New Beginnings (34 page)

“You need to go home and get some rest. Grab a hot shower and a bite to eat. You’ll feel better.”

If only his problems could be solved so easily. “I think I’ll just grab a room at a hotel nearby. I don’t want to venture too far, in case, you know, she needs me.”

A nurse approached, handing Drake his credit card. “There are a few forms you need to sign, but that can wait.”

J.T. leaned forward, bracing his forearms on his knees. “You’re takin’ care of all of her medical expenses?”

“Figured it was the least I could do.”

If she’d come after him for half of everything he owned, they probably would’ve settled for tens of millions of dollars, but she’d walked away with nothing except a suitcase full of clothes and some jewelry. She hadn’t even taken the most expensive pieces tucked away in the safe.

“You know she’d fight you on that if she could.” J.T. smirked. “She’s one of the most stubborn women I’ve ever met, except for my wife and daughter, maybe. I think that’s why I liked her so much, she reminded me of them.”

“Please don’t do that,” Drake whispered, closing his eyes.

“Do what?”

“Don’t talk about her in the past tense. I’m not ready to let her go yet.”

“Jesus, I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s okay.” Drake raised his hand. “I know you didn’t.” Getting to his feet, he said, “We may as well get out of here.”

“Phil asked me to give them your contact information at the front desk,” J.T. said, falling in to step beside him.

“He told the doctor I was still her fiancée. That’s the only reason they let me in to see her.” He didn’t know how he would have reacted if they’d denied him access to her, but he suspected he may be sharing a cell with the son of a bitch who’d put Cassidy in here if Phil hadn’t intervened.

“I know. He told me.”

They travelled through the hospital in silence and Drake pulled a deep breath of crisp air into his lungs as soon as they got outside. It felt good, until his conscience reminded him that Cassidy may never know the simple pleasure of breathing fresh air again.

***

Cassidy tried to open her eyes, but it felt like metal clamps were holding her eyelids closed. She moaned, trying to talk, but nothing came out. It felt like a lead weight was resting on her chest, making speech impossible.

“It’s okay,” a familiar voice whispered, squeezing her hand. “Don’t try to talk. I’ll get the doctor.”

She tried to tell him she was fine, she didn’t need a doctor, but the words wouldn’t come.

After shuffling, shouting, and the sound of hurried footsteps, she heard another man’s voice.

“Well, it’s nice to see you’ve decided to rejoin us, Miss Ross. It was touch and go there for a while.”

She had no idea what he was talking about it and didn’t have the strength to ask him. Warm hands started poking and prodding her. She wanted to protest, but she felt like a prisoner inside of her own body. Feeling frustrated, she tried to sit up, but strong hands eased her back on the pillow.

“Easy now,” the calm male voice said. “You’ve been through quite an ordeal. You’re not ready to go anywhere just yet.”

She couldn’t argue with that. Opening her eyes and forming a sentence seemed like a monumental task. She couldn’t imagine the effort it would require to take a step.

“I’ll let you rest for now, but I’ll be back to check on you in a little while. Your fiancée can buzz the nurse if you need anything.”

Her fiancée?
What was he talking about?

“Thank God you woke up. It’s been six days. I came back the morning after surgery and they told me they had to induce a coma so your body could start to heal. I was so afraid you were never gonna wake up.”

When she felt warm lips against her palm, she forced her eyes open a crack to see if she was actually seeing what she believed she was hearing. Was that really Drake’s voice? What was he doing here… pretending to be concerned about her?

“What…?” she whispered, when she saw his face.

“Sssh,” he said, clasping her hand a little tighter. “Don’t try to talk, baby. You’ve been through hell. It’ll all come back, I promise. I just don’t want you to rush it.”

“Happened?” she whispered, unable to string two words together.

“I don’t think we should talk about that right now. Maybe when you’re feelin’ stronger.”

“Pl…ease.”

He sighed and she heard the scrape of his chair across the floor as he got to his feet.

