New Beginnings (36 page)

“Dora, I’m glad you’re here,” Drake said. “I’d like you to meet my house guest, Cassidy Ross. Cassidy, this is Dora Wright, Caleb’s mother.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, Mrs. Wright,” Cassidy said, extending her hand.

“Please, call me Dora,” she said, taking Cassidy’s hand in both of hers.

“Dora’s husband, Harry, works security at the gatehouse. You’ll meet him soon enough,” Drake said.

“I look forward to it,” Cassidy said, smiling at Drake’s housekeeper.

“I’ve decided I won’t be going out after all, Dora. You can set the table in the dining room and call us when dinner is ready. I’m going to show Cassidy to her room.”

“Take your time,” Dora said, waving them off. “I’ll be taking the roast out in about twenty minutes.”

“That’s perfect,” he said, taking Cassidy’s hand as he led her toward a winding staircase. Looking up the dozens of stairs leading to the top, he said, “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. These stairs—”

“It’s fine,” she said, reaching for the wood capping off the hand-made gilded iron railing. “The physiotherapist told me exercise is good for me.”

“If you say so,” he muttered, holding her other hand as he slipped a protective arm around her waist. The staircase was wide enough for him to fall in to step beside her.

Leaning in to him, allowing him to support her with his strength, would have been too easy. Cassidy had to learn to stand on her own again, without Drake’s help. “I’m fine,” she whispered, embarrassed by his attention.

He looked down at her, his gaze falling to her lips. “Humor me.”

By the time they made it to the top of the stairs, Cassidy was feeling winded. Her punctured lung was healing nicely according to the doctors, but she still struggled to breathe normally at times.

“Are you okay?” he asked, when they got to the top of the stairs. He turned her to face him, his hands on her hips as his eyes searched her face for some sign of distress.

“I’m fine,” she said, trying to draw shallow breaths. “I just need a minute to catch my breath.”

He glared at the path they’d just navigated. “Damn it. I knew that was gonna be too much for you. Why don’t I have a hospital bed brought in? We’ll set it up in the sitting room downstairs and—”

“No,” she said, pressing her palm into his chest. She pulled it away quickly as she felt his taut muscle flex in response to her touch. “That won’t be necessary.” Feeling a little stronger, she drew a breath. “I just want to feel normal again. Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me…” Just thinking about how much her hospital bills must have cost made her head hurt. She vowed she would pay him back every cent… somehow.

“But you want me to stop hovering?” He gave her a lop-sided grin. “I can promise I’ll try, but…” He brushed a strand of hair off her face. “When I think about what that sick bastard did to you, I just wanna protect you.”

Shocked by his fierce possessiveness, Cassidy tried to make light of it when she recovered enough to speak. “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong man. If I learned one thing, it’s that I can’t save the world.”

“No, you can’t. You need to worry about taking care of yourself right now, and until you can do that, I’m gonna be right there whenever you need someone to lean on.”

She knew his motivation was borne of guilt and sorrow for her plight, not love, but it was still nice to have his support. “Thanks, but I won’t get used to it.” She squared her shoulders. “I’ll be out of your hair just as soon as I can. I promise.”

Drake couldn’t remember the last time he’d enjoyed a woman’s company as much. Yes, he could. It was just over a year ago when Cassidy had surprised him with his favorite dinner for his birthday. She hadn’t been able to afford an expensive gift, but she’d done everything in her power to make the night unforgettable. She’d succeeded. His recent birthday had paled in comparison.

“I can’t believe you produced that album,” she said, her eyes shining with excitement. “It’s my favorite. They’re so talented, aren’t they?”

For a split second Drake allowed himself to forget their history. He was able to pretend she was in his home as his wife, sharing a meal at the end of a long day. That’s how it would have been, if not for… He wouldn’t let himself go there, not tonight.

Refilling her wine glass, he said, “Working with them has been a lot of fun. They’ve got a bright future ahead of them in this business.”

She brought her glass to her lips and a look of sorrow passed her face. “Lucky them.”

