heard A
rock crash through the trees and plop into the water about a hundred feet to
our left. Kaiser Bill sprang to his feet and an explosive growl burst from his
throat. I threw my arms around his neck and held him, and whispered in his ear
to calm him down. Every muscle in his body was tensed, and I could feel him
trembling under my grip. Suddenly he relaxed and I saw the figures of Henry and
Jeff scrambling over the pile of boulders at one end of the little beach. They
kept close to the tree line, and once they had gotten past the barrier of the
rocks they darted into the cover of overhanging branches and ran toward Kaiser
and me in a crouch, as though somebody was looking down the backs of their
necks.

       
"Have you guys gone nuts?" I asked. "What's with all the
Commando stuff?"

       
"Henry figures if Freddy and Dinky are on that island, Harmon's gang must
have it under surveillance," Jeff explained. "We don't want them to
know that we've found out where they are."

       
"Why not? Is this a war, or somethin'?"

       
"You might call it that," said Henry, when he had caught his breath,
"and we've got to teach Harmon and his gang a lesson."

        I just
sat there and watched as Henry and Jeff tied a plastic bag around Kaiser Bill's
neck. It contained one of our two-way radios, a tiny signal transmitter like
the ones used to track birds and small animals, a roll of tape, a knife,
matches, and a note. The note told Dinky to tape the little transmitter
somewhere in his huge mop of hair, so we would always know where they were if
Harmon's gang took them off the island. If Harmon's gang did come back, they
were to hide the radio somewhere on the island. Meanwhile, they were to stay
where they were, and if they had to stay on the island all night we would send
food and blankets to them after it got dark.

        "I
betcha Freddy will swim to shore before he waits that long for something to
eat," I said.

       
"You might be right," Henry answered, "but it ought to be
interesting to find out how much the love of food dominates his
psychology." Henry is always the complete scientist. He looks at
everything in life as just another experiment.

        When the
bag had been tied securely, I pointed to the island and said, "Go!"
to Kaiser Bill. That was all he needed. He shot down the slope of the hill and
plunged into the water. All you could see of him was the smooth brown part of
his head between his folded ears, and his black snout sticking out of the water
as he paddled toward the island.

        But
Henry had been right. Kaiser Bill was no more than halfway to the island when
we saw two figures in a small rowboat putting out from a small cove some
distance to the south of us. Jeff trained his binoculars on the boat.

       
"That's Buzzy McCauliffe and Joe Turner," he said. "I guess
they're going out to investigate."

        They
were heading for the island all right, but Kaiser Bill was there far ahead of
them. We decided to wait where we were and see what happened; but we couldn't
see too much, because the boat went around to the far side of the island where
Kaiser Bill had gone. In a few minutes we saw it come back into view, however,
and Jeff trained the glasses on it again.

       
"Well, I wonder what all that was about?" he mused. "There's
still two guys in the boat, but Kaiser Bill is sitting up in the bow! Hey! It's
Freddy and Dinky! What gives?"

        We found
out in a few minutes. Freddy and Dinky pulled the boat in among the rocks below
us, laughing their heads off. When Buzzy and Joe Turner had nosed up to the
beach where Freddy and Dinky were sitting in the shade of a tree reading
Henry's note, Kaiser Bill had dashed to the water's edge with his hair standing
on end and bared his teeth.

       
"What's that dog doing here?" Buzzy shouted.

        "He
lives here!" Dinky shouted back.

       
"Will he bite?"

       
"Why don't you come on in and find out."

        Joe
Turner pulled the boat a little closer in, and Buzzy stood up in the bow as if
to jump onto the beach. Fortunately he only pretended to, because Kaiser Bill
let the boat get within about ten feet of shore, then lunged through the air
straight at Buzzy. Buzzy toppled over backwards and splashed into the water
with his arms flailing. Kaiser Bill's momentum carried him right into the boat,
where he ended up with his wet nose sliding right up the back of Joe Turner's
neck. Joe didn't even turn around to find out what had happened. He just dove
over the stern of the boat and swam for dear life. His dive propelled the boat
into shore with Kaiser Bill in complete command, a piece of Joe's shirt dangling
from his jaws.

        Dinky
grabbed Kaiser Bill by the collar and held the boat. He and Freddy clambered
into it, with Freddy at the oars and Dinky standing up in the prow with a
growling Kaiser Bill under a firm grip.

        "We
just wanted to take you back to shore," Buzzy sputtered, standing
waist-deep in the water.

       
"Tell it to the marines!" Freddy taunted.

       
"Thanks, but we can make it OK," Dinky added. They were still
shouting wisecracks and laughing as Freddy pulled out of sight around the end
of the island.

        When
Dinky had finished describing what had happened, we pulled the rowboat back in
among the trees, slipped it in between two huge boulders, and covered it with
brush. Then we took off to where Zeke was waiting with the truck.

        We all
went back to the clubhouse, where Henry spent fifteen minutes leaning back
against the wall on his piano stool, gazing up into the roof rafters, while the
rest of us played mumbletypeg on the barn floor. Kaiser Bill was stretched out
on his stomach right in front of the door, gnawing on a huge bone from Mrs.
Crocker's kitchen. Mortimer is usually the champ at mumbletypeg, but this time
I won three games from him before the front legs of Henry's stool hit the floor
and we all turned to find out what brilliant idea the great mind had come up
with this time. But Henry didn't say anything for a while. He just sat there
wiping the lenses of his horn-rimmed glasses clean. Finally he put them back on
his nose and looked at all of us as though he hadn't realized we were there.

       
"What do we do now, O High Mogul?" I asked him.

       
"We've got to get a message to Harmon," he answered, "and you're
going to take it, Charlie."

       
"We're gonna scare the pants off them," said Henry. "At last, I
have Harmon right where I want him. He fell into this beautifully."

       
"Fell into what?" I asked.

       
"Never mind," said Henry, "but it wasn't any accident that
Freddy and Dinky were here in the clubhouse this morning with the door
unlocked."

        Henry
wrote out a note for me to take up to Memorial Point. It said:

        IF
FREDDY AND DINKY AREN'T BACK AT OUR CLUBHOUSE BY FOUR O'CLOCK THIS AFTERNOON,
WE WILL REPORT THEIR DISAPPEARANCE TO THE POLICE. THANKS FOR LEAVING THE TAPE
WITH YOUR VOICE ON IT.

        MULLIGAN

       
"Why didn't we tell the police in the first place?" Homer asked.

       
"You know I wouldn't do a thing like that," Henry replied. "It
would spoil all the fun. But Harmon doesn't know that."

        Then
Henry pulled Dinky and Freddy aside and gave them some secret instructions, and
sent them packing with Kaiser Bill trotting alongside. Homer and I got on our
bicycles and pedaled out to Memorial Point, where we put Henry's note under a
rock behind the old Civil War cannon. We rode back down the trail a bit, then
hid our bicycles and circled back through the brush to hide in the bushes
behind the clearing where the cannon and the statues stand. Pretty soon we saw
Speedie Brown, one of the best tree climbers in Harmon's gang, come swinging
down out of a big oak tree. He got the note from under the rock, read it, and
stuffed it in his pocket. Then he pulled his bicycle out of the bushes and took
off down the road.

       
"I'm sure he's heading for Harmon's clubhouse," Henry said, when we
reported in on the radio. "We've got that covered. You go out to the lake
and see if he shows up there, where Buzzy and Joe Turner were supposed to be
watching the island."