“It happened at the center. Apparently, you were trying to help one of the residents—”

“Bill,” she whispered. It was coming back to her. He attacked her. In the alley behind the center. He tried to… Her head started pounding and she tried to raise her hand to her temple, but was only able to lift it an inch or two before she was forced to let it fall back to rest on the bed. “Hurts.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Drake said, brushing his finger over her cheek. “Everything is gonna hurt for a while.”

She wanted to know why he was here, being so sweet to her, pretending he still cared when they both knew he despised her. “Where… is…?” Her throat was parched. She tried to swallow, but her mouth seemed too dry. “Bill?”

“That son of a bitch is in jail where he belongs. Lucky for him. Trust me, he’s safer in there ’cause if I ever get my hands on him, I’ll make him wish he’d never laid eyes on you.”

He sounded almost like the man she used to know. Fiercely protective of the people he loved. Except he didn’t love her anymore. He hadn’t for a long time.

“My… head… chest…” Her whole body ached. She had no idea the extent of her injuries, but it felt like she should be in a full body cast.

“I know. When they brought you in, you’d sustained internal injuries, a head injury, and collapsed lung. They had to perform surgery. Fortunately, they didn’t think you’d suffer permanent brain damage from the head injury, despite the swelling. You were lucky.”

She didn’t feel lucky. She felt wretched. “Phil?”

“He and Susan have been here every day to check on you, even though they wouldn’t let them in the room to see you. J.T. and Nikki have been here too.”

If Drake knew that Susan and Phil had been here every day it must have been because he’d been there as well. “Why?” She was frustrated with her inability to communicate her questions. She wanted answers and it seemed he was the only one who could provide them.

“Sweetheart,” he said, sitting down in the chair he’d vacated. “Please, don’t overdo it. I just want you to rest right now. I promise we’ll talk soon when you’re feeling up to it.” He brushed a gentle hand over her bandaged head.

“Now.” She didn’t want to wait days or weeks to find out why he was here playing the part of attentive lover when they both knew he could barely stand the sight of her. What was his angle?

Releasing her hand, he sat back in the chair, sighing. “Fine, I’ll tell you what I know. This Bill person...”

She tried to shake her head, but the slight action caused pain to ricochet through her skull, making her wince.

“Are you okay? Do you need something for the pain?”

“No.” Given her history, the last thing she needed was drugs to numb the pain. She’d rather endure every throbbing, stabbing, ache, pain and twinge than slip back into that cursed oblivion. Since she didn’t seem capable of voicing more than one word at a time, she had to hope he understood her meaning when she said, “You.”

He remained silent so long, she thought he was waiting for more, but he finally said, “You’re wondering why I’m here? That’s a fair question under the circumstances.”

“Hate…” A tear of frustration slid past her lashes. “Me.”

“No, baby,” he said, taking her hand in his. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.” He kissed her hand. “I was angry. I admit that, but I went too far. I’m sorry.”

He was asking for her forgiveness? Was he serious? There was so much she wanted to say, but couldn’t. Instead, she had to wait for him to continue.

“I was devastated when I found you with Lee, but that didn’t give me the right to ruin your life. I should have ended our relationship and just found a way to move on, but I couldn’t. I needed revenge. I needed to make you hurt the way I was hurting. I’m not proud of what I did, but…”

She didn’t blame him for trying to get even; he had every right to hate her. In his mind, she’d thrown away months of being clean and jumped in to bed with his brother while he was away on a business trip. On their anniversary no less.

True, she had cursed her ex a time or two when she couldn’t get a decent gig, when she had to walk because she couldn’t put gas in her car, or go without food because she didn’t have a dollar for a donut, but he wasn’t to blame. She was. She’d trusted the wrong person. Again. It seemed to be a pattern for her, and her poor judgement had finally landed her in this hospital bed, fighting for her life.

Drake didn’t have to tell her that her life had been hanging in the balance. She could feel the remnants of near-death in every pore of her body.

“S’okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. You wouldn’t be lying here if it wasn’t for me. I did this to you.”

“No.”

The nurse walked in and Cassidy was able to open her eyes just enough to see her sympathetic smile. “The doctor said we can move you to a private room today, Cassidy. Of course, you’ll have to spend a couple more weeks with us, but then you’ll be free to go home and recuperate.”