“Are you still writing music?” he asked.

“I am,” she said, taking a sip of wine before setting it back down on the table.

She’d barely touched the fine vintage, explaining that she preferred not to overindulge, given her history with drug abuse. He respected the fact that she’d managed the pain virtually on her own, using meditation and visualization techniques Phil had taught her. Drake didn’t understand it, but if it gave her relief from the pain without putting her at risk of a setback, he was all for it.

He couldn’t deny she wasn’t the same woman she’d been when they were together. She was stronger, more confident. As though the struggles she’d had to endure this past year had built her up instead of torn her down.

“I’d love to hear some of your new material,” he said, raising his wine glass to his lips. He hesitated, waiting for her to respond. When she looked uncertain, he said, “You don’t want to share them with me?”

“Um, I haven’t shared them with anyone. They’re deeply personal. Writing about my experiences has been an important part of the healing process for me.”

“That’s understandable, Cassidy. You’re a song writer. That’s how writers express themselves, right?” He’d always been in awe of her talent as a song writer. He knew she could have made a name for herself selling her music to recording artists, but she guarded her body of work in the hopes she would one day make it to the big stage and be able to perform her songs for her fans.

“I guess so.” She tossed the napkin beside her plate and shifted in her seat as though she was trying to work out an ache or pain. “Writing has always been a part of me. It’s like my muse is my guide. The very best part of me.” She smiled. “She knows what to say and what not to say, where I need to go and how I’m going to get there.” Laughing, she said, “She’s much smarter than I am.”

“You’re a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for.” He reached for her hand, helping her to her feet. “Let’s go in to the living room and relax for a bit before we turn in.”

Dora had been in to collect their plates and offer dessert and coffee more than an hour before. She wished them a good night and said she was turning in to finish reading a book she couldn’t tear herself away from.

Drake had enjoyed watching the natural rapport developing between Dora and Cassidy. She was very maternal, exactly the kind of person Cassidy needed in her life. He hoped they would develop a solid friendship during the time Cassidy spent with them.

She settled on the oversized chair, he on the sofa. He was hoping she would join him, but after that impromptu kiss on his front porch, she was probably afraid to get too close.

He looked up and caught her gazing longingly at the baby grand piano in the corner of the room. “If you’d like to play, you’re more than welcome.”

“Oh no,” she said, biting her bottom lip. “I couldn’t. I mean, it’s been a while.”

He frowned. “Do you still play guitar?”

“Um, no,” she said, dipping her head.

He could see the blush stain her cheeks. She was obviously embarrassed by his line of questioning, but he was too curious to relent. “What happened to yours?” He knew she’d waited tables in high school for two whole summers to be able to afford it. It wasn’t a showpiece by any stretch of the imagination, but she claimed it had sentimental value.

“It was stolen… from the center. I guess one of the residents was desperate for drug money.” She lifted a shoulder and he could tell how much it was costing her to act nonchalant about losing such a big part of herself. “They wouldn’t have gotten much for it.” She forced a smile. “I didn’t think it was worth anything to anyone but me.”

“How do you write without access to instruments?”

“I usually borrow from the guys in the band when I can. You know, write the lyrics first and then work out the melody when I can snag a guitar for a couple of hours at a time.”

He caught her rubbing the bare spot on the ring finger of her left hand. “I’m sorry that bastard took your ring.”

Her eyes welled up with tears but she quickly looked away, hiding her eyes from him. “He demanded the ring, but I put up a fight. I know it was stupid, but I told him he couldn’t have it. That’s when things got really ugly.”

Drake hated the fact that she’d almost lost her life over a material possession that represented a week’s salary for him. “It wasn’t worth it,” he said, watching her carefully, hoping he could convince her to let her guard down and talk about what happened that night.

“It was worth it to me,” she said quietly. “He was trying to take not one, but two things that are precious to me.”

He frowned, trying to follow her train of thought. “Two things? What else did he want? The car?”

“My body,” she whispered.