“No… home.”

She saw Drake and the nurse exchange a brief look before he said, “She’ll be comin’ home with me.”

“No!” The strain of raising her voice took its toll and Cassidy winced.

“Relax, sweetheart,” Drake said, rubbing her forearm. “We have time to sort all this out.”

At least now she understood why he was here trying to help her. He was feeling guilty. The only thing she had left was her pride. There was no way she would become his charity case. No matter how bleak things seemed, she would find a way to pull through. She always did.

The nurse nodded in deference and bowed out of the room, leaving them alone to discuss her situation.

“Go,” she whispered.

“I’m not leaving you to deal with all this on your own.”

Something the nurse said finally resonated. How was she going to pay for a private room? She couldn’t even imagine the medical costs associated with surgery and weeks in a hospital. Not to mention the follow-up visits and physical therapy. “No insur…” Another tear slipped down her cheek. “Ance.”

“It’s okay. I’m gonna take care of everything. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”

Drake was a wealthy man. A few hundred thousand dollars in hospital expenses wouldn’t be a hardship for him, but there was no way she would allow him to feel responsible for her care. “No.”

He sighed. “Cassidy, you don’t have a choice. You have no other way of paying for your medical expenses. You need to let me help you.”

For the first time since she woke up, the despair began to take hold. She had nothing. No home, no career, a broken, battered body. No family, only a select few friends. Was it even worth fighting anymore? “I want…” She’d never allowed herself voice her hopelessness aloud before, not even with Phil, but she’d never been physically immobile, facing months of recuperation before.

“What do you want?” he asked, sounding anxious. “Anything. Just tell me and I’ll get it for you.”

“To die.”

She heard his gasp, but she wouldn’t retract the words even if she could. She’d fought so hard for so long. She was tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of believing that her life could get better when it just kept getting worse. She just wanted to slip away. Maybe what was waiting for her on the other side would be better than the hell she was living in.

Drake felt her words with the force of a bullet spiralling through his body. “Don’t say that. Don’t even think that.”

He’d been sitting by her bed for days, barely taking time to go home for food and a shower. He’d put everything, including his work, on hold to sit by her bedside, even though the doctors told him she wasn’t ready to wake up yet.

He’d once heard that comatose patients heard everything that was happening around them, so he talked to her, read to her, played music for her, just so she would know someone was there. She wasn’t alone anymore.

“I know you’re in pain, but it’s gonna get better. You’ll see, every day will get better.”

“No.”

A heartbreaking sob got trapped in her throat and Drake could have cried with her, but he forced himself to hold it together. “It will, honey. You have to believe that.”

“Won’t.”

Drake knew she wasn’t referring to the physical pain anymore. Her life had been a struggle since the day she was born. Her only reprieve had been their brief time together. He couldn’t blame her for feeling the situation was hopeless, but he wouldn’t let her give up. “Whatever it takes,” he whispered, fiercely. “I’m gonna be with you every step of the way. I promise.”

“Don’t…” She tried to draw a breath and winced in pain. “Want… you.”

The weight of her words fell on his chest, making his heart feel heavy. Trying to choke back the disappointment, he said, “Well, I’m you’re only option. So it looks like you’re stuck with me.” The words for better or worse were floating around in his head, but they sounded too permanent and he knew she would surely resist a permanent arrangement, especially since… she didn’t want him anymore.

That was a bitter pill to swallow. He’d been sitting with her for endless hours and during that time he’d allowed his mind to wander. He remembered the good times they’d shared. The sound of her laughter, the twinkle in her beautiful eyes, the unparalleled sound of her voice when she belted out a ballad. He’d love this woman once. He thought maybe, just maybe, with time and patience, they could get back what they had. But obviously, that was not to be.

“Go.”

Leaving was the last thing he wanted to do, but he knew she needed her rest and he didn’t want to upset her. “Fine,” he said, standing. “I’ll be back later.”

“Don’t,” she whispered.

There was no way he could stay away from her. He knew she needed him, whether she was willing to admit it or not. “Don’t do this,” he pleaded. “Please don’t shut me out.”