It was nearly impossible for Drake to suppress the rage when he thought about how that night must have impacted Cassidy.

“There was a time when I gave my body freely and hated myself for it.”

He remembered her confiding in him about her promiscuity during her teen years. She said she just wanted to feel loved, so she began to equate sex with love in her drug-induced state. It wasn’t until she went into a recovery program that she began to see acknowledge how wrong she was.

“So I decided I wouldn’t have sex again unless…” She glanced at him quickly before tearing her eyes away. “I was married.”

He couldn’t hide his shock at that statement. He’d often used sex as a coping mechanism this past year and assumed she had been doing the same. “Are you serious?”

“I guess you could say I’m a born-again virgin.” She smiled. “It’s been good for me.”

Drake couldn’t imagine how living without sex could be a good thing. He didn’t know if she was sharing this information because she wanted him to know she hadn’t been with anyone else or because she was trying to tell him she didn’t intend to let the kiss they’d shared evolve in to something more.

She cleared her throat delicately. “After the mistake I made with Lee, I couldn’t even think about being intimate with someone else.”

He didn’t want to talk about what happened that night, but he sensed it was an important part of her healing process so he let her continue without interrupting her.

“He used me and I hated that I let him.”

Drake still had so much repressed anger about that night. He hadn’t seen or spoken to his brother since, nor did he want to, yet here he was with the woman who’d betrayed him. He knew letting Cassidy back in to his life wasn’t the smartest decision he’d ever made, but his conscience wouldn’t let him rest knowing she’d been forced to go back to that center.

When the silence lingered, she pointed at the piano. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“By all means.” He watched her slide on to the bench carefully and he knew her body had a long way to go before it was fully healed. He was glad she was here with him, so he could make sure she took care of herself.

Caressing the keys with her slim fingers, she closed her eyes and the room filled with the sweet melody of a song he’d never heard before.

He stared at her, mesmerized, as the music transformed her in to someone he hadn’t seen in a long time. Gone was the sweet, shy girl with a world of hurt in her big, brown eyes. In her place was a strong, confident woman who knew she’d been blessed with an incredible gift.

The song speared his soul because he knew every word had come straight from her heart. It was a song about love, loss, and finding a way to move on when the only recourse was surrendering to an early demise.

She looked up at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

“That night in the hospital…” He cleared his throat as her words resonated in his head. “Did you really think about taking your life?”

“When you feel like hope is gone, sometimes it seems like the only solution,” she said quietly, looking down at her hands as they stroked the keys. “But I’m a fighter. I’ve had to be. Checking out too soon is the coward’s way out…” She looked him in the eye. “No matter what you might think of me, I’m not a coward, Drake.”

He sucked in a breath, struck by the conviction he heard in her words. “I never thought you were.”

“I stayed in Nashville because I had something to prove to you and myself. I’m not a quitter and I refuse to believe that God blessed me with this gift because he intended for me to waste it. I believe I’m supposed to share it. Even if it’s just singing in the church choir—”

“Wait a minute,” he said, holding his hand up. “You’re telling me you sing in the church choir?”

She laughed at his obvious astonishment. “Believe me, no one is more surprised by that turn of events than I was. Phil and Susan take turns going to church every Sunday, since they can’t leave the center unattended. Susan invited me to go with her once. I was reluctant at first, but I was surprised to find that I felt at home there. Outside of the center, it was the first place I’d felt truly accepted.”

He tried not to take it personally, knowing she’d never felt he accepted her completely. “I’m glad you found a place you feel you belong.”

“It’s really helped me put my life into perspective,” she said, smiling. “I’d never considered myself a spiritual person before, but now I’m beginning to think there may be a purpose for me to be here after all.”

“I know there is, Cassidy.” They shared a smile and she shifted on the bench, facing him. “Did you always know what you wanted to do with your life?”

He realized she’d never asked him that question before. “Yeah, I think so.” He chuckled. “If I’d been as gifted as you are, I probably would’ve wanted to be front and center, but since that wasn’t in the cards for me